First of all, I tried to get over there early this afternoon and I got lost trying to find the hospital and wasted an hour and a half.. I never go to the city the hospital is located in - and I just kept driving around in circles following "hospital" signs that kept taking me to the wrong hospital.. Grrr..
Finally found the place, parked where I wasn't supposed to park because there was no place else LEFT to park and proceeded inside to yet another maze..
Found the door I had to go through and almost started crying when I realized it was locked and I had to wait for someone to come and "approve" my entry.. (Well - of course[/Iit's "locked" -but I guess I just wasn't thinking about that and it kind of startled me..)
Got inside and they took the bag away that I brought for my DD.. (Two journals; a stack of circle-the-word puzzle books; an Easter card for her to sign for her little girl; a Soap Opera Digest; a 180-minute phone card; and some pens and pencils..) After a bit they came back and said she could have everything except the baggie that the pens and pencils were in..
) - and that she would have to keep the phone card on her person lest someone steal it from her room..
Then they told me she was in the Art Room and they would go and get her and we could visit in the dining/t.v. room or the library.. Someone else was in the library so we had to go in the dining/t.v. room.. We sat away from everyone else at a table and she told me she had seen the doctor earlier and then she saw a movie about depression.. I noticed that her hands were shaking really bad and she was waffling between feeling like she had done the right thing (being admitted to the hospital) - and beating up on herself because she can't just "shake it off"..
After awhile her DH called and while she was on the phone with him, her social worker came in and introduced herself to me and asked if I would go with her to talk about my DD.. (VERY nice girl -young, but VERY knowledgeable and extremely compassionate.. Nice, soft, soothing voice.. I really liked her..) When she asked me what I knew about depression - and how I felt about it - she seemed quite surprised that I knew as much as I did, could talk about the meds and the various side effects, and was 100% in my DD's corner in this matter.. (Is that not the norm?? Wouldn't most parents be supportive, informed, and want to help? )
When my DD was off the phone the social worker had her join us and they discussed some of her issues and what might help.. The social worker also asked my DD if she would sign a paper indicating that they could talk to me (as well as her DH) about her condition and treatment because by that time she had already figured out that if anyone was going to accept the situation uinconditionally and 100%, it was going to be me.. Of course DD signed it - and then the social worker told me what the doctor had decided to do for now.. DD had been taking Effexor for quite some time but at a lower dose, so the first thing he did was to increase that a bit and add Ambien (sp?) so should could sleep (she didn't sleep AT ALL last night) and Adivant (sp?) for anxiety.. She had quite a bit of blood work done and when those results come back they'll see if there are other things going on - or meds that need adjusting..
The social worker said the doctor would like to have a "family meeting" next week, but after speaking with me she didn't feel it necessary for me to be there because basically it's to explain what depression is, how it's treated, why it's REAL, how important support is, etc. - and we all know who needs that pep talk and it sure as heck isn't me.. Please pray that her DH (at the very least) and possibly her in-laws will attend!!
By the time we were done meeting, my DD's husband had arrived.. I only stayed for a brief time after that (I felt it was important that they talk privately) - and - I may have done something last night that I shouldn't have....... I couldn't sleep, so I sent him an email - and pretty much told him how I felt about his attitude.. I wasn't nasty - I didn't "yell" at him or "blame" him for my DD's severe depression - but I did make it pretty clear that he needed to educate himself in this area and if he couldn't find it within himself to give her the support that she needs right now, the consequences could be VERY serious..
So - that's where things stand now.. My DD was VERY sad - and I am VERY sad.. No one likes to see their "baby" unhappy and hurting.. I wish I could do more.. Wave a magic wand and make it all go away.. But....I can't..
Please pray for her - and pray that her DH can finally accept this situation.. He really IS a wonderful person in most other aspects -so kind and caring - helpful - honest - hard worker - extremely polite - but he has led a "charmed" life and has never had to deal with hard times or problems or the uglier aspects of life - and I truly believe he just can't grasp the concept of it all..
