Journey back to ME!!- I'm getting bugged!!

[goldcupmom]

So, I'm here for some cyberhugs!!!

I let DS18 drive my bug to work at 3:45 a.m. At about 8:15, on his way home, I get a call with him crying telling me he'll quit school to get another job to pay to have it fixed. He rearended a truck that slammed on his brakes, then kept driving...at about 50 mph...He's fine, no airbags even deployed - makes me wonder - truck was not a scratch & the guy left. Glad no police report, etc, just insurance. I had to call it in & I HATE ins. cos as the only time I had to call them was an accident I was in in PHX that broke my hand, & then the surgery nearly killed me & caused panic attacks for years. In my mind, ins fights over that really contributed & I can't deal well with them.

I want to cry, but can't. As I told him, he's fine, car can be fixed, but I'm so upset... my car is all I have that's truly mine except for my dogs. I bought it by myself with every penny I got from my mom/dad's estate(wasn't much, huh? even though split among 6 kids). Probably won't hear about the car until sometime next week. Basically the round part in front of the hood is now a straight down shelf imprint of a large, flat, work truck bumper near the front. Broke the radiator I'm sure as fluid everywhere, one crack around left headlight/quarter panel, but not sure what else. No broken glass/lights. Probably hood, front quarters, & engine stuff. Couldn't open hood, but didn't try.

After all that I did actually run to WW. Down .4. As the WI lady says to me each week...."How are things? What is the crisis of the week?" She knows me too well!!! Still up .8 from before I missed 5 weeks, but I'll take it.

And, I find out that somehow, when DH insured the Yaris, the towing & rental ins on my bug got deleted, so , no rental car....unless I want to pay for it. Thus, we now have 5 people 1 car, 1 cycle working. DS18 did come & order the chain for his so it should be running in about a week, but he still can't ride it to school. Hopefully DH will be able to borrow his DSis car on Tues/Thurs as I also have to take DS21 & DD to work. Kids are just going to have to try to be patient when I can't be everywhere at once. DH, too!

So, the mini eggs are REALLY calling to me today. I will NOT give in....but I'd like to!!

4/18 29/87/100

starbucks(3)
baked tostitos(4)
cheese(5)
m&ms(2)

Life goes on! Now I really can't get motivated! Praying that he can sell a bug & a cycle soon so he has the money to license the other bug & drive it!!

More later..... Hope y'all are having a better Friday than I am!

 

[Lesli54]

Sending you lots of .

Sorry to hear about the car, but glad that you DS is alright. It is of great concern that the air bags didn't deploy though, so thankfully God was with your DS. I know how frustrating things are right now, but you are right, the family will have to learn to be patient with you trying to take care everyone's needs.

Congrats on the weight loss and great job of keeping the mini eggs at bay.

In the meantime, try to get some rest (probably leading to lack of motivation) and just take it one day at a time. I know it will all work out, things usually do, so remember to breathe through the car frustation and post here to vent. Hoping your days this weekend get better.

 

[pearlieq]

Oh, Julie. I'm so sorry. I'm glad your DS is OK, and I'm sure it will all eventually work out, but it just stinks. I can understand being attached to your car as "yours" and I hope it's not out of commission too long.

Good job picking yourself up and getting to WW and congrats on the loss! You have amazing reserves.

Take care of yourself for the next few days--I'm sure it's going to be stressful, so cut yourself some slack where you can.

I'll be thinking of you and we're hear to listen whenever you need us!

 

[traceycooper]

Oh dear Julie
The good news is:
DS was ok
Your bug will get fixed & you will get it back again
Its just the waiting & coping in the meantime.
hang in there it will all work out

 

[toystoryduo]

Julie (I'm surrounding you with hugs.)

I'm sorry to hear about your car, but glad to hear that your DS is okay. I know how hard this is. I am sending lots of prayers your way, WISH sis.

 

[goldcupmom]

I'm still here & hanging on. I literally spent all day Friday, Sat & Sun crying & eating. I think the most nutritious thing I had was a fat free hot dog. Yesterday was mostly no tears, but my food was chocolate & salt & vinegar chips. Wonderful, I know!

