jealousy

[jjj444]

Does anyone have a family member that they are really jealous of? I do and it is driving me insane. I think about it all the time. I don't even know if jealous is the right word to use. This family member has a lot of nice things that are all paid for with credit cards($50,000 in debt) and whatever they don't have their mother/father buys for them. They cry poor and all the donations come flying out to them. They have no idea how to manage their money and make jokes about how cheap we are. Literally everything is paid for by their parents (married couple with kids I am talking about) trips, bills, gas, food out to eat, groceries and stuff for their kids. I seriosly have to not talk to them cause I can't stand to hear all the crap that comes out of their mouths! We are so poor- well than get a job and stop living of your parents! Sorry really needed to vent. Anyone else out there like me?

 

[vegasnative]

Does anyone have a family member that they are really jealous of? I do and it is driving me insane. I think about it all the time. I don't even know if jealous is the right word to use. This family member has a lot of nice things that are all paid for with credit cards($50,000 in debt) and whatever they don't have their mother/father buys for them. They cry poor and all the donations come flying out to them. They have no idea how to manage their money and make jokes about how cheap we are. Literally everything is paid for by their parents (married couple with kids I am talking about) trips, bills, gas, food out to eat, groceries and stuff for their kids. I seriosly have to not talk to them cause I can't stand to hear all the crap that comes out of their mouths! We are so poor- well than get a job and stop living of your parents! Sorry really needed to vent. Anyone else out there like me?

Not sure if I read this right, but are you thinking you are jealous of them? If so....DON'T BE!!!! Don't be jealous of someone that has $50,000 in credit card debt, and gets everything handed to them. You are much better off being able to take care of yourselves rather than rely on other people. In the end it will all come crashing down on them, then we will see who is feeling jealous of whom. Also, you never know, they may act all glam and act all big and rich and call you cheap, but it may just be a front, because probably down inside somewhere they are unhappy and wishing that they were more like "you".

 

[iloveboardwalk]

I don't even know if jealous is the right word to use.

I think the word you are looking for is "resentful"

It's hard not to be resentful, but remember that life is an exercise in karma. What goes around comes around. You are storing up knowledge and are hard workers, virtuous and earning life.

They are storing up things and an empty life. Pity is what you should feel for them. The gravy train won't last forever and the crash down will be a harsh wake up.

 

[mommasita]

No, I don't have that. The grass is never greener, this is something you learn with age.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Nah, they're all jealous of me. jk.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I don't look at things this way because I know how my life looked to people on the outside as I grew up and how much it really rotted in reality. You never know what people live with so what looks like spoiling to you might actually be trying to make up for horrors you know nothing about.

The only shoes I've ever walked in are my own so I don't go wishing for others since I don't know what baggage accompanies them.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No I don't but if I had a family like that I would probably have almost no contact with them.

You don't have jealousy you are beating treated poorly by your parents. Not directly but of course they are paying the sibs way and it gets shoved in your face from them.

You are having normal angry feelings. Can't fix normal.

So if you know you cannot handle the situation you are perfectly within your rights to maintain distance and not emotionally invest yourself there.

You don't have to cut them out but at the same time you don't have to keep going back and taking a beating either.

Find a medium ground you can tolerate.

 

[LuvOrlando]

No I don't but if I had a family like that I would probably have almost no contact with them.

You don't have jealousy you are beating treated poorly by your parents. Not directly but of course they are paying the sibs way and it gets shoved in your face from them.

You are having normal angry feelings. Can't fix normal.

So if you know you cannot handle the situation you are perfectly within your rights to maintain distance and not emotionally invest yourself there.

You don't have to cut them out but at the same time you don't have to keep going back and taking a beating either.

Find a medium ground you can tolerate.

Was this a sibling? I thought the OP used the term 'family member' to mean a cousin or something similar. If its a sibling it changes what I said.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Was this a sibling? I thought the OP used the term 'family member' to mean a cousin or something similar. If its a sibling it changes what I said.

I don't know? I suppose it could mean a cousin or something.

My advice would still be the same. Limit contact.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I don't know? I suppose it could mean a cousin or something.

My advice would still be the same. Limit contact.

I agree. If someone bugs you avoid them like the plague, life it too short.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I agree. If someone bugs you avoid them like the plague, life it too short.

I know. I don't understand why people go back for "beatings" just because they are "family". Phooey....
I will tolerate annoying, some rudeness, typical family baloney.
However throwing the facts that "I am cheap" in my face will land you a fight and I would NOT be talking to you anytime in the near future unless you apologized and agreed to stop it.

I am 42 and do not have time for people like like that.

 

[Beth76]

I think the word you are looking for is "resentful"

I agree. I certainly hope you're not jealous of someone who is living off credit cards. Yeah, they might be getting free stuff, but eventually they will have to pay off that debt and it will be a hardship.

To answer your other question, no there is no one in my family that I am jealous of.

 

[dreamcometrue]

don't be jealous of them! The debt will come back to bite them in the butt. Eventually, they won't be able to make the payments (or do the parents make their CC payments too?) You say that they make fun of you for being "cheap". Well, one day casually mention in conversation (with other people around preferably), and not mentioning their names, how it must stink to have excess amount of credit card debt.

Truth is, they are most likely jealous of YOU because you are not in credit card debt and can stand on your own two feet. Do they own a house?

 

[Mysteria]

That would inspire pity in me not jealousy (and maybe a lot of family jokes. ). I do have a family member like that and karma just bit them in the butt. Not right of me but I couldn't help but laugh my butt off. Now I'm sure karma will come back to bite me for laughing. It was sooo worth it though.

 

[dg39]

Jealousy.... That evil green eyed monster, strikes again...

You shouldn't make this feeling control your life. While that may be hard to do, remember to try to just concern yourself with your life and no one elses.
It wouldn't bother me that this family has everything they want, what would bother me is that they make jokes at my expense.

 

[SDFgirl]

$50,000 in credit card debt!? No...I wouldn't be jealous...I'd be thinking, "There but for the grace of God go I."

I'm not jealous of anyone in my family, but I used to be. I have a cousin who is perfect - has a great husband, pretty, athletic, high-paying job that she loves, etc. To top it all off, she is truly a genuinely sweet and caring person. Over the years as I grew up, the jealousy faded and disappeared. But I spent many hours as a teenager/early 20's feeling jealous of her.