I enjoyed reading your post, it does help to keep things balanced and this board is for shared opinions, good and bad. I didn't view your post as negative toward Disney.
I think it's really about the ages of the kids. At least for us, I can't imagine taking a cruise with children that young. Limited space in the stateroom, etc. It's a shame the clubs didn't work out for your son. I imagine that changed the tone of your trip. I don't understand the Flounders thing, I thought they limited visits so all children could partake. But, I've never been with children that young, so I don't know.
Our children are 26, 23 & 12. We now have my DGD7 living with us. When my DD12 was very small, we didn't travel. To me, lugging strollers, diaper bags was just not worth it. Not having any adult time etc. Literally, when DD12 was a baby/toddler my DH and I would take turns taking the older kids on vacation (they were 9 & 14) and the other would stay home with the baby. I think people thought we were wierd but it worked for us. None of us had the desire to drag around baby and all that went with her. Not too mention scheduling everything around her naps, moods etc. Granted, we did do many things as a family locally, the zoo, the park, beach etc. Just no big $$$$ family trips. We took our first trip to WDW when she was 5 and even that was carefully planned with breaks etc.
This is not to say that I don't admire the parents who throw their kids in backpacks and go river rafting, traveling the world etc

, I just think it's so much work, and really impacts your time.Personally, I couldn't do it. I'm willing to bet that it would have been a totally different experience for you if you'r kids had been even a few years older. I'm so sorry that you spent so much $$$. No matter what the situation, an investment like that to have a less than great time is a bummer.
We are going in a couple of weeks with DGD7 and DD12 and I'm hoping that DGD will enjoy the clubs because I do want to have at least some adult time. My DD12 didn't like the clubs when we cruised 3 years ago. Also, felt it was to rigid, but we were lucky that she was old enough to hang with her cousin (who was older) in the stateroom or at the pool so we could have bits and pieces of adult time. We did the 4 day first, to make sure this was our cup of tea. We enjoyed it and our looking forward to the 7 day. The 4 day was sooo busy, I'm looking forward to the sea days this time.
Thanks again for your post, it helps to know that it being Disney doesn't automatically make it a perfect time and gives some of us a little more perspective.
Thanks
Jenn