Julie's continual struggle (WW thread - comments VERY welcome!!)

[Mykelogan]

Hi Julie!!

Definitely praying for your husband and his job. That is not good news to hear I am sure especially since there is no definite info yet!
That talking Dory sounds like such fun and a great motivating tool to just keep swimming towards your goals (I hear Jen's voice in there somewhere! hehe).

I hope that you have a nice relaxing evening and get some restful sleep!

Bye for now!
Mike

 

[goldcupmom]

I THINK I'm beginning to knock whatever this is I have. I sure hope so.

I'm going to try to do my usual liquid day today even though it is VERY unlikely I will go to WW tomorrow. There are several elderly women in my WW that are on continual oxygen and I would rather not risk giving this to anyone. If I wasn't coughing so much I wouldn't worry about it, but.....

It is apparently quite contagious as I've now heard of numerous people who have it who we were with in FL. Including my Dsis who is on chemo. She is AWFUL. She's seeing her Dr. today for her Procrit shot and cleaning her picc line so hopefully they will give her something. Next week she has a 2 hour long iron IV. ICK!!!

The only thing I know for certain about today is that I have to pay bills, finish unpacking and go to the Cyber School meeting tonight. I already feel like a nap would be wonderful, but it is doubtful.

DD couldn't decide what movie to watch and I really didn't care, so we ended up playing Phase 10 instead. It's a rather mindless game, so I could handle it last night.

 

[Mykelogan]

Hi Julie,

Sending healing vibes your way!
Sorry to hear that you are still not feeling better. When I went to WDW at the millenium new year I brought back what i called the "Super Flu". It knocked me out for a week and then proceeded to decimate my office. I hope that everyone in your family feels better soon too!!

Have the best day you can and get well soon!
Mike

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Hey Jules! Just said a prayer for you and yours. Feel better, all righty? you're doing the right thing by not going to WW tonight.

Mike-Which Jen? JUST KEEP SWIMMING, Jules!

 

[Mykelogan]

Mike-Which Jen? !

hehehe! I hadn't thought about how many Jens I could have meant! hehe
I think at that moment I was thinking Jen who is Joelyfaithsmom... but add a rhyming cheer line and it would be you of course!! hehe

 

[goldcupmom]

I just did the unthinkable here.... I took a NAP!!! When DD was still asleep at 10:15 I crawled in bed with a book and by 10:30 decided to sleep. Slept almost an hour & a half. Still tired, but it felt good.

I had one Pria around 9:30 and just had my 2nd, so 6 pts so far.

Whatever this is that we have it's NASTY. I just got an IM from my Dsis and they have put her in bed with an antibiotic IV. She has as close to ZERO white blood cells left as you can get. Makes me SAD!! Her next chemo, which should be her next to last, is scheduled for the 27, but if her counts don't go up they will have to postpone it. Praying double time.

DD just got up and says she MIGHT feel a little better this morning. She slept for over 15 hours. I figure she will be better tomorrow after some more doses of antibiotics. Hurting ears aren't fun.

I wish the heat here would break a little. Where are the monsoons??????? I want RAIN!! It's 92 now and climbing fast. Supposed to break 100 again. Almost time to turn the swamp cooler on. Last night I had to run it til after 10 and it was still hot in here.

Enough rambling..... gotta go try to talk DD into going to run errands. I want my nice cold KEVA.

 

[Lesli54]

Still trying to catch up on your journal. What an experience to be at two evacuation points. That must have felt strange.

I hope that you guys are feeling better soon and pray that your sister gets that count up. Take care and have a better day!

 

[goldcupmom]

Well, yesterday afternoon was a total food disaster. I left DD at home and ran to get some groceries. Did the small health market then Wally World. Of Course WW took forever. I found out from DS19 who works there that this is the busiest super WM in the country except the one right outside of DWorld. From WM with frozen stuff I ran to Keva to get DD and I smoothies. They had an order for 16 in front of me so that took a long time. While I was waiting I looked at my WM bill and they had charged me twice for a 12 pk of slimfast (I finally found the Optima which is the same nutrition as the Kashi that I can't get anymore) So, back to WM to get my $10 back. On the way out I ran into DS19's HS girlfriend and her mom who are worried about him (they still see each other on and off) We talk for like 20 minutes and I find out that this mom even offered for Ben to move into their MIL quarters (they have big $$) So I leave them at 4:00 and I'm supposed to meet my friend at the possible school thing at 4:15.

