Kids and Cell Phones

[WDWfor5]

My DD is also 6 (actually almost 7 - she reminds me often ). She is also like the OP's daughter in the gifted program, accelerated for most subjects (4th grade reading, 3rd grade math, etc) BUT she will not get a phone until she's at least in middle school. As for activities, she's in everything - Brownies, piano lessons, the sport of the season, etc. She is also never away from a parent or very trusted adult (teacher, close friend, etc).

I would never think to leave her on a sports field alone unless a good friend was wathcing her for me and then they wou;ld have a cell phone and could call me or DH. One of the harder lessons of raising a gifted child is knowing that they may be advanced intellectually but they are still children. I can't imagine a single instance that my very active daughter would have any time she could benefit from a cell phone.

Am I calling the OP a "horrible mother"? Certainly not!!! But the question was asked is a cell phone appropriate for a 6 year old. The answer to me is NO - I'd hate to think that her having one would make me think it was okay to leave her alone for any reason w/o a trusted adult.

JMHO

 

[momx2]

My DD is also 6 (actually almost 7 - she reminds me often ). She is also like the OP's daughter in the gifted program, accelerated for most subjects (4th grade reading, 3rd grade math, etc) BUT she will not get a phone until she's at least in middle school. As for activities, she's in everything - Brownies, piano lessons, the sport of the season, etc. She is also never away from a parent or very trusted adult (teacher, close friend, etc).

I would never think to leave her on a sports field alone unless a good friend was wathcing her for me and then they wou;ld have a cell phone and could call me or DH. One of the harder lessons of raising a gifted child is knowing that they may be advanced intellectually but they are still children. I can't imagine a single instance that my very active daughter would have any time she could benefit from a cell phone.

Am I calling the OP a "horrible mother"? Certainly not!!! But the question was asked is a cell phone appropriate for a 6 year old. The answer to me is NO - I'd hate to think that her having one would make me think it was okay to leave her alone for any reason w/o a trusted adult.

JMHO

I couldn't have (and didn't in my previous post) said it better.

 

[Stacerita]

IMO, 6 years old is way to young to have a cell phone. Especially for the reasons the OP listed. I did get the sweetpea a cell phone this past spring (the sweetpea just turned 10). And although the sweetpea is very active in softball/baseball, girl scouts and a few other things, that was not the reason I got her the phone (btw, it was free to add it). The sweetpea spends a lot of time with nana (her great grandmother) and nana refuses to carry a cell for herself. Nana is old school and thinks its silly for people to have cell phones. So she wouldn't get one even if she needed it. It was a safety issue. I wanted to make sure that no matter what, the sweetpea would always be able to reach me. And I could reach them. There are stict rules to the phone and not one has been broken. The sweetpea having a cell phone has worked out great for us.

 

[MrsPete]

I don't think a 6 yr old should be left in any situation where she would need a cellphone. It does not make a kid any safer to have a cell phone.

Well said. If you want your 6-year old to have a phone, fine, but don't assume that it's going to be a safety factor.

At one point in 1st grade, two other mom's picked her up at times - and 2x they almost forgot her, as they switched days. My thought was if she had the cell phone, she could call and not have to find a teacher to go to the office, to call me.

At my daughters' elementary school, ALL car-rider kids are kept in one area and are supervised by teachers until the last one's picked up; someone's usually really, really late, and those kids are taken into the office. There'd never be a need to "find a teacher". I thought all schools were this careful; it'd only take one little slip up . . .

 

[MrsPete]

Of course like I said there isn't a lot of evidence to support health risks associated with cell phone use however I wouldn't personally want my child to be the guinea pig for that study. Just a thought.

If the child is using the phone hour upon hour every day, then there might be a risk. But if the phone's being used for a few short calls, I don't see any problem.

 

[MrsPete]

Why shouldn't my daughter have the benefit of technology? If she's being followed by a suspicious car on the way home from school, I want her to be able to call 911.

In today's world, I don't think a child should be coming home alone. By the time she could dig the phone out of her bookbag, turn it on and dial the number, a motivated stranger could have forced her into a car and tossed the whole bookbag into the bushes.

