Just a bad day

[tacomaranch]

I really need to vent and my mom isn't home to listen to me and offer a shoulder. I hope fellow DISability folks can just give me a bit of support here.

I am moving from my lovely 43 acre ranch in star valley, Wy where my family is, my horses, my life to Logan so my son can attend a school for autism.

However I went down 4 times but could never find anything with a fenced yard and cars were going down every road. The roads are big and the people take them to cut from the main roads when they are busy.

So, I found an apt in N. Logan. Here is the problem. After he goes to the autism school there is 1 developmental preschool that will pick up the kids from the autism school by bus and take them to the preschool. I moved out of the district.

There is a preschool in N. Logan but they wont' bus him from the autism school.

URG!!! I have really tried to find an apt that would be safe in Logan but I just can't find one. I need the preschool so I can get a job and not end up homeless.

Friends, what on earth can I do? I have asked for a school choice waiver, they said no. Both school refuse to help.

Do I just give up and take any place to go to school that will bus. Do I keep our safe and happy apt and pick up DS from autism school and drive him to preschool. Not get a job?

What do you think? I am just so torn up being told by each person a different answer and being bounced around.

I am just having a bad day!

 

[freckles and boo]

You do sound like you had a bad day! I wish I had the answer for you. Could you take a part-time job or even save your lunch hour to drive him yourself? I am so sorry that the schools won't work with you on this. Can't they offer you any better solution? Good luck to you and your little boy.

 

[KirstenB]

I'm sorry for your dilemma. Would you have any interest in working at his preschool? Or at the autism school? The reason I ask, is because I signed up to substitute teach at dd's elementary school. I wound up working 5 days a week! The pay wasn't great, but I loved having her hours. I know other moms who are the school secretary, lunchroom mom, serve as an aide, etc just to be on the same hours as their children. I hope you find a solution, it seems like a tough situation.

 

[Schmeck]

Are there any private bus companies you could hire to do the transportation? I've seen them here in Massachusetts - they pick up kids at school and take them to the rink, club, etc.

 

[dclfun]

I would speak with someone at the School Board and also if there's a support group in your area, ask about carpooling or other resources. Will your son have an aide? Perhaps it can be written in the IEP that he needs to be accompanied by his aide to/from afterschool. It seems like somehow you could be offered transportation so you can choose the better location. I know how you feel. We live four miles out of the "city" here in Lakeland and as such there is NO bus service at all. I was told to get the special bus door-to-door service I'd have to ride in my w/c the four miles to pick it up which defeats the purpose of door-to-door. Basically if my van breaks down, I'm trapped in my home as I can only ride in an accessible van or bus. Transportation needs for the disabled are sorely lacking and esp. in your case for a child who can't ride solo. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through so much right now and hope this gets resolved so you'll have one less thing on your plate. ---Kathy

 

[BeckyScott]

That sort of thing is why I've never had a full-time job. Ugh.

Maybe someone else knows more about this, but isn't the school district required to put him into a preschool (and provide transportation?)? Isn't that part of IDEA? Or since he's already going to an autism school, did they get an "out"? I didn't have that issue, the SpEd preschool here bussed him from our door, I guess I didn't realize how lucky I was.

Also, is he getting SSI? That would help a little bit financially. The kid's rate sure isn't enough to live on, but it does help.

 

[tacomaranch]

Morning friends,

I woke at 2:05 am and have been up since. It is really bothering me and having no sleep doesn't help me function better.

Yes, I do get SSI and DS gets dependents SSI. Total for both of us. $888. Rent $450, internet and cable $55.

It has really come down to making a choice. Have a nice safe place to live in a nice neighborhood and drive DS to and from the autism school, then to afternoon preschool. $450 pay cable and internet, big, safe, end of street, grass, next to park. Most likely no job

Or, living in the college campus family housing. $485 free cable, no internet. Quad for the kids to play in. Folks stacked on top of each other, very very small and I think there will be many children, good but because it is on the quad Hunter needs just one little thing to distract and he is off course again. We would get the afternoon preschool. Definitely a job.

DS has never been in school all day and now I just wonder if maybe the 4 hours of autism school will be more than enough? Does he really need afternoons also?

In the end, I must make a choice and do it quickly. I must do what is best for my DS and it has to be something I can live with.

I am going to keep praying. I have asked DH for help but he is very busy with school starting and stressed.

Please just keep me in your prayers. I guess we have a little more stress than others as parents of NT's.

Blessings, April

 

[Luv Bunnies]

You know, if your son is still a preschooler, the 4 hours a day might be plenty for him right now. I work in a special ed preschool class and we have a few autistic kids. Our class is only 3 hours and some of the kids get an hour or two of therapy before or after class. The kids who attend 2 schools a day tend to get very tired about 1/2 way through the day. If they get 4 hours of school and then go home or to daycare where they can rest, they do fine. If they go off to another school where they are expected to work more then some of them are too tired.

If you do want to transport him out of the district, there might be some other options. In our area, we have a company called Kid's Kab. You can hire them to take kids between schools or to activities. Maybe there's something like that in your area? We've also had parents hire people to transport their kids if they couldn't do it (maybe a neighbor, college student, or another parent in the class).


I hope everything works out for you!

 

[KathyRN137]

DH and I had an argument the other day. He wants to retire from his high-stress police job and get out of this congested North Jersey area. He wants to move somewhere more "peaceful and quiet."

Well, he can retire if he wants, but I absolutely will not move because I do not want to deal with the kinds of struggles you are facing with your school district. Normally I am flexible, but on this point I will not budge.

What can I say? Autism stinks.

I wish you well and pray that all works out.

Kathy

 

[melomouse]

Hi April -
Just found your post and not sure if you remember me but I sure have a prayerful spot in my heart for you and know that you will be guided in the right direction.

You've done sooo much thinking and research on this one. Maybe let it go and the answers will come.

Our days with these kids are a like Big Thunder Mountain, I think. I know how hard it can be some days.

Sending love & pixiedust your way!

 

[Schmeck]

That sort of thing is why I've never had a full-time job. Ugh.

Maybe someone else knows more about this, but isn't the school district required to put him into a preschool (and provide transportation?)? Isn't that part of IDEA? Or since he's already going to an autism school, did they get an "out"? I didn't have that issue, the SpEd preschool here bussed him from our door, I guess I didn't realize how lucky I was.

Also, is he getting SSI? That would help a little bit financially. The kid's rate sure isn't enough to live on, but it does help.

I think she wants to put him in a school that is out of the district?

 

[tacomaranch]

Thank you for all the prayers and support. In the end the Logan city school district said no, DS must go to the Cache valley school where I live and I will have to pick him up for the USU ASSERT autism school and drive him to the afternoon preschool in Cache valley each day.

I wanted to have my cake and eat it too! In fact, it was selfish and self centered. I wanted to get a job, and by having DS bussed I could do it. However, I have moved here for DS, for a school to help him. I need to stay focused and remember that there is sacrifices to be made and they are for DS. I can think of no better reason.

I have been to DVR and also to Desert Industries but both have been unable to help me. I am just not going to give up. I will find a little 3 hour job somewhere and right now, I don't even know how much my TBI will affect a job that I do take.

Did you know that 75% of people with a TBI who try to work end up losing their job in 90 days if they don't have support? I just read that yesterday.

I have looked in city for an apt, even again today. We have a great, safe, clean, roomy apt and last nite DS was outside playing with the other kids! They like him! They don't know he is SN. It is wonderful!

We are going to keep our nice place, learn to live in this city and make the most of the year.

Most important is the thanks to all of you for keeping us in your prayers and thoughts. I have faith and I believe it really did help us.

Blessings, April