Kids say the funniest things...

[IMGONNABE40!]

One time when DH was out of town I got a splinter in the bottom of my foot. Try as I might, I just could not get myself pretzeled into a position to remove the splinter. I thought I would ask my DS who was about 8 at the time to give it a try. He had had a splinter in his hand earlier in the week so was familiar with the process.

Well, he gave it a try with whatever instrument I had been using and then got up to "get something better". He returns with a paring knife from the block of knives and a roll of duct tape. I asked what he was going to do with the knife and he explained that he would use it to cut a slit in the bottom of my foot to take the splinter out. I asked him what the duct tape was for and he explained that he was going to put a piece over my mouth so he did not have to hear me screaming.

Don't know what made me think of that tonight, but it cracks me up everytime I think about it.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

omg thats tooo funny..
i babysit a 5 year old from my daycare i work at...he asked about a coworker- who is a friend of mine..i told him "ms jessica goes to school in pennsylvania"
hes aid....u mean, with dracula?
(he thought i meant translvania,,i told his mom and she just laughed..he was soo cute about it!)

 

[cynsaun]

I've said this one before, but it's a classic!

My daughter came home from school one day, looked at me, and said, "Mommy, what was it like before you had the sun?"

Another time, my other daughter said, "Wow, you were alive way back in the 80s?" I told her that I was, and actually I was alive in the 70s. She says, "wow, that was like 100 years ago!"

Ahhhh, the joys of parenthood!

 

[laurie31]

The other day, out of the blue my dd5 asked, "How many years until I turn 35?"

I answered her and then asked why she wanted to know.

She said, "That's how old you have to be to be President!"

"Really?" I responded, wondering how she even knew this - apparently, they've been talking about the election process at school.

"Yep! That's all it takes!" she responded brightly.

By this time, I'm dying laughing on the inside, and I said, "Really??? That's *all* it takes?" (thinking one must also have connections and millions of $$ in campaign contributions...but not wanting to explain that to dd at this moment)

She thought for a moment and then said very seriously, "Well...you have to not stink. And you should wear something beautiful."



I guess someone needs to tell Bush and Kerry to shower frequently and hire fashion consultants

Laurie, mom of future good-smelling, well-dressed pres (who will moonlight as a ballet teacher, an astronaut, and a veternarian )

 

[pkasbohm]

my dd will be 3 in sept. my ds6 said that we need another baby. He asked me if i could go to the doctor and get one of those baby pills from the doctor so we could have another baby. Then he added--can you get a pink pill because aubrey need a sister to play with! I laughed and to this day he still thinks that you go to the doctor to get a baby pill because i didn't want to explain it to him or ruin his innocence! That will come before we know it!!!

Pam

 

[Annette_VA]

 

[KimR]

The grocery store near our house has really lousy produce. I usually go to one a little further away, but I was in a hurry one day last week so I decided to go the closest one and just run in and pick up a few things. I was in the produce section trying to find some cherries that didn't have fur growing on them, grumbling and complaining the whole time. My 6 year-old DD said 'well, what do you expect, it's a GROSS-ery store!'.

 

[JohnsPrincess]

I have a couple cute ones...
My little sister is 4 now. One thing she used to always say when she didn't want to do something was, "I'm too busy". "Nikki, pick up your toys"...I'm too busy. Nikki, talk to you sister on the phone...I'm too busy, etc. It was the funniest thing cause you knew she just didn't feel like it.

Last week was my birthday...last weekend we went to mom's house for dinner and she REALLY wanted to sing happy birthday but we wanted to wait for the cake. After a few times of telling her, "In a couple minutes" she gets up and walks in the house... But before she goes in she says, "I guess I just won't play at your party anymore." It was SOOOO cute and funny.

Also at my party I was in the pool with her and we were swimming and we stopped and were talking and she put her hands up to my face and said, "Lexi, you're so beautiful". I said, "Well, Thank you Nik!!" and she goes, "You're so beautiful and you'll Always be so beautiful". I about died it was so sweet.

BUT...
My favorite. A couple years ago I was pushing her in a shopping cart and my mom was doing some shopping. Nikki and I are talking and all the sudden she Stops and looks hard at me and goes, "Sissy...You're OLD". Okay...I was probably 23 at the time. I was like, "HEY!!! Mommy's older than I am!!!" She just looked at me like I was nuts. Thanks kid.

 

[nativetxn]

I loved reading these. Kids <i>do</i> say the funniest things!