Just need words of encouragement, support or advice for medical emergency

[Shellsbutt]

Hello all-like the title states, if anyone can offer hope or useful info, I would greatly appreciate it. My husband suffered a medical emergency on Tuesday. I ended up taking him to the ER with chest pains. This hospital or ER dept is 2nd busiest in CA apparently. I had to drop him off and wait in my car, patients only. They took EKG, drew blood. Everything looked okay, he spent the night on a gurney parked in the hallway because all beds were full. Stress test wasn't done until following afternoon and those were inconclusive. My husband wanted to leave by the following night(he had been there 24hrs by that point) and get some sleep in his own bed. Doctors didn't want to let him go, they needed to do another stress test but couldn't tell us how soon it would be done.

We left and he slept at home. He was given instructions to come back the following morning and go to radiology dept for scans. We showed up and reception told us we were not on the schedule, no record of him. They gave us number for radiology dept when they opened at 8:30am and so we went home to make phone calls. Come to find out there are 2 separate radiology depts and he was to go to the one connected to the hospital. We had gone to another one in a different building but all part of same complex. So came back around noon and he got the stress tests done. We went back home and his regular doctor called him about 4pm and told him to go back to emergency room, they found something on the scans. Of course, he didn't want to go back but I forced him. He sat in the waiting room until 1:30am when they finally admitted him to a room. So this is now friday morning. I was at the hospital all day with him yesterday. They needed to perform cardiac catheterization procedure(angiogram?) to see how extensive artery blockages were and put in stents if possible.

He ended up being the last procedure of the day at 5:30pm, they don't do them on Saturdays so next available time wouldn't be until Sunday. So we were grateful about that. I waited in cath lab and was called in much sooner than expected. Results were major blockage and smaller blockages in same artery, diseased? heart tissue-triple bypass needed. We are both in shock, and scared. Cardiologist spoke with us for a little while and gave info, but I had a hard time retaining any info because I was so numb.

So, has anyone had this surgery or known someone who has and survived? My husband is 56, weighs 5'10'' and 267 pounds. Was it caused by diet, lifestyle? Is it mostly genetics? We have being walking weekly for about 7 years now, doing 10k on weekdays. We walked on average 10 miles for each of our last vacations. Also found out yesterday that he is now diabetic. He has been borderline for several years but he was surprised by it nonetheless. He takes blood pressure meds and the hospital has now put him on Lipitor and I guess now he will need medication for the diabetes.

Some questions I have-He experienced chest pains for the first time last Friday? It seems unbelievable to me that his heart is this damaged and there were no other signs? This must have taken years to get to this stage, right? He could have collapsed on any of our previous trips, thank god he didn't. One of the nurses also told me-if he's experiencing chest pains, call 911 for ambulance. So he would've been seen sooner if I hadn't brought him in myself?

Thank you if you read this far, I'm headed to the hospital to be with my husband and I need to be strong for him. I am so overwhelmed at the moment.

 

[Christine]

So sorry you are going through this. Hopefully @Pea-n-Me can chime in at some point with her cardiac experience.

To your questions: It's generally can be a combination of factors leading to this. You can see people with perfect diets, fit, etc. have coronary artery disease. It would not be the norm, but it happens. You may recall Jim Fixx, elite running, who dropped dead of a heart attack at age 52. What was said about his issues was this:

Granted access to his medical records and autopsy, and after interviewing his friends and family, Cooper concluded that Fixx was genetically predisposed—his father died of a heart attack at 43 after a previous one at 35, and Fixx himself had a congenitally enlarged heart—and had an unhealthy life: Fixx was a heavy smoker before beginning running at age 36, had a stressful occupation, had undergone a second divorce, and gained weight up to 214 lb.

