Kids and Bed Times

[vcgirl925]

During the school year my kids go to bed between 8 - 9 pm. But on summer nights i'm not particular about it. If there is a party or a family get together somewhere i don't mind keeping them up. We just had a festival night here in our neighborhood and they were up waiting for fireworks until 9:30 and then went to bed around 11.

 

[imthatgirl]

during the school year its 7:30, no exceptions.

during summer vacation, it would depend in what we were doing or had done that day. if we had company over i dont see why it would be a big deal for them to be up at 9:30.

my kids are 2,4 and 8.

when we go to disney, they could possibly be out until 2am.

 

[nonzerosum]

My kids are 27 months and just turned 5. They both have heads on pillows every night at 7 pm and wake up at 6 am. My 27 mo naps for 2 hours a day (1:30-3:30). Regardless of when they go to bed, they ALWAYS wake up at 6 am give or take 10 minutes. Because of this I put them to bed early because they each have their own set of difficulties if they don't get enough sleep--my 5 year daughter old acts like a very negative and sullen teenager and my 2 year old son is wild and out of control, can't stay focussed on a task, and is very clumsy. I prioritize sleep because it's so important for developmental issues. Sometimes my 5 year old complains of being tired at around 5 pm so we give her an early and fast supper and off to bed by 6 pm and she'll still sleep until 6 am!! Once she even fell asleep at 5:30 pm and sleep all night. We have a pretty quiet routine, just daily preschool without extra activities so early bedtime is easy for us. On the other hand, early bedtime and our kids need for lots of sleep is one of the reasons why we don't have after school activities, I just don't know how we'd have time. My friend's daughter is one of the crankiest 6 year olds I know and she gets very little sleep for a kid her age because she's so over scheduled. Sometimes I feel like telling my friend to forget about ballet, jazz, tap, gymnastics, piano and soccer and just put her cranky kid to bed. I've read lots of great books on sleep- adult, kids and babies- and they all say the same thing....life won't be pleasant if you don't get enough, and to get enough you have to sacrifice other things. We RARELY leave our house after 5 pm so that we can eat, play, bath, read before bed. Sometimes I think this is kinda sad because we aren't a family who goes for after dinner bike rides etc.., but the alternative of sleep deprived kids is too ugly. I really wish they'd sleep past 6 am, but it just doesn't happen. I've enjoyed reading what others have said and will read the rest now.

 

[brymolmom]

In my own opinion, more important than the time on the clock is having a parent-determined-most-of-the-time bed time - as in, it is time to go to bed - let's do the routine (or if they're older - go get your PJ's on and you may read for 15 minutes or whatever). I'm really not a fan of the 'they go to bed whenever they feel like it' thing because I have seen many instances where this has caused significant issues later - like when they're struggling in school and STILL won't get enough sleep. I love that I can have friends over and sit and have a glass of wine with them after the kids go to bed (even if the older one isn't asleep yet, he's in bed resting). I have many friends who we will get a sitter to go over there later to do some 'adult' time, and the kids just pop out of bed until whenever they desire and then you have over-tired and cranky kids on the parents' laps...very tough to get adult time. Obviously, in summertime many parents may choose to allow their kids up later or for special occassions or whatever. It is when they are not choosing but just think 'they won't go to bed' that it gets to me. I get a lot of comments on how my kids go to bed without struggle (98% of the time at least) and how they would 'love it' if their kids did that....ummm...you are the parent - if you want it then do it.

 

[MrsR]

My 3 yr old twin girls are night owls like me, and usually go to bed at 10 or so but if they have a nap, let's say on the way home in the car, they can stay up till midnight (not that i like it!).

 

[mommyof2princesses]

It's nice to see that we are not the only parents who make their kids go to bed at what we consider a reasonable time! DD 4 is in bed around 8. sometimes it is 8:30, but we aim for 8. During the school year it is never after 8 on a school night. We homeschool and we do get up early to start school since I do work part time. DD13 is up to 10pm. Unfortunately, she has a hard time falling asleep. usually not till almost midnight, but she is in bed resting. I try not to get her up to early, but duing the school year she needs to be up by 8 the latest.

