Jill Duggar's wedding

[ronandannette]

It is sad that these girls are brought up to be nothing but baby incubators. They didn't even give themselves time to get to know each other as a couple before popping a baby out.

It happens - DH and I were married 13 months to the day when DS "popped" out. That's a pretty unnecessarily derogatory way to describe a happy young couple who are either making the best of an "oops" or are just genuinely excited and anxious to be starting a family.

 

[goofy!]

One way is not more polite than the other. Its just a difference in the culture of the south and the culture of other regions. Not wrong, just different.

Its just that in the south, children are taught to do this because in the south its considered respectful. Just like saying m'am and sir. When an adult says "call me Jane" to a child or teen or even young adult; they tend to change it to "Ms. Jane". Its just the way they have been brought up.

Funny tidbit:

We are not in the south, so M'am and Sir are not common at all. However, my son is a black belt and it was drilled in his head for 6 years that it was always "Yes Sir" and "Yes M'am"

He would answer the teachers that way when he was asked to do something.

In high school, one teacher actually sent him to the principal because she thought he was being disrespectful. She saw it as teen sarcasm.

He quickly learned to not say it in school.

 

[rszdtrvl]

I found it ridiculous that JimBob asked Derek if he was capable of supporting a family. Yet when it comes to Ben, he moved him right onto the property and put him to work for him. Want a quickie marriage much?? I hope Ben has the means to support Jessa and what is bound to be a bunch of kids. If not, I guess he can work for JimBob doing odd jobs. (And I don't mind the Duggars, really. I just found the whole above thing very ridiculous.)

 

[pharmjenn]

Where were they running to after the announcement of "Husband and Wife" and the first kiss? Dh joked that Derrick was taking her to a back room to consummate the marriage immediately, lol.
.

Well, she did carry in a pillow with a black t-shirt over it when they walked into the church. I was trying to figure out what use that would have.

 

[SydSim]

That Jessa is a pistol! For some reason, I feel that she wouldn't leave the number of children they would have up to God. She seems more like a "Well I won't use any artificial means of birth control, but by golly I will be tracking that calendar!" kinda girl.

I love the Duggars! I view their encouragement of marriage and motherhood for their girls the same as other parents that talk about going to college to their children all of their lives. I don't hear people complaining "I can't believe that those Smiths keep encouraging their kids to go to college! What brainwashing! Because of that, those Smith children will never get married or have children!" Many, many parents encourage their children to do things that were satisfying and fulfilling for themselves (heck some kids aren't even allowed to apply to a college because it's their parents' college's rival! Talk about controlling!)

 

[lizzi6692]

That Jessa is a pistol! For some reason, I feel that she wouldn't leave the number of children they would have up to God. She seems more like a "Well I won't use any artificial means of birth control, but by golly I will be tracking that calendar!" kinda girl. I love the Duggars! I view their encouragement of marriage and motherhood for their girls the same as other parents that talk about going to college to their children all of their lives. I don't hear people complaining "I can't believe that those Smiths keep encouraging their kids to go to college! What brainwashing! Because of that, those Smith children will never get married or have children!" Many, many parents encourage their children to do things that were satisfying and fulfilling for themselves (heck some kids aren't even allowed to apply to a college because it's their parents' college's rival! Talk about controlling!)

Because parents who encourage their children to go to college aren't saying to do it in lieu of getting married and have kids, just before because you are far more likely to finish college if you do it in that order. The Duggars encourage their daughters to get married and have kids instead of going to college. Do you seriously not see the difference?

 

[WDWJDS]

Because parents who encourage their children to go to college aren't saying to do it in lieu of getting married and have kids, just before because you are far more likely to finish college if you do it in that order. The Duggars encourage their daughters to get married and have kids instead of going to college. Do you seriously not see the difference?

I have never seen an episode where JB and Michelle said "girls, please don't go to college. Just get married and have babies". Just like I don't see people saying "girls, please don't get married and have babies. Just go to college". I do see families encouraging what they feel is most important in their lives and assuming that if the child wants something else, then they will do that as well (or instead of). JB and Michelle probably didn't tell Jill "Please don't see each other on your wedding day. Please don't go barefoot. Please don't have ice cream floats". Those were probably things that JB and Michelle didn't do, but Jill actually decided to do them on her own. Contrary to popular belief, Jill does have a mind of her own. If she decides to model her parents' life, then she probably chose that because she likes it. Society is always complaining about someone's behavior. We hate it when women go to college but get married and have children soon after and don't utilize their degree in the traditional workforce (what a waste!) We hate it when people get advance degrees and either decide to not start families at all or push it back for years and years! (How selfish). Good grief!

