Kids and Bed Times

[kinntj]

My kids 4 and 6 have been going to bed between 9 and 10 during the summer. I'd say it averages to be about 9:30 most nights.

During the school year it's 8:30 the latest, but I try to get them to bed at 8, so I can get my 1st grader out the door for the bus at 7:50 pick up.

The first weeks for any child going from 1/2 day K into full day 1st grade will be an adjustment period. We'll adjust the sleeping schedule when it's needed.

 

[marcyinPA]

My boys are 9 and 13. In the summer, they go to bed by 10pm, unless we are at a party or something like that. During school, they are both in bed at 8:30, lights out at 9 pm. They can read for that 1/2 hour. Most times, my 13 year old will just go to sleep right at 8:30. He's one who requires his sleep, and LOVES to sleep! He's up every morning at 6:15 to get ready for school.

I have a friend who's got her kids all screwed up on their sleep schedule. Her kids are 12, 8 and almost 2. They take naps in the evening until 8pm sometimes. Then they eat dinner, and they are up until the wee hours of the morning. I have no idea how they function when school is in session...I hope they go to bed at a more respectable hour!!

 

[newtowdw1]

To the OP: when my kids were your kids' ages, I did the same. When I had them I knew that I'd have to make sacrifices so that they could be healthy physically and emotionally. So we put their needs ahead of ours. People used to say we were mean, crazy, strict, controlling, blahblahblah. BUT, my kids, when awake, were generally not tantruming and whining. They were cheerful and pleasant. Besides, at night, in the summer, when it's dark, I want to have an adult conversation at a party. Not watch my two year old trying to navigate the porch steps for the 100th time in the dark!

We're pretty flexible NOW about sleep, but when they were little I was pretty strict. My kids are very good unless they're tired. In fact, I've always said that if you can't behave you must be tired. GO TO BED!!

As a teacher, I've seen the effects of liberal bed times. In fact, DS's first grade teacher said she wished MORE parents would keep their kids home when they're too tired to function. We sometimes plan in a rest day for DS.

There's a LOT of research about how sleep effects children, and how much sleep kids need. http://www.newswise.com/articles/view/522402/?sc=rsmn

For a good night’s rest, the National Sleep Foundation recommends children in elementary school sleep between 10 and 12 hours each night, and for teens to get about 8 1⁄2 to 9 hours of sleep.


However, Hoban says, the sleep children and teens actually get each night fall short of those recommendations, and many suffer from chronic sleep deprivation. And that lack of sleep is not only preventing them from being alert and ready to learn at school, but also from leading a healthy life.

“A good night's sleep is important to a child's health and safety,” notes Hoban. “Children and teens who are dealing with chronic sleep deprivation have difficulty learning and paying attention in school, and some research also suggests they’re more likely to be overweight.”

 

[miksilver]

My DD (3) is a night owl as well. Before I had her I would be one of those people who would look at all of the little kids staying up late at night and would scowl a little bit. Boy -- did I have a big awakening when my DD was born! Our family travels a lot and I learned early on that flexiblity was the key to our happiness.

With that being said I can put my DD in bed anywhere from 8-8:30pm and she will "la la", sing, and talk to herself until she falls alseep anywhere from 1/2 hr. to 1 1/2 hours later. She won't get out of bed...she's just not ready to go to sleep yet. On the flip side of that, she will sleep in if she has stayed up late. This morning she slept til 10am! Also, if I know that we are going to stay up late (like a EMH night at WDW) I make sure she has a good nap before hand. We have more of a go-with-the-flow sleeping style, but I always make sure that she gets the rest and sleep she needs. It works for us!

 

[DisneyCrazyX5]

We aim for 10 hours of sleep for the boys they are 8,8 and 12. So in the summer they go to bed at 10, except when the farm chore keep us up later - it is baling time her. But the then they sleep till 9 the next day. School year they go to bed 9-9:30. If they are ready for bed at 9 they can read until 9:30 if they are messing around and running lat no reading in bed. The 12 year old will get up around 6:45 this fall the the youngers one can sleep until 7:30.

