Just a vent about people bumping threads...

[poohandwendy]

I just wonder if people are aware of the PM option?

There have been a few threads of sensitive nature regarding family issues that keep getting bumped up after weeks of the OP letting it die and I think it is really insensitive. If anyone is worried about the OP (or their family), or just thinking of them, why don't they just send the OP a nice pm?

To keep bumping the thread comes off as ambulance chasing to me. It rubs salt in the wound where someone really could just want to keep it to themselves or may have just forgotten about it or wanted everyone else here to. It really isn't our right to know the 'ending' just because someone happened to post a thread here in the heat of whatever is happening in their lives.

Maybe some people have walked away and just forgot to post an update, even still... wouldn't a pm be more appropriate than constant 'bumps'?

I dunno, I am certain to be flamed for mentioning it because obviously people are just 'concerned' about their 'friends'...but that is what i think the pm option was designed for. Anyone else feel this way? I just think it would be better to err on the side of caution, that maybe the OP doesn't want to get into it or has alot on their plate right now. That is why I think a pm is ore appropriate if someone is just concerned about them.

Ok, rant over...maybe I will get flamed and then walk away and one of my friends will bump this for me in a month or two...

 

[hentob]

*bump*






I am feeling punchy this morning!

ETA--I know what you are talking about , and I agree.

 

[poohandwendy]

*bump*






I am feeling punchy this morning!

ETA--I know what you are talking about , and I agree.

There is always a smartalec in every bunch...I should have seen that coming!

 

[DisneyPRPrincess]

That is the simple reason why items of a sensitive nature should not be posted on a forum of this size. People come on for sympathy, get it, and then when updates are requested people are left hanging. You've peaked peoples interest.

I personally do not put it on the same level as ambulance chasing though. Ambulance chasers happen upon a situation without an invitation. In this case the OP invited everyone into his/her world. Very different.

My advice would not go to the readers, but to the OP of these highly sensitive threads. Think TWICE before posting extremely personal items on a forum.

 

[MushyMushy]

Which thread in particular are you referring to? I'm not sure what you're talking about -- I take it this isn't a general vent about bumping...

 

[poohandwendy]

That is the simple reason why items of a sensitive nature should not be posted on a forum of this size. People come on for sympathy, get it, and then when updates are requested people are left hanging. You've peaked peoples interest.

I personally do not put it on the same level as ambulance chasing though. Ambulance chasers happen upon a situation without an invitation. In this case the OP invited everyone into his/her world. Very different.

My advice would not go to the readers, but to the OP of these highly sensitive threads. Think TWICE before posting extremely personal items on a forum.

Oh come on, people should be able to come here and vent or share without 'owing' the DIS an update on their personal life.

Peoples curiosity does not need to be sated at the expense of the people who are hurting.

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

That is the simple reason why items of a sensitive nature should not be posted on a forum of this size. People come on for sympathy, get it, and then when updates are requested people are left hanging. You've peaked peoples interest.

I personally do not put it on the same level as ambulance chasing though. Ambulance chasers happen upon a situation without an invitation. In this case the OP invited everyone into his/her world. Very different.

My advice would not go to the readers, but to the OP of these highly sensitive threads. Think TWICE before posting extremely personal items on a forum.

I agree. OP, I know what you're saying, but I do have to agree that a choice is made to post on a public forum, inviting readers into their world. No flames, though... just an opinion.

 

[poohandwendy]

Any good reason people can't take it to a pm if they are so "concerned/worried"?

 

[meandtheguys2]

I think that people sometimes post in a moment of shock, and then other posters keep it alive, out of concern or just plain curiosity.

eta: I think they bumb, because they believe that others share the concern. It becomes a group therapy of sorts.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Any good reason people can't take it to a pm if they are so "concerned/worried"?

I think maybe because it will bring out other DISers who will be like, "Oh yeah, I remember this. I've been wondering about this as well. OP are you ok?' kind of thing. Maybe.

 

[phorsenuf]

I think it depends on the thread, but I know what you're saying. There are a couple threads that come to mind that I (and I suspect others) would like to know the outcome. Some people go out of their way to give very helpful responses, find links and resources for people and then nothing. Yes, I suppose we could send a pm or 2 or 3 or 50.

In my opinion though if somebody is going to come on ask for advice and help and it gets up to say a 10 page post of people concerned (interested, nosy, whatever), then I think that poster should come back and at least give and update or say something to the effect of the matter had been resolved and I appreciate everyones help on it. If they want to share more info fine and if not just say so. But I think to just leave people hanging sometimes is not the way to do it.

