Kevin - An Apology

[DrMomof3]

I realized during chat tonight that I made an off-hand remark about having children that could have been hurtful. As someone who had significant infertility (all 3 of my kids were thanks to a fabulous infertility doctor and lots and lots of injections!), I am very sensitive to exactly the type of comments I made.
Please accept my sincere apology to you and anyone else who was offended!
I am truly blessed to have any children, much less 3 healthy ones and I am thankful every single day.

Amanda

 

[DisneyKevin]

I realized during chat tonight that I made an off-hand remark about having children that could have been hurtful. As someone who had significant infertility (all 3 of my kids were thanks to a fabulous infertility doctor and lots and lots of injections!), I am very sensitive to exactly the type of comments I made.
Please accept my sincere apology to you and anyone else who was offended!
I am truly blessed to have any children, much less 3 healthy ones and I am thankful every single day.

Amanda

There is absolutely no need for an apology.

You said nothing wrong and I certainly didnt take it that way.

Thank you...but we are just fine.

 

[DrMomof3]

Oh good!
I wanted to post this as a thread because I realized that in any given group there are those who wish they could be parents and aren't. I tend to talk about my children a lot (online and in life). There are 2 reasons for that: my children are pretty fabulous (although my 4 year old's current skill is pushing all of my buttons) and they are young enough to be all-consuming. Obviously in a Disney community, children are a given but it doesn't have to be "in your face."
Thanks!

Amanda

Just wanted to add. We all have our "issues" which touch us personally, as was mentioned in the TS3 thread about suicide. This is my issue so I felt particularly guilty about making an insensitive comment!

 

[disney4dan]

For what it is worth, I think Kevin would be an awesome parent.

 

[DrMomof3]

I agree!

Just so nobody feels left out of the conversation: We were talking about ABD last night in chat. (It's on my bucket list, btw.) I was complaining that ABD is too expensive and Kevin told me it's well worth the price. So I commented that he doesn't have 3 kids to pay for.
And then the realization that many people don't have 3 kids because they can't....

Amanda

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

There are lots of ways to parent, even if you don't have children of your own. May people adopt or foster children, or care for nieces/nephews/grandchildren/children of friends.

We don't have children, but we sponsor three children through Compassion International. We write letters back and forth to them every week. It's wonderful to hear about their lives in India, Bolivia and Burkina Faso.

While it's not exactly parenting, it's great to hear from "my kids". We got a letter from our oldest kid this week, whose mother bought a gas stove with our family gift last month. His letters always begin "dear Aunty Amy and Uncle Patrick", which I think is adorable.

Just my seventy cents.

 

[sjsjbrook]

I agree!

Just so nobody feels left out of the conversation: We were talking about ABD last night in chat. (It's on my bucket list, btw.) I was complaining that ABD is too expensive and Kevin told me it's well worth the price. So I commented that he doesn't have 3 kids to pay for.
And then the realization that many people don't have 3 kids because they can't....

Amanda

I don't think that would be offensive to people, it is a fact of life the more members that you have in a family the more expensive it is to travel.

Then there are people who have pets who can't be away from them for that long or can afford the cost of boarding them in a kennel while they are away.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

 

[DrMomof3]

There are lots of ways to parent, even if you don't have children of your own. May people adopt or foster children, or care for nieces/nephews/grandchildren/children of friends.

We don't have children, but we sponsor three children through Compassion International. We write letters back and forth to them every week. It's wonderful to hear about their lives in India, Bolivia and Burkina Faso.

While it's not exactly parenting, it's great to hear from "my kids". We got a letter from our oldest kid this week, whose mother bought a gas stove with our family gift last month. His letters always begin "dear Aunty Amy and Uncle Patrick", which I think is adorable.

Just my seventy cents.

An excellent point. What a wonderful thing to do! I'm from a big family but my parents sponsored a child, too.

I don't think that would be offensive to people, it is a fact of life the more members that you have in a family the more expensive it is to travel.

Then there are people who have pets who can't be away from them for that long or can afford the cost of boarding them in a kennel while they are away.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

Thank you!

Amanda

 

[DisneyKevin]

There are lots of ways to parent, even if you don't have children of your own. May people adopt or foster children, or care for nieces/nephews/grandchildren/children of friends.

The state of Florida doesnt allow folks like John and I to adopt.

I used to teach kindergarten...so I've cared for other people's kids.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

The state of Florida doesnt allow folks like John and I to adopt.