 

[mlraabe]

It is interesting to read the replies and look at the ages of children. I think once you have older kids - even if you still have some younger things will change. For us, during the school year everyone is usually upstairs by 8. The older two read for sometimes over an hour before going to bed. In the summer we do not have a set time unless we have things going on the next day. This week the two oldest will be going to a science day camp and have to be there early so they will go to bed earlier than they have been. I am guilty of being the parent whose kids are outside until late. My kids love to run around at night - catching lighening bugs, playing tag, sitting around the fire ring. Most of our friends are the same way and we get together often on summer nights. Of course, most of them also stopped with their second (we all had our first two kids at the same time!) and we kept going. So, we do have younger kids who stay up late in the summer. But they sleep in, also.

I am a teacher, so during the school year we are pretty strict about bed - I need my sleep too! Even that has to change sometimes when you have more than 2 a couple years apart. Soccer games, dance activities, chorus and band concerts have started to keep us out a little later during the school year.

sorry I rambled!

 

[dani blaski]

This is great--timely considering mine just went down for his nap about 45 mins ago. but did not fall sleep until about 15 mins later. And today is went down later than usual--he just had tons of energy and wanted to play! We work very hard to keep him on a routine--he does much better that way and we avoid meltdowns overall. Not to say that they don't happen, even with no change in the routine, meals, naps, etc.

My son usually wakes up between 6:30 and 7 on his own. Sometimes later--yesterday he woke up on his own at 8am! Some days he wakes up bright eyed at 5:30! Both nights went to sleep between 9 and 9:20pm.

How do you get a child to get the 10-12 hours if they are naturally waking and falling asleep at times based on their internal clock? With the naps, mine is getting the 12 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. What do I do when the naps begin to get shorter?

The things I worry about...maybe will lend a hand when the time comes?

 

[mamaLori05]

My dd is 3, and my ds is 11 months. We usually put the 11 month old to bed anytime between 7:30 and 8:30, depending on naps from the day. The 3 yr old usually goes to bed between 8 and 9ish. However, if we are out with friends or family they do just fine staying up late (10 or 11). My kids don't really do the crabby thing. If they go to bed at their "regular" times, then they usually wake up between 7:30 and 8. If they are up later, then they usually sleep in later.

 

[thegrimdwarf]

How do you get a child to get the 10-12 hours if they are naturally waking and falling asleep at times based on their internal clock? With the naps, mine is getting the 12 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. What do I do when the naps begin to get shorter?

The things I worry about...maybe will lend a hand when the time comes?

I wouldn't worry about it. Not ALL kids need that much sleep, though I would certainly say the majority of them do. You'll be able to tell if your child needs more sleep by her moods - just like you can tell now. That never changes, lol - tired kids are cranky! If her naps get shorter, and she's getting unpleasant, the easiest thing to do is give her a slightly earlier bedtime. If you're sensitive to her needs, and flexible, you'll figure out the right amount of sleep for her.

 

[EthansMom]

I have a DD4 and a DS6. During the school year, the kids are in bed around 8 p.m. and allowed to read or play Leapster until 8:30 p.m. During the summer, they're generally running about 30 minutes later. DS6 is generally a "go to bed early, get up early" kid but DD4 would stay up all night long and then sleep through the next day if I let her.

I, too, don't understand parents who let their young kids stay up late for no particular reason.

 

[waltskids]

DS who is 20 months goes to bed at 7pm and wakes around 8:30am. He still takes one nap, but it's getting shorter.

 

[iheartdisney]

I, too, don't understand parents who let their young kids stay up late for no particular reason.

My young kids don't stay up for no particular reason. We moved in January, and they just can't seem to stay on Eastern Standard time. We've tried putting them to bed at 8,and they are talking or fooling around until 9 anyway, so we pushed bedtime back to 9 during the summer. I don't know what we are going to do once school starts!

 

[Ephany]

DD's (5) bedtime has been 8pm for a year or two now. We're a bit more lenient in the summer and on breaks, but very rarely do we let her stay up past even 9pm. She can go to be at 8pm or 11pm and she will still get up at 7:30am, so she has to be on a schedule for our sanity. She gets very grumpy if she doesn't get enough sleep. She stopped taking naps at 18months or so, so things are much smoother if we ensure she's in bed on time.

