Keep the ring?

[NeverlandClub23]

My fiance and I broke up last week and I'm going through packing up to move back to Virginia, looking for a new job, etc. He really is the one that wanted this and he told me I could keep the ring (he paid $3k for it) that he proposed to me back in June with. I don't really want it, but then I do (if that makes any sense). I don't want to sell it or even wear it I just feel like it's "mine" and wouldn't want anyone else to wear it. But then I also feel like he didn't "mean it" when he proposed to me and I don't want to keep something that meant nothing. What would you do?

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Under normal circumstances you should give it back, but if he told you to keep it, than keep it! You won't want to hold onto it forever though, especially when someday you're engaged to someone new.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

If he broke up, technically you can keep the ring.

It doesn't make sense to keep it if you aren't going to wear it. You probably have quite a few expenses ahead of you. I would sell it and use the money to get back to where you started.

It sounds like there is a much larger issue here...dealing with a breakup can be hard. Do you have all your questions answered? If not, I would try to get them before you move away. The questions can haunt you a lifetime if you don't...and it will make it more difficult for you to give your heart to someone else if you don't really know what happened in your last relationship.

Good luck to you...feel free to PM if you need a shoulder!

 

[daisyduck123]

If he told you to keep it, I'd keep it. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this.

 

[Lil_Tink]

First of all, hope you get better.

If he said you can keep it, I would vote keep it and sell it.

 

[NCDisneyMom]

According to everything I've read (etiqutte colums and such), if the guy breaks the engagement, the ring is the girls' to keep. If the girl breaks the engagement, she should return the ring.

Best of luck to you.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

According to everything I've read (etiqutte colums and such), if the guy breaks the engagement, the ring is the girls' to keep. If the girl breaks the engagement, she should return the ring.

Best of luck to you.

Ditto.

 

[HeatherH]

I would give it back. It honestly will be worth NOWHERE what he paid for it should you decide to sell it.

If you want to be sure, go get it appraised and see what it's worth before you decide what to do. I've been there, done that, and pretty much a $3000 retail ring will be worth less than $500 on resale. If you need that money, then take it, especially since he said you should keep it.

Good luck to you, as I said I have been in your situation...he obviously is NOT the right one for you, but hang in there... the right one IS out there for you.

 

[graygables]

I agree that you should keep it. I was married before and had a second diamond ring my ex had won at a baseball game and sent to me while we were seperated. I took them to a local jeweler after my divorce and had all the diamonds remounted into a new ring. Then, when my DH and I knew we were going to marry, I took that ring to the same jeweler and he and my DH worked together on a design. We traded my original diamond for a nicer, pear shape, and kept some of the smaller diamonds in the new design. It worked out beautifully and I got a much nicer ring than if my DH had gone out and just bought one retail somewhere, plus it was custom made for me. Neither of us cared where the "original" came from, what mattered was this one was "us".

So, you could trade it or have it remade sometime in the future. Eventually the pain will ease and it won't be so hard. I wish you well in your new beginning!

 

[Disney Doll]

I would offer it back to him one more time, and if he says keep it, then keep it. Call him just before you are ready to move, and say "I will be leaving on Tuesday, I just wanted to give you one more chance to get the ring baack."

If you keep it, put it away for a while, until the hurt settles down, then decide what to do with it.

 

[TinkerBess_SnowTori]

I say keep it too -- heck even if it is only worth $500 - it is still $500

and like others said you might want to use it to "trade up" for a better ring when you "trade up" to a better guy

 

[shortbun]

Have it remounted. It would make a nice necklace, don't you think?!

 

[JennaTX]

Have it remounted. It would make a nice necklace, don't you think?!

That's exactly what I thought. Keep it and turn it into something else, a necklace or part of a bracelet!

 

[Melrosgirl]

If he broke the engagement, I would say keep the ring UNLESS it is a family heirloom ring.

 

[hiwaygal]

I would keep it...and later, when things have settled down in your life, then decide what to do with it!

to you!

 

[beattyfamily]

He said keep so I guess you can keep it. I'd ask one last time though. But I just wanted to say that this has come up several times on "Judge Judy" and every single time she says that since the contract of getting married has been broken, the ring, which is part of that contract of getting married, should always be returned. It's part of the 'getting married' deal.

I personally wouldn't feel right keeping an engagement ring and would return it no matter what the circumstances.

 

[MsLeFever]

Legally the ring is his - but if he said to keep it then you should. Still, to cover your butt in case he changes his mind try to get that in writing. Maybe ask again via e-mail if he wants it so you can get an e-mail response telling you to keep it?

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

Have it remounted. It would make a nice necklace, don't you think?!

Absolutely!!

 

[Skatermom23]

According to everything I've read (etiqutte colums and such), if the guy breaks the engagement, the ring is the girls' to keep. If the girl breaks the engagement, she should return the ring.

Best of luck to you.

 

[WDWLVR]

According to everything I've read (etiqutte colums and such), if the guy breaks the engagement, the ring is the girls' to keep. If the girl breaks the engagement, she should return the ring.

Best of luck to you.

That's how I've always thought it went as well. Best wishes as you start a new chapter of your life.