Still no news on the bug. DS18 is apparently really feeling guilty as he basically won't speak to me & when he does it's very impatient & grouchy. Oh well, life goes on.....

I have a to do list of about 23 items that need done this week, but can't see myself really accomplishing even half of it. Time will tell......

Hope all is ok with everyone else!

 

[keenercam]

Oh, sweetie, how in the world does one person cope with all you have on your plate? Sending you a huge hug! and truckloads of

 

[Lesli54]

Glad to see you back, even though things are still tough. Stress eating happens at a time like this, we all know that so take it easy on yourself. As for your list of things to do this week, just take them one at a time and do the best you can.

Keeping you in my prayers.

 

[pearlieq]

Good to see you and I'm glad to hear that you're hanging on. It is perfectly OK to take a few days to cry and to drown your sorrows in chocolate and potato chips. Sometimes you just need to do whatever it takes to get you through.

When you're done and you've processed this, you'll be ready to start fresh. Until then, just do the best you can and be kind to yourself.

I'll be thinking of you...

 

[toystoryduo]

Julie,

It's good to see you, WISH sis. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am praying for you.

 

[pearlieq]

Just checking in on you. I hope you're feeling a little better...

 

[goldcupmom]

Thanks, all! I'm semi back among the living!

To add insult to injury, TOM decided to attempt to make an appearance starting on 4/20, for the first time in 3 months. Nothing major, just feel HORRID & doing the drip,drop thing non stop. Lovely! But, it could be worse! I just found out that my nephew (42) and his wife(45) are expecting a SURPRISE in late fall! Now THAT would really send me over the edge!!!!!

The finally looked at my car yesterday. Basically missed the bumper where the airbag sensors are, so no airbags. All the components of the power steering are shot, the radiator, lots of little stuff, hood, fenders, light brackets, etc. Then they found some broken wires & after 2 hrs on the phone with VW, even VW can't figure out what they must have been to! Reassuring, huh? So, whenever they find that out, they will have to fix that, too. Anyway, almost 7k in damage so far & USAA has already issued the check. But, it will likely take a month to get back. DH of course wants us to rent a car for the next month.....NOT!!!! I can't even imagine what that would cost. Besides, he has his cycle & it's nearly summer here!! We can make do even if it will be inconvenient at times.

On the baby front, DNiece1 did not have MRSA, just a brown recluse spider bite. She went for another sonogram on Tuesday & Baby Taylor is finally head down, but not dropping (her 1st never dropped either & induction took 3 days). Assuming she does not go into labor they will put her in on Mother's day at night. So we'll miss that birth(but we were present for her 1st baby 18 mo ago). Only glitch is that in the latest sonogram 1 of the baby's kidneys seems to be not releasing fluid like it should. They will do an ultrasound shortly after birth. Dr. doesn't think it's anything serious. They estimate Taylor is already 6.5 lbs. OUCH!!

DNiece2 will be induced on 5/18. We arrive on 5/17! So far things look good here & baby Kacie has dropped already & is around 5 lbs. This DNiece2 had no problems 1st time. She's tall & REALLY REALLY REALLY tiny - like 110 at 8 mo pregnant!!

My DSis visited her Oncologist on Wed & is still cancer free - 3 years!! She is now on the 1x/yr visit plan instead of every 6 months.

Made it to WW this morning. down .2 which is nothing, but is OK considering the past week and is much better than moving up.

Still no one wanting to buy DS18 bug or his cycle. Prayers needed that both sell SOON!!! He's had stupid offers like to trade them for a computer, a 1970s beat up pick up, to sell for like 10% of what he's asking, etc, but nothing real. He's getting frustrated!! Which he doesnt' need since finals are 2 weeks away & he's already stressing about 'what if' he doesn't have a 2.5 & loses his scholarship! Poor kid!

DSil bought a new Corolla last Friday & on Saturday GAVE DS21 her 10 yr old Eclipse. It runs fine, looks almost new, but has a bad oil leak. He's thrilled. Now if he'll only go bring his bank account up to at least $0, get it insured, titled & licensed, we'll be making progress!! He just doesnt' grasp the concept of not having discretionary funds....like he has gone to the casino to play on his 1hr lunch break in the middle of the night! UGH!!!!!!

