Kids with portable DVD's at restaurants!!!

[bicker]

You actually CAN control how they act.

This isn't true. While a parent's influence is great, it still is only influence. Parents who seek to control their children often end up accomplishing the opposite of what they set out to do.

 

[Mermaid02]

Bicker is right. Kids are individuals... people... little people, but people and they have personalities. We all do our best as parents, but let's face it- some kids are "easier" than others.

Anyway, I'm veering off topic.

 

[froglady]

Froglady was your husband going to Sea Isle in NJ near Ocean City & Avalon?

I agree vacation is NOT the real world.

No, Sea Island, Georgia. From PA. Pre-I-95, on 45-50 MPH (tops) US1 most of the way. In an unairconditioned car. With a father who would not stop until HE had to go, despite 4 girls in the backseat sitting with crossed legs, begging him to stop. Then, when he finally did, he would always make them wait while HE used the restroom. TORTURE!

 

[Bob Slydell]

I saw that for the first time the other day when we went out to eat. I had to do a double take to make sure that's what they had at the table, but I have to agree with others who've said it's really not my concern why the child's parents brought it to the restaurant.

 

[froglady]

Bicker is right. Kids are individuals... people... little people, but people and they have personalities. We all do our best as parents, but let's face it- some kids are "easier" than others.

Anyway, I'm veering off topic.

ITA

From day one, I could take DD ANYWHERE. People would always remark on how well behaved she was. She LOVED getting dressed up, going out to fancy (5 star) restaurants, musicals, ballet, etc. She would sit quietly at dinner, sometimes joining in the conversation, mostly coloring or reading while the adults lingered over coffee.

DS is a completely different animal. Same parents, same parenting, totally different results.

 

[ToriLammy]

We, as a society, are raising a class of what my mother terms, "videots". People who cannot sit still without electronics available to them. ... (cut for brevity) Society as a whole is in for a BIG problem. We are raising people incapable of human interaction. Should be interesing.

Interesting. I was just going to say the kids watching the DVD players were just in training I work at a University and have noticed the trend toward iPods and cell phones. It has even been a topic of editorials in the campus new papers about how the days of casual conversation and personal interaction are going away because all the students are hooked up either to an iPod or they immediately flip open their phones when leaving class. I would say 8 out of 10 do the cell phone thing (yes I've watched while waiting for my daughter to get out of class) and 3 out of 5 walk around campus with headphones on.

 

[allie&mattsmom]

I read so many of these posts that assume that the parents allow a game boy or whatever to be played while waiting for their dinner to come out as a way of shutting their kids up or a way out of dealing with the kids. As I stated earlier, my kids have brought their games into restaraunts, sometimes books. They are 8 and 10 and believe me when I say, they know how to behave and they do behave, with or without games or books at restaraunts. We would not accept anything less. They learned this from a very early age -inappropriate behavior has consequences. We don't allow them to bring a game or book in as a way to shut them up. Nor do they sit there the entire time and vegetate in front of these things. There is always conversation of some sort. They are good kids who are polite to the waitresses/ waiters, always say yes please/no thank you, May I? etc. Again, we expect it and wouldn't accept any less. It kills me to think of people a table over who see my DD reading her AR book b/c she can't put it down, or my DS playing his PSP, thinking they have my DH and I pegged as parents taking the easy way out. Not being a judgemental person myself, it's the replies to posts such as this one that remind me just how many judgemental people there truly are in the world. Now if I find anything sad, it's that.

 

[pixiemomma]

I don't think it's a big deal if someone's kid wants to watch a DVD or play with a Gameboy or PSP at a restaurant. As many have been said, it's a far better alternative to being around disruptive children.

And I wouldn't automatically assume that there is a lack of communication within the family that allows it. That's a big leap to make. You have no idea how much time they spend with each other or how often they talk.

I totally agree. People on these boards assume way too much about others lives. There are atrocities committed againest children everyday....this isn't one of them.

 

[Planogirl]

I don't think that you can assume anything when you see this. Maybe the parent and kid had spent the whole day together doing something and they were relaxing during dinner? After all, not even kids want to be attached to their parents 24 hours a day.

I think it's short-sighted to assume anything when you see strangers. It's too easy to judge and condemn without actually knowing the whole story.

 

[thumpersfriend]

I agree Planogirl. Maybe these kids were autistic! Have to say my granddaughter is autistic and will be 4 when we go to WDW next April, A small dvd player is one of the things we will use in order to eat at a restaurant like normal people. There are probably odd things people do in order to enjoy things that others take for granted, so I wouldn't think this is a case of bad parenting. If you are lucky enough to have children without a type of disability, then just feel blessed.

 

[cardaway]

I fail to see how a DVD player or video game is anything but a high tech version of the typical crayons and placemat restaurant kid solution. If it makes them happy, and keeps their noise level down to the enjoyment of everybody around them, I say go for it.

 

[lillygator]

it's funny, parents get slammed for using DVD players in restaurants or for having a noisy child - they just can't win!

 

[RitaZ.]

What? So, the kids were quiet? That's a good thing! Seriously, parents just can't win. If the kids are loud, the parents aren't doing their job. If the kids play a handheld video game or watch a dvd, then the family is obviously disconnected.

This isn't true. While a parent's influence is great, it still is only influence. Parents who seek to control their children often end up accomplishing the opposite of what they set out to do.