Get home at 4:12 have DD help unload the perishibles. By this time my Keva is mostly warm so I pitch half of it, but I'm starving. Grab a piece of cold pizza. Get to the school thing and sit there until almost 7. Starving, I grab a 1/2 brownie & a cookie - both chocolate and comfort foods. Then I get home and the smell of the pizza overwhelms me and have another slice. Later I had a WW choc cupcake. BAD BAD BAD............

But, on the positive note.

The school sounds PERFECT. It uses the same platform that DS16 uses now,and it is 24/7/365. The only adjustment he will really have is that his deadlines will be by semester, not by calendar year. They will accept all his credits from Keystone and he can take more from there if we want. If he gets accepted, he will be assigned and Instructional Supervisor (IS) and the IS and I and DS will sit down and plan out his deadlines, etc. He can do everything at home just like he does, or go there. T-Mobile has donated all new cubicles and Intel all new computers so each kid will have their own space and they will be open w/ teachers there from 7 a.m. - 8 p.m. M - F. He will get a diploma from the big HS and can participate in any activities through there. I'm sold. I'll fill out the Pre-Enrollment application and drop it off tonight (but avoid the brownies )

DH had a fire drill at work and met up with one of the 'new' bosses who happened to be going over DH org chart at the time. DH has about 300 people under him and then he is also under himself doing a double job with about 50 people more directly reporting to him. So, the new boss says that he will keep 2 of the position that DH is filling in for and that he wants to meet with DH and another guy(the new boss' fav who has been with him forever) I think next week. He said the positions will have to be formally posted and that the 2 of them need to be checking the postings twice daily. This could be good. Praying hard.

On the food front. Breakfast was egg beaters(the cheese/chive kind)(1), 2 ww tortillas (2) and ff cheese(1) salsa. I haven't been getting all my water in since I got home and I WILL today. I also just finished the WATP 2 mile. I think with the crud I need to start back slow. Plus it's just plain miserable hot here. All a swamp cooler really does is put humidity in the air via a big fan that blows over a pan of running water and it blows thru your air ducts, so it doesn't really get cool in here.

I've gotta try to get motivated to get stuff done around here today. More later..... Have a good one y'all!

 

[pearlieq]

Don't feel too bad--I think Joan of Arc herself would have cracked under the pressure of all you've got swirling around you. We can deal with a few pieces of pizza and some sweets!!!

I hope things get better soon. Sending PPD for you, your DH, and DS. I really admire you for holding it all together--you're a very strong woman!!!

 

[goldcupmom]

Lunch was baked lays & ff cottage cheese. I like to dip the chips in it. (6) and 1 ww mint (1)

DD is STILL asleep and it's 1:00 here. WOW!!

 

[Mykelogan]

Wow sounds like there are a lot of things going on in Julietown!!
That is very cool about the school for your DS16 and the potential good news jobwise for your DH.
With all the stress you share here I am so impressed with how well you are making healthy food choices and remembering to care for yourself. That is excellent!

I hope that you have a wonderful night!!
Mike

 

[rcyannacci]

Hey Julie- just stopping in to say hi. I hope you are feeling better- the flu is the pits!!!

Talk about an epic trip report!!! Sounds like you had a great trip, but arrived home just in time. Stress will be inevitable with the situations you're dealing with, but you seem to be doing great! Just try to let go of the things you know you can't control so you can focus your energy where it will help the most.

Hope you have a good weekend, and it's not too, too hot.

 

[Zela]

Hey Julie

Just wanted to say hi . Hope your having a great (stress free) day!

 

[goldcupmom]

Painfully honest time here. I have been an eating machine today. UGH!!!!!!

Last night was the 2nd night in a row I've barely slept. Between PMS problems, still, and the stress over DS19, I get in bed and my mind goes full force. After 2 prayerful days I wrote DS19 a letter this morning and delivered it to his apartment. I think it was a blessing that DS was gone and I gave it (2 copies) to his older roommate. The roommate read and said it was good, and that he would try to talk to DS about it. Had I given it directly to DS he would have just blown up. Maybe this way he will consider some options. I know this is OT, but I'm gonna paste it here for comments from some of the wiser of this bunch. I simply cannot talk to DH about it as he has enough stress at this time. So, the letter will be my next post.