This goes along with my main point: cell phones are convenient, but they do not make children safer. Older kids, yes. Girls who go on a date and decide they want to abandon ship halfway through, new drivers who run out of gas (or worse), kids who're old enough go to the mall with friends . . . yes, these kids may be safer because they're carrying cell phones. But 6-year olds should be supervised constantly regardless of whether they have cell phones or not.

Thinking that a cell phone will keep a 6-year old safe is kind of like giving a non-swimmer a life preserver and saying, "Head down to the local pool -- I don't care that there's no lifeguard." Sure, the life preserver is capable of providing help, but does the child have the life skills to use it properly and to avoid dangers?

If you want her to have this really cool toy, great. But continue to provide just as much supervision as you always have.

 

[Panthra529]

For the record DD has been using our homephone for years now....She calls her grandparents everynight....she is more advanced than most kids her age....not only has she skipped a grade but she is in an advanced class. I like knowing that if she goes somewhere with friends or rides somewhere with someone besides us she can get in touch with us. and I can program up to 20 #s in there for her to call. she goes to a private school where they ARE allowed to bring their phones. I do drop her off at gymnastics it gives me time to run to the store. Sorry all of you think im such a horrible mother

I had a hard time getting DD 13 and DS 11 a cell phone 2 years ago. The only reason DH and I got them one was because when they were out with their mother (2+2=they are my stepchildren), she would never answer her cell phone. There were many an argument about p/u places and times and other things because DH's ex isn't that bright or cooperative. So we put a stop to it by being able to stay in contact with them via their own cell phone.

I don't think you are a terrible parent, and from your posts, it is obvious you are very concerned about your DD. However, I can't imagine buying DD4 a cell phone in 2 years time. She also is very advanced, goes to gymnastics and dance. I do run errands when she is in class as well. But, I always tell the office staff where I am and how to reach me if needed. I would assume that you only leave your daughter unattended when she is in the care of another adult, or at one of her activities. I would also assume that these adults/places have phones that if need be, she could use. So, in my opinion, I do think 6yo is way to young for a cell phone.

BTW, as I am sure you know, kids don't see cell phones as practical or a life line (in the sense a parent would call a life line). God forbid you take their cell away from them, they might die! They see them as a need and stigma that makes them cool. They can actually be a PIA too! Calls/texts coming in at 1am! Hence the rule in our house...phones OFF and on the kitchen counter at 10pm! I am afraid even a 6yo would fall in to seeing a cell phone in a stigmatic kind of way.

 

[surfgirl]

My 2 cents... I think the OP was looking for some justification or "look, all these people have done it". When that didn't occur, I think she became defensive.

No one called you a terrible/horrible parent (I can't remember which one?). An opinion was asked for and many thoughtful responses were given including a yes/no and why or why not (obviously mostly why not, in this case). They may disagree with you, but that's ok.

For me, the bottom line is: Trust your parenting instincts (that's the best advice my pediatricin (sp?) ever gave me). If you think you're a good parent, then I'm sure you are! If you will be able to sleep easier at night knowing that your DD has a cell, then go for it. I think many, however, have expressed concern that you shouldn't change your behavior and do less supervision just because she has a cell phone (what if its a day circuits are overloaded? battery not charged? she's in an emergency and panics? out of cell range?). As an emergency tool, its a last backup.

Good luck! (oh yeah, YMMV...)

 

[makinorlando]

Well said. If you want your 6-year old to have a phone, fine, but don't assume that it's going to be a safety factor.

At my daughters' elementary school, ALL car-rider kids are kept in one area and are supervised by teachers until the last one's picked up; someone's usually really, really late, and those kids are taken into the office. There'd never be a need to "find a teacher". I thought all schools were this careful; it'd only take one little slip up . . .

Yes the kids are all kept in one spot, but the teachers there are busy loading the kids into the cars. By the time they would have been able to take my DD to the office to call me, I would have been wondering what happened to her, as we are very close to the school, and usually home within only a couple minutes of dismissal.

