Kids Shipboard Freedom

[disney6]

Lisa, since we are members of the Disney Vacation Club it was easy for us to add our DS's friend as it cost us "points" as opposed to cash (we did not go to WDW as planned last October so had some extra points to play with). His parents are paying his airfare, tips, excursion (Atlantis Submarine) and spending money. If we would have had enough ff miles we would have used those for him also but it wasn't to be. His parents OFFERED to pay, we planned on paying when we invited him - felt having a buddy along was worth the money - but they insist on paying and I'm not one to argue excessively about it. If we did not have the DVC I'm not sure what we would have done, I know it doesn't help you but that's what we are doing.

 

[lsmac]

Thank you for the information on taking a friend for ds. I kind of thought it would only be right for us to pay for all (except extra spending money). We had gotten one of our plane tickets free, so it wouldn't be to far a stretch to add one more. I am just not sure how to approach the parents with it. I would be kind of leery allowing my son to go out of the country with other people...no matter how well I knew them!
Thanks again for the info!
Lisa

 

[TeensMom]

I think someone said it - you know your kids - but I'll tell you how we handled it on our first cruise when DS was 10 and DD 13.

On "at sea" days, entire family ate breakfast together every morning and discussed individual plans for the day. We decided whether to eat lunch together, etc. We checked son into kids program but gave him privileges to check himself out - we had radio but never used it. Daughter was in Common Grounds will full freedom. Both kids made friends quickly and we made it a point to meet parents of friends and find out what room they were in. Everyday entire family met back in room in time to get ready for evening show and dinner. During dinner we discussed evening plans and curfews. We also kept a pad and pencil in room near door. If anyone's plans changed, they were supposed to leave note. One night, my son and I were doing a family game show in Studio Sea at midnight. We left note for daughter. Daughter came back, left note for us, etc. We eventually all ended up back at room around 1 - 1:30 am. This worked for us.

This cruise both kids had full freedom but we still met friends and parents of friends.

Assuming that your boys are "friends" you might consider giving them freedom as long as they are together. Any separate activities to be agreed upon by parents.

It is true that there are all kinds of wierd people out there (even, potentially on a Disney Cruise), but part of our responsibility as parents is to teach our kids how to stay out of situations or get out of them. I think we have to continually give them a *little* more freedom than WE are comfortable with.

Sure you will have a wonderful trip!

 

[disneyholic family]

i just asked my kids about this....
my son is 15 and we were just on the july 4th wonder cruise...
he says there's no way he would let a 12 year old roam the ship alone....maybe if there are two together, but definitely not alone....
he says there were some not so nice kids on the cruise......that the adults may think they're nice but that they're the manipulative kind who know how to make adults think they're angels while in fact they're anything but....
he learned immediately who to stay away from, but he's not sure a 12 year old would be that discerning....

 

[Mjasp]

Thanks for that tid bit. Adults are usually the ones that can see through the kids. Seems like your 15 yr old has a good head on his shoulders, you must be proud of him.

Joanna

 

[imgoingtodisney]

Im thinking (at this time anyways) that DS10.5 (when we cruise) will have Deck 5 freedom. Our room is on deck 5 and so is the oceaneer lab and the movie theatre. Not sure about wandering the entire ship yet.
He has started staying home for a few hours by himself. He is very mature and both DH & I feel comfortable letting him have some freedom.
When we go away on our mini-vacas (after I feel the place out) I let him have a few mins by himself to wander. But when he leaves a certain area he is to check in and let us know where he is going.

 

[ducklite]

My DS is 16 1/2, and he will have free roam, within limits. After dinner he will be allowed to be in our cabin, or Common Grounds, unless he has permission in advance to be elsewhere. Under no circumstances will he be allowed anywhere other than Common Grounds after midnight. He will not be allowed to bring friends of either gender into the cabin when we aren't there. He also won't be allowed to go to anyone elses cabin. At 2:00am he will immediately return to our cabin, none of this roaming the ship and sleeping on the deck nonsense.

We're basically using the same rules as at home, modified slightly to adjust for the late hour of some of the supervised activities.

Anne

 

[4nana]

Anne aka ducklite

Your reply may have raised a few eyebrows but I had to LOL when I read it! Sounds very familiar! We raised 4 from the 'old school' rules and never had a problem Everyone is out of college now and we're blessed w/7 wonderful grands. Funny, it seems I cut my Dgrands a lot more slack. Maybe because I'm not raising them

 

[FantasticDisFamily]

Anne,

I was glad to see your post. I hadn't even thought about the all night stuff - although my son did just mention as I read this that he'd read posts about kids doing that the last night of the cruise.

He's entering high school this fall, will be nearly 16 when we sail - angling for "more freedom". I like the approach and may very well copy it! They really have supervised activity until 2:00 am?!?!?

Deb

 

[disneyholic family]

FantasticDisFamily...
we were on the july 4th wonder cruise....the teens had supervised activities on some nights until 2 am....
the common grounds counselors were excellent by the way....
they also had supervised activities on CC at the teen beach...

my son (15) was with us for breakfasts (sit down in tritons), lunches and dinners, for our swim at atlantis, the special showing of lilo and stitch on the big screen and the two shows in the walt disney theatre.....the rest of the time he was in the teen acitivities....
on CC he was with us only to snorkel and eat lunch, then he headed over to the teen beach....

 

[FOJMO]

We took our first Disney Magic cruise with just the three of us --- me, DH and DD (13 at the time). BIG MISTAKE! We took her to Common Grounds when we boarded and introduced her to the CM there, but she wouldn't have any part of it. She was at that age where she just didn't make friends easily by herself. We (DH & me) couldn't go to the clubs, or anything that was "over 18" without leaving her alone. We managed to go to the comedy club (when they had that back in the beginning of the cruises) and left her in the stateroom watching TV for about an hour. Felt guilty and came back. Thankfully, it was before the 7 day cruises and we were only gone 4 days.