 

[ColleenG]

My 6, 4, and 2 year olds we start putting to bed (stories, snuggle) about 7:15 and try to be done by 7:45. The 6 and 4 year olds are usually asleep by 8:30. The 2 year old conks right out if he hasn't had a nap. And the 1 year old has a bottle around 8:00 and goes down around 8:30. With summer being here we are more lax about getting them into bed on time. We like to go for walks after dinner or down to the boardwalk so once in awhile they stay up a little later. But during the school year we are pretty strick.

 

[cerberus]

I, too, don't understand parents who let their young kids stay up late for no particular reason.

I invite you to try and get my 3yo DD to bed before 10pm. It truely would be a godsend for me. If I am lucky once a month, well maybe twice, she falls asleep on the couch downstairs before 10pm. Otherwise, not so fun .
When I start telling her it is about time for bed, she will even look outside the window and tell me it is not dark enough yet We have tried the whole 'setting a routine" and that still did not even help. She is up in the morning bt 8 -8:30am, often earlier since her sister wakes up around 7am. My mom watches her 2 nights a week and she is not even successful in getting her to bed.

 

[mjantz]

My 8 & 11YO go to bed between 8 & 8:30 during the school year. The goal is to have DD go to bed at 8 & read until 8:30 & DS go to bed at 8:30 & read until 9 but it doesn't always work that way. Since they have to be up at 6:30 on school mornings, a set bedtime is important. During the summer we let the bedtimes slide but I will probably be trying to move them back to school times starting next week or so.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

During the school year the kids are usually in bed no later than 8:30. In the summer all bets are off. We are very lenient with bedtimes in the summer. That is because we don't have to be anywhere in the morning so I don't care if they sleep in. Oh- and it isn't just letting them stay up for no particular reason. The reason can be that a show is on that they want to watch, we have company over, we are all snuggling on the couch, we are watching bats, we are catching lightning bugs etc. Sometimes nobody feels like going to bed. I hated being forced to go to bed early as a kid. I would stay awake for over an hour every night in bed. I was not tired! I enjoy the summers with the kids so we just go with the flow. No crankpots here! If they are tired then they take naps. If not then they don't. Of course this is only the schedule for summer. When we have school it is early to bed. During the school year though they sleep right away because their days are so super busy.

 

[jackie101]

We have a 8, 6, and 4 1/2 yr old twins. During the school year 7-7:30 then on weekends & summer 7:30-8:30. But if we want to go out we will let them stay up later and they normally do pretty well. But the next day everyone needs a rest or some downtime.

 

[Aliceacc]

WE're both teachers, and we have a pool in our back yard. We most definitely are a "looser" family during the summer.

During the school year:
5 year old: in bed by 8, up at 6 ish by choice

8 year old: in bed by 8:30 (usually wide awake for another half hour) up at 6:30 ish by choice

10 year old: in bed by 9:30, up against his wll by 7. (But can't fall asleep any earlier, we've tried!!)

Summer:
5 year old: in bed at 8:30 ish. She conks out when she's tired. Usually up by 6:30

8 year old: in bed by 9:30 most nights. Usually up by 7:30 am by choice

10 year old: in be by 10 most nights. Up when he wants to be, usually by 9

 

[design_mom]

My children are 4 and 7 (almost 8). The 4yo goes to bed at 8pm. The 7yo goes to bed around 8:30pm. They both need to get up around 7am for daycare, etc. They even need to get up relatively early on the weekends (hockey and church), so we've found it easiest to keep bedtimes somewhat consistent.

(I'm working p/t this summer so the kids don't *have* to be up early every day, but they get up early anyway. My DS says, "I don't want to waste my day at home by sleeping all day!".)

That said, if there was a special get-together, I would let the kids stay up later. They were up till 11pm on 4th of July. They usually do pretty well as long as we build in some downtime for the next day. I think being consistent, but not rigid, is the key.