It is a peace of mind thing for me - no my DD is never left alone, nor at that time did she ride her bike home alone (alone being with the other 20 or so kids that ride or walk in the same direction at the same time)- but it does make me feel good to know she has it if she ever needs it. If I was ever later than expected (I am normally near the front of the line) and she was anxious as to my whereabouts.... she can call me as well. We are all each other has, and and I want to make sure that in any situation that I am only a button away.

As I mentioned before, it gives her a way to call he out of town relatives as well. No minutes/no LD as we are all on the same carrier. I spend $10/mo on lots of things less useful, so I don't feel like it's a waste of money.

I'm one of those folks who loves technology, and many times my land line (home and business) are forwarded to may cell phone, I just like the convenience, so maybe I am just introducing her to technology early!!!!

This is one of those things that you are either for or against, and each individual situation is different.... not a barometer of parenting!!!

 

[memymomonica]

Ok, I guess I am really not on the Mother Of The Year list. I just gave my daughter her Firefly for her 8th birthday. She is usually with me, but she is also very active. She is in a dance class for 2 1/2 hours every Monday. Parents are not allowed to watch the class. So I take the opportunity to run errands. I am always early to pick her up, but just in case I am ever stuck in traffic. She also like the ability to talk to her grandparents or her uncle when she wants. I want her to feel that she can talk to any of them whenever she wants. She can use the house phone too.

I know there are many who think that it is crazy. I thought about when I was a kid spending the night at a friend's house, feeling uncomfortable about something, and then having to awkwardly ask to use the phone to call home. My mother and I had a code and she would make up an excuse to have to come get me. Now my daughter can pick up the phone whenever her "gut" talks to her. She is only with family and friends, but in this world, you never know. How many times do you here the parents after some tragedy say "I never thought it would happen". I know a cell phone will not save my daughter. But I am a true believer that communication is never a bad thing.

What happens if she is with your best friend and she becomes unable to call for help herself? My child would be able to make the call without having to figure out an unfamiliar cell phone.

I thought the purchase through and there were more plusses than minusses. I say get a phone for your daughter, teach her to use it, be responsible and breathe a little easier knowing that she can get you whenever she needs.

 

[flipturngirl]

i personally do not think that a 6 year old needs a cell phone. Why would you want them to have, a kid could steal it from her. And anyway why are you leaving her at her gymnastics class and stuff. She needs supervision and anyway she could carry 2 quarters, most teachers have phones and what is a sittuation she will get in that she needs a phone. i think that it is strange seeing kids under 10 carrying or talking on a cell phone of there own. It is just a set up for later in life for people to take advantage of them.

 

[memymomonica]

I guess I don't see how talking on a cell phone sets you up for people to take advantage of you. Child or adult, there is no link.

I prefer to have my child using and understanding technology. I can teach her proper phone manners for the cell phone and home phone. Something most adults have forgotten.

 

[Marimar]

In today's world, I don't think a child should be coming home alone. By the time she could dig the phone out of her bookbag, turn it on and dial the number, a motivated stranger could have forced her into a car and tossed the whole bookbag into the bushes.

This goes along with my main point: cell phones are convenient, but they do not make children safer. Older kids, yes. Girls who go on a date and decide they want to abandon ship halfway through, new drivers who run out of gas (or worse), kids who're old enough go to the mall with friends . . . yes, these kids may be safer because they're carrying cell phones. But 6-year olds should be supervised constantly regardless of whether they have cell phones or not.

Thinking that a cell phone will keep a 6-year old safe is kind of like giving a non-swimmer a life preserver and saying, "Head down to the local pool -- I don't care that there's no lifeguard." Sure, the life preserver is capable of providing help, but does the child have the life skills to use it properly and to avoid dangers?

If you want her to have this really cool toy, great. But continue to provide just as much supervision as you always have.

Very well said!

