Jill Duggar's wedding

[madge]

Wait they just got married but in Michelle's blog she said Jill and Derrick are expecting and the baby is due in March? I thought they never kissed till the wedding much less >>>>>>


http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2014/08/grand-duggar-4-is-on-way.html

wedding was in June.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Ha that explains it

 

[MissManda]

I don't watch the Duggars all the time, but I was home sick Tuesday and watched a the whole marathon leading up to the wedding and then the wedding itself.

I have to say that I really think Jill and Derick make a cute couple. They really look good together. To me, you really can feel the love between them. There is actual chemistry between them. (I really don't see that with Jessa and Ben at all. I hope that maybe they just aren't as outwardly affectionate like Jill and Derick. So much of their stuff seems forced to me. But mabye they just aren't as comfortable with the cameras. I hope that they really are in love!).

I also don't think its so bad that that Jill is already pregnant. Honeymoon babies happen all the time (some planned, some not). What's meant to be will be! But, I think they will make wonderful loving parent.

A few things about the wedding that struck me:
- First, I thought it was a lovely wedding and true to who the couple is. Not too flashy. Even though it was a large wedding, it was still down to earth with nothing too extravagent. I loved the couple of glimpses of the little kids during the ceremony fidgeting around, bored (such typical kids!)


- I'm so happy that Dericks Mom made it to the wedding. I'm sure that was a very emotionallly trying time for them. What a blessing and relief it must have been for everyone to have her there!

- I kind of liked the idea of the low key reception. I love root beer floats, but I don't think I would have done that at an outdoor June reception for so many guests. I can't imagine keeping up with that!

- The fascination that they all had with the first kiss and the not so subtle hints of what comes next and all the baby talk was just a little strange to me. It almost seemed like the kiss was the most important part of the wedding. (Obviously everyone knows what goes on during the wedding night, but do the parents and everyone have to keep talking about it? Ewww. I don't want my parents thinking about that...just like I don't want to think of my parents in that way. Lol).

-I personally find it hard to imagine going from being engaged to someone that you aren't allowed any physical contact with except some hand hold and side hugging and someone that you cant' even have a private conversation with, to being married, sharing a first kiss, and then being totally alone within a few hours. I think that would be very awkward.

- If you watch very carefully, you can get some hints of how controlling the parents, particuarly Jim Bob really is. I noticed when in Nepal with Jill, that he would physically insert himself between the two so that they couldn't get too close. They had to have a chaperone go with them the morning of the wedding to go to church and call Dericks Mom (I thought that was a little over the top. Its their wedding day, let them have a few private moments together. Its either control or total lack of trust in his daughter.) Also, he and Michelle went on and on in several talking heads about how hard it is to give away their daughter. I just found it odd how much emphasis they put on that. I know its hard to have her move out and not be there. But, the talk was about giving her away to another man. Its not like they sold her or something.

- For such a happy day, there seemed to be a lot of sadness from the family. I know people cry at weddings. But, some of her sisters as they were getting ready to go down the aisle actually seemed sad. They said it was happy tears, but their faces just seemed so sad to me. Again, I know that they will miss her and they must all be close. But, they are goiing to have a really hard time as the others start to get married and move away as well. At least Jill and Derick still live close by.


I agree with some other posters, that I think the parents are much more controlling than what is portrayed on TV. I think that the kids are held back from things. If one of the girls wanted to go to an actual nursing school and become and RN, I don't think that would be allowed based on what I've heard about the family and the Gothard lifestyle that they follow. But, I do think that no matter what, they do love each other and will look out for each other. So, I have to give them credit there.


ETA- I really liked Jills dress and the bridesmaid dresses. However, I really did not like what Michelle wore at all. It just didn't fit with the rest of the wedding attire for a June wedding. I wonder if they dress and a really low neckline and she had it modified...but if so, went way overboard. It looked like she was wearing a turtle neck. The dress was just so bulky looking. Not a fresh spring look at all

 

[Michelina]

This show makes me really sad. TLC doesn't show what their religion is really all about. They seem so happy and cheerful all the time because in the Quiverfull movement even a sulky expression is disobedience towards your parents which equals disobedience towards God. If they show any sign of "rebellion", like going to a real college, they'll be cut off from all of their siblings so that they don't contaminate them. I'm hoping that one of the Duggar kids (especially a girl) eventually escapes. That's a show I would want to watch.

