kids home alone

[Nancyg56]

I guess I'm the only one that feels differently about this situation. I understand that this is an inconveinence to you, but I actually think you're in a great position to help this little boy and his mom. It's not often that an opportunity like this pretty much falls into your lap. She is a single mother working hard to support her son. He is a lonely little boy who would probably love to spend every day with his mom, but is left alone at home . I understand this is not your problem. I totally get that you don't want to be responsible for this kid.....but honestly, aside from it being a little bit inconvienent and your kids having to share their things (and you), is it really THAT bad? You could really make a difference in this child's life. You could be the one that is there for him when no one else is. This would be a great opportunity to teach your children how to go above and beyond what is expected and be there for a child in need. These next few years in his life are crucial. There are many things he could be doing while unsupervised and for now he is choosing to spend it with you and your children. Personally, I'd like to think that I would put aside my own feelings and welcome this child into my home and allow him to have a safe place to hang out. I can't say for sure since I've never been in this position, but that's what I'd like to think .

I agree with you. When my children were young I was the Mom who was home more than the others in our neighborhood so my home was the go to home. There were times when it was a little overwhelming but for the most part I was okay with it. The children whowere home have no say in how they are cared for or how they spend their summer so I figured that if I could make the time go by in a better manner I would do that.

It was crazy at times, we went through more boxes of Popsicles and more PB&J sandwiches than I would have ever been able to count and there were times my dinner table seemed to explode but I don't regret that.

 

[Aliceacc]

I guess I'm the only one that feels differently about this situation. I understand that this is an inconveinence to you, but I actually think you're in a great position to help this little boy and his mom. It's not often that an opportunity like this pretty much falls into your lap. She is a single mother working hard to support her son. He is a lonely little boy who would probably love to spend every day with his mom, but is left alone at home . I understand this is not your problem. I totally get that you don't want to be responsible for this kid.....but honestly, aside from it being a little bit inconvienent and your kids having to share their things (and you), is it really THAT bad? You could really make a difference in this child's life. You could be the one that is there for him when no one else is. This would be a great opportunity to teach your children how to go above and beyond what is expected and be there for a child in need. These next few years in his life are crucial. There are many things he could be doing while unsupervised and for now he is choosing to spend it with you and your children. Personally, I'd like to think that I would put aside my own feelings and welcome this child into my home and allow him to have a safe place to hang out. I can't say for sure since I've never been in this position, but that's what I'd like to think .

That's pretty much what I was going to post.

It's a wonderful teachable moment for you own kids about charity and helping those who weren't born as lucky as we were.

And, from a personal gain point of view: things with this kid will work out one of two ways. Either he'll find constructive ways of occupying his time or he'll find destructive ways. Those destructive ways may very well include a bad set of friends. Do you want those kids hanging out unsupervised across the street next summer of the one after? Think ahead 6 summers, and think of where this lost sheep will be then.

I know it's hard. You're parenting your own kids and you've made sure they're well supervised. But I would still search deep within and find a way to guide this young boy as much as possible.

 

[momz]

I agree...wouldn't it be just wonderful if I could be everything to this child...what an opportunity...

Really? You make it sound as if I'm a horrible person for wanting some family time without him there.

Also...I am NOT the mom that is home most of the time. I have a full time job, in fact, if you were to add up the hours, I work more hours than his own mother does.

I have 2 days/week that I can spend just me and my kids, and summer is short. I want to be able to pick up and go somewhere on a whim, without having to explain it to him, without having to deal with the sad faces and the "it's just not fair" attitude that I get from both him and my son when I tell them DS can go, but neighbor boy isn't invited.

The suggestions of telling him he can come over on X day between A-time and B-time doesn't allow for summertime spontaneity. Plus, if I do that, then he's certainly going to continuing to be at my house EVERYDAY that I am off work.

Seriously...I work hard, and when I'm home, I don't want to constantly be entertaining others. I'm not a cold and heartless person...I've had him at my house everyday this summer and I need a break from it.

 

[okeydokey]

I agree...wouldn't it be just wonderful if I could be everything to this child...what an opportunity...

Really? You make it sound as if I'm a horrible person for wanting some family time without him there.

Also...I am NOT the mom that is home most of the time. I have a full time job, in fact, if you were to add up the hours, I work more hours than his own mother does.

I have 2 days/week that I can spend just me and my kids, and summer is short. I want to be able to pick up and go somewhere on a whim, without having to explain it to him, without having to deal with the sad faces and the "it's just not fair" attitude that I get from both him and my son when I tell them DS can go, but neighbor boy isn't invited.

The suggestions of telling him he can come over on X day between A-time and B-time doesn't allow for summertime spontaneity. Plus, if I do that, then he's certainly going to continuing to be at my house EVERYDAY that I am off work.

Seriously...I work hard, and when I'm home, I don't want to constantly be entertaining others. I'm not a cold and heartless person...I've had him at my house everyday this summer and I need a break from it.

I don't blame you at all. Send him home every time, he will eventually get it.