 

[ElementGirl]

I got mine for my 12th b-day im 12 now lol.Anyway i got bc my friend and i were always going to parks and the mall.My friend had phones and i didnt so they decided to get me one.I got the Nokia 3220

 

[alisonbestford]

It would be lovely to think that our children will always be safe and secure, with the supervision of another adult, but unfortunately life can throw a miriad of unexpected situations our way

Only last week a single mum fell out of the attic (roof space in some of our older terraced houses) whilst trying to hide her children's Christmas presents. She died and the 6 year old fed the 2 and 4 year old cereal for 2 days until a door step caller came and she told them mummy couldn't come to the door as she was dead!
Only yesterday a 6 year old was abducted from her bath, whilst her mother was in the room next door fetching towels, when a stranger walked into their ground floor flat. She was found only 15 mins later, unharmed, but didn't have a clue who had taken her-so it wasn't someone who normally called at the house!

Okay, these are extremes but proof that the unexpected happens!
A cell phone obviously wouldn't have helped the child in the bath but it could have helped the children whose mother unfortunately died

My DD (7) doesn't have a cell phone but does know how to call the emergency services if her dad is unwell and I've had to nip to the shops or something
Having said that, maybe I should get her some sort of 'kiddie' phone as they do go out on their own together occasionally

Every family, and personal situation. is different.
I say, if you feel you would all benefit from your child having a cell phone, even if just for peace of mind and it never gets used, go for it

 

[pixiedust23]

Only last week a single mum fell out of the attic (roof space in some of our older terraced houses) whilst trying to hide her children's Christmas presents. She died and the 6 year old fed the 2 and 4 year old cereal for 2 days until a door step caller came and she told them mummy couldn't come to the door as she was dead!

I dont at all see how a cell phone would help here. If the 6 year old knows how to work a cell phone they would also know how to work the land line. An emergency contact should always be on speed dial for children. Do they not have 911 in the UK? Children here are taught to dial 911 in any time of emergency situation at an extremely young age. When I was 4 and my brother was 6 my mom fell down the stairs. We were able to get help without the use of a cell phone.

 

[alisonbestford]

I dont at all see how a cell phone would help here. If the 6 year old knows how to work a cell phone they would also know how to work the land line. An emergency contact should always be on speed dial for children. Do they not have 911 in the UK? Children here are taught to dial 911 in any time of emergency situation at an extremely young age. When I was 4 and my brother was 6 my mom fell down the stairs. We were able to get help without the use of a cell phone.

Quite a few people no longer keep a land line, here in the UK, and rely on their mobile phones to cut landline and call costs etc.
We are lucky enough to have both a landline and a mobile (but DD would have no idea how to use my mobile) and the emergency number is 999 but, as I say, not everyone has a landline.
Obviously I have no idea whether the family, in question, had one and, as I said in my post, every family's situation is unique, but maybe a mobile could have helped - who knows?
Except the people concerned?

 

[Laurajean1014]

My son is 10 and very mature for his age.

However, he will get a cell phone when he is 14 or so.

We feel he will be responsible at that age and social active enough to justify one.

 

[Laurajean1014]

In today's world, I don't think a child should be coming home alone. By the time she could dig the phone out of her bookbag, turn it on and dial the number, a motivated stranger could have forced her into a car and tossed the whole bookbag into the bushes.

This goes along with my main point: cell phones are convenient, but they do not make children safer. Older kids, yes. Girls who go on a date and decide they want to abandon ship halfway through, new drivers who run out of gas (or worse), kids who're old enough go to the mall with friends . . . yes, these kids may be safer because they're carrying cell phones. But 6-year olds should be supervised constantly regardless of whether they have cell phones or not.

Thinking that a cell phone will keep a 6-year old safe is kind of like giving a non-swimmer a life preserver and saying, "Head down to the local pool -- I don't care that there's no lifeguard." Sure, the life preserver is capable of providing help, but does the child have the life skills to use it properly and to avoid dangers?

If you want her to have this really cool toy, great. But continue to provide just as much supervision as you always have.

Well said. Thank you.

 

[beattyfamily]

I think 6 is way too young. I was thinking maybe 14 - 16 years old AND it will ONLY be for emergencies. I LOVE the idea of the LG Migo-type phone from
Verizon where they can only program 4 phone numbers which mom and dad would program.

I just can't fathom why a 6 - 10 year old would need a phone but that's just me.