 

[aprilgail2]

This show makes me really sad. TLC doesn't show what their religion is really all about. They seem so happy and cheerful all the time because in the Quiverfull movement even a sulky expression is disobedience towards your parents which equals disobedience towards God. If they show any sign of "rebellion", like going to a real college, they'll be cut off from all of their siblings so that they don't contaminate them. I'm hoping that one of the Duggar kids (especially a girl) eventually escapes. That's a show I would want to watch.

I really hope Its a girl that finally breaks free of the family cult- I would watch that show - can call it "breaking Duggar"

 

[luvsJack]

I never understand why there are always those that are determined that they are only faking being happy and at least one of them should "break away". Maybe they are truly happy with their lives. They have been brought up this way and don't know any other way. If they are happy, so be it. Do ya'll think the same think of children raised Amish? Are they not happy? (and yes, I know they have the chance to leave but that doesn't make them unhappy with their lives)


I know a young youth minister that believes young, unmarried couples should be chaperoned. He is Baptist but was raised in another country and his beliefs are a bit different than most of the Baptist faith. And as such, by his beliefs, the couple should not be alone until after their vows are said. Its not trust or control issues, its that he believes that they should not ever be placed in a situation of temptation.

 

[lucas]

I wonder if Derick dated before Jill or had past girlfriends?

 

[cabanafrau]

I never understand why there are always those that are determined that they are only faking being happy and at least one of them should "break away". Maybe they are truly happy with their lives. They have been brought up this way and don't know any other way. If they are happy, so be it. Do ya'll think the same think of children raised Amish? Are they not happy? (and yes, I know they have the chance to leave but that doesn't make them unhappy with their lives)


I know a young youth minister that believes young, unmarried couples should be chaperoned. He is Baptist but was raised in another country and his beliefs are a bit different than most of the Baptist faith. And as such, by his beliefs, the couple should not be alone until after their vows are said. Its not trust or control issues, its that he believes that they should not ever be placed in a situation of temptation.

Personally I have no particular wish for any of them to break away, unless they are unhappy or dissatisfied and want something else for their life.

I understand the philosophy about chaperoning, even though it's not my belief system. However I also feel that there are certain circumstances where it just goes too far. I think it was excessive to need a chaperone in the mother's hospital room. (Technically wouldn't the mother have sufficed in that case, possibly even being less risk to her health as well?) I also think it was excessive to need a chaperone for the daily devotions in the chapel on the wedding day, followed with a call checking in on the groom's very ill mother. Those are two examples of control and piety for no true purpose other than display IMO.

 

[nicolita3]

I wonder if Derick dated before Jill or had past girlfriends?

On the bridal shower episode his mom said that she told him to wait until he finds a girl he wants to marry,that dating is expensive and it is really emotional.

 

[MissManda]

I never understand why there are always those that are determined that they are only faking being happy and at least one of them should "break away". Maybe they are truly happy with their lives. They have been brought up this way and don't know any other way. If they are happy, so be it. Do ya'll think the same think of children raised Amish? Are they not happy? (and yes, I know they have the chance to leave but that doesn't make them unhappy with their lives)


I know a young youth minister that believes young, unmarried couples should be chaperoned. He is Baptist but was raised in another country and his beliefs are a bit different than most of the Baptist faith. And as such, by his beliefs, the couple should not be alone until after their vows are said. Its not trust or control issues, its that he believes that they should not ever be placed in a situation of temptation.

I'll admit, I really haven't watched the show much since Josie was born. I saw a lot of Jill and Dericks courtship/engagement and wedding since I was home sick so I feel like I know more about that.

With that said, if the "kids" are okay with the lifestyle that they lead, then that's fine. More power to them. I personally find it too stifling with all the rules, but too each their own.

