Just a friendly question on Kids and keys.

[mommasita]

Hi, please keep this friendly... I really don't want an ugly mess out of this, just honest opinions.

At what age do you think your child is/was mature enough to have a housekey of their own, and to stay home 30 min..

Reason: DH just started new job , but now my shift overlaps 1/2 hour. School is out at 2:22, we live across the street, like directly. I finish at 2:30, and will be home by 3.

My thought was to start testing DS11 with a key to see how it goes on entry, and letting him come home with DD8 and wait for me. Our tenant upstairs will be there(nice older lady), friend of family, and he will have ORDERS to call me ASAP.

He is mature, good, reliable, and a true good kid. They both know the rules, no electronics, etc..

THoughts?

 

[LaraK]

I got a house key when I was 8. My step brother (who was 5) and I used to walk home and stay in the house alone for short periods of time. I'm still alive.

 

[iloveboardwalk]

Sounds fine to me, I had a key when I was 9, my brother, then 11 would get home just after me and we would be home for about an hour or so before my mom got home.

 

[PlutosFriend]

I have been wondering the same thing. My ds just turned 9. He knows the code to our garge door pad, just in case, but he doesn't have a desire to stay home alone, even for 5 minutes I am thinking of taking him to a class that a local hospital offers. It starts at age 9. I thought that might help his confidence. And at this age, I wouldn't leave him long. Maybe 15 minutes here and there. And never alone with his younger sister who is 7. They would fight!

 

[ckay87]

My kids have had keys as long as they've been in school. Yes, that would be kindergarten. It turned out that I always was home in time for them, but I always was afraid that I'd get stuck in traffic, or worse, in an accident or something. I always wanted to make sure they had a place to be. Being home alone at 6 years old would have been safer than being in the street alone at 6 years old.

As far as being home alone. At age 11, trust your instinct. For example, I'm still uneasy about my 14 year old being home alone. But my DS, 10, really has a good head on his shoulders. It's a real borderline age, so you're safe to rely on your instincts. Have a cell phone at the ready at all times and you're good.

 

[KiminChicago]

My 10 year old has a key, if he remembers to use it. Two weeks ago he was supposed to stay after school for an art class, I was at the school for a Girl Scout troop meeting with his sister.

After the troop meeting, I went to check on him, but he hadn't gone to the class! I was praying all the way home that he just decided to go home and let himself in with his key. When I got home, I had a phone message from a friend in the neighborhood letting me know that my son was at her house with her son. He had forgotten he had the house key in his backpack!

 

[SwedishMeatball]

When my daughter was in third grade (9yo) and I was still teaching, she'd ride the bus home and be alone for less than an hour.

 

[autumnbaby9]

My parents gave me a key at 9 when I started to walk myself and my brother home from school (school was 2 block away). However my brother was not given a key until he was about 13 because my parents never trusted him to be home alone so he didin't need one.

Trust your instints(SP?), if you feel he is ready for it he probbaly is.

 

[va32h]

My daughter is 11 and we have been experimenting with leaving her home alone for short periods of time, up to a half hour. She's very responsible, and she's been fine. We have rules - no using the oven, no opening the front door, etc.

She's fine with it. But some kids aren't. She has a friend the same age who stays home alone after school for about three hours and is very lonely and nervous.

I could not leave my son home with my daughter though - they would fight, and it would be a disaster!

 

[dawn8226]

It depends on the child, but from what you have said your should be fine particularly with a tenant upstairs that you trust. I wouldn't worry about it, as long as the kids are comfortable with it. My daughter has stayed home alone since she was 9. At first I worried a lot, but I have her call me as soon as she gets home so I know she is there and we have a lot of rule (no friends in, no answering the door, don't tell anyone who calls that you are there alone, homework has to get done before watching TV), we also have a big dog (to help scare any crazies off). Plus she is only alone for a hour or so. She is a good kid and I trust her. We also have a key hidden in case she loses hers, and we have gone over what she should do if various situations arise (fire, locked out, stranger bugging her on walk home, etc.). Sometimes I feel a bit paranoid with as much as I talk to her about issues that could arise, but I feel its better to have discussed it and worked out a plan then to be unprepared.
Good luck, I'm sure it will be fine.