At 267 pounds, there's most certainly lifestyle factors at play. These often come home to roost in this age demographic (I'm 59 and seeing a lot of scary stuff with my age group of friends). Between the diabetes and heart issues, probably some genetic predisposition that was greatly influenced by diet. Fortunately, he can turn the diabetes around and will need to adopt probably a Mediterranian eating style going forward for the heart stuff.

Hang in there--while it sounds so depressing, he's caught it and can correct it and that's the really good news.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I can help you. This is what I do for a living. However, it will take me a while to post my thoughts and answer your questions. What I want to say right now, though, is that both of you - you and your husband - need to take some deep breaths and try to relax a little bit, and let them do their thing. It can take a while, as there are lots of other patients going through the same thing (and worse), so everyone’s needs have to be balanced, plus, there is a lot of information that needs to be coordinated just on your husband’s case alone, before surgery happens. Hospitals, even large ones like that, handle emergencies on the weekends but sometimes things slow down until the weekdays start.

This is really important: It is not good for him to leave the hospital! I understand that this is all a shock and that he seems young and yada, yada, yada, but he’s not. We see people much younger than this, too. Things happen. To all of us. And when they do, we just have to deal with them, one (often relatively slow) step at a time. Hopefully you come across some good staff who can take the time to sit down and go over everything with you. It is a crisis, to you. So you just need to find ways to cope with it. Things will be looking better later on, and your husband, probably without realizing he didn’t feel great, will be feeling a lot better down the road, and getting healthier at the same time.

I’ll leave you with those thoughts for now, and I will write more later. It’s important to work with his caregivers, because this will be a long road, and you don’t want to start it off by doing things that aren’t recommended, you know? He will just have to try to go with the flow as best he can. Find some ways to help him relax - does he like music, movies? Would he like to talk to someone? There’s usually a chaplain who can come in to talk (they see this all the time). You can help him deal with things that need to be dealt with outside of the hospital, but try to also let him relax as much as he can. If his anxiety is getting worse, they can give him something to help him relax. Hang in there.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Wishing your husband well, @Shellsbutt. Know he is in good hands.

As for 911, yes, he would have been seen more quickly, very quickly. My son is a firefighter/paramedic. He says, always call 911 for any perceived emergency. When they bring in a patient, the patient does not go to the waiting room. They are triaged for level of risk, with heart and stroke at the very top, other that maybe a critical bleed from accident, etc.

Yes, heart and stroke can come with no warning. It's good you 'won' the discussion of going to the ER or not.

My best for him, with prayer. And for you also. 's

 

[Moliphino]

Generics can play a big role in heart health, too. It's not necessarily something you can control. I'm glad they caught it before it caused more issues.

Three years ago my dad collapsed while walking through the hospital on his way to give blood. Sudden cardiac arrest from vfib. Since he got immediate medical care he survived. He didn't need a bypass, just stents. His mother died of a heart attack in her 80s after having had a couple heart surgeries in her life (I was a kid at the time, so I don't know the specifics, might have been a bypass).

 

[momz]

I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this. I can assure you that many people have had this procedure and survived. As you stated, I suspect he has had this problem developing over a long period of time. It seems now he has reached the point that the blood flow through those arteries is compromised. This can be happening and the person has absolutely now symptoms until the lumen of the artery finally gets too small. It sounds like this is what happened to your husband.

There is a simple study that can be done easily, called a "heart scan" that can be done routinely to screen for problems that might be brewing. Sort of like why women get a mammogram, men and women can have routine screenings for heart disease.

As far as why this happened.... both genetics and lifestyle play a role, as does aging. I can't give a reason for your husband's particular case.

Concerning the healthcare environment...it is horrible across the board. Especially for things that are urgent or emergent. This is another case where the "system" is broken. Healthcare is huge $$$$$, take a close look at how much you pay, then realize those dollars are not going in the pockets of the nurses and ancillary staff taking care of you. Heck even many physician specialties no longer pay that well. The money is going to admin, building projects, advertising, and elective services that bring in tons of $$$.