Breakfast started out ok -small banana w/ peanut butter. Then stress hit and I ate 6 WW candies (1 pt ea) Went to DS, then back home. at 11 I couldn't deal any longer so managed a nap - until after 1. Then DD and I ran to Costco - bought yummy stuff like multicolor peppers, blueberries, mango salsa, tuna, mushrooms. On the way we both realized we were starving and used a BOGO coupon for KEVA. I had a new one - 6 pts instead of my usual 5 - something like raspberry pucker - raspberries, lemons, lime sherbert, oranges .... It was good, but not great. It was tart enough to help in the 100 degree heat, tho.

By the time we left Costco it was 4:15 and DD suggested dinner at Sweet Tomatoes. Called DH and he said he would leave now. Well, we stood at ST until after 5 when DH called and said he got stuck w/ the program manager. Finally at almost 6 he arrived. I did ok on the salad part - just the greens & a small spoon of olives, one of sunflower seeds & a 1/2 of ff dressing. Then I decided for some chilli - was I NUTS in 100 heat????? I only ate 4 bites but doctored it with cheese. OUCH!!! That wasn't the bad part. I ate Cherry cobbler with ff yogurt! I wasn't hungry, it was purely impulse/stress. It was really good, tho!

Came home and DH pulled out the "Big Bag" "Cheese Crunchers" (very direct marketing at Costco - no mistaking what that item is) and I grabbed about 6 of them - like cheetos.

Took a bath and he was eating sunchips when I got out and I had a handful of those.

Needless to say, we start the 100 cheat free over tomorrow.

DS16 just called from work and they wanted him to stay til 10:30 - if it's ok w/ his 'mommy'. Today is 'Cow appreciation day' at Chick Fil A and if you go in dressed in cow spots you get a free meal. It was SO tempting to me, just to embarass DS16, but it is another thing I didn't get done. Basically since I've been back I have accomplished nothing - depressed I guess - this too shall pass. CFA is a really good company for teens - or at least this one is. The 'owner' is incredible (I would be, too, probably if I'd grossed over 2 million in 7 months. He just bought a Condo in Orlando - wonder if he'll let me borrow it??????

Thanks for your support all ..... It has been raining here tonight - actually STORMING. Surprisingly, I love storms, so it has been a bit of a blessing. It's already 70 and last night at this time it was still 90. Unfortunately, DS16 will have a wet seat on the cycle. Oh well......

 

[goldcupmom]

1. I will pay off your past due bills/overdraft checks that are about to get you jailed. You are now working only to pay overdraft fees so you can then accrue more before the next paycheck arrives. This MUST STOP!!!! It is a vicious cycle and one that will kill you financially.

2. I will pay off your Credit Card so you don’t have the 30% interest. You will pay me back IN CASH over the next 12 weeks for the Credit Card amount(this time can be extended if needed and agreed upon by us both)

3. You will handle your cell phone problems, your bank account problems and any monies owed to friends.

4. You will move home so you have no bills. You will pay $50/week for your room/board/internet/utilities and $25/week of that I will credit to the over $4000 you owe me.

5. You will get bills caught up and begin saving money for college until you have a 1 semester tuition ‘cushion’ in the bank. You will learn to put a small amount into a savings account and NOT use it.

6. You will cut up your credit card and close the account and not reopen until you can get one with reasonable interest AND use it responsibly.

7. We will work on teaching you budgeting skills and checkbook management. You DO NOT buy what you CAN NOT pay for. That is what has gotten you in this predicament.

8. You will keep your debit card but learn to record EVERYTHING you use it for WHEN you use it.

9. You will continue to work as many hours as possible at WalMart and not do anything to jeopardize your job. I will provide an air cleaner or other white noise to help keep the house quiet so you can sleep days better.

10. You will re-enroll in college no later than January part time and summer/fall full time and you will complete a degree in SOMETHING.

11. You will live at home until such time as you can prove that you are financially able to support yourself, mature enough to do so, and can continue your degree while doing so.

12. You will not drink, smoke, do drugs - ALL of which have cost you money, possessions and your former lifestyle /dignity.