The second cruise (last Nov - Eastern), we took along a friend. Because our DD was older (15) and she had a good friend along, it made all the difference! WE HARDLY SAW THEM! Actually, they did their thing, we did ours, and we met up for breakfast (sometimes) and dinner and sometimes the show, but for the most part, we all had the best of both worlds. Adult time, teen time and family time. They are both very mature. We did not do the walkie-talkie thing. They pretty much were told that they were to stay with the teen club and their activities and, yes, they do have activities that go until 2AM! We would even go to bed around Midnight and they would be in around 2AM. We'd sometimes leave them sleeping in the morning, and catch up with them later. We almost always bumped into them during the day and, of course, on days when we were in port, we were together and they were absolutely not allowed to do any offship activities/excursions without us.

I have to stress that you need to be very sure of whom you take along with you, though. You want to have someone who your child is going to get along with and not grow tired of easily. Our daughter had some friends along in the past (at WDW) and after about the 3rd day, was wishing we were back home again cause they were around each other so much. Make sure they can agree on most things and not have someone too aggressive OR to passive. My DD hates when her friend can't make up her own mind ("I don't know, what are YOU going to have? I don't know, what do YOU want to do?)

Oh, we also are DVC members, so the first time we took along DD's friend, we just used points. But, for our Western next May, we are using points for DH and me and paying for our DD and her friend. We only ask that she bring along her own spending money for things she wants. And we pay for any shore excursions.

You also will need to have her birth certificate and a NOTARIZED letter of permission from her parent(s).

Good luck and have a wonderful trip!

 

[trishy]

... and he'll turn out to be a fine gentleman, I'm sure. Kids (those under 18 or still living at home after) need boundaries - no matter what they say.

My dd is in 8th grade - her school is about a mile away. She wants to walk to school every morning & walk home every afternoon which is fine with me. However, since there is no other walking partner from this block, I walk with her (and our dog, Norman). Now, I get a some snickering behind my back from friends & neighbors who feel kids (some as young as 7) should be able to walk to school alone, but there is just too much going on in this world right now for me to feel comfortable allowing her even this much freedom. It's not always a matter of trust in your child - I trust my dd very much - it's also putting trust in other people which I cannot freely do. Even on the Disney Cruise Line.

 

[bulldawglady]

Personally and unfortunately, I treat the Disney cruise as I would any other public venue--the mall, amusement parks, theatres, McDonalds etc...I watch my kids like a hawk! In this day and age, you just never know what kind of monster is lurking around the corner and I know that I could never live with myself if something happened to one of my children that could have been prevented with just a little more diligence on my part.
It's not even so much the maturity level of the child, plenty of mature children are molested or worse by adults, it's more of an age thing and "street smarts". When we went on a cruise a few years ago, I felt comfortable enough to let my 12 year old niece and 15 year old daughter go out TOGETHER and they had no problems.
That being said, my twin daughter going on this cruise are only 8 and I would never even dream of letting them go anywhere on the ship without me except the Oceaneers Club, there really is no reason to.
Call me overprotective, but if I am going to err on one side or the other, it will definitely be on the side of caution.

 

[taswira]

I am sure that DCL screens its employees better than Carnival. If I had any kids, I would never let them roam free on a Carnival ship. This is an excerpt from a 12-99 news article that cited attacks against children and adult women:

"<I>Known for its Fun Ships, the Carnival Cruise Lines unit of Carnival Corp. last July disclosed in court papers filed for the case that passengers and crew had lodged 108 charges of molestations, rape and other sex attacks at sea during the five years through August 1998. Carnival said its ships carry two million passengers a year and that the level of alleged sex attacks was statistically lower than in a typical U.S. suburb</I>. "

 

[trishy]

Oh My God!!! 108 in 5 years "...statistically lower than in a typical U.S. suburb" Shame on Carnival for being nonchalant and accepting of these numbers! Let's compare it to a typical cruise ship. Taswira, thanks for that report - very interesting.

 

[Dave_from_Marietta]

Originally posted by Willowwind

We dated at Chuck E. Cheese!

Oh my. As the parent of a 5-year-old (doing the math, I see that your DD was 5 and your DS was 4 when you were dating), I don't know whether to laugh, groan, or say "you go, girl"!. Probably the latter.

 

[Aly]

pink My kids are 13 and 16 and even if they were 9 or 10 i'd still let them go off by themselves because they are very bright and know not to go with anyone but us! Also we use walkie talkies becaus they are good to have incase.

 

[mcnuss]

Just to throw in my 2 cents: We will be on Deck 5 and I will possibly allow DD8 to sign herself out under the strict condition that she calls the room (or uses the walkies) to tell us she is going straight to the room and we will meet her there. There is no way in the world I would allow her to have the run of the ship! She's just a little kid! Maybe if she had an older sibling or friend but never on her own. I am not terribly over-protective but I do like to know where she is at all times.

 

[ennazus]

I'm a little late in chiming in here

I hate to rain on anyone's parade (or cruise ) but there are sick people EVERYWHERE!! DCL does not give psychological screenings of people prior to letting them board the ship. Nor do they check the criminal background of everyone on board. Your children are still surrounded by strangers. I hate to say it, but a stranger could just grab a child and bring him/her into his stateroom *Please, God Forbid this!* But it could happen.

Good behavior does not mean protection.

Very wise words, bulldawglady.

 

[taswira]

<B>ennazus</B>, I could not have said it better! All those incidents previously noted about <I>Carnival</I> not only involved crew members (which <I>was</I> a screening problem), but PASSENGERS. There is no way <I>any</I> cruise line can "keep all the bad guys away."