This year, when the graduating med students went through matching season for the residency assignments, Emergency medicine came out with 30% of their resident positions unfilled!!!!! these young doctors don't want to go into this like emergency medicine and primary care. They can make much more $$$$ in specialties like ophthalmology, dermatology, etc. Plus much less stress in those specialties.

Now, take that and be kind to your NP who is trying to fill the gaps (while getting paid a pittance).

All that said, my prayers are with you and your husband as you go through this experience. I pray you have encounter kindness and someone who can offer you their ear and some guidance. Right now it likely just feels like he's a number going through the system. It's so terribly impersonal.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

The reason an ambulance is recommended for chest pain is not necessarily that you’ll get in sooner. Believe me, when someone, especially a middle aged man, gets to an ER with chest pain, they are going to get triaged right away and have vitals, an EKG and bloodwork done asap, regardless. (Classified as “Urgent” either way.) The reason you call 911 is because things can go bad in the car, and you don’t want that to happen. As a driver, you could pass out and have an accident. As a passenger, you can pass out and the driver won’t be able to help you. An ambulance has everything needed at that moment - trained personnel, oxygen, nitroglycerine, morphine, insertion of an IV, fluids, EKG, etc. They also stay in touch with hospital personnel on the way. If they find the EKG has changes that indicate ischemia (or if the EKG done at Triage does), into the back you go very quickly for treatment. No ischemia, there might be more of a wait. Not all chest pain is heart-related, and there are some ways to give staff a good idea whether it’s likely to be, or not. Staff will also look at things like medical history and medications one takes, etc.

ETA I just want to clarify that if someone in an ambulance is in the throes of an actual heart attack (myocardial infarction, or MI), that’s different. That person will be classified as “Emergent” and taken directly into a treatment room and likely very soon afterward, transported to the cath lab.

 

[Cheshkat33]

My heart goes out to you. Stay strong. I had a similar empierce in 2017. It was definitely a whirl wind!!! I only wish my husband could have had the option of a by-pass as it was not offered to us. I believe he'd still be with us if he did. He had 3 stents put in on first major heart attack. And they told us his body will tell us when it's time to do the last one. Unfortunately, he didn't make it on time as he had a second major heart attack while driving home in his transport truck. He was 48 He did have family history of heart disease. I believe our doctor failed him!!!
Your hubby will be just fine once he has his bypass! He'll feel good as new. I pray for the procedure to go as well as possible so he can join you on your walks again! Praying for good thoughts and healing light.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

So, has anyone had this surgery or known someone who has and survived? My husband is 56, weighs 5'10'' and 267 pounds. Was it caused by diet, lifestyle? Is it mostly genetics? We have being walking weekly for about 7 years now, doing 10k on weekdays. We walked on average 10 miles for each of our last vacations. Also found out yesterday that he is now diabetic. He has been borderline for several years but he was surprised by it nonetheless. He takes blood pressure meds and the hospital has now put him on Lipitor and I guess now he will need medication for the diabetes.

Some questions I have-He experienced chest pains for the first time last Friday? It seems unbelievable to me that his heart is this damaged and there were no other signs? This must have taken years to get to this stage, right? He could have collapsed on any of our previous trips, thank god he didn't. One of the nurses also told me-if he's experiencing chest pains, call 911 for ambulance. So he would've been seen sooner if I hadn't brought him in myself?

@Christine above hit on a lot of the salient points above. Heart disease is a combination of genetics and lifestyle.

To help people understand heart disease, I like to tell a story I was taught in training at the hospital about some studies that were done in the Vietnam era. They looked at the coronary arteries (those arteries which lie on the outside wall of the heart and supply the heart itself with oxygen) of young men on both sides who died in the war. Young US servicemen, even in their early 20s, showed evidence of the beginning of coronary artery disease, while Vietnamese did not. The obvious culprit was the American diet (though I’m sure if we looked at this today, other, genetic factors may have come into play, but hard to say). Things from a dietary standpoint in the US have gotten way worse since then. People think that eating healthy is something that can change things later in life, when the time to eat healthy really starts in childhood. (These chicken nuggets, Mac n cheese and super size meals are killing us! I have tried really hard to impress that upon my own children, but hey, this is how things are in our society.)

