Kids and inappropriate movies

[Acklander]

I never understand why parents feel that it is O.K. for their impressionable kids to willingly choose to see this kind of stuff. Or maybe the parents just don't care?!

Because some parents feel that their kids can handle hearing the occasional bad word or sex scene and understand that their kids know the difference between what is happening on the screen and what is and isn't allowed in real life.

Honestly, I may not agree with people allowing their kids (and teens) to only see G rated movies, but I can understand WHY they might want to do that.Those parents have a different point of view than me, and that's OK. I don't see why it's so hard for for someone to understand a different point of view or assume that because a parent has a different point of view than them that they just don't care.

 

[Hannathy]

I respectfully disagree. I have a 15 y/o DS and he does not talk about stuff like this in school. He's no angel, but he's very sensitive to smut talk. I don't know if it's a coincidence, but he's also been raised in the church, is very active in our church and is a very good, Christian kid. He wants to be a youth pastor when he "grows up".

You spend everyday with him?

I only ask because I have heard some of the things that were discussed among the kids my DD went to school with in 7th and 8th grade from them when they were older and I never would have guessed it at the time. And these are good kids to.

Don't think that just cause they are good kids these things aren't talked about, they don't have to be doing them but they are being talked about and heard

 

[marcyinPA]

Because some parents feel that their kids can handle hearing the occasional bad word or sex scene and understand that their kids know the difference between what is happening on the screen and what is and isn't allowed in real life.

Honestly, I may not agree with people allowing their kids (and teens) to only see G rated movies, but I can understand WHY they might want to do that.Those parents have a different point of view than me, and that's OK. I don't see why it's so hard for for someone to understand a different point of view or assume that because a parent has a different point of view than them that they just don't care.

OK, point taken. But the OP isn't talking about a movie with an occasional sex scene or f-bomb. She's talking about a movie that is packed with stuff like that. I know kids see it, hear it, whatever...at school, in society, etc. Why would seeing a movie like that be a good choice for your kids? Why do they NEED to see it? What value does it provide? This is what confuses me.

My DS15 knows about sex, violence, drugs, profanity, etc. etc. etc. He's not sheltered and doesn't live in a bubble. He watches more than just G movies. However, we just don't see the value in his watching stuff like this. We know all that stuff is out there, but why do you need to be submerged in it constantly BY CHOICE? Is it because your kids wear you down by asking to watch it because their friends are watching it? Or do you really find value in them seeing these movies? I just don't get it!

(Acklander, when I say "you" in this post, I don't mean YOU personally...I mean YOU in general...just wanted to clarify!)

 

[marcyinPA]

You spend everyday with him?

I only ask because I have heard some of the things that were discussed among the kids my DD went to school with in 7th and 8th grade from them when they were older and I never would have guessed it at the time. And these are good kids to.

Don't think that just cause they are good kids these things aren't talked about, they don't have to be doing them but they are being talked about and heard

No, I don't. Like I said, he's no angel. But I know his personality, and I know he is easily offended. I know he HEARS it, but I doubt he participates in the discussion. I could be wrong...but I seriously doubt it.

 

[Acklander]

OK, point taken. But the OP isn't talking about a movie with an occasional sex scene or f-bomb. She's talking about a movie that is packed with stuff like that. I know kids see it, hear it, whatever...at school, in society, etc. Why would seeing a movie like that be a good choice for your kids? Why do they NEED to see it? What value does it provide? This is what confuses me.

Well, No kid NEEDS to see any movie. But as far as stupid movies that seem to serve no purpose? It's kind of a right of passage. Elementary kids will always laugh at bathroom humor and teens will always laugh at stupid movies that have no plot beyond the tasteless sexual jokes. There will always be the "Porky's" and the "American Pie" and the whatever else is out there. When I was a teen it was Kentucky Fried Movie. At this time I couldn't tell you anything beyond the plot besides I went with a bunch of friends and we laughed our butts off. While you don't NEED to see a movie like that, sometimes you NEED to just go out with friends and laugh yourself silly over something stupid. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[Tinkermommy]

I am not sure what this vent is about. Of course there should be adult movies. I am very anti-government censorship. Now I am all for parents deciding what will be good for their kids.

It shouldn't matter what the movie is rated or that John Doe got to see it, if you don't want your kids to see the movie, then don't let them see the movie.

There are always going to be movies with sex, violence, cursing, etc. and I for one like many of them. The Hangover made me and my husband laugh so hard we had to pause it and rewind because we missed several minutes of it!

 

[Hannathy]

No, I don't. Like I said, he's no angel. But I know his personality, and I know he is easily offended. I know he HEARS it, but I doubt he participates in the discussion. I could be wrong...but I seriously doubt it.

Please don't take it wrong I'm just saying I knew they did this kind of thing but even I was surprised when they told me how much and to what depth this stuff was talked about and laughed about and the kind of jokes that were being told in their group! (this was a group of kids who had been together in a charter school for the gifted, so they were with each other all day every day for 5 yrs) They shared some of these things after graduation and I was amazed. And they are all off to school now and some even to some to very religious schools.