I just wonder though how much say they actually have. Think about it. Many of these "kids" are adults, living at home, the girls really don't have jobs to speak of other than taking care of the little kids. What if one of the kids doesn't want to wait until marriage for their first kiss. Or they want to spend time alone with their fiance. What if they said, I want to go on a date without a chaperone. What would Jim Bob and Michelle say about that? Through watching the marathon the other day, it really stuck out to me how much in control Jim Bob was. I saw several instances where he would insert himself directly between Jill and Derick so they couldn't touch. Jessa and Ben couldn't hold hands while in a prayer circle (she had to hold his shirt sleeve). All the talk about giving away his daughter to another man (they consider this to be a transfer of authority). I just don't see him being okay with his kids differing from their current lifestyle at all. These are grown adults who should be able to make their own decisions, but it really comes across more like they still have to obey their parents until they do get married.

 

[Pembo]

I wonder if Derick dated before Jill or had past girlfriends?

I googled that and yes he did. Did you know he was Pistol Pete at Oklahoma State as was his dad?! I'm thinking he probably had a great time in college.

The not holding hands and side hug only thing to me is just weird. Found an awesome blog about a couple that lived this lifestyle and courted that way...very interesting turn of events for them.

 

[ORMom2Four]

I just recently started watching the show, and I like the Duggars. I think Jill and Derrick are charming and lovely, and in love.

On the other hand, Jessa and Ben's relationship is odd. They are really young and it definitely shows! Whenever Ben talks, hes always looking at Jessa for approval or being afraid of saying the wrong thing. She definitely is a firecracker, but they are both very immature.

Jessa and Ben have NO chemistry at all. I also wonder if Ben might have a mild developmental disability.

 

[madge]

I never understand why there are always those that are determined that they are only faking being happy and at least one of them should "break away". Maybe they are truly happy with their lives. They have been brought up this way and don't know any other way. If they are happy, so be it. Do ya'll think the same think of children raised Amish? Are they not happy? (and yes, I know they have the chance to leave but that doesn't make them unhappy with their lives)

there is quite a bit of information out there about the Duggar family and their faith traditions, much of it provided by the Duggars themselves. it's not like they're living a secret life. some of the teachings they follow are extreme, to the point that some consider it a cult. It's really pretty fascinating reading, at least it is to me anyway.

you're absolutely right, though, they may truly be happy and joyful ... this is all they've ever known. they spend time away from Arkansas now, with Josh & Anna in DC, trips to NYC for Today Show appearances, etc. I'm curious if that's skewed any of the teens thinking. Unless one of them leaves, we'll never know.

I'm not sure if comparing them to the Amish is a fair comparison. The Amish kids I see around here never look happy, nor do they look unhappy. They're sort of mostly expressionless.

 

[TifffanyD]

I googled that and yes he did. Did you know he was Pistol Pete at Oklahoma State as was his dad?! I'm thinking he probably had a great time in college.

The not holding hands and side hug only thing to me is just weird. Found an awesome blog about a couple that lived this lifestyle and courted that way...very interesting turn of events for them.

Can you link the blog please?

 

[Sugardimples]

I think that there may have been some behind the scenes drama involving Jana. She disappeared for about a year. She's back now but has very little to say. I wonder what happened.

I found the whole "Jim Bob is crying again because Jill is getting married" really creepy.

 

[luvsJack]

I'll admit, I really haven't watched the show much since Josie was born. I saw a lot of Jill and Dericks courtship/engagement and wedding since I was home sick so I feel like I know more about that.

With that said, if the "kids" are okay with the lifestyle that they lead, then that's fine. More power to them. I personally find it too stifling with all the rules, but too each their own.

I just wonder though how much say they actually have. Think about it. Many of these "kids" are adults, living at home, the girls really don't have jobs to speak of other than taking care of the little kids. What if one of the kids doesn't want to wait until marriage for their first kiss. Or they want to spend time alone with their fiance. What if they said, I want to go on a date without a chaperone. What would Jim Bob and Michelle say about that? Through watching the marathon the other day, it really stuck out to me how much in control Jim Bob was. I saw several instances where he would insert himself directly between Jill and Derick so they couldn't touch. Jessa and Ben couldn't hold hands while in a prayer circle (she had to hold his shirt sleeve). All the talk about giving away his daughter to another man (they consider this to be a transfer of authority). I just don't see him being okay with his kids differing from their current lifestyle at all. These are grown adults who should be able to make their own decisions, but it really comes across more like they still have to obey their parents until they do get married.