 

[Erin1700]

I completely agree with you. You are not a bad person for wanting time to yourself and your kids. I would just keep sending him away but maybe once in a while invite him in for some fun.

 

[momz]

I realize my last post is rather defensive. I guess, mostly I'm just venting here...I really need a break from the kid. I appreciate the opportunity to lash back at strangers on the dis...it's safe to let it out here, no repercussions for any of us.

 

[Suzanne74]

That's pretty much what I was going to post.

It's a wonderful teachable moment for you own kids about charity and helping those who weren't born as lucky as we were.

And, from a personal gain point of view: things with this kid will work out one of two ways. Either he'll find constructive ways of occupying his time or he'll find destructive ways. Those destructive ways may very well include a bad set of friends. Do you want those kids hanging out unsupervised across the street next summer of the one after? Think ahead 6 summers, and think of where this lost sheep will be then.

I know it's hard. You're parenting your own kids and you've made sure they're well supervised. But I would still search deep within and find a way to guide this young boy as much as possible.

Why is it her "job" to guide this boy? The OP works and only has 2 days a week this summer to spend family time with her kids. Since her kids are getting resentful of the fact the kid is always over and constantly puts her in an awkward position when the family want to do things on their own, I don't think the answer should be "guide this boy." Give me a break!

 

[Jaden'smommy]

I realize my last post is rather defensive. I guess, mostly I'm just venting here...I really need a break from the kid. I appreciate the opportunity to lash back at strangers on the dis...it's safe to let it out here, no repercussions for any of us.

I completely agree with you.

 

[lovemy4sweeties]

I agree...wouldn't it be just wonderful if I could be everything to this child...what an opportunity...

Really? You make it sound as if I'm a horrible person for wanting some family time without him there.

Also...I am NOT the mom that is home most of the time. I have a full time job, in fact, if you were to add up the hours, I work more hours than his own mother does.

I have 2 days/week that I can spend just me and my kids, and summer is short. I want to be able to pick up and go somewhere on a whim, without having to explain it to him, without having to deal with the sad faces and the "it's just not fair" attitude that I get from both him and my son when I tell them DS can go, but neighbor boy isn't invited.

The suggestions of telling him he can come over on X day between A-time and B-time doesn't allow for summertime spontaneity. Plus, if I do that, then he's certainly going to continuing to be at my house EVERYDAY that I am off work.

Seriously...I work hard, and when I'm home, I don't want to constantly be entertaining others. I'm not a cold and heartless person...I've had him at my house everyday this summer and I need a break from it.

This is just my opinion. You can interpret it as you wish. I didn't say it was easy, nor did I say it was mandatory. I didn't even say it's what I would do. I said, I'd like to think I would choose to do it that way. Nobody thinks you're a horrible person. It's your decision. I'm just trying to look at it from the child's point of view. Anytime I'm face with a dilemma, I try my best to view it from the other person's shoes.

 

[lovemy4sweeties]

I don't blame you at all. Send him home every time, he will eventually get it.

Unfortunately, I think this is how most people think. The whole, "it's not my problem, let someone else deal with it" way of thinking. It is in fact the truth, but sad that most people don't care.

To the OP, you sound like you're trying to do the right thing and you're obviously taking this boys feelings into consideration otherwise you wouldn't have posted about this. I hope it all works out and I agree that you deserve time alone with your kids .

 

[disykat]

I think you HAVE to look at it not only from your shoes, or as others have suggested - the neglected kids shoes, but from your KID'S shoes. They deserve to have family time with you.

You've stated they are sometimes resentful of this other kid. That's not good for anyone. It's clear THEY need and desire time with you, just for the family, and it's not doing anyone any favors to deny them that IMO.

I've been there, as have many others here, and it is hard to care for other kids when it gets to the point of burdensome. There's a point where you have to become self protective. I think the "green light" system is a great thing. I know we found it easier when we instigated it. Our green light in the summer time was the garage door being open.

 

[DisneySarah80]

Just don't answer the door when he comes knocking. I feel bad for the boy, but you can't be responcible for anyone other than yourself, and your children.
What if the mother knows nothing about this, and then the child ends up getting molested by someone, and you get blamed for it. I know its far fetched, but it could happen.

 

[fakereadhed]

This is just my opinion. You can interpret it as you wish. I didn't say it was easy, nor did I say it was mandatory. I didn't even say it's what I would do. I said, I'd like to think I would choose to do it that way. Nobody thinks you're a horrible person. It's your decision. I'm just trying to look at it from the child's point of view. Anytime I'm face with a dilemma, I try my best to view it from the other person's shoes.

Does the OP deserve the same courtesy?

 

[lovemy4sweeties]

Does the OP deserve the same courtesy?

Of course! That is why I wrote this:

To the OP, you sound like you're trying to do the right thing and you're obviously taking this boys feelings into consideration otherwise you wouldn't have posted about this. I hope it all works out and I agree that you deserve time alone with your kids .