 

[Happy Snowman]

I have never seen an episode where JB and Michelle said "girls, please don't go to college. Just get married and have babies". Just like I don't see people saying "girls, please don't get married and have babies. Just go to college". I do see families encouraging what they feel is most important in their lives and assuming that if the child wants something else, then they will do that as well (or instead of). JB and Michelle probably didn't tell Jill "Please don't see each other on your wedding day. Please don't go barefoot. Please don't have ice cream floats". Those were probably things that JB and Michelle didn't do, but Jill actually decided to do them on her own. Contrary to popular belief, Jill does have a mind of her own. If she decides to model her parents' life, then she probably chose that because she likes it. Society is always complaining about someone's behavior. We hate it when women go to college but get married and have children soon after and don't utilize their degree in the traditional workforce (what a waste!) We hate it when people get advance degrees and either decide to not start families at all or push it back for years and years! (How selfish). Good grief!

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/19-kids...uggars-blog/education-after-homeschooling.htm

Right from her mouth---nope, the girls are not allowed to go to college--but they can get "on the job training" and that's the same thing----nope. "Working on their midwifery skills"...how about letting them go to college and become Nurse Midwifes---which is a legal way to practice in most states.

Hey, more power to the family, they have a boatload of kids and are not sponging off the government. They seem close and whatnot. Fine, great, I just don't agree with their ideals and beliefs.

 

[WDWJDS]

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/19-kids-and-counting/michelle-duggars-blog/education-after-homeschooling.htm Right from her mouth---nope, the girls are not allowed to go to college--but they can get "on the job training" and that's the same thing----nope. "Working on their midwifery skills"...how about letting them go to college and become Nurse Midwifes---which is a legal way to practice in most states. Hey, more power to the family, they have a boatload of kids and are not sponging off the government. They seem close and whatnot. Fine, great, I just don't agree with their ideals and beliefs.

I'm sorry. Where did it say the girls are not allowed to go to college?

I see that it appears they are being frugal and like learning by apprenticing, so they're not actually paying someone to teach them (as in college) but getting paid to be taught. Sounds pretty much online with their financial beliefs. But I don't see where it says the girls are not allowed to go to college.

 

[Happy Snowman]

I'm sorry. Where did it say the girls are not allowed to go to college?

I see that it appears they are being frugal and like learning by apprenticing, so they're not actually paying someone to teach them (as in college) but getting paid to be taught. Sounds pretty much online with their financial beliefs. But I don't see where it says the girls are not allowed to go to college.

Of course they aren't going to come right and say they won't allow their children to go to college-they will lose viewership--but their actions speak louder than words and higher education is not valued in their family, end of story. Yes, they can do "apprenticeships" but that is not the same as going off to college. One can still go off to college and be frugal...

 

[Pembo]

Well, she did carry in a pillow with a black t-shirt over it when they walked into the church. I was trying to figure out what use that would have.

I was wondering the same thing and yes I agree that they were running off for a quickie. LOL

 

[WDWJDS]

Of course they aren't going to come right and say they won't allow their children to go to college-they will lose viewership--but their actions speak louder than words and higher education is not valued in their family, end of story. ...

Wait, by saying "End of story" does that mean that what you say is law and there is no more discussion? And didn't you say "right from her mouth, the girls are not allowed to go to college"? Nope, didn't hear that come from Michelle's mouth at all.
Their actions seem (notice I say "seems") like they feel it is a better value to learn a trade while earning money (or not paying for it) than it is to pay tuition for someone to teach you. To me that is sooooo far away from saying "girls are not allowed to go to college". Whether I agree with their views is a different story, but I can understand their sentiments.

 

[cabanafrau]

The Duggar family seen on TV now is very different (and at the same time, exactly the same) as the family we saw when they started with the specials on TLC when they were at 14 kids

Jim Bob carefully controls how we see the Duggars, probably with a little help from TLC to make their ultra-conservative family traditions come off more mainstream. Mainstream = marketable.

People traveled great distances to be served root beer floats made with Aldi root beer. (they couldn't even splurge for the A&W? More likely scenario is deal with Aldi for product placement) I find that a little rude. There's a difference in being cheap and being careful with your money. I haven't seen all the pics from People or US Weekly, so maybe there was more than we saw on the show?

Jim Bob hand picked Derick for Jill. He's her man. The end.

Well Jim Bob does seem to care deeply about her, so I hope he was spot on in his choice. No matter what I think of some of the things we've been shown -- realizing of course that certain things are staged or distorted by the cameras, I do hope this couple will be very happy.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Do you ever wonder what viewers are supposed to learn watching shows like this on The Learning Channel?