Anyway, we all have risk factors for coronary artery disease. (Notice I didn’t say “heart disease” because there are many other types of heart disease, but here we are talking about coronary artery disease in particular.) Some of these risk factors are modifiable, and some are not. Non-modifiable risk factors include our age, race, gender and family history (and adding menopause for women). Modifiable risk factors are those we can do something about: diet, exercise, cholesterol management, smoking, weight, uncontrolled diabetes, etc. Though we can’t change our family history, it is something we should be aware of, and we can all strive to keep our modifiable risk factors as well-managed as possible (though many of us, in reality, aren’t real great at doing that ). I have seen many, many cases of people who kept themselves in the best shape possible who had a heart attack at the same age their father did, for instance. It can be uncanny. It doesn’t happen for everyone, but it does happen for some. People think, then why did I bother? Well, it could’ve happened earlier, or it could’ve been worse, etc. Staying in shape is always a good thing.

OP if I was your husband’s caregiver and had all his information in front of me, we would sit down and go over everything. It’s impossible for me to do that here because I don’t know details. But I can say what we often see, and what patients who have these issues tell me. Many say they didn’t realize how bad they’d been feeling. They chalked it up to aging, or their work, or thought they were just tired, etc. But once they have their procedures they often start to feel better in a lot of ways. Now that he knows he’s diabetic, for instance, he can work to achieve good diabetes control. That alone can help him to feel better. We know that diabetes accelerates the heart disease process (along with lots of other systems) so that has to be a priority, because even after he has a bypass, he can still develop additional blockages. Cholesterol management, for that reason, will also be a high priority. He will want to start a walking program post operatively, and he may want to go to a cardiac rehab center to do that under supervision. Important thing is to take it seriously. I often see older men and women walking around the neighborhood and I can guess they’ve been through something like this. It’s a good thing. And often, whole families come out healthier then when they went in, because everyone is going to want to help DH/Dad stay healthy, so junk food is kept out of the house, activity increases, etc. Walking strongly can build up new blood vessels in the heart (collateral circulation) so that if there are more blockages that develop, then there is still additional blood flow which helps deliver oxygen to the heart in the setting of the blockage.

One way to look at this is that your husband is fortunate that he had a warning sign in his chest pain, and that he was able to go in and get help. Many people don’t have that. We have dealt with this in my family, too, losing one member in his early 40s, and another in his early 60s, both with no warning. My own father was found down by my mother, and he didn’t make it. He’d said he’d go to the doctor’s the next morning if he still didn’t feel well, but morning never came. So it’s good not to wait. I think that once the shock wears off, and your DH accepts that this is his new normal, and he realizes how lucky he was to still be here, then he can work on getting better. Many, many people have these surgeries (we’re so fortunate to live in this day and age!) and go on to live very normal lives afterward, so it’s not the end of the world. But I know it sort of seems that way right now. I hope this information helps.

 

[Stratman50th]