Now, we have neighbors whose 4 year olds are up to at least 10. Once of the families their kids wake up whenever. The other family has to be up and out by 7:30. although, he still takes naps at daycare for almost 2 hours!

 

[ansaye2000]

My kids almost 5 & almost 3 go to bed around 9:30 everynight, sometimes 10:00. However, they don't wake up until 8:30 or 9:00.

 

[dementia412]

We once lived in an apartment complex where children of all ages were up at 2-3 am, running around outside, people bbq'ing, music... it was insane.

My kids who are 9, 7 and 5 normally go to bed at 8:30, but during the summer we let them stay up, sometimes as late as 11:00. We are considering letting the 9 year old stay up till 9 when school starts, but I'm not sure yet. One of her favorite shows doesn't come on until 9 so we often let her stay up that one night a week. (Its House btw, she loves that show)

 

[SunKat]

During the school year, my eleven year old goes to bed at 9pm as she has to be up at 6:00am. During the summer, she usually goes to bed around 11pm and wakes up at 8 or 9am.

 

[Ariel3214]

If I'm still up at midnight, why should I expect my daughter to go to bed at 8PM? We'll both be up before 7AM the next morning and run all day without getting tired!

 

[dougsmom98]

My 3 year old is usually in bed between 7-8, but with older brothers and all of their sporting events sometimes it is later. My boys have a 9 pm bedtime during the school year 10 on the weekend and summer. Sometimes they fall asleep before then, but that is the latest I will let them stay up.

 

[Aliceacc]

If I'm still up at midnight, why should I expect my daughter to go to bed at 8PM? We'll both be up before 7AM the next morning and run all day without getting tired!

I think it depends on how old your daughter is.

Young kids tend to need more sleep than adults. I know my 2 girls would have a brutal day if they had been up until midnight then up at 7AM.

 

[hmacmahony]

I have 4 kids, 6, 5 and 3, and a 1 year old. The one year old is about 6:30, the 3 year old is not far after that. The older two during the school year is no later than 7:30, and usually they all go down at the same time. By seven.

Now, lucky for us, we have kids, that sleep 12 hours at night (even the baby now), and it does not matter what 12 hours, they just sleep a solid 12 hours.
So, during the summer, my kids go to bed probably around dark (nine), the baby earlier. But, they all sleep until 9.
If we are on vacation, and they are up until 11 at night, they will sleep until 11 in the morning, sometimes it is just a solid 10 hours. (but usually the 12) Even the baby.
We just spent a week in cleveland, and lancaster. We were not even waking up until 11 in the morning, pretty much every morning. I don't stress so much during the summer, and vacations, those are fun times, they go to bed when we get there. They are not crabby, and don't whine. We had a ball closing the pool for a week straight at 11 while on vacation!

 

[RMulieri]

My dd is 4 1/2. She is in bed by 730pm every night.i let her 'read" quietly till 800pm and then lights out.She does not nap, and is up at 530am every morning whether she stays up late or not.The difference is if she stays up late, she is a nightmare the next day.

 

[JamesMom]

My 3 yo goes to bed at 7 and wakes at 7.
My 5 yo goes to bed at 8 and wakes at 7. Neither Naps.

Now whether they sleep is up to them. They have books and toys and such to look at in their rooms if they aren't ready for shut eye. But the rule is to stay in your room unless you need to use the toilet or some privelege will be taken away.

Mom and Dad need their quiet time and we demand and expect it each and every night. We actually forgo some family events to keep this schedule. We even plan date -day's instead of date night i.e., movie and lunch instead of dinner. Its a sacrafice but it is wonderful to know that we have ~3 kid free hours before we hit the hay ourselves. Rarely we may stay at our inlaws late and come home at 8 or 9, but they are usually crashed in the car on the way home - this is like 2-3 times a year (for example, Christmas)

We have a neighbor whose 4yo is up till 10pm, we see him playing outside - perish the thought!!!