Do we have the right to know what happened, of course not but like I said if people go out of their way with advice and such it just seems like coutersy to me. Even if they don't share the outcome.

Does that make sense? I can't seem to get my thoughts in order this morning.

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

I think maybe because it will bring out other DISers who will be like, "Oh yeah, I remember this. I've been wondering about this as well. OP are you ok?' kind of thing. Maybe.

I was thinking this, too... but maybe that is the OP's original point. Bringing up something painful and reminding others about it could, in the long run, be hurtful.

Hmmmm.. guess I'm seeing both sides of this now.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I was thinking this, too... but maybe that is the OP's original point. Bringing up something painful and reminding others about it could, in the long run, be hurtful.

Hmmmm.. guess I'm seeing both sides of this now.

I see what you mean. But if I posted something like this I would expect it to be bumped at some point asking for an update. I think that's the risk you take when you post such things.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think it depends on the thread, but I know what you're saying. There are a couple threads that come to mind that I (and I suspect others) would like to know the outcome. Some people go out of their way to give very helpful responses, find links and resources for people and then nothing. Yes, I suppose we could send a pm or 2 or 3 or 50.

In my opinion though if somebody is going to come on ask for advice and help and it gets up to say a 10 page post of people concerned (interested, nosy, whatever), then I think that poster should come back and at lease give and update or say something to the effect of the matter had been resolved and I appreciate everyones help on it. If they want to share more info fine and if not just say so. But I think to just leave people hanging sometimes is not the way to do it.

Do we have the right to know what happened, of course not but like I said if people go out of their way with advice and such it just seems like coutersy to me. Even if they don't share the outcome.

Does that make sense? I can't seem to get my thoughts in order this morning.

I do understand what you are saying. I am not talking about people asking 'what happened' for a little while after the OP disappears. I am talking about weeks going by after TONS of 'what happened/thinking of you' posts and then even more time going by and people bumping it again and again. Not only that, but continual updates on when the OP has been on the DIS without responding to the thread. Sheesh....it gets ridiculous.

 

[DisneyPRPrincess]

I think it depends on the thread, but I know what you're saying. There are a couple threads that come to mind that I (and I suspect others) would like to know the outcome. Some people go out of their way to give very helpful responses, find links and resources for people and then nothing. Yes, I suppose we could send a pm or 2 or 3 or 50.

In my opinion though if somebody is going to come on ask for advice and help and it gets up to say a 10 page post of people concerned (interested, nosy, whatever), then I think that poster should come back and at lease give and update or say something to the effect of the matter had been resolved and I appreciate everyones help on it. If they want to share more info fine and if not just say so. But I think to just leave people hanging sometimes is not the way to do it.

Do we have the right to know what happened, of course not but like I said if people go out of their way with advice and such it just seems like coutersy to me. Even if they don't share the outcome.

Does that make sense? I can't seem to get my thoughts in order this morning.

Exactly.

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

I do understand what you are saying. I am not talking about people asking 'what happened' for a little while after the OP disappears. I am talking about weeks going by after TONS of 'what happened/thinking of you' posts and then even more time going by and people bumping it again and again. Not only that, but continual updates on when the OP has been on the DIS without responding to the thread. Sheesh....it gets ridiculous.

I think I'm getting your point now. If the OP lets it go and is not responding, then either PM if you really have to know, or let it go, right?

 

[poohandwendy]

I think I'm getting your point now. If the OP lets it go and is not responding, then either PM if you really have to know, or let it go, right?

That is what i am saying...

 

[snowwite]

I think there should be an option for an OP to close thier own thread. I have started them before and wished I could close it but only a mod can do that and I found jerks can still go to old threads and stir trouble.

 

[Allison]

I have to agree with you OP. I think it goes overboard sometimes. When it gets to the point of people posting the last time someone logged on, I think that has gone too far. Of course, that's my opinion only and other people are comfortable with other things.

 

[DisneyPRPrincess]

Oh come on, people should be able to come here and vent or share without 'owing' the DIS an update on their personal life.

Peoples curiosity does not need to be sated at the expense of the people who are hurting.

Then they should prepare themselves for people asking for updates. Goes with the territory. The same way the poster of the sensitive information has the right to vent, the readers have a right to ask for updates. I in no way am saying that they should update if they don't feel like it. I think a simple "The situation is being taken care of. Thank you for allowing me to vent, and thanks for all the support and well wishes." PERIOD!

But if the OP doesn't do that, then that is when we get the BTT posts. I am sure if the OP had taken the time to think before posting, they probably wouldn't have posted that information. That is why I am of the belief, think before you post.