Just returned from Fantasy today

[MomOTwins]

Well did and I still feel I can, because I still would not want to see Cinderella on stage with half the cast dressed as Walmart shoppers. I don’t wanna watch Sesame Street open for Def Leppard. I like congruency. Apparently I should just seek therapy for my unjust desire. I’m far to inconvenient in my wishes for one meal out of 21. A pair of dress pants and a collar shirt(I don’t even care about a tie) is just way to far out. Suppose I should prepare myself for slippers and pajama pants for my daughter‘s wedding and just get over it.
This conversation just hurts. Why am I such a bad person to want this?

Because one should never treat other people solely as a means to an end--they're people, not props or decorations. They have their own wants and needs, and to say that your desire for a fancy atmosphere is inherently more valid than their desires to wear what they prefer is treating them as less important and subservient to you. There are plenty of a reasons others might have for not dressing up:

• They're taking a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to cruise with the recent heavily discounted fares and ordinarily couldn't afford a disney cruise, and formalwear isn't in the budget.
• Maybe they had formal wear but have gone up a clothes size or two during the pandemic (I know I did) and don't want to buy new expensive clothes for just one night
• They'd rather spend their limited vacation time doing activities on the ship than ironing suits in the laundry room and doing hair and makeup
• They are trying to conserve suitcase space with how difficult flying with checked bags is these day
• Disney no longer mails you a packet that explains formal and semi-formal night, and they are new to cruising and just didn't see that particular FAQ on the website buried under all the other information
• They are simply more comfortable (physically and/or mentally) wearing casual clothes and took Disney at their word it is optional dress-up

There is a non-optional quite formal dress code at Remy on the Dream/Fantasy, including jackets for men, and it is enforced, so maybe that would be a good option for going somewhere where everyone is dressed up?

I dress up for pirate night, and it's fun, but I never would look at someone in regular clothes and declare pirate night to be ruined because others are not participating. In fact, there weren't that many people dressed up on pirate night and we still had a ball. The CMs all engaged in pirate-y banter with us. We got cute pictures of our family. "You do you" as the kids say these days, and let other people do what works for them.

 

[SouthernMouse7708]

thanks OP (and others) for answering questions!

I’ve booked kids club time in the app for our March cruise, but wondered if additional times open once you’re underway? My kids LOVE going to the clubs, and sometimes go more than once a day for different activities. Any chance?

 

[lanejudy]

No, the PP knows that formality only works when everyone at an event is dressed formally. That's the issue with a lack of standards. It only creates the right mood for a formal night when everyone is dressed formally. When everyone is dressed differently (some in gowns, some in shorts), that isn't a real formal event

"Formal night" on DCL isn't a formal event and the dress code has been optional for several years now. If an actual formal event is what she wants, then her angst should be directed at DCL for not offering a night with required formal dress in the MDR. It is not right to fault others who prefer casual as allowed by the stated dress code. The poster should plan a meal at Remy which is an actual formal event.

 

[Alaska777]

This has been a great read. I hate dressing up but I’m going to do it on formal night next month. Not a full length gown because I don’t and won’t own one. But im going to put some effort into this and enjoy it. And I LOVE seeing others dressed up. When I dress causally, I know no one is looking at me and that’s my preferred state of existence. And I assume that when others dress up, they want to be looked at and like the attention. Please don’t stop dressing up and having a wonderful time! I appreciate it even more after reading all this.

 

[Kimpossible1]

I feel that just one day, on such a special vacation, they could have a night and restaurant for formalwear and a different restaurant for casual. If the buffet was open they could go there, but it’s not during Covid.
So my heart broke a little, the men in our group immediately said they wanted to be out of their monkey suits and wear shorts. You would think that because I said that they were so adorable and handsome that the silly notion of wearing shorts would just leave their minds. Nope, some other guy is wearing shorts so they shouldn’t have to dress up.
So few dress-up days in my lifetime to have that day that is so special where I can look around and live my fantasy. . I’ve had prom, and my wedding also my brothers wedding I don’t want to watch a live action Cinderella with half of the cast in shorts and graphic print tees. I’m on a Disney ship and want to have my magic, am I so bad for that? I’m not asking for a guy too jump out of a plane, wrangle a steer, or wear a dress.
I’m going to get flamed for this, ugh.

