Kids with portable DVD's at restaurants!!!

[rbuzzotta]

Well, I will take the flaming I received with a grain of salt. Each is entititled to their own opinions. But I will let you know that I did not consume my entire meal just scrutinizing these families!!! Far from it!! and as far as being judgemental.............I am sure everyone has been judgemental on some issues at some points in their lives!!

At a teppan tables (Bisuteki) the chef is basically entertaining you!!! The 4 children, were not autistic (I have experience working with autistic children), nor appeared to have ADHD issues (2 of my 3 children have ADHD). The mom and dad just conversed amongst each other. Not one person paid attention to the chef. Who knows how this family communicates in the home, but this night there was absolutley NONE!!! With one another and barely any with the staff (only to order drinks!!).

If you think I just watched them the entire time, not true, but it was very difficult not to notice as their table was facing ours!!!

Parent how you wish..............I sure do and I let my DD's know that it was totally unacceptable and actually, my youngest DD (8) thought it rude!!!

 

[chobie]

I could not have said it better. Kids will be kids. Unless all parents of non perfect children stay home and never leave the house, I dont see the harm in any of this.(meaning bringing things inside a restaurant to keep the kids quiet and in one place)

ITA. People speaking loudly and children screaming, crying or running around is behavior that does reach out and affect others. Sitting quitely at your table watching a movie, listening to an Ipod, playing a Gameboy may offend one's own personal idea of what is proper behavior, but in that case the person offended is the one who has the problem.

Personally, I don't do this out, because now that my children are older going out to dinner is the only time we talk together because most meals at home are a rush to eat and get everyone to their nightime activites. However, I would consider it rude for my children to notice other people not talking to each other at their private table and commenting on it. I would tell my kids it was none of their business. JMHO.

 

[rbuzzotta]

Maybe some would consider my 8 year old commenting on it being rude to comment on others table manners but I see it as a learning experience for her!!! How NOT to act.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

The 4 children, were not autistic (I have experience working with autistic children), nor appeared to have ADHD issues (2 of my 3 children have ADHD).

Wow, that must be some experience because I just had a friend who had to go through a 4 month evaluation period with a Neurologist and Pediatric Development expert in order to get a PDD-NOS diagnosis. The experts felt that the really needed to get to know the child well before they could safely say whether or not the child was on the spectrum.

And here you could tell just by sitting at a table next to them in a restaurant over the course of one meal. Amazing.

Autism is known as an "invisible disability." It is more than possible for Autistic children to look just like every other kid.

 

[kdibattista]

Well, I will take the flaming I received with a grain of salt. Each is entititled to their own opinions. But I will let you know that I did not consume my entire meal just scrutinizing these families!!! Far from it!! and as far as being judgemental.............I am sure everyone has been judgemental on some issues at some points in their lives!!

At a teppan tables (Bisuteki) the chef is basically entertaining you!!! The 4 children, were not autistic (I have experience working with autistic children), nor appeared to have ADHD issues (2 of my 3 children have ADHD). The mom and dad just conversed amongst each other. Not one person paid attention to the chef. Who knows how this family communicates in the home, but this night there was absolutley NONE!!! With one another and barely any with the staff (only to order drinks!!).

If you think I just watched them the entire time, not true, but it was very difficult not to notice as their table was facing ours!!!

Parent how you wish..............I sure do and I let my DD's know that it was totally unacceptable and actually, my youngest DD (8) thought it rude!!!

Just curious... have your children ever used the activity/coloring books they give out at the restaurants while at the table?

 

[chobie]

In my family scrutinizing and making value judgments based on other people's behavior that is not affecting our space by being loud or intrusive, is how NOT to act. JMHO

 

[MAKmom]

No, Sea Island, Georgia. From PA. Pre-I-95, on 45-50 MPH (tops) US1 most of the way. In an unairconditioned car. With a father who would not stop until HE had to go, despite 4 girls in the backseat sitting with crossed legs, begging him to stop. Then, when he finally did, he would always make them wait while HE used the restroom. TORTURE!

Your poor DH.

 

[lillygator]

However, I would consider it rude for my children to notice other people not talking to each other at their private table and commenting on it. I would tell my kids it was none of their business. JMHO.

Exactly!!!

 

[cardaway]

Well, I will take the flaming I received with a grain of salt.

And the rest will do the same with your judgments.