 

[HLDisney]

My DD6 falls in the night owl category, too. I adopted her when she was 11 months old and she's now 6 1/2 years old.....and I can probably count on one hand the number of days that she's fallen asleep before 9pm in the past 5 1/2 years. It doesn't matter what time she goes to bed, she just doesn't fall asleep until around 10pm. If she's in bed by 9pm, she'll be awake, chatting, rolling around, getting on and off the bed for about an hour. If I put her to bed around 9:45-10pm, then she'll fall asleep within about 15 minutes. The one time she happened to fall asleep at 7:30pm (when she was in pre-K and getting used to no more naps in school), she was awake at 4am, ready for the new day (mommy was not ready!!!). Admittedly, I do need to wake her up for school in the morning (she needs to get up around 7:15am) but even if I let her sleep in on weekends, she's awake by around 8am.

Helen

 

[perkinsrose]

Not sure i agree with that.

If my kids are up late for family gathering or something, they typically wake at their normal getting up time anyway--and irritable the next day. I don't think they're getting sleep they need if they're cranky.

I've read articles/studies about what some people term the "terrible twos" possibly being due to consistently not getting enough sleep. Will try to find link and post it.

Also, if following "they get what sleep they need" idea, if you have to wake them up in the morning for school/day--they're not getting enough sleep.

If i start noticing kids are waking up later, i adjust their bedtime a bit earlier.

Not the ones i remembered, but here's a few i found with alot of info:


http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/203093/how_to_tell_if_your_toddler_is_getting.html



http://www.sleepforkids.org/html/uskids.html

 

[GoofyG]

My kids wake up around 6:30 or 7 NO MATTER what time they went to bed. So it's 7:30 for my girls, the 4yr old starts all day pre-k this yr so i'm sticking with my guns on the bed time. They can stay up late if it's a special time, but school night NO WAY! Disney they do really good with, we don't make a 7:30 bed time, but they through in a nap that they aren't use too. My 10wk old already has a bed time, 10:00 for him, and up at 6:30. My inlaws complain because we don't stay late, but they're not the ones dealing with my kids the next morning.

I know my cousin lets her 2yr old stay up till midnight sometimes. His dad stays home with him, and likes that he will sleep in.

 

[perkinsrose]

I think it depends on how old your daughter is.

Young kids tend to need more sleep than adults. I know my 2 girls would have a brutal day if they had been up until midnight then up at 7AM.

And teens too!
After the baby/toddler/preschool years of often 12 plus hours /day,
they need less in the tween "middle years" and then the need for sleep increases greatly again during adolescence.

All kids (babies, preschoolers, school age & teens) physiologically NEED more sleep than typical adults.

 

[JVL1018]

My kids have never gone to bed before 8, never-not to say I wouldn't love some days for them to be in bed at 7:30, but they can't go to bed that early, so we roll with it and make it work for us..

I have never been a slave to the schedule-they don't get cranky if they stay up late, in fact, we took the kids to their first concert on Sunday and they were up and dancing until midnight. They fell asleep in the car on the way home, but other than that they were fine.

DD has dance until 8 on Wed. during the schoolyear. We have dinner with my brother and SIL every Tuesday and we usually get home from their house(or they leave here)around 8:30, 9pm.
So having kids who need less sleep and like to be up at night actually works out better for us.
I do not take them out to B&N or anything at 10pm though.


In the summer they go to bed around 9:30. They are 6 and 8.
They never go to sleep before 10.

During the school year, it's much the same, except I try to get them in bed by 8:45 and they can read for 30 minutes. But again they are often still awake past 10. I can;t force them to go to sleep, I just make them go in their rooms and keep their lights out and hope they sleep.

The kids get up around 8 year round, so they are getting enough sleep.