Oh my! Suggesting that people who are not dressed up should go to the buffet makes me cringe. People can wear whatever they want because it shouldn't affect you or your enjoyment of the day. It's time to open up that mind and just let people be themselves.
For the record on every cruise we take, my daughter and I wear dresses every night and long dresses on formal night, because I got them cheap at Ross Just because we choose to dress up a little never makes me think twice what anyone else is wearing. It is their vacation and they can do what they want, and my happiness is not based on what other people are doing Life is a lot easier when you just let that kind of stuff go...like Elsa❄

 

[Snowwhyt]

No, the PP knows that formality only works when everyone at an event is dressed formally. That's the issue with a lack of standards. It only creates the right mood for a formal night when everyone is dressed formally. When everyone is dressed differently (some in gowns, some in shorts), that isn't a real formal event.

If you had a formal wedding, you wouldn't want a bridesmaid to wear blue jeans & baseball cap because it would spoil the effect. Same principle here.

It's unfortunate that occasional formality is disappearing from normal life. That's likely why so many people go so over the top & nuts for their weddings these days. They have no other truly formal occasions left to experience.

You get me.

 

[Snowwhyt]

Because one should never treat other people solely as a means to an end--they're people, not props or decorations. They have their own wants and needs, and to say that your desire for a fancy atmosphere is inherently more valid than their desires to wear what they prefer is treating them as less important and subservient to you. There are plenty of a reasons others might have for not dressing up:

• They're taking a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to cruise with the recent heavily discounted fares and ordinarily couldn't afford a disney cruise, and formalwear isn't in the budget.
• Maybe they had formal wear but have gone up a clothes size or two during the pandemic (I know I did) and don't want to buy new expensive clothes for just one night
• They'd rather spend their limited vacation time doing activities on the ship than ironing suits in the laundry room and doing hair and makeup
• They are trying to conserve suitcase space with how difficult flying with checked bags is these day
• Disney no longer mails you a packet that explains formal and semi-formal night, and they are new to cruising and just didn't see that particular FAQ on the website buried under all the other information
• They are simply more comfortable (physically and/or mentally) wearing casual clothes and took Disney at their word it is optional dress-up

There is a non-optional quite formal dress code at Remy on the Dream/Fantasy, including jackets for men, and it is enforced, so maybe that would be a good option for going somewhere where everyone is dressed up?

I dress up for pirate night, and it's fun, but I never would look at someone in regular clothes and declare pirate night to be ruined because others are not participating. In fact, there weren't that many people dressed up on pirate night and we still had a ball. The CMs all engaged in pirate-y banter with us. We got cute pictures of our family. "You do you" as the kids say these days, and let other people do what works for them.

Fine I get it. You don’t want it. I won’t force it. I removed myself from the “come as you are” event and now have other plans. Room service just to take away the stress I feel over the event. The special event isn’t special anymore because people don’t want it that way.
I never expected everyone to wear pirate gear but I still have a good time the whole night.
Formal night was only a meal with kilts, military outfits and gowns and dresses or sparkly pant suits. I absolutely understood if someone just came in a blouse and dress pants or dress pants and no tie. For all the reasons you stated and you forgot “I forgot part or all of my outfit at home” I had always assumed that was what happened to many. What ever, you have explained how WRONG I AM to want what they had prior to 2016 change in policy. I can see you are going to keep justifying why there should be no formal dinner. But you never once offered a option that could please both groups. Except just deal with it. You can have it your way, it’s been that way since 2016. You won already. My bad for wanting something that I miss, like autographed items at guest services, paper navigator’s, the marble hallway of the Magic between the shops.