 

[THESCHULTZFIVE]

I personally would prefer to have children at another table sitting quietly watching a movie than acting out and disturbing myy family. When we go out, my oldest DD for example knows that the food will be ready shortly and can talk to us or color or whatever while we wait, but my 4 and 2 y/o have no concept of "shortly" so they need a little more entertaining. I haven't taken the dvd to a restaurant, but we do have one in the car and they have taken leapsters out to eat. They do not play while we are eating, just while we're waiting, but I think it's up to the parents to decide when enough is enough.

 

[rbuzzotta]

Wow, that must be some experience because I just had a friend who had to go through a 4 month evaluation period with a Neurologist and Pediatric Development expert in order to get a PDD-NOS diagnosis. The experts felt that the really needed to get to know the child well before they could safely say whether or not the child was on the spectrum.

And here you could tell just by sitting at a table next to them in a restaurant over the course of one meal. Amazing.

Autism is known as an "invisible disability." It is more than possible for Autistic children to look just like every other kid.

Wow.......then with all your knowledge, I will stand corrected. I am not a neurlogist or pediatric development expert. I have however worked with many learning disabled children in my life!!! Yes, these children could have an 'invisible disability', my children do too!!

However, it does not justify the disrectfullness to the waitstaff displayed by this family and flame me all you want...........it is the truth!!! Like it or not!!

Have a magical day!!!

 

[chobie]

However, it does not justify the disrectfullness to the waitstaff displayed by this family and flame me all you want...........it is the truth!!! Like it or not!!

Have a magical day!!!

No, its your opinion, not the truth.

 

[jodifla]

Wow.......then with all your knowledge, I will stand corrected. I am not a neurlogist or pediatric development expert. I have however worked with many learning disabled children in my life!!! Yes, these children could have an 'invisible disability', my children do too!!

However, it does not justify the disrectfullness to the waitstaff displayed by this family and flame me all you want...........it is the truth!!! Like it or not!!

Have a magical day!!!

I think it's a bit strange in the case of the steakhouse, but really, what families do is up to them. And as long as the waitstaff gets paid and is treated cordially, I sincerely doubt they care if the kids are paying attention to them.

We used our DVC player only on vacation, and only when DS was a toddler. But he still uses his Leapster while we are waiting for food to come. Again, to me, no different than crayons at a table.

Contrary to what you say, there's no right or wrong here. Just different points of view.

 

[Nana Annie]

 

[rbuzzotta]

I think it's a bit strange in the case of the steakhouse, but really, what families do is up to them. And as long as the waitstaff gets paid and is treated cordially, I sincerely doubt they care if the kids are paying attention to them.

We used our DVC player only on vacation, and only when DS was a toddler. But he still uses his Leapster while we are waiting for food to come. Again, to me, no different than crayons at a table.

Contrary to what you say, there's no right or wrong here. Just different points of view.

Yes, contrary to what I say, there is no right or wrong here. Just different opinions!! Absolutely correct!!

But is this world coming to an era where electronics overtake us!! To substitiue electronics for human interaction seriously bothers me...........as you can all tell from all the flaming I am recieving from my 'judgemental' post!!!

My kids have eaten in front of the t.v..................many times!!! This thread has taken a turn!! I was talking about in a restaurant!!!

Honestly, I don't care how others raise their children, I don't care what they think about me raising mine. Maybe by placing this post, it is assumed I care or spend my life criticizing other families and parenting styles!!! Not the case!!

I am just surprised to have seen this so much in the past week, I asked if I was out of touch with reality!! I guess by all these negatives responses to my post, then this is more the norm then not!!! and I am out of touch with reality!!! Maybe I am old fashioned and not into the 'electronic' age where it takes over and consumes our daily living!! My girls have cells phones, iPods, gameboys, portable DVDs and all the gizmos and gadgets!!! I am not new to the use of all these gadgets.............just the place they are now being used in!!!

For those that think it is perfectly fine to use DVD's while dining in a restaurnet, then that is your opinion. As for the poster asking if my children use crayons supplied by the restaurnat.............YES they do!! Now I guess you can all say it is the same situationas the DVD thing.............I just don't think so. It is supplied by the establishment and my children are still able to hear when asked if they wanted anything and can stop what they are coloring on to acknowledge the staff. This just did not happen with the family of 4 children using DVD's!!!

 

[rbuzzotta]

No, its your opinion, not the truth.