Oh, I would find it suffocating and I am sure dd would too. But we were not brought up that way. They were. Most people brought under a certain set of beliefs tend to really not begin thinking in another way.

The youth minister that I mentioned earlier will bring his own children up that way but when he tried to tell his youth group that they should only date with a chaperon, they all looked at him like he had 3 heads! There were several young couples that broke up after that service because they knew they couldn't suddenly change what they had been doing. Enough upset teens that parents were questioning what the heck was going on!

The Duggar's father probably would not be ok. But in his belief system, if they went against what he has taught them, they would be wrong.

 

[lizzi6692]

Oh, I would find it suffocating and I am sure dd would too. But we were not brought up that way. They were. Most people brought under a certain set of beliefs tend to really not begin thinking in another way. The youth minister that I mentioned earlier will bring his own children up that way but when he tried to tell his youth group that they should only date with a chaperon, they all looked at him like he had 3 heads! There were several young couples that broke up after that service because they knew they couldn't suddenly change what they had been doing. Enough upset teens that parents were questioning what the heck was going on! The Duggar's father probably would not be ok. But in his belief system, if they went against what he has taught them, they would be wrong.

And that last line is why I have a problem with the Duggars. I have a problem with any belief system that basically forbids freethinking. If one of the children decided to go against the beliefs they would ultimately be forced to make a choice between being a part of their family or being true to themselves, which is just not okay in my opinion. I'm not a fan of conditional love when it comes to parents and children.

 

[elaine amj]

There has been mention in the show about how each couple is setting up their own dating "rules". I'm sure Jim Bob and Michelle are giving a lot of advice behind the scenes and that chaperones are not a negotiable rule.

But it looks like things like kiss before marriage, hand holding, side hugs, etc are decisions made by each individual couple.

 

[kidshop]

Jessa and Ben have NO chemistry at all. I also wonder if Ben might have a mild developmental disability.

I'm glad you said it. Those two make me cringe. I don't know what it is, but something is way off there. Now Jill and Derrick are cute and seem to really like each other. That relationship seems real and genuine.

Jessa/Ben ( hey what is his last name?). Not so much.

 

[cabanafrau]

I'll admit, I really haven't watched the show much since Josie was born. I saw a lot of Jill and Dericks courtship/engagement and wedding since I was home sick so I feel like I know more about that.

With that said, if the "kids" are okay with the lifestyle that they lead, then that's fine. More power to them. I personally find it too stifling with all the rules, but too each their own.

I just wonder though how much say they actually have. Think about it. Many of these "kids" are adults, living at home, the girls really don't have jobs to speak of other than taking care of the little kids. What if one of the kids doesn't want to wait until marriage for their first kiss. Or they want to spend time alone with their fiance. What if they said, I want to go on a date without a chaperone. What would Jim Bob and Michelle say about that? Through watching the marathon the other day, it really stuck out to me how much in control Jim Bob was. I saw several instances where he would insert himself directly between Jill and Derick so they couldn't touch. Jessa and Ben couldn't hold hands while in a prayer circle (she had to hold his shirt sleeve). All the talk about giving away his daughter to another man (they consider this to be a transfer of authority). I just don't see him being okay with his kids differing from their current lifestyle at all. These are grown adults who should be able to make their own decisions, but it really comes across more like they still have to obey their parents until they do get married.

This touches on the issues that I said concerned me upthread about the compensation for the show. I do feel money should be sitting in trust for the kids as they appear(ed) on the show as minors. I feel that the adult children should be compensated as well, but as I said above, my suspicion is it all goes into a pot that Jim Bob controls, even any of it supposed to belong to any of the Duggar children of whatever age. I suspect they're all stuck in the position of needing to get through him to gain access, which just is never done, so there they are, cogs in Duggar, Inc.