 

[Snowwhyt]

Oh my! Suggesting that people who are not dressed up should go to the buffet makes me cringe. People can wear whatever they want because it shouldn't affect you or your enjoyment of the day. It's time to open up that mind and just let people be themselves.
For the record on every cruise we take, my daughter and I wear dresses every night and long dresses on formal night, because I got them cheap at Ross Just because we choose to dress up a little never makes me think twice what anyone else is wearing. It is their vacation and they can do what they want, and my happiness is not based on what other people are doing Life is a lot easier when you just let that kind of stuff go...like Elsa❄

It was my understanding that they served a sit down meal on formal night at the buffet. The same meal for the entire ship. No actual buffet was offered. Apparently I identify as Shrek not Elsa here. Any why is the buffet so cringey?(assuming you get the same meal and I understand that they also had tablecloths.)

 

[happycamper47]

What ever, you have explained how WRONG I AM to want what they had prior to 2016 change in policy. I can see you are going to keep justifying why there should be no formal dinner. But you never once offered a option that could please both groups. Except just deal with it. You can have it your way, it’s been that way since 2016.

Actually it wasn't even being enforced early on. When we were on the Dream in 2011 people were in the MDR's in "T"s and shorts and nothing was said.

 

[disEAR]

 

[Lilsia]

Fine I get it. You don’t want it. I won’t force it. I removed myself from the “come as you are” event and now have other plans. Room service just to take away the stress I feel over the event. The special event isn’t special anymore because people don’t want it that way.
I never expected everyone to wear pirate gear but I still have a good time the whole night.
Formal night was only a meal with kilts, military outfits and gowns and dresses or sparkly pant suits. I absolutely understood if someone just came in a blouse and dress pants or dress pants and no tie. For all the reasons you stated and you forgot “I forgot part or all of my outfit at home” I had always assumed that was what happened to many. What ever, you have explained how WRONG I AM to want what they had prior to 2016 change in policy. I can see you are going to keep justifying why there should be no formal dinner. But you never once offered a option that could please both groups. Except just deal with it. You can have it your way, it’s been that way since 2016. You won already. My bad for wanting something that I miss, like autographed items at guest services, paper navigator’s, the marble hallway of the Magic between the shops.

I guess that I am confused by what you mean by having options to "please both groups". That is exactly what they are doing by having dress up as optional. What I think you are really saying is that there should be segregation. And what is there to "deal with". You seem to be acting as if what others wear has an affect on you. If it does, it shouldn't. Are you spending the whole time looking at others who are enjoying their meal? You are not some kind of victim here that you seem to want to portray. There are things that we all want back from the way the used to be. But times change, people change, the economy changes. If we spend the rest of our lives wanting what used to be, then we will miss out and what could be. Live in the moment, enjoy what you have. You can chose what makes you happy and what upsets you. And if you chose to be upset, annoyed, or angry, that is not anyone else's fault but your own. I wish you peace.

 

[mullysisters]

Why would people in shorts bug you? They make it clear that Formal night is just a suggestion and completely optional. Cruise lines still do that for those who want nice pictures. That is why they set up all of those cameras in the lobby. If someone likes to dress up and wore nice clothing on casual nights, would that bug you too? I guess I don't get why what others wear, as long as it is not offensive, have any impact on your cruise at all.

I guess some still would like to have the Captains Dinner or Formal night but perhaps that is no longer a thing on a Disney cruise. I would have liked a Formal dinner but "suggesting" people dress formally or office chic as we call it seems silly. Maybe they could do a formal dinner at Palo? Dressing up for a restaurant dinner isn't only for photos, it's fun for some people who were raised to do that.

 

[Kimpossible1]

It was my understanding that they served a sit down meal on formal night at the buffet. The same meal for the entire ship. No actual buffet was offered. Apparently I identify as Shrek not Elsa here. Any why is the buffet so cringey?(assuming you get the same meal and I understand that they also had tablecloths.)