Maybe my opinion, but when you do not acknowledge someone that is speaking to you.............I call it RUDE!!! Should it be called something else??? I would be happy to rephrase that if you wish!!

 

[chobie]

Maybe my opinion, but when you do not acknowledge someone that is speaking to you.............I call it RUDE!!! Should it be called something else??? I would be happy to rephrase that if you wish!!

Rude would be scrutinizing a table of strangers so closely that you would know that they were not responding the waiter when spoken to, and then having your children scrutinize and comment on it too! JMHO!

 

[jodifla]

Yes, contrary to what I say, there is no right or wrong here. Just different opinions!! Absolutely correct!!

But is this world coming to an era where electronics overtake us!! To substitiue electronics for human interaction seriously bothers me...........as you can all tell from all the flaming I am recieving from my 'judgemental' post!!!

My kids have eaten in front of the t.v..................many times!!! This thread has taken a turn!! I was talking about in a restaurant!!!

Honestly, I don't care how others raise their children, I don't care what they think about me raising mine. Maybe by placing this post, it is assumed I care or spend my life criticizing other families and parenting styles!!! Not the case!!

I am just surprised to have seen this so much in the past week, I asked if I was out of touch with reality!! I guess by all these negatives responses to my post, then this is more the norm then not!!! and I am out of touch with reality!!! Maybe I am old fashioned and not into the 'electronic' age where it takes over and consumes our daily living!! My girls have cells phones, iPods, gameboys, portable DVDs and all the gizmos and gadgets!!! I am not new to the use of all these gadgets.............just the place they are now being used in!!!

For those that think it is perfectly fine to use DVD's while dining in a restaurnet, then that is your opinion. As for the poster asking if my children use crayons supplied by the restaurnat.............YES they do!! Now I guess you can all say it is the same situationas the DVD thing.............I just don't think so. It is supplied by the establishment and my children are still able to hear when asked if they wanted anything and can stop what they are coloring on to acknowledge the staff. This just did not happen with the family of 4 children using DVD's!!!

In my case, we didn't go to restaurants with DS from the time he was about 9 months until almost 3, unless we were on vacation. He was just too rambunctious. So when we did want to eat out with him, the DVD player was great. It focused his attention for a bit of time, and were able to take a deep breath and enjoy our meal.

Right after he turned 3, he became a total restaurant child. We can sit there for an hour and a half now, while he colors or chats with us, or plays little games with us. So now, no need for the DVD player in restaurants.

Now when he's a teen and not speaking to us, those Gameboys will come in handy!

But when I see a child watching a DVD in a restaurant, I figure the parent just needs a break from the busy week, and the DVD player will buy them a bit of parent to parent time, which is needed also.

My DH remembers going out to dinner with his folks and dreading when they'd come around and ask for coffee orders. "Oh no, coffee!!!!" he remembers thinking. He knew the adults would sit around and talk and talk. He would have liked a DVD player back in the '60s!

 

[HayGan]

Wow, that must be some experience because I just had a friend who had to go through a 4 month evaluation period with a Neurologist and Pediatric Development expert in order to get a PDD-NOS diagnosis. The experts felt that the really needed to get to know the child well before they could safely say whether or not the child was on the spectrum.

And here you could tell just by sitting at a table next to them in a restaurant over the course of one meal. Amazing.

Autism is known as an "invisible disability." It is more than possible for Autistic children to look just like every other kid.

Thank you so much for posting this! My son is PDD-NOS and we frequently take his leapster along to meals with us to keep him settled during a meal.

I am very insulted by the comments that one can tell that a child is autistic just by observing them for a brief time. Many people who meet my son can't believe that he is autistic. He doesn't show "typical" autistic behaviors. However, his greatest challenge is communication. In many cases in the situation that the OP has described, he wouldn't know how to respond to the waiter because his brain just doesn't process verbal communication like the rest of us do. He simply doesn't not respond because often times his brain has not processed what has been spoken to him. When he does respond it is often repeating what has been said to him or scripting of another conversation that he has heard.

Honestly, I find it hard to believe that anyone who has had any level of experience with autistic people would paint such a broad brush. Obviously, there is a serious lack of understanding of the autism spectrum there and I find that to be RUDE!

As to the original subject, would it be a choice I would make for our family - no! But there are far more heinous acts commited by parents everyday than allowing a child to entertain themselves during a meal. I don't think that it makes them nominees for the worst parent of the year award.

 

[Nana Annie]