Thanks again for listening - and I will gratefully accept any and all prayers and PD you would like to send our way.. Without you people on the CB, I don't know who else I could talk to about this..
Finally found the place, parked where I wasn't supposed to park because there was no place else LEFT to park and proceeded inside to yet another maze..
Found the door I had to go through and almost started crying when I realized it was locked and I had to wait for someone to come and "approve" my entry.. (Well - of course[/Iit's "locked" -but I guess I just wasn't thinking about that and it kind of startled me..)
Got inside and they took the bag away that I brought for my DD.. (Two journals; a stack of circle-the-word puzzle books; an Easter card for her to sign for her little girl; a Soap Opera Digest; a 180-minute phone card; and some pens and pencils..) After a bit they came back and said she could have everything except the baggie that the pens and pencils were in..
) - and that she would have to keep the phone card on her person lest someone steal it from her room..Then they told me she was in the Art Room and they would go and get her and we could visit in the dining/t.v. room or the library.. Someone else was in the library so we had to go in the dining/t.v. room.. We sat away from everyone else at a table and she told me she had seen the doctor earlier and then she saw a movie about depression.. I noticed that her hands were shaking really bad and she was waffling between feeling like she had done the right thing (being admitted to the hospital) - and beating up on herself because she can't just "shake it off"..
After awhile her DH called and while she was on the phone with him, her social worker came in and introduced herself to me and asked if I would go with her to talk about my DD.. (VERY nice girl -young, but VERY knowledgeable and extremely compassionate.. Nice, soft, soothing voice.. I really liked her..) When she asked me what I knew about depression - and how I felt about it - she seemed quite surprised that I knew as much as I did, could talk about the meds and the various side effects, and was 100% in my DD's corner in this matter.. (Is that not the norm?? Wouldn't most parents be supportive, informed, and want to help?
)When my DD was off the phone the social worker had her join us and they discussed some of her issues and what might help.. The social worker also asked my DD if she would sign a paper indicating that they could talk to me (as well as her DH) about her condition and treatment because by that time she had already figured out that if anyone was going to accept the situation uinconditionally and 100%, it was going to be me.. Of course DD signed it - and then the social worker told me what the doctor had decided to do for now.. DD had been taking Effexor for quite some time but at a lower dose, so the first thing he did was to increase that a bit and add Ambien (sp?) so should could sleep (she didn't sleep AT ALL last night) and Adivant (sp?) for anxiety.. She had quite a bit of blood work done and when those results come back they'll see if there are other things going on - or meds that need adjusting..
The social worker said the doctor would like to have a "family meeting" next week, but after speaking with me she didn't feel it necessary for me to be there because basically it's to explain what depression is, how it's treated, why it's REAL, how important support is, etc. - and we all know who needs that pep talk and it sure as heck isn't me.. Please pray that her DH (at the very least) and possibly her in-laws will attend!!
By the time we were done meeting, my DD's husband had arrived.. I only stayed for a brief time after that (I felt it was important that they talk privately) - and - I may have done something last night that I shouldn't have.......
I couldn't sleep, so I sent him an email - and pretty much told him how I felt about his attitude.. I wasn't nasty - I didn't "yell" at him or "blame" him for my DD's severe depression - but I did make it pretty clear that he needed to educate himself in this area and if he couldn't find it within himself to give her the support that she needs right now, the consequences could be VERY serious.. So - that's where things stand now.. My DD was VERY sad - and I am VERY sad.. No one likes to see their "baby" unhappy and hurting.. I wish I could do more.. Wave a magic wand and make it all go away.. But....I can't..
Please pray for her - and pray that her DH can finally accept this situation.. He really IS a wonderful person in most other aspects -so kind and caring - helpful - honest - hard worker - extremely polite - but he has led a "charmed" life and has never had to deal with hard times or problems or the uglier aspects of life - and I truly believe he just can't grasp the concept of it all..
Thanks again for listening - and I will gratefully accept any and all prayers and PD you would like to send our way.. Without you people on the CB, I don't know who else I could talk to about this..
