Keeping your marriage fresh

[klfrech]

DH and I are married 23 years are in quite a rut. We both acknowledge this and want to change, but aren't sure where to begin.

 

[beckmrk04]

Ok- I don't really have "advice" but I would reccommend reading the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People"- that might jumpstart for each of you some things that maybe you have been putting aside (dreams, goals, ideas) for each of you personally, and then as a couple.

I do know you can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results, so it's good that you both acknowledge that something needs to be done!

 

[ez]

I think it might help if you find something new that you can do together. My husband and I just had our 24th anniversary a few years ago we got a harley. My ...everything changed then. We spend so much time together out on the bike and have made so many great new friends. Now I understand a motorcycle may not be for everyone, maybe take up a sportor hobby together or something. Just something new you can look forward to as a couple, something you can get passionate about. Chances are that will help kick start your passion for each other...good luck

 

[Dokietoes]

DH and I are married 23 years are in quite a rut. We both acknowledge this and want to change, but aren't sure where to begin.

That's about the time in our marriage when we started to go to WDW and DL on a regular basis. We're up to 31 now, not including 3 years of living in sin.

 

[Mom2Satan&Daisy]

I think it might help if you find something new that you can do together. My husband and I just had our 24th anniversary a few years ago we got a harley. My ...everything changed then. We spend so much time together out on the bike and have made so many great new friends. Now I understand a motorcycle may not be for everyone, maybe take up a sportor hobby together or something. Just something new you can look forward to as a couple, something you can get passionate about. Chances are that will help kick start your passion for each other...good luck

I've only been married for 12...but I've been with DH for over 17 years. We got a motorcycles 2 years ago...and I totally agree!!


I agree with trying something new, a hobby or sport.

 

[Nik's Mom]

DH and I have only been married for 12 years. We have 2 disabled kids and we felt like we were in a rut because we were always so preoccupied with our sons. Plus, at that time, my Mom was living with us. What we did was go away for the weekend to someplace romantic. We went to a resort and rented a villa complete with private villa. It was one of the best things that we ever did for our relationship.

 

[Pooh Crew]

Five kids and fifteen married years later: I drive over to dh's office during the day to have lunch with him. We try to do this once a week, but with conflicting schedules, it turns out to be about twice a month. Every once in a while, we'll go to breakfast on a weekday together and he just gets to the office a little late. Also, while neither of us are big texters, we do text each other during the day...it's a quick way to let the other one know you are thinking of them.

 

[rie'smom]

Start going out on dates. Once a week schedule dinner, a walk, a movie, etc. , something that shows you're both still willing to make the effort.

Read the same book and talk about it.

 

[kristilew]

Read the same book and talk about it.

Yes! May I suggest for starters: Red Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle by Bill and Pam Farrell

I also totally agree with pp who said get away. DH and I have been together 21 years and just recently restarted the effort to go away just the two of us. Wow! It helps you remember the reason you wanted to spend all your time together.

 

[Piecey]

My parents started taking Ballroom Dancing lessons a few years ago...

...they both love it soo much!

Dad's even having his companie's christmas party in a ballroom this year, making the whole thing into a dance.

 

[Buckalew11]

After he signs you up for a WDW 1/2 marathon, run it together and spend some extra days at WDW alone, together.

Getting away helps us the most. Getting away to WDW, is THE best because he is not stressed while there.

I emailed him today at work and asked him out for Thursday night.

(21 years)

 

[Mom2Satan&Daisy]

These are all great ideas!! I may 'steal' a few myself!

 

[akhenaten]

we live on the east coast and went away for a few nights to a boutique hotel in Newport RI.... it was fantastic!!!
(21 years married.... 30 years together)

 

[Cool-Beans]

Take vacations alone and at different times.

I don't really know the secret for avoiding ruts. Sometimes we're in one, sometimes we aren't. Nothing we do really has anything to do with it, I don't think.

But I know that when DH is away for work or hunting and comes home, I'm always glad he's back. And I know he misses me when I go away.

Works for us.

Good luck!

 

[KathyTX]

Just a reminder: posts of a sexually suggestive nature aren't appropriate here.

 

[LadyEMT]

Haven't read the thread, but I want to recommend a book, "His Needs, Her Needs", by Willard Harley. If only I had read it prior to my Ex husbands midlife crisis and him leaving us.

 

[quasar4legs]

One of the things that really makes me happy is my hubby leaving notes around the house, Just little smilies or a simple message, nothing elaborate. Sometimes they are in the shower, on the kettle, hanging off the computer screen, the wheel of my car.
Hubby works pretty long hours but he schedules in his diary time for us so that we can see a movie, go to the zoo, a walk on the beach, visit an art gallery etc.
We always try and get away for a few days or more every year but that's been pretty easy for us as we have family keen to have our son.
At least one night a week when we are both home we turn the TV off, put on some music and just sit and chat on the lounge.

We are big fans of Stephen covey's books and have utilzed his book the '7 habits of highly effective families'. We have personal goals and family goals that help us all keep on track.

congrats to you and your hubby for wanting to make a positive change.

Trish