Well, the same thing happened to me so I feel for you, and your husband. But mostly you as it's harder on the kin than the person going through it. At least that was our experience.In 2009 I went in with some ache type pains in my left bicep and pressure in my lower jaw. No chest pains. They took me right in and ran the tests. I said I felt guilty as there wasn't any more pain or sensation. I thought I should leave. They said nope, you've had a heart attack. The next day I had a brand new stent.
Fast forward to January 2018. Funny feelings in the same areas. Went in to get checked out and came out with another stent right next to the original. No heart attack though but a 97% blockage.
Felt horrible in Nov. 21. I'll skip all the symptoms but turned out I was in congestive heart failure. Back in for three new stents in two different locations in January 22. That's 5 now. One more and I get a free toaster! Not sure what caused it, maybe a virus? Nobody knows but I'm stuck with it. So testing now to see if I get a new defibrillator installed. I'm not a doctor, but my advice for what it's worth, make sure your husband pays attention to how he feels. Don't blow off any symptoms. The biggest killer in heart attacks is denial.
Now, the why. My family history includes heart attacks, diabetes, high cholesterol, obesity. I have them all. As my wife tells me all the time "you're a hot mess". Pair that with a high stress job and not enough exercise and stir. Your results may vary but probably not by much.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Well, the same thing happened to me so I feel for you, and your husband. But mostly you as it's harder on the kin than the person going through it. At least that was our experience. I went in with some ache type pains in my left bicep and pressure in my lower jaw. No chest pains. They took me right in and ran the tests. I said I felt guilty as there wasn't any more pain or sensation. I thought I should leave. They said nope, you've had a heart attack. The next day I had a brand new stent.
Fast forward to January 2018. Funny feelings in the same areas. Went in to get checked out and came out with another stent right next to the original. No heart attack though but a 97% blockage.
Felt horrible in Nov. 21. I'll skip all the symptoms but turned out I was in congestive heart failure. Back in for three new stents in to different locations in January 22. That's 5 now. One more and I get a free toaster! Not sure what caused it, maybe a virus? Nobody knows but I'm stuck with it. So testing now to see if I get a new defibrillator installed. I'm not a doctor, but my advice for what it's worth, make sure your husband pays attention to how he feels. Don't blow off any symptoms. The biggest killer in heart attacks is denial.
Now, the why. My family history includes heart attacks, diabetes, high cholesterol, obesity. I have them all. As my wife tells me all the time "you're a hot mess". Pair that with a high stress job and not enough exercise and stir. Your results may vary but probably not by much.

I like your wife’s attitude, lol. It’s not uncommon to develop heart failure after having so many blockages, called “ischemic heart failure” or “ischemic cardiomyopathy”. The heart enlarges in an effort to work overtime. In that situation the electrical fibers (that cause the heart to beat) can stretch out and arrhythmias can set in. If one of those is a lethal arrhythmia (like @molphino mentioned above, ie VFib) then it will deliver a shock then and there. It can be life saving. And again, many, many people today are living well with heart failure (which is really a weakening of the heart muscle itself, but can cause a lot of problems if blood flow diminishes). Be sure to follow the sodium and fluid guidelines they gave you so you don’t get fluid buildup that impairs blood flow and organ perfusion, etc. Good luck to you.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

and healthy caringto all! Reminder we all care

 

[RogueX]

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. Here's what I can tell you of what happened with my mother in-law. She was 61 I think, maybe 60 and for a year or so had been having a bit of trouble breathing but chalked it up to allergies. She's a little overweight but not much and fairly active (gardening, yard work, household work, etc.).

When she went for a physical and mentioned the trouble breathing, her primary care doctor had her see a cardiologist despite a normal EKG. Well, it's good, because she had 5 blockages and need quintuple open bypass surgery.

It was nerve wracking for her and frustrating because she always ate well, took care of herself and needed this surgery. In a moment of depression, she vented to me that it was unfair her siblings sat around eating boxes of donuts and never needed anything like this.

She had the surgery without complications and although she's still self conscious about the scar on her chest, she's alive, well and active again.

 

[maxaroni]

DH has been through this. @Pea-n-Me has excellent advice and spot on from what we have experience.

For us, it was 2020 and our DS was to be married in April. We said that once he was married, we’d prep the house to sell and then downsize. You know what happened, Covid exploded and that part is all well known. DS & DIL moved their wedding date until November 2020, figuring by then all would be well. We were both working from home in 2020 and due to covid, DH’s business was very slow. He decided to prep the house to sell as he now had all of this time. He was up and down on ladders, up and down from the basement to the 2nd floor, lifting, moving things, etc. etc. Not one time was he out of breath, chest pains, had no ill feelings at all.