It is the morals and ethics they are raised in and exposed to on a daily basis and what is expected from them at home and school that determines what kind of human being a kid becomes not what movie they see.

 

[mjkacmom]

Is it because your kids wear you down by asking to watch it because their friends are watching it? Or do you really find value in them seeing these movies? I just don't get it!

(Acklander, when I say "you" in this post, I don't mean YOU personally...I mean YOU in general...just wanted to clarify!)

I don't think everything has to have a value. My kids watch Spongebob - is there any value in that? No. My dd14 read the Twilight series. I found it to be horribly written, with weak characters, and a poor message. She loved the series. Any value? Nope. I watch Real Housewives of NJ. Pure trash. Entertaining? Absolutely. And dd14 doesn't wear me down, because she's watching the movies with her gf's (because she's way too cool to watch movies with us ).

It's funny - I'll see reviews from movies I LOVED when I was a teen, and they're horrible. Flashdance - 2 stars? Really? I loved that movie!

 

[MichelleVW]

My daughters friends went and saw 'Going the Distance.' When I looked that movie up, there was no way my 15 year old daughter was going to go to it! They have sex on the table! There is over 70 F-words!! There is nakedness, ************, jokes about rape!
How do I know this? Because I go to :
http://www.pluggedin.com/
and look up every movie my kids ask to see. And if I find it inappropriate, they don't go!!



.

Those websites crack me up! I just picture someone sitting there with a checklist making a mark every time someone cusses. "They said the F word, 54 times during this movie"

 

[Liberty Belle]

Because some parents feel that their kids can handle hearing the occasional bad word or sex scene and understand that their kids know the difference between what is happening on the screen and what is and isn't allowed in real life.

Honestly, I may not agree with people allowing their kids (and teens) to only see G rated movies, but I can understand WHY they might want to do that.Those parents have a different point of view than me, and that's OK. I don't see why it's so hard for for someone to understand a different point of view or assume that because a parent has a different point of view than them that they just don't care.

And I hope she means "just don't care" about what their child sees and not "just don't care" about their children or how they're raised.

 

[Liberty Belle]

No, I don't. Like I said, he's no angel. But I know his personality, and I know he is easily offended. I know he HEARS it, but I doubt he participates in the discussion. I could be wrong...but I seriously doubt it.

You might be surprised. I heard something my son said in middle school (there were witnesses - he was talking back to someone who was bullying him) that I never would have dreamed he even knew about, let alone would say such a thing. I can't even hint at it here, but it was very sexually graphic. That was not my son, AT ALL.

 

[C.Ann]

I'm with you 100% OP. I also love moves (see tons in theaters and on Netflix) and have been going as a family since my kids were toddlers, DS now 12 & DD now 11. I am also ridiculously disappointed with the garbage they throw up on a screen these days. Some movies would be fine for my kids if they would just lay off the F Bomb & nudity, so many times even by myself i just find myself shaking my head wondering , "Why?" I get it's useful for dramatic emphasis to to show a character's personality but come on there is a limit and then it's just foolish. Then there are the touchy feely scenes which are sometimes appropriate for the film, but most of the time they are just stuck in there because the directer seems to think every movie should have one. What is all that about? Are the cusses and nudity supposed to distract me from the fact there is no storyline, that the story is poorly told and written or just that the people in the film can't act? Some film is art, some of it is just artless... most of it is artless.

I hope someday the people who make movies would recognize a movie that could draw in a family of 4 with the parents deeper pockets than a date night couple would make more money for them, and make more films for us. if they would make better more appropriate stuff I would be at the theater once a week. I wish the ratings would tighten a little so I knew what I was getting myself into, at the moment the ratings are keeping me out of the theaters because it's all too unpredictable and for $50 I want predictable. Aren't the biggest grossing films the one's most of us can enjoy like Avatar, Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Carribean, Harry Potter, Star Wars ect?

FYI, I know my kids have already been exposed to this stuff but to me there is a huge difference between them seeing/talking about it with their friends and my giving it a 2 thumbs up & a nod by watching it with them. My DH and I use "Kids in mind" to help us wade through the muck but in the end, sitting on my sofa with my finger on the fast forward button is the best way to deal with it.

The industry could have my $50 but if i have to worry about what my kids will see & hear they are only going to get $1 out of my Netflix membership and that's all there is to it. I vote with my money.

The portion of your post that I bolded is how I feel about movies and books in general.. It does nothing to "enhance" the story - just makes the movie longer - or in the case of books, simply increases the word count to what the publisher requires.. If one has to "see" it; "hear" it; or "read" it in order to understand and/or enhance a scene, then it seems they are sorely lacking in the imagination department.. LOL..

And as for teens having sex for "years and years" - it's never been as common as it seems to be now (at least not back in my generation) and if in fact it has become the "norm", why is it necessary to watch someone else having sex? Obviously they already "know" how to do it..

As for the foul language? Oh yes - that is soooooo important to the story line.. Kids today see and hear enough as it is - I'm not sure what it is that they are supposed to be learning or enjoying while watching this stuff on the movie screen..