 

[Luv2Run]

With them leading such a different family lifestyle than how I was raised and how I lead my family lifestyle, I so badly wanted to be judgmental and harsh on them, but I just can't. After watching several episodes and seeing Jill's wedding, all I can take away from this family is the immense amount of love they have for each other. Will I raise my children this way? No way. But, that's because I have different beliefs, and there's nothing wrong with that.

The only thing I fear for this family, and it really is a tertiary thing, is that with them getting married so young, I worry that they're putting the TV show before their own marital happiness, and they'll feel forced to stay in a relationship because of their religious beliefs and/or pressure from the TV show to stay together even though there may be physical/emotional abuse later on down the road. But again, not my marriage, not my problem *shrug*

 

[Luv2Run]

It happens - DH and I were married 13 months to the day when DS "popped" out. That's a pretty unnecessarily derogatory way to describe a happy young couple who are either making the best of an "oops" or are just genuinely excited and anxious to be starting a family.

I agree. Especially when they made it very clear that Jill is a baby person. There were, what, 30 babies at her bridal shower? I'm not at all surprised that she got pregnant this quickly, and am actually quite happe for her and Derek. He seems like he'll be a great dad, and their babies are going to be really cute if they get his dimples.

 

[OhMari]

There were 1000 people at the wedding. The wedding planner said Jill had one request to have root beer floats. The wedding planner said the wedding was in 4 hours and then the reception was in 5 hours. I think they didn't show the people eating. There is no way all those people came and did not eat. They showed caterers a few times and the person that opened the door in the morning to the church was an Amish women. I am betting they just didn't want to show that part of the wedding.
I am probably one of the few people that did not like Michelle's dress. It was such a formal dress, for such a casually dressed wedding. It was too heavy for a June wedding' plus purple, my dd thought it was grey, but my on my tv it looked purple. I have to find a mother of the bride dress by April and I am dreading every minute of it, knowing dresses that ugly are out there.

 

[WDWJDS]

I am probably one of the few people that did not like Michelle's dress.

I didn't like it either. Looked like an artichoke to me! Loved the guys, liked the girls.

It looked like everyone was standing outside for the "reception", since there weren't any sit down types of food being served.

I do wonder how many came - was it 3000 or 1000?

 

[ronandannette]

Well Jim Bob does seem to care deeply about her, so I hope he was spot on in his choice. No matter what I think of some of the things we've been shown -- realizing of course that certain things are staged or distorted by the cameras, I do hope this couple will be very happy.

With them leading such a different family lifestyle than how I was raised and how I lead my family lifestyle, I so badly wanted to be judgmental and harsh on them, but I just can't. After watching several episodes and seeing Jill's wedding, all I can take away from this family is the immense amount of love they have for each other. Will I raise my children this way? No way. But, that's because I have different beliefs, and there's nothing wrong with that.

The only thing I fear for this family, and it really is a tertiary thing, is that with them getting married so young, I worry that they're putting the TV show before their own marital happiness, and they'll feel forced to stay in a relationship because of their religious beliefs and/or pressure from the TV show to stay together even though there may be physical/emotional abuse later on down the road. But again, not my marriage, not my problem *shrug*

The really beautiful thing about living in a free country is not only being allowed to believe whatever you want but also bring able to actually live out your beliefs (within the bounds of law). People of faith desire to do that and I get how weird that seems to others who either don't know or don't agree with the tenants of ultra-conservative Christianity. Many Christians feel that marriage is an unbreakable commitment, even those of us without a TV show . That's often interpreted as being a threat to women. But the other aspect in super-patriarchal systems like the one the Duggars maintain is the extreme level of responsibility on the men to love, protect and care for their wives and children. I wouldn't give this young couple any worse odds at a long, happy marriage than I would anybody else (and unfortunately today those odds aren't really in anybody's favour).

 

[cabanafrau]

The really beautiful thing about living in a free country is not only being allowed to believe whatever you want but also bring able to actually live out your beliefs (within the bounds of law). People of faith desire to do that and I get how weird that seems to others who either don't know or don't agree with the tenants of ultra-conservative Christianity. Many Christians feel that marriage is an unbreakable commitment, even those of us without a TV show . That's often interpreted as being a threat to women. But the other aspect in super-patriarchal systems like the one the Duggars maintain is the extreme level of responsibility on the men to love, protect and care for their wives and children. I wouldn't give this young couple any worse odds at a long, happy marriage than I would anybody else (and unfortunately today those odds aren't really in anybody's favour).

I'm not entirely sure how your comments necessarily relate to what you quoted and bolded from me? So to be clear, I meant exactly what I said. I do hope they are a perfect match and will be happy. While not a Christian of the fundie variety myself, I am a Christian who believes in the sanctity of marriage nonetheless. I was not infering odds against their marriage lasting, far from it.