13. You will follow some simple house rules:
a) no illegal activities in or outside the house
b) no overnight guests without prior approval
c) you will try to curb your foul language
d) you will keep your areas reasonably clean and clean up after yourself
e) you will help with simple things as needed – animals, trash, etc. – and without foul language, bad attitude.
f) you will, as is only common courtesy, keep us informed of your comings/goings
ie: if you intend to stay at Brocks, you let me know so I don’t worry. If you aren’t going to be here for a meal that was planned, you let me know
g) you will begin paying off the over $4000 you owe me for back car payments,
car insurance, car repairs, UNM past due bills on the scholarship you lost, paying off your creditors, your tv, etc. This can be done slowly, but you must begin taking responsibility
h) you will be part of the family – family is not a bad thing.

 

[goldcupmom]

I will:
a) bail you out financially ONE LAST TIME!!!!!
b) ensure that you have a vehicle to drive unless YOU cause problems to jeopardize that
c) provide medical coverage
d) provide dental coverage
e) provide eye coverage and pay for your contacts/glasses
f) help with obtaining financial aid for college
g) provide plenty of food, utilities, home, phone( so you can get the minimum cell plan), cable & internet
h) provide basic toiletry, clothing, personal items as possible
i) help with supply items for school and books if I am able
j) provide food that you can take to work/school
k) LOVE you ALWAYS no matter what
l) Be here to help you learn to help yourself, but not enable your destructive behavior
I’m not trying to control your life. I’m trying to make it so that YOU can control your life. I’m tired of seeing you depressed and unhappy. You have a great mind that God has given you and I want to see you reach your potential.

So, that is my letter to DS19. Comments, suggestions? I hope I haven't made things worse. Thanks.....

 

[joelyfaithsmommy]

Wow Julie

I can't even imagine what you are going through with DS19, however I want to say that was an amazing letter, and he should be so proud and happy you are his mother...I think what you have laid out in that letter proves you have undivided love and support for your son. Just the fact that you are willing to come to his aid, yet give him respect, and still guide him so lovelingly proves you are a WONDERFUL mother...I hope to do so well in a position like that...

God bless you and parents like you for sticking it out, even when their kids don't realize what they have...someday, he'll realize and thank you for your love and devotion during his 'destructve' period...I think MANY kids do stuff like he has done, and MANY parents doen't deal with it so well....stay strong and KEPP ON SWIMMING JULIE!!! You are an AMAZING woman!!!

hugs to you
Jen

 

[goldcupmom]

Ok, Jen, you made me cry! Yes, I'm an emotional MESS at this time. Thanks for the support. It's so hard as mom to know if you are doing/saying the right thing.

Without you guys I'd be eating myself into oblivion right now. I've done it before - MANY times.

Just finished breakfast - decaf, Eng muffin w/ a smidge of PB & J. The banana & pb didn't do it yesterday.

Lunch will be a roll up I imagine and dinner I'm going to have DH grill Brats for them & ff hd for me.

More later..

 

[joelyfaithsmommy]

well i certianly didn't mean to make you cry, but I meant EVERY WORD I SAID...it's all true, you are AMAZING, and amazing woman and an amazing mom...keep on keeping on...this too shall pass, and you can raise your head HIGH in knowing you did a WONDERFUL job helping your son become a man, with love and support!

YOU'RE ONE OF MY HEROS!

Jen

 

[Mykelogan]

Hi Julie,

I am just in awe of your strength. Your letter to your son shows such love, caring, and true understanding. I am in tears. This is what I wish my parents would say to my sister who is taking herself down a similar path. I hope with all of my heart that your son will be able to see past any pride or false bravado he has built up in himself and realize that coming home is not a sign of weakness but a step towards showing he has faith in himself, his future, and his family. From what I have read before in your journal, I think many parents would have written their child off already, and that is why I admire so much your ability to see the good in him and his potential. I hope you know that if he turns away your more than generous offer it is a decision he is making and not because you did anything wrong in this letter. After 10years of working with adolescents entering college I have definitely learned that it is so hard when you see the destructive path someone is on and they can't see it for themselves. In that case it is up to them to want change, all we can do is be there to help when they are ready. And of course, once they have "bitten" the out stretched hand so many times, it may take a heck of a lot more reaching on their part to find it. I wish you and your family the best in this situation.

I hope that you are having a healthy & happy Saturday!!!
Mike