 

[Squidrific]

I agree with many of the above posters. It completely depends upon the child. My dd11 rides the bus home every day and is in the house for less than an hour before dh or I get home. She has to call me the minute she gets home to check-in and also has to let the dogs out in the yard around the house. We also live in a very quiet neighborhood in a small town.

It just depends upon your own comfort level with the situation and with your own child.

 

[Hannathy]

I think they would be fine. Mine did that occasionally from 3rd gr on. If you have a garage consider one of the keyless pad entry systems they are cheap and then you don't have to worry about them losing a key, and even if they di sitting on the porch for a half an hour never killed anyone.

 

[MomofKatie]

My mom let DBrother and I stay home alone from the ages of 9 (me) and 13 (brother). Unfortunately, she didn't have much of a choice- it was during the recession of the mid '70s, and she and my dad both had to work full time.

We were new to the area, and didn't have any friends or relatives to stay with. Mom and dad were barely making ends meet, so they didn't have extra $$ for babysitters. We turned out fine- we were home by ourselves for a couple of hours each day.

 

[ilovejack02]

I guess my oldest was 10 or 11 and i would run to the corner store to grab milk with him at home. I watched two little girls this past summer 9 and 10 and they go home for about 45 mins a cpl of days a week alone. I think its totally up to the child.

 

[mommasita]

Thanks for the responses. The losing the key thing is a fear of mine. Think I should give DD one also? In case DS loses it. I trust and care for my tenant, but don't want her to HAVE her own key kwim? So tomorrow is the test for DS. 30 min won't be too bad, if that goes well, it all will follow suit...They argue like every other bro and sis, but not so bad. I trust them both, and they have MAJOR groundrules to follow..

Thanks for the opinions, if there are more, always welcome.

 

[VirtuallyMe]

I think I got a house key when I was 11-12 but only because before then my parents or older siblings would have been with me to get home from school or where-ever else- so not a big deal- I got my key because mom got a job and I rode the bus home and needed to get in- she had been leaving me home alone for short times since I was 8-9 (of course that was 30 years ago lol)

My oldest two kids have keys- oldest son got his in 6th grade- again he was riding the bus and he would be ariving home to sometimes empty house- My oldest dd got her key at 10 because she would ride her bike or walk to school some days and needed a way in if we weren't home

My youngest dd is 9 and has asked for a key- I have told her she doesn't need one quite yet- and is the type to lose things anyway so I think she needs to wait longer.

I really think it depends on the kids and neighborhood and factors like that. At 11 I think it is perfectly fine for the son to supervise an 8yo sibling for 30 minutes-

Just curious- is there anyway they could doddle at school? Our pick up time is 30 minutes after school lets out- which would be cutting it close but would probably allow the kids to remain at school supervised if you were worried.

About lost keys- we gave dd a sturdy chain that went under her clothing to wear her key on- she was told not to share that she had it and that if she ever came home and got any feeling that something was wrong to go straight to a neighbors house... of course she was rarely home alone long when she was younger- ds's school bus would make it back about the time she would get home too- and he is 4 years older...

We also have always reviewed the latch key rules- of
call when you get in,
lock door behind you,
never answer the door no matter who it is- (once had my mom come by to pick up the kids to go shopping for something and she had to call me to have them let her in lol)
Don't answer the phone unless it was mom, dad, grandparents etc
No friends home with you
And limited to what they could cook/eat

 

[mommasita]

No doodling at all. Gate is locked 10 min after the bell. Most kids do daycare. I could go this route, but 7$ per day per child for 30 min? DS will kill me I think. As he would be one of the oldest there. We are testing this tomorrow, it is going to be milk, my tenant knows and is on the lookout, and I am 30 min (latest)after them...

BTW, this is only 1 or 2 times per week maximum.