I used to teach kindergarten...so I've cared for other people's kids.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about Florida's suck-itude in that respect.

Most agencies in New York won't let us adopt either, because my partner is over 55. And my poor dad, being over 55 and gay....

 

[DisneyKevin]

I don't think that would be offensive to people, it is a fact of life the more members that you have in a family the more expensive it is to travel.

Then there are people who have pets who can't be away from them for that long or can afford the cost of boarding them in a kennel while they are away.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

The conversation was about the cost of the London / Paris trip and Amanda said that it would be too expensive with 3 kids.

I dont remember my exact wording but I said something along the lines of "well...I cant have kids".

It was an off-handed comment in a chat room and being a nice person...Amanda was checking to see if it had offended me.

As I said above...it certainly wasnt offensive and there was nothing to aplogize for.

We're cool. This is a non-issue.

 

[*NikkiBell*]

The state of Florida doesnt allow folks like John and I to adopt.

I used to teach kindergarten...so I've cared for other people's kids.

I never realized that. I was confused when you responded last night. I have many friends who have been allowed to and this threw me. Never realized that about FL.

If it makes you feel any better, you and John can adopt me!

 

[DisneyKevin]

If it makes you feel any better, you and John can adopt me!

Havent we already done that?

 

[*NikkiBell*]

Good point.

 

[mainegal]

The state of Florida doesnt allow folks like John and I to adopt.

In my opinion, this is just kinda wrong.
But, are you happy with adopting Nikki?

By now I have gotten over my wish to have children, but it took a while.
I often realize that I am fortunate that I can do things that my "married with kids and a house" friends can't do. One friend loves to hear about my adventures, she says she lives vicariously through me!

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

In my opinion, this is just kinda wrong.
But, are you happy with adopting Nikki?

By now I have gotten over my wish to have children, but it took a while.
I often realize that I fortunate that I can do things that my "married with kids and a house" friends can't do. One friend loves to hear about my adventures, she says she lives vicariously through me!

mainegal, I'm in the same boat as you. Thought I wanted to have kids. Met my SO, who is 30 years older than I am. Kids became not an options

However, we live in a great apartment in Manhattan for super cheap, two blocks from Central Park, a block from the river... we take amazing vacations, eat out a lot, sleep late whenever we want, etc.

 

[DrMomof3]

It's so wrong that same-sex couples can't adopt when there are so many children who could benefit from a good home. A high school friend of mine wrote a good article in the NY Times Magazine a few months ago about this issue (her name is Pamela Paul if anyone wants to find the article).

A loving home is a loving home whether it's a single parent or a same-sex couple, etc. We've had friends who had a more difficult time with the adoption process because they're Jewish and the birth mothers wanted the child raised in a "Christian" home. So wrong.

Amanda

 

[chrisw127]

It's so wrong that same-sex couples can't adopt when there are so many children who could benefit from a good home. A high school friend of mine wrote a good article in the NY Times Magazine a few months ago about this issue (her name is Pamela Paul if anyone wants to find the article).

A loving home is a loving home whether it's a single parent or a same-sex couple, etc. We've had friends who had a more difficult time with the adoption process because they're Jewish and the birth mothers wanted the child raised in a "Christian" home. So wrong.

Amanda

A lot of international adoption is cut off now too. China recently changed their requirements and among other things, you have to be married which means that gay couples can't adopt. It's particularly sad when you consider how many millions of children over there are in orphanages. We're friends with a couple who were able to fly under the radar a few years ago (gay couples were never technically allowed), but that wouldn't happen now. Their child would not be better off in an orphanage just because she has two moms. Ridiculous.

 

[simonkodousek]

Florida doesn't allow same-sex couples to adopt children? That's horrible, especially with the number of kids out there that need to be adopted! Love is love, whether it's gay, straight, bi, whatever!

And this is yet another reason I'm a strong supporter of gay rights, as if that should even be an issue at this point.

(I'm adopted, BTW)

 

[exwdwcm]

The state of Florida doesnt allow folks like John and I to adopt.

I used to teach kindergarten...so I've cared for other people's kids.

wow, i did not know this, shows how ignorant I am! so how many states do NOT allow it?

I think it is ignorant on their part too. If someone wants to offer a child a loving, caring and stable home, then I don't see the problem. Who cares if it is two men, two women or one of each or just a single parent. It's a blessing however you look at it. I am surprised too, given that companies like Disney offer benefits for partners (of any type)---I am assuming they still do at least.