I will interject here that he had developed diabetes after being prediabetic. He had been diabetic for 3 years and had it completely under control between diet & exercise. His A1C was a consistently 5.4-5.6 and the doctor was so pleased that she wanted to take him off of 500mg of metformin that he took per day. He has a family history of CAD (coronary artery disease) and no male had lived past the age of 69. His dad had many heart attacks starting in his 40s. DH was closing in on 70 and we thought we hit the jackpot, no issues heart wise. He had had stress tests and passed them until the last one. He just failed it by a tad and did the nuclear one, they saw nothing wrong and cleared him. The only thing looking back on it, he was a bit more tired at the end of the day. He chalked it up to aging.

2 weeks after DH turned 70, we were on a walk in our neighborhood. We had our DS & future DIL for dinner the night before and had a wonderful time. We were just starting to be with them a little bit, sitting on our screened back porch at separate tables. On our walk, my DH started having chest pains, getting severe. I called 911 just prior to him collapsing on the side walk. We had learned through my moms illnesses that it best to call 911 for the reasons stated above…God forbid he went into cardiac arrest or any other situation arose, better in the ambulance than the car. The EMTs were assessing him and he started feeling better! Okay, this can’t be that serious right? He’s feeling better and smiling. The EMTs said it could be GERD. Get to the ER and was assessed. Nope, staying the night. It was a Sunday, so not a lot happening but best place for him was the hospital. He had some testing done and was going to the cath lab Tuesday, hopefully, stents. DS, future DIL & I were stunned and walking around in a daze. Could this really be happening? He was too blocked for stents and told he needed triple bypass. this was a Tuesday and that particular hospital did not do CABG surgery (bypass), they were good for heart but not bypass. Had to be transferred to another location, which was done immediately. We thought surgery would happen Wednesday. No, it was not until Friday as there were all sorts of tests to be done prior to surgery. It was awful, so scary and not having any signs that he had heart issues, just stunned.

Due to covid, only one person was allowed in the room at a time. He was due to go to the ER at 5:00 AM, so I stayed home and spoke to him on the phone. I would rather wait in the house than the lobby of the hospital with all sorts of people, due to covid. I didn’t want to be near people if I could help it. The 2 days in the hospital prior to surgery, the doctors spent time with me, as well as DS to make sure we understood it. My DS was excellent as he was able to retain much more than I could. The OR nurse called me midway through to tell me all was going well. I was called when he went into recovery to head to the hospital. Once I was able, I went to see him. DS & future DIL came with me and we took turns. I went first and opened up the door to Cardiac ICU, walked in and someone was just coding. OMG, I was trying to look as I was terrified it was DH. It was not. A nurse saw me and got me, steering me away and to his room. It was frightening seeing him like this but he made it. He was sitting up the next day with the drains, etc. He was in the hospital for 1 week after surgery.

It was very hard in the beginning as it was just the 2 of us and he was told, no pulling/pushing, lifting, etc. That meant he was waking me up in the middle of the night to pull him up to a sitting position so he could get up for the bathroom. He was totally worn out and his recovery was uneventful but exhausted. Four weeks later we were at our DS’s wedding, a little worse for the wear but he made it through the whole ceremony & reception. Our table was moved a bit to give us a bit more room away from people but so be it. 3 weeks after that, our DS’s best friend was getting married and DH looked so much better, felt better and we were on our way.

He continues to do well with his diabetes & his cardiologist is very pleased with how he is doing. He was told that a diabetic diet & cardiac diet are close, but to adhere more to a diabetic diet.

Good luck with it all. It is an awful lot to take in and your head will spin. Try and take a few minutes to regroup and unwind each day.

