I'm still here! Did ya miss me???? I'm just in a blue funk and finding it hard to get anything done or even motivated to get on the computer.
Anyway, food first:
3/21 - Day 17/108
34 oz decaf tea
1/2 chicken wrap from Costco(10)
bbq pork(3)
potatoes(3)
chocolate(6)
34 oz water
I decided NOT to walk outside where I walked the day before as I woke up Thurs morning to hear there had been a fatal stabbing right where I had been walking. So, I went and walked lap after lap inside a Sam's & Costco, then went to Super
WalMart. Walked steadily for at over an hour inside each of S & C (before open to the public so I wasn't running anyone over). Finally made it home about 1:30 pm w/ no energy/motivation to get anything else done. I just wanted to go to bed, but of course, that wasn't meant to be.
3/22 - Day 18/108
lt em(1)
egg beaters(1)
bacon(1)
ff cheese(.5)
banana peppers(0)
34 oz diet sunkist
34 oz water
chocolate(6)
1 bagel bite(2)
baked tostitos(2)
cheese(3)
chips(6)
chocolate(3)
Pretzel(6)
NOT a good food day. Had to get DD up when I took DS17 to work as she doesn't like being home alone - especially when asleep - But she's 15 for goodness sakes!!!!! Grouchy Gerta she was!! The plan was to go to the cycle shop to check on DS17 bike, drop him at work, mail my Ebay pkgs & go to swim. NOT!!!!
She reminded me that I 'promised' her I would take her looking at swim suits(bought 1 at WalMart early in the week, but told her not to take tags off until we had a chance to look & see if she found 1 she liked better). So, after mailing packages, went to Ross, then the Mall. Then as we are FINALLY headed to the gym she informs me she never turned in her schedule for next year (hasn't even filled it out) & she needs to do it, then take it to the school before the teachers leave for Spring Break. Over 2 hours later, that was done & by then I had NO desire or energy to go to swim, plus needed to get dinner & take a gazillion Ebay pics so I can get the Living Room ready for massive cleaning weekend.
So, no WW yesterday due to hauling DS17, Ate WAY WAY WAY too much & too much junk. I did walk for about 3 hours w/ DD, while she complained I was going too fast, but.....
I feel like TOM should be arriving at any time, but anymore, that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
DS20 car is back - there are some things he needs to do to it, but it's running at least. That's about the only good thing this week, AGAIN! The Arena he works at decided the don't have the money to send him and/or his boss to 'Zamboni' school, but DS20 wants to go anyway to get certified. 3 classes 4 days each - 1 in Estero FL, 1 in Centennial Co, 1 in San Jose CA. Problem is $450 each registration, + transportation, place to stay, food, etc. He's determined to save enough to afford to go - which is a good thing for him to want to do, but I just don't see it being really probable.
So, I start checking Estero FL is close to where my DBro lives in naples & even closer to where his DS21 owns a house NW of Ft. Myers. So, I called my DSis in Lakeland to see IF he makes it if she could pick him up in Tampa & if need be let him & his boss spend a night at her house before renting a car & going down there & maybe on the way back as well. She proceeded to say ONLY if she sees his Bank Account to see that he has been saving all his money. WHAT????? I explained that he would have to save in order to pay for this, but she said she didn't care, he had to have everything he's made so she knows he hasn't blown it. This really upset me, but I can't tell her that. She talked endlessly in the past about helping out her DH Brother's kids who were WAY druggies, 2 girls Hookers, alcoholics, etc. I think this is a GOOD thing for DS20 to want to do & try to better himself, but apparently she doesn't see it that way. Sure, I'd rather he be using his full capacity & going to college & getting a high paying tech job, but....
So that, coupled with the DH situation, I spent a good part of yesterday evening & last night hiding tears I didn't want to explain & make others angry about. Tuesday night DH comes in & yells "So, I guess you've decided we're too poor to do anything for our Anniversary" NO, I try to explain again that HE is the one worried about having to retire in 5 years & I just need his word and I will plan a trip, but I'm not doing it w/o permission as I'm already getting blamed for him not saving 25% of his pay for the last 25 years so he could be retired. I asked him to PLEASE give me ideas for what he would like to do & I will get some prices/itineraries together for them & then we can decide. Since then, he has not spoken to me about it. I really think he wants to be able to blame me for us not doing anything, but I just can't take the guilt trip over money that will be laid on me.
This started when I made the mistake of saying that he has a lot of vacation time to burn this year & needs to think about starting to use some. He informed me that 4 weeks + all the other holidays isn't much at all - which amounts to almost 6 weeks ( & I responded that that was just about 6 weeks more than I've EVER gotten so it seemed a lot - BIG mistake). I told him that I hoped he could use 1 of those weeks & help me paint the upstairs inside as It's never been painted except the cheap contractor paint in 12 years. He told me he's TOO OLD to do that. So I suggested maybe he could help me Move the furniture so I could paint - NOPE, TOO OLD. So I suggested maybe he could do MY normal running, meals, bills, dogs, etc so I could Move furniture, paint, etc. He informed me that he's not taking vacation so he can do MY JOBS while I do NOTHING. Wonderful!!!!
Then I explained that he gets bored if he sits at home, but we really can't afford for him to take 4 week long trips. That he could go visit his friends in KS & maybe stay with them, or maybe go visit his family in IA & stay with them. Oops, visiting friends & family isn't a vacation, & a vacation isn't for doing things at your house. Oh well...... things need done and there just isn't time on weekends. So that is where he got the "we're too poor to do anything". Nope, but I'm not stupid enough to pay the illegals here (sorry, but most paint company's here ONLY hire illegals) over $2000 (which is the cheapest estimate I got) to paint my living room, dining room, kitchen, stairway & hallway. Painting is NOT hard, just time consuming & much of it will involve a ladder as I have high ceilings. Oh well......
And, we haven't heard a word from the insurance company about DS17 bike. Neither has the cycle shop in over a week & the claims adjuster didn't leave either us or the shop a claim # or his name/number. Then after DS17 test on Thursday he tried to turn on his PDA cell phone & it wouldn't turn on - fortunately, I was sitting on the same bench waiting on him. Verizon SAYS they will replace it under warranty. I was honest & told them it had been dropped (not recently, but just after he got it - it worked fine after), so I'd better NOT get a bill for $519 which is their retail on the dumb phone. This is the THIRD phone he's bought in just over a year. 1 got sand in it & stopped working- Stupid NM weather (they wouldn't replace), the next one "fell out of his "a$$-crack" while he was riding his cycle - came unclipped from his belt- & a truck ran over it as he was about to run into the intersection to save it, now this one.
And that, my friends, is why I'm depressed. Plus it has to be at least somewhat hormonal...... (I'm almost 47, that should be an good excuse for anything, right???
) I won't EVEN step NEAR a scale, let alone on one as I've been on a carb fest & quite frankly don't want to know. I just want to crawl into a hole somewhere and come out sometime in August.
I really wish I could come there and wisk you away from your demanding family life. I think I would go insane if I had to live one day of your lifestyle.
You are such an amazing woman who does so much for others. Maybe a solo trip somewhere would help you get some much needed and much deserved rest. And.... if you want to go to Disney, I know a great 