Yes!! No reason for the steerage to mingle with first class...they get tablecloths I'm sorry, I shouldn't make a joke of it, but someone else used the term "segregation" and that is just what you are proposing, so maybe it is time for me to stop engaging and just let you be✌

 

[Snowwhyt]

I guess that I am confused by what you mean by having options to "please both groups". That is exactly what they are doing by having dress up as optional. What I think you are really saying is that there should be segregation. And what is there to "deal with". You seem to be acting as if what others wear has an affect on you. If it does, it shouldn't. Are you spending the whole time looking at others who are enjoying their meal? You are not some kind of victim here that you seem to want to portray. There are things that we all want back from the way the used to be. But times change, people change, the economy changes. If we spend the rest of our lives wanting what used to be, then we will miss out and what could be. Live in the moment, enjoy what you have. You can chose what makes you happy and what upsets you. And if you chose to be upset, annoyed, or angry, that is not anyone else's fault but your own. I wish you peace.

You totally are swinging for the trees here. You’re trying to twist this so hard I can’t even recognize where your comments are coming from. Your probably confused because you twisted my wishes so much.
1- A formal night.
2- A option for those that do not want formal.
3- Not a dress like whatever and call it formal night.
Why even mention a formal night? When technically a person could wear formal wear the entire cruise? There by making every night formal night?-No. There’s a magic to a formal wear events. No magic in come as you are dinner. It was a perk of cruises that means your vacation was a special event. Although it didn’t initially address the “not my thing crowd” which I still feel should have a place.

Most high schools had dances, but Prom was just a high school dance too right? What made that dance different was it’s formal. Why is Formal night so hard to see in the same way
“And if you chose to be upset, annoyed, or angry, that is not anyone else's fault but your own. I wish you peace” And yet you did/said what you could to keep from making that happen. My desire and experience on the Fantasy made you more unhappy then my personal experience it seems.

I will never stop wanting formal night to be a formal/semi-formal(for who needs a little slack).
Funny story; I needed slack once. I was trying to get dressed in the spacious cabin bathroom lol getting into my formal and the struggle was just too much and I asked my daughter for help. She said opened the door and said “Mom it’s not going to happen” she said she was sorry but it was her dress! My daughter packed our formals, but grabbed her blue dress instead of my blue same material dress by accident. She looked amazing in her champagne colored formal. And I grabbed a black maxi skirt and my blouse with gold ribbons and made due. I looked okay but would have liked to have a nice mom and me picture with us both dressed to the nine’s.

 

[Snowwhyt]

Yes!! No reason for the steerage to mingle with first class...they get tablecloths I'm sorry, I shouldn't make a joke of it, but someone else used the term "segregation" and that is just what you are proposing, so maybe it is time for me to stop engaging and just let you be✌

I think the buffet area is way better looking then Enchanted Garden. That looks far better then EG even without the table cloths. Of coarse my comment is after the EG Remodling for Covid. I’d be fine if that’s where they had the formal only, dinner even. That was where my formal night was in January, enchanted Garden.

 

[Snowwhyt]

Yes!! No reason for the steerage to mingle with first class...they get tablecloths I'm sorry, I shouldn't make a joke of it, but someone else used the term "segregation" and that is just what you are proposing, so maybe it is time for me to stop engaging and just let you be✌

Perhaps if you looked at it as a dress-code. The way it was written by Disney originally. Pretty sure the never mentioned segregation. So the Palo in Remi segregate still and that’s okay with you?

 

[happycamper47]

q 7th

Perhaps if you looked at it as a dress-code. The way it was written by Disney originally.

But as I mentioned above.....Never really enforced...

 

[AquaDame]

Things are getting fairly heated and this thread has strayed far from the topic... I do feel for those who wish there was still a..less optional... formal night, but it is now really honestly just a suggestion and is optional. No good can come from arguing about each others likes and dislikes as its all subjective.

Please lets allow the thread to get back on track before I have to close it...!

 

[Ikaikalani]

Question for the OP, did they have lobster night? And if so, what night was it? TIA

 

[Snowwhyt]

Question for the OP, did they have lobster night? And if so, what night was it? TIA

Lobster was final night and the head server will cut it up for you. As per mid January. That’s the night you give your tip envelope.