 

[npmommie]

Well you know you're OLD when you start complaining about the smutt and garbage they put in movies "these days".

when I find myself having these thoughts about smutty movies or songs, I think to myself, boy I am getting old......LOL

The Hangover made me and my husband laugh so hard we had to pause it and rewind because we missed several minutes of it!

LOL us too!

 

[Toad_Passenger]

I'm guessing schools still have "Growth & Development" classes, right? We had ours in 5th grade, so we were 11 or 12? The idea that kids aren't talking/joking about the stuff that shows up in these movies (especially at 15/16 years old) just seems crazy to me.

The American Pie movies, along with other teen comedies (Fast Times, Porky's, etc) are funny because they do represent the average teen. They show all of the awkwardness of growing into a "new" person, to having the freedoms that come with growing up (which include swearing, being obnoxious, etc.) They are all about learning.

I wouldn't say they are appropriate for 13/14 year olds, but by 15/16, when most of my friends and I started driving and becoming more independent, those movies did have a purpose...they showed us that we weren't abnormal.

ETA: The fact that movies with these subjects existed throughout the past few decades, also shows that teen sex is not a new issue. In our age of fast information, it just seems like we hear about it more often.

 

[bored]

I just can't grasp the excuse they hear it/talk about it at school so let them watch whatever they want. I don't use language or talk about filth like that nor does my wife or family. I know my daughter will hear it at school (I can't control that), but why in the world would you voluntarily allow them to be exposed to that crap as a child. I'm assuming you don't want you children speaking like/acting out some of the stuff they will see in this junk we call movies.

It's kinda like telling you kids don't smoke, but handing them a lighted cigarette. It just doesn't make sense.

 

[Albertan mom]

OK, point taken. But the OP isn't talking about a movie with an occasional sex scene or f-bomb. She's talking about a movie that is packed with stuff like that. I know kids see it, hear it, whatever...at school, in society, etc. Why would seeing a movie like that be a good choice for your kids? Why do they NEED to see it? What value does it provide? This is what confuses me.

My DS15 knows about sex, violence, drugs, profanity, etc. etc. etc. He's not sheltered and doesn't live in a bubble. He watches more than just G movies. However, we just don't see the value in his watching stuff like this. We know all that stuff is out there, but why do you need to be submerged in it constantly BY CHOICE? Is it because your kids wear you down by asking to watch it because their friends are watching it? Or do you really find value in them seeing these movies? I just don't get it!
)

Yes, this is how I feel. And do these things happen in real life? Porkys? Really? I don't think so. It is just scary how Hollywood is making it seem ok to meet a person, sleep with them, and thats it. Over and over again. One night stands are seeming normal in the movies. So kids are doing it and regretting it. That is one thing you cannot get back.

Having the F-word 70 times in a 102 minute movie! So every minute and a half? What is the point? You can maybe imagine it being in a few times, when you slam your finger in a door, or fall, or something is being yelled. But just randomly swearing over and over again??!

My dd knows I have high standards for her and her little brother. We talk about it. Is she in a bubble? Maybe a bit. But I don't feel bad about that at all. And she doesnt feel she is missing out. She is not begging me to watch them. She thinks they are stupid and mindless and useless.

All her friends watched Hot Rod when they were in grade 6 or so. She asked me to watch it, I said no. Then she watched it in grade 9. She says to me, "That movie is what they kept quoting all these years? It was stupid and pointless, and a waste of 2 hours. I can't believe they thought it was good."
This has happened a few times.

 

[Planogirl]

My philosophy is that I don't condone the language and activity but it's possible to be exposed to things that are inappropriate without ever picking up those behaviors. DS (17) has been watching what I call "stupid comedies" for a few years now and it doesn't seem to be affecting him in a bad way.

 

[mjkacmom]

Yes, this is how I feel. And do these things happen in real life? Porkys? Really? .

Porky's is almost 20 years old, and yet people are acting like sex and foul language are a new trend, causing the downfall of today's children! Gee, how on earth did I survive watching trashy movies in the 80's, not sleep around or do drugs, and become a productive member of society?!

 

[Toad_Passenger]

Yes, this is how I feel. And do these things happen in real life? Porkys? Really? I don't think so.

Actually the boys' quest to sneak a peek in the girls shower is EXACTLY the type of thing teen boys joke about. Some are even bold enough to try it, too. When I was a teenager we always tried to sneak our way over to where the girls were having a sleepover, or something like that. Teenage shenanigans.

People seem to think we're headed down some strange pathway to destruction these days. My grandfather and my Dad have told me stories about things they did as teenagers in the 1940's and in the 1960's. They are no different than what young boys and girls are doing today.

 

[Pakey]

Porky's is almost 20 years old, and yet people are acting like sex and foul language are a new trend, causing the downfall of today's children! Gee, how on earth did I survive watching trashy movies in the 80's, not sleep around or do drugs, and become a productive member of society?!

Porky's is almost 30 years old, came out in '82.

My children are grown but I remember my husband and the boys choking with laughter while watching this movie on video when the boys were teenagers.

I have more problems seeing young children at movies rated R for violence than those getting the ratings for language and nudity.