Keeping your last name?

[allisonswonderland]

I am really thinking of hyphenating my last name but I do not want to give up my middle name - anyone else done this? I do not undersatnd why I can not have 4 names especially if the last name would be hyphenated like Smith-Jones that is really one name - I just get annoyed because George Herbert Walker Bush has 4 names and there are other men with for names, why not me. You probably think I am a feminazi- but the truth is that I do not adapt well to change- I guess that I should also say that this is something that I have thought about doing since I was young- I remember being 20 and even then thinking that I didnot want to change my name but I am 32 now and it feels like I am losing me--- maybe I am just nervous...

I am going to have to move 45 min away to a town that I am not crazy about and making a lot of changes (he is wonderful I need to say) and I think this is just something I need to hold on to for now- I tol DF that by the time we have kids I will probably be tired of writing it all the long last name but who knows and I should say that my kids would only have his name! Help ---

 

[BrideToBe82]

I didn't know that if you hyphenated your last name you couldn't keep you middle name!? I will be changing my last name but I think that you should still be able to keep your middle name! Maybe you can say your middle name is a part of your first name?

 

[karentan]

i went for the hyphenated route cos i'm proud of my surname (and my brother seems destined to be an eternal bachelor) and wanted my dad's family name to carry on. i'm happy to use my full (4 names) name.

 

[i*heart*villains]

I'm planning on hyphenating. DF and I had kids already when we met and my son has my last name. So when we decided to get married I gave my son (14) a choice to change his name or hyphenate or keep it the same and he wants to hyphenate. I told him that I'll do what he does so he's not the only one that has a different name. So it's going to be Grattan-Hazlehurst. I was hoping he would want to change! We won't be dropping a middle name but maybe we should it's soo long.

 

[Skylarr29]

My mother's last name is hyphenated and she didn't drop her middle name. The only reason she did it that way was because she was remarrying and she didn't want to complicate things by having a different last name than her three children. I personally look forward to taking my husband's name as a way to honor and respect him. I don't look at it as losing myself at all. Maybe I am old fashioned but that is just my .02.

 

[SRUAlmn]

I'm having the same battle (I'm 28, almost 29 BTW.) My fiance has a very complicated 12 letter German last name. It has been a pain in the neck to have to spell it out for people and use common words to emphasize the letters everywhere we go and it's not even my name yet. I also thought about hyphenating, but then I thought that would be so mean to our future children to have a 19 letter last name So then I thought about hyphenating myself and then our kids would have his last name, but I don't want them to have to go through the whole spelling issue either. This would all be easier if he would just take my name!!!

 

[Ember]

I'm keeping my name. "Feminazi" or not. I have some serious issues with the practice of the wife taking the husband's name that I won't get into here. He actually offered to take my name if it was important to me that we have a family name but that really doesn't matter to me.

I don't think there is anything wrong with liking your own last name and being attached to it. And having four names, if that's what you would like, is just fine.

 

[disneybridetobe]

I'm actually taking his, because his is a slightly *less* complicated German name than mine is, which happens to be another oddly spelled last name. LOL my dad asked me if I was going to hyphenate- seriously- it would look like a cat walked across the keyboard. Either way- I have to spell both of our names out a few times for anyone to get them right

 

[Laurafoster]

Im going to be taking my fiances last name, mostly because hyphenating mine would just sound silly -Laura Rachel Foster-Flower??

However i would do whatever you want, i dont see why you cant have the 4 names?

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

you don;t have to loseyour middle name at all!!

i'm Michelle Angela maidenname-marriedname

i kept my maiden name until we had children then i hyphenated still only go by my maiden last name though

 

[Moonpie]

I'm hyphenating my last name...and keeping my middle name...if I can. I didn't know that their were any restrictions on that. Since my father died, I'm the last of his family so that's why I'm keeping that name, and my middle name is my mother's first name, as well as my great grandmother's name, so I'm definately keeping it! Whether it be a legal name change or not!

 

[SRUAlmn]

Since my father died, I'm the last of his family so that's why I'm keeping that name

I'm so sorry about your father. Mine passed away too, and we have 3 girls and no boys in our fam. I'm the oldest, but my middle sister already got married and changed hers. No more boys in the entire family so I really feel strongly about keeping mine. My fiance, however, is an only child and is the last in his line for his family name too. I don't know what we're going to do!!

 

[Summer-Caitlin]

Hmmm, I too have had this conversation with my fiance. I just don't want to take his name. Is it selfish to say I don't like it? I just don't think it goes with my name!

I have told him how I feel, people constantly mispronounce it. My father also died 2 years ago and although I have a brother, I quite like my own name. I don't agree with the woman having to take her husbands name.

He is not the type of guy that is worried about carrying on his name, he has 2 brothers, but he thinks we should have the same last name. Not sure about the hyphenating either, guess this is something else I'll have to figure out before the wedding

 

[SRUAlmn]

He is not the type of guy that is worried about carrying on his name,

Mine isn't either, but I think his parents would be really upset. Like I thought their name wasn't good enough. Which is so stupid because why can't I see it as they think my name's not good enough if he wants to take it. You know? I don't want to be a feminazi either, but this is a source of tension around here

 

[JJClemson]

I am only taking DF's last name b/c it's so much easier than mine. My first name is Jenilee, which no one can pronounce. My last name starts w/ the letters "HL" and continues for seven more letters. I am sick of sounding foreign, and I am thrilled to finally have an easy four letter last name. However, I will be hyphenating my last name when I have work published. I work in Public Health, and have journal articles published. You never include your first name, only first initial. It is important to me to keep my last name for this b/c I already have so many things published.

I definitely do not think you have to get rid of your middle name. Many people in my field hyphenate their last names, and use both their first and middle names.

 

[feline figaro]

I am really looking forward to taking my fiances surname, including my middle name my first, middle & surname are all at least 6 letters so the prospect of having a new short (ish)surname will be nice. I ve already been practising my new sig. If i did a double barrelled surname it would be way too long plus think my df likes the fact of me fully taking his surname.

 

[Summer-Caitlin]

I've suggested to my fiance that we should both give up our surnames and choose a new surname together , that way we will both be giving up our original surnames and settling on a surname we are both happy with. This may sound drastic to some, but I'm beginning to think it's the only solution to make us both happy

 

[juligrl]

You can do whatever you want with your name. What's popular in one area usually isn't in others. My MIL was the first person I met who had dropped her middle name and made her maiden name her last. Likewise, she thought it was wierd that nobody out here did the same thing.
Personally, I've always been Julie Lynn and couldn't see the sense in dropping my Lynn. If I'd have wanted to keep my maiden name I would have just tacked on the hyphenated version after my Julie Lynn.
Do whatever you want.

 

[hfehr1s]

I have also comtemplated keeping my own last name. My current thought is to take DF's name but I will keep my last name as well. So it would be Hailey Christina (maiden name) (DF Name). I don't want to hyphenate b/c It would be too long, so I would sign with his last name, but I would know my name was still in there. It would be kind of like having two middle names ... does that make sense??

 

[Koyta]

I have also comtemplated keeping my own last name. My current thought is to take DF's name but I will keep my last name as well. So it would be Hailey Christina (maiden name) (DF Name). I don't want to hyphenate b/c It would be too long, so I would sign with his last name, but I would know my name was still in there. It would be kind of like having two middle names ... does that make sense??

This is what I've thought about doing as well. I have read it's possible, and I've known people with two middle names, so it seems to be the best of all worlds.