 

[Shellsbutt]

Thanks so much to all who have taken the time to reply with your experiences and information. It truly means so much. I came back home briefly to eat some lunch, feed the cats and do laundry. I'm trying to hold it together and be strong for my husband. All I want to do is curl up into a ball and just sob. I do have support from my mom, best friend and my two sons(30,22). I will try to respond to individual posts later but I have read every one. I am so numb right now, and scared about the bypass. We don't have a date for when it will take place, but he will be transferred to another hospital for the surgery. I don't want to lose him-we've been married 30years, I'd be lost without him.

 

[YachtClubWoman]

My husband had a triple bypass in Oct 2019. He had no symptoms- years prior he had a stress test and cardiac cath and were watching a few vessels and was put on a statin. He had a stress test and some issues were seen on the EKG not the images. He went in for a cardiac cath and was back the next week for surgery. He did well and was in ICU for 5 days and then home from ICU.

He had a visiting nurse for a few weeks and she did the lab draws for his Coumadin levels.

We had reservations that New Years for the Rose parade and the surgeon said there was no reason he couldn’t go even with the cross country flight. We went and he was fine.

The biggest complaint he had was fatigue until he was back to full strength- that was at about 3 months post op.

Also he did not have external stitches which I think helped recovery- his external incision was glued together and he had a wound vac on the entire hospital stay.

He did need to ride in the backseat of the car since his sternum was cut and used a pillow against his chest for sneezing and coughing

I hope this helps

 

[Stratman50th]

@Shellsbutt
My wife took pictures of me each time I was in the hospital to send to my daughter. She asked "why is dad always smiling when he's in the hospital?" I told her because I get a good night's sleep! Hang in there, at least in my case, it really wasn't so bad.

@Pea-n-Me
You are correct. I said I wasn't going to get into all the symptoms but I was so full of water I couldn't breathe or even bend in half to sit down. Lasix is some awesome stuff! Lost 35lbs in 4 days. Going in for the nuclear stress test and an eco later this month. If my ejection fraction is under 24% I'll get the defibrillator. If it's over, I'll just keep on trucking. And yes, my wife still puts up with me after 34 years. LOL

 

[john7994]

Wishing you all the best and I can relate to some of the fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

On May 4, 2020 around 10:15PM, at the height of COVID lockdowns, my vision in both eyes suddenly clouded over much like what a migraine suffer gets with the pre-headache "aura". As a migraine sufferer, this is what I thought I was having. After about 30 seconds of completely obstructed vision, the vision in my left eye returned and the right eye was completely blind. It was found later that I suffered Central retinal artery occlusion (CRAO), or essentially a form of acute ischemic stroke.

My wife drove me to the hospital and she was not allowed inside due to the COVID restrictions. I sat for an hour by myself in an ER waiting room, scared half out of my mind. After a preliminary triage, I was told that I needed to be transported to another facility where they could do a better evaluation as there was no overnight staff to address my problem. I was given the choice of my wife taking me or an ambulance ride. My wife drove me to the second hospital (but again she wasn't allowed inside) - it wasn't until 3:30AM that I got a final diagnosis.

I was kept in the hospital for another 48 hours, the first night I was essentially on a gurney in a makeshift stall area in a large hallway due to the number of COVID patients being admitted. By the second night, I was in a room, but still not allowed to have any visitors including family. After a battery of tests to determine cause (brain, neck and heart) - it was determined that I had Aortic Stenosis, a defective (birth related) bi-cuspid aortic valve and a faulty mitral valve. The belief (beyond COVID being the cause), was that my heart had enlarged so badly due to the malformed valves likely causing AFib along with being months away from catastrophic heart failure - if the aorta didn't actually burst first. As the doctors put it, despite permanently losing my vision, the stroke essentially was "lucky" because it was a non-lethal warning that likely saved my life.