I'm still feeling the stress...mainly in my upper back & shoulders. As they start to relax they ache & feel totally worn out. But, that's where I always hold my stress.

The only exercise I've gotten is my ab stuff. Today is day 32, so I've done 6400 crunches!! Hopefully someday it will show on the outside

I'm very slowly getting a few things off my to do list. Still very little motivation or desire to do anything. I think I"m just physically & emotionally exhausted still. Since DS21 is driving again, we don't have to take him, but still have to be up at 10ish to make sure he lvs for work & then up at 3:15 to get DS18 up, take him, back to bed at about 4:30, then up at 5:45. Even if DH takes him, I still wake up & usually dont' get back to sleep or don't get any good sleep. Oh well....... Sleep is overrated anyway!!

I've got to try to get my house under control this weekend so that DS18 & I can shampoo carpets before I leave for FL in 23 days. Only 81 days til I leave the 2nd time & 94 til the cruise. I really need to get moving on the weight loss, too!

Hope everyone is well. Hopefully I'll get to journals soon!

Thanks for all you do for me! Y'all are the BEST!!!

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Julie
hope your feeling better!
You are well due lots of good things to come your way!

 

[toystoryduo]

Julie~ Sending more thoughts and prayers your way....Just think of how nice it will be to be in Florida and then to have the train ride home all to yourself.

Remember.....baby steps and take each day as it comes. I'm praying for you!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Julie, I am keeping your nieces and their upcoming childbirths in my prayers! I am so glad you will be there for the one, you are a good aunt!

I am soooo sorry about your car (glad ds18 is fine of course). I so understand how you must feel. Sometimes we moms don't get much in the way of our own stuff! That really stinks.

Thankful that your dsis is cancer free, what a relief for her and the rest of the family.

And that is great news ds21 has a car! I hope he gets all the insurance etc., worked out. Don't you wish you could just climb into his head and help him realize what is important? I have a nephew who is 24 and I must say, sometimes his thought process (or lack thereof) really makes me insane! I can only imagine when its your own kid.

You have so much on your plate, please hang in there. I think its great you lost .4 at the weigh in recently. Sorry about TOM. I am right there with you. I seem to go about every 2-4 months and I am ready to be done. I get hopeful then it shows up again. My mom just stopped having periods one month, no hot flashes, nothing. Of course she never had a menstrual cramp in her life and her labors ran in the area of less than three hours on average!

Just sending some 's and out to you!

 

[pearlieq]

Hi from Florida! You'll be here so soon!

I hope you're doing well!

 

[toystoryduo]

Julie,

Hope you're doing well and having a good week so far!

 

[traceycooper]

Hope your doing ok Julie

 

[goldcupmom]

I'm hanging in there, guys!!

Just a quick update before bed (the 3 hours I got last night after helping DD w/ school just weren't enough)

DNiece1 (due 5/17) went to OB today and she really does have MRSA!!! they started her on the meds, but had to take her induction (planned for 5/11 night admission) off the books as they can't induce if she still tests positive. She goes Monday to an associate of her Dr as her BP was up today(whose wouldn't be?) Then on the 9th she gets the MRSA test again. If it isn't all clear, she will likely end up (assuming she doesn't go into labor) being induced the SAME day as her DSis!!! Dr doesn't think she will go into labor on her own as her cervix never did soften last time and shows the same this time. If she does go into labor before the 'all clear' she will have to have a C-section. And, with MRSA she can't have an epidural at all!! Poor kid(well, she's 35, so not really a kid, but.....)

Things here are the same...one crisis after another. I'm too tired to fill you in tonight, but it again involves DS21 and his 'habits'. And, of course, DH reactions to them.....UGH!!!!!

I'm just trying to take 1 moment at a time & looking toward 7:10 a.m. on 5/17 when that flight takes off for FL!!!!

More tomorrow & I'll get to more journals tomorrow.....promise!!!

Have I told y''all lately how much I care about you and how thankful I am that God has put you in my life????

 

[toystoryduo]

Oh Julie,

Sweetie, I am so sorry to hear about all that you are going through. We will be praying for you, your nieces, your DS, and your DH.

You are a strong and amazing woman, Julie. God will you see you through this.