kids and commitments

[damo]

Here's a little story about what has happened. It bugs me and I'm wondering if I am over-reacting.

DS, 14, belongs to a roller hockey team that has 8 players and a goalie. This team comes together each year for a few months, the rest of the time they play ice hockey, but not together. This year our championships will be in Rochester in July.

Three of the boys, including the coach's son, decided to try out for the provincial team. However, the provincial camp is at the same time as the championships so few kids tried out. These kids made it, and two (including the coach's son) are now going to skip the championships and go with the provincial team instead. This leaves our team with six skaters for our finals. The coach says he will find someone else, but I don't know who wants to go spend $1000 on an out-of-town tournament to play with us and frankly, it won't be our team that is participating now.

I don't think they should have joined this team. Coach says it was a good opportunity for them, but realistically, the field wasn't very strong to choose from since few kids tried out. I think that they made a commitment to our team and they should stick with it. The championships won't be the same with a quarter of the team gone. I think the rest of the team might feel that they are being dumped on since everyone else made the commitment and they are sticking to it.

Any opinions? I am the manager of the team and I've told the coach my opinion. The other parents don't know yet.

 

[dianeschlicht]

I definately agree with you. Letting them "jump ship" at this point send them the wrong life message.

 

[Serena]

I agree with you.

 

[tiggerlover]

I have to agree with Diane, I think the message these kids will take away from this is not a very good life lesson. Of course the coach will support this because his son is one of the defectors, but I think what he is actually teaching his son is to abandon his commitments if something better comes along. So to answer your question, no I don't think you are overreacting, I would be pretty upset if I were in your shoes.

 

[sharbear]

I see this happening all the time and it drives me crazy. My DS has a friend like this. His parents never make him honor a commitment so he does what he wants when he wants to. My kids know that if they make a commitment they will follow up on it. And if they are on a team (be it sports or a band or an academic team) they will practice and show up and work. I can't stand it when you make a commitment and then put no effort into it.

 

[d.kurz]

This sort of thing really annoys me. DD14 plays on a softball team that is just a "shirt" league; everyone who joins is on the team. She just enjoys playing, she is not wildly talented. She will never make the "travel" team. Lots of girls on this team (ages14-17) ARE talented and are on school teams, and travel teams. In fact the travel kids are required to play at least 4 games at the shirt level to qualify for travel. There have been 2 games they had to forfiet because not enough girls showed up. One game no pitchers showed up and they lost that one 26-0. Coach has stopped having practices since he's lucky to get my DD and his DD show up. Bottom line is, these games are the lowest priority for these girls AND their parents. DD has been soooo disappointed to go to a game and not be able to play because of a forfiet. I have begged her not to play next year because this makes me sooooooooo angry!!

So, yes, I TOTALLY feel the same way you do!