Just a week after my 50th birthday (about 2 months later) and some pretty invasive testing to confirm initial findings, I underwent 6 and half hours of open heart surgery to repair and replace my valves along with my aorta amongst other things. Every day that passed between the initial diagnosis and my surgical date, I thought I was going to suffer another stroke, heart attack or other problem. It has now been almost three years since it all started, and I am still here. In fact, I just visited my Cardiologist yesterday and blood panels looked good. I am now on annual CTIA / Echo scans for my heart. As as side note, post-operation - I did develop a small pseudo-aneurysm bleed which may have precipitated another open heart surgery - fortunately after 9 months - it closed on its own.

All of this to say - after actively avoiding doctors visits for much of my adult-life - my "new normal" is just that - a new normal that I need to take much more seriously health-wise. Every day that I open my eyes (literally), I am reminded of what happened and what could have happened. At the same time, I can look back and relate to the grueling feeling of being in those moments of not knowing what was happening. Its tough - literally time was standing still - there is no way to sugar-coat it. Eventually, as more information is available and treatment is executed - things will start to normalize. Let the process take its course, take the time to understand what is happening and arm yourself with information - which helps to minimize all those what-ifs.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband, and your family.

 

[fla4fun]

I have no wisdom to impart, but wanted to send .

 

[CGB]

*HUGS* I'm sorry this is happening. I know first-hand how scared and helpless you feel. It was a moment in 2016 that changed our lives and for the better. Although I could write a book on the experience, I'll condense it for time's sake:

- DH, age 57, 6ft 230lbs, smoker, no prior heart issues, chest pains, drove himself home from work past two ERs for me to drive him to the ER!!!!!! (Bet you can guess the conversation for that car ride!)
- EKG in the ER showed a heart event
- Angiogram showed four arteries that were 95-100% blocked. I was told the surgical team was being recalled for an emergency surgery. The lead surgeon gave DH a choice @ 8:00pm: immediate surgery or first thing in the morning (after his team slept). DH went with the morning option and went to ICU for the night.
- The quadruple bypass surgery took about 8 hours the next day. (The veins for the bypass are harvested first and then they will begin working on the bypass.) My DH also spent about 5 days in ICU before coming home. His chest was taped with a vacuum connected, which I believe lasted about a week. We had home health visits also.

My words for you:
- (Editing to add) - Most important thing you can do: take it one thing and one day at a time. Just see what's in front of both of you at that moment and get through that. Then, focus on the next hurdle. One at a time.
- He's going to need you like he never has before, physically and mentally. A positive attitude and perspective from you will be key for both of you.
- Accept help from wherever it's offered.
- Be prepared for the first time you see him after surgery: it will be tough.
- Trust the nurses; they are God's angels in the ICU.
- You should try to get as much rest as possible while he's in the ICU. This was advice the ICU nurses gave me and they were so, so right.
- He's going to need comfy clothes for his recovery. I bought five pairs of pajama pants and one-size larger white t-shirts. If he wears button-up shirts, that's probably better... my DH liked the soft cotton feel more. We just had to be easy with putting the shirts on.
- You will have to help him bathe and most likely help him get out of bed in the beginning after coming home. I also bought extra pillows to prop him at night and lay his arm (with the incision) on.
- He's going to lose weight. My DH lost about 30 lbs in that first month. It is crazy how quickly the human body can lose weight and muscle tone after surgery.
- The meds will mess with his taste in the first weeks after surgery. You'll be trying to make healthy food that he'll eat so he'll stop losing so much weight.... and he won't like the taste. Hang in there when it happens.

I'm going to stop there.

It's been six years but DH is healthier today than before the heart attack. He still goes to Cardiac Rehab every week for their maintenance program; I think he prefers the reminder. DH was a smoker, overweight, and we fried literally everything in butter. We changed so much afterwards...from the smoking to how we cooked food to prioritizing workouts. We viewed his second chance as a gift that we haven't taken for granted. I pray you'll both get that opportunity as well.

Feel free to DM me if you like.
Charlotte