I absolutely agree with you.

I'm always fascinated by people who observe strangers with such scrutiny. Whenever we go out to dinner, we focus on our conversation and food. It would have to be a big disruption to get me to notice. As long as the other diners aren't using offensive language and directly affecting my dinner, I don't care what they do.

I have the built-in tv screens behind the headrests in my vehicle. The kids do watch, but not as often as I thought they would. The option is great for long trips though. When my kids do watch a DVD, DH and I can actually have a nice and relaxing conversation. I don't get to hear, "She is touching me, he licked me, he said I'm stupid, get away from me, I don't like you, you're so disgusting, etc." BTW, our family isn't disconnected nor dysfunctional.

When we were young and travelled on vacation, I remember aggravating the heck out of our parents with our constant bickering. I'm sure a video or a handheld game would have made the road trips more enjoyable for all.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

well, I guess you can spend your mealtime watching a dvd player or gameboy--
or you could spend it peering around at the other tables critiquing the parenting styles of complete strangers and making snap judgements about entire lifestyles based on a couple of minutes of observation.

Honestly, if people at other tables aren't bothering me, I really don't care. In fact, I consider it kind of rude and nosey to insert myself in their business.

We've had restaurant meals where my kids have brought in Gameboys or a movie on the PSPs. I assure you that they all all know how to use their utensils, put a napkin in their lap, and make conversation nicely when it is required of them.

 

[sunlver]

Ugh.. I typed a long response and it got deleted.
I have not read all the responses, only some.

I know people have strong opinions on this. When my 2nd child came along I wish we had a portable dvd player. My first child was very easy going, we could drive to Disney and it was nice. He would entertain himself with toys, coloring books, game boy etc... then my 2nd came along. She was complete opposite, She could not sit still to save her life. We hated taking her to restaurants because she would not sit. See she wasnt big on eating, so she had no reason to sit. Sure we brought little things for her, it did not matter. I think a portable dvd player for her would of been a life saver. I remember driving to the mountains for a long weekend when she was a yr old. She literally cried and whined the whole 4 hrs in the car. Why, simply she couldnt stand being confined. Again, if we had a portable dvd player, it would of helped. So I would never condem anybody if they had a child like this and I saw a parent bring one into a restaurant for a child like this. I would hear people say "Oh my kids know better then to act like that"...meaning how my daughter acted, wouldnt sit still always moving..Well heck, if you can confine my daughter, more power to you., Each child is different, some people have a hard time recognizing that.
Now she is 6 1/2 and is much better. My thing is sometimes she will carry a coloring book and crayons into a restaurant, and color before dinner, eat her dinner and carry on coloring.. Is this rude as well?
We have only bought our first dvd player for the car this past Christmas, and the kids love it. My youngest is 20 months old, and she giggles when she gets to watch the Wiggles in the car. We also bought a portable dvd player to take in places with us(The one in the car has no battery pack).I would not hesitate to use it in a restaurant if service was unreasonably slow and the baby was getting restless.
I think as I got older and now have 3 kids, I have become a lot tolerant of things. I have 3 totally dift kids, and if me and my husband want to go out as a family then we make concessions with the kids. Sometimes older kids bring books in with us.I think its wonderful they want to read. Again they read, put the book down, we eat, and then we leave. I see no harm with it.
I rather have a screaming high strung kid watching a dvd movie then running around a restaurant.

 

[Planogirl]

I don't know if I should admit this or not but what the heck. We often watch TV while we eat. We have our conversations while we're not stuffing food in our mouths because that's just how we do it here. And we all talk to each other a lot.

There, I admitted one of my shortcomings.

 

[sunlver]

it's funny, parents get slammed for using DVD players in restaurants or for having a noisy child - they just can't win!

I could not have said it better. Kids will be kids. Unless all parents of non perfect children stay home and never leave the house, I dont see the harm in any of this.(meaning bringing things inside a restaurant to keep the kids quiet and in one place)

 

[kdibattista]

Although it would be easy for me to say that it would be unacceptable for us when we have a child, the truth is that I don't know their situation and I don't feel it's my right to judge them.

 

[MosMom]

We watch TV a lot when we eat too. I doubt admitting that exposes me as a non-perfect parent though.

I never got how mealtime should be talk time? Mealtime is eat time and it is rude to talk with your mouth full so how much talking can you really get in?

I can one up you though Plano, we usually watch The Simpsons when we eat. LOL

Funny how so many people compliment me on how well behaved my children are though. I'm so confused.

 

[Planogirl]

We watch TV a lot when we eat too. I doubt admitting that exposes me as a non-perfect parent though.

I never got how mealtime should be talk time? Mealtime is eat time and it is rude to talk with your mouth full so how much talking can you really get in?

I can one up you though Plano, we usually watch The Simpsons when we eat. LOL

Funny how so many people compliment me on how well behaved my children are though. I'm so confused.

Guess what? We have watched The Simpsons during dinner. Oh oh.

I agree with you so much about talking with your mouth full. It's not that we sit there in silence but it's just nice to relax and veg and not spit food at each other.

We have tons of conversations too. My husband and son are regular chatterboxes and I'm not so it gets interesting sometimes. I have no problems with communication here!

My philosophy is that whatever works for people is what's right. I choose not to judge those who do things differently.