Jealous, immature adults!

[Margie J]

OMG, I'm having a terrible time dealing with one woman at work. I have never seen an adult act this immaturely. It seems to be directed at me too. Mind you, she became my fast friend when she first came here a year and a half ago.

About a year ago she seemed to be getting in the way of a friendship I had with a guy here. She started getting all friendly with him and telling me about "dates" he was asking her on. It escalated into her jumping all over him whenever I was around, giving me the silent treatment if I did anything with him and once throwing a nutty over me joining an everyday lunch with her, my guy friend and another co-worker.

If I brought any treats in for others she'd follow up by bringing the same thing only a different flavor. If I wore certain styles of clothes she'd copy it (she does this with others too). If I planned stuff like sports events for all she did it also.

Now she is fighting for the attention of a baby no less! Another co-worker brings his kids in each night. One child is a year old. I was holding him tonight and he was playing with my necklace. As I was looking away, talking with others, I felt a strong tug. This woman was trying to pry the kid out of my arms. I let go and she took the kid away so she could play and coo all over him. Then as she was holding him she got close to me and told the kid "kick her". ***! It's not that she wants to play with the baby that bothers me it's her attitude about it.

It seems that everything I have or do she has to possess or try to interfere with. I've been nice to her too but now try my best to stay away from her. I'm at a loss as to what else to do. If I over-react I will look like the b***h so I've been trying to be cool about things. At this point I feel I can't even talk to her 'cause I will go balistic.

Thanks for letting me vent and any advice is appreciated.

 

[DocRafiki]

How annoying. I really have a hard time with that type of situation because I want so badly to put those people in their place, but doing so would require me to act like them! It's a rough one.

Trust me, you are not the only one working with "children." I need to be writing up an incident report about one as we speak. That one does take the cake, though.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Margie, your co-worker sounds like one of my college roommates. It was the same thing that you are describing.

She cut her hair like mine, she bought the same pocketbook that I had and she wore clothes identical to mine. We both waitressed and she had to know how much I made in tips each night so that she could say that she had made more money. She lied about her grades, her family and pretty much everything.

She was so psycho that I moved out after the 1st semester and cut all ties with her. It was difficult since I was also great friends with our other roommate.

I now realize that she must have suffered from low self esteem. I couldn't see it at the time.

I don't know what is the right answer for you since you work with her. Good Luck.

Lori

 

[JenBlaze]

If she's trying THAT hard to one-up you, don't worry - I bet your coworkers see it, too. And I also am willing to bet that the guy thinks she's crazy and/or desperate by now, from the way she's throwing herself at him.

If you complain to someone, you unfortunately run the risk of making yourself look bad.

So just sit back, watch her make a fool of herself, and remember - imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

 

[Laura]

Hmmm... definitely sounds like someone I know.

 

[snoopy]

Yikes. She sounds creepy.

 

[Feralpeg]

Sounds like a good plot for a movie of the week thriller. Psycho office mate! Maybe you could write a screen play and make enough money that you won't have to continue to work there! No really, I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope things work out.

 

[Margie J]

So just sit back, watch her make a fool of herself, and remember - imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Thank you.

I'm letting the kids handle some of this. A couple nights ago the five year old sister of the baby was playing with me at my desk. In walks Ms. Wacko to join in and the kid says "go away I want to play with Margie." Now, this is a kid that plays with several people at once but even she wanted this woman to go away.

I also suspect low self esteem as part of the problem. She displays many of the traits associated with this.

Yes Snoopy, she is creepy!

 

[Chim Chiminy]

OMG, I think I worked with her five years ago, before I had DD and quit my job.

People like that are so annoying. Very hard to keep your cool, but I agree with others here.
If you complain people will view you as the creep.

As in my situation, others around you will notice her trying to hard, and will form their own opinions about her.

Try not to let it bother you too much.

BTW, is she from Harrisburg, PA??

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd kill her with kindness and niceness, so if she does anything lousy to you, she's going to look really bad.

Give someone enough rope, and they'll hang themselves.

 

[Octoberbride03]

Stay as FAR AWAY as you can from this coworker.

Trust me, the only answer for her is a strait jacket and low self esteem is the least of her problems.

She sounds just like the girl who lived next door to me my 1st semester in college. She imitated EVERYTHING and i do mean EVERYTHING her roommate did. From what she ate for dinner, to who she hung out with. SHE EVEN SLEPT WITH THE SAME GUYS AS HER ROOMMATE!!!

She spent the semester self destructing entirely. I later found out that on the last day of finals, she dissapeared from campus b4 her parents came to pick her up. It took 10 ppl 4 hours going all over campus and town b4 the campus psych center would admit to the parents that she had come by that morning for a mandatory session(all freshmen had 1) and finished the session by signing voluntary commitment papers for the hospital psych ward.
BTW her parents weren't exactly normal either. Boy do i have stories about this girl. But i'll stop here.

Good luck

 

[Margie J]

Thanks everyone. For the longest time I couldn't figure out if I was over reacting or really sensing something disturbed about this woman. Since it's a work situation I can't easily leave or blast at her so I feel stuck doing the best I can to avoid her.

I think other people at work are finally seeing what is happening 'cause I catch the and look on their faces sometimes.

This Psycho can't seem to be truly happy or have empathy for anyone else, especially other women. When a former co-worker came back for a visit recently and announced her engagement Ms. Psycho neither acknowledged her presence or the good news. She won't talk to or hardly look at the Mother of the kids who visit work every night after daycare. The Mom is a terrific person, intelligent (a MD) and social. Weeks after my Mom died she was all excited for me and the fact that I could now start a new life, woo hoo isn't that FUN! Nutcase.

She plays "helpless" and sweet with the guys initially and either avoids or disrupts the lives of the women around here. Then she gets demanding and possessive with the guys and wacko with the women. There's often a love-hate cycle too.

Of all things she now has a "boyfriend" at work, a guy she wanted nothing to do with last year. I feel sorry for the guy because he can't do anything without her. If you ask either of them what's going on he says they are "just friends" and she has visions of them starting their own workplace together in the near future. She had a fit over the Holidays when he went home for two weeks to be with his parents and brother. He hadn't seen them in a year and they live across the Country. He was already there for a meeting so he just stayed. Her response was "what about me?" and she felt that it was weird for an adult man to want to spend two or three weeks visiting his family. OMG

Anyway, thanks for the venting place. I can't do it anywhere else.

 

[DVC-Don]

We have an employee like that and we are about to fire her. The rest of the people in the office are getting upset about her.