Jay-nee's journal

[jay-nee]

Independence Day - boy, does that mean alot to me this year. Indepenence...hmmmm... from a life of oppression and, with the help of WISH, extra weight. Those are the biggies...

Well, yesterday, against what the gods of the lawn wanted - the lawn has been mowed and raked as well. Yes, all 2 acres of lawn! Started out with the battery problem then the belt finally fried - yes, smoke and all! Thankfully, my wonderful neighbors let me borrow their riding mower to finish the lawn and DS raked the entire lawn while I was "delivering" the mower back to its rightful owner. (actually I was chatting...) So what should have taken about 2 hours or so, took about 6 hours total. But, it's done and looks great again. stb xH wants to fix ours this week - GOOD is what I say - FINALLY! Just hope he doesn't clean out the house while we're away... yikes... I will not worry about this at DMs!

(btw, before I forget - thanks Kathy for the Bday wishes... )

I am really going to try and get in that hike if I can. I know it is overly ambitious for us (or at least me with my knee issues), but we'll have fun goofing off with it...maybe? If not, we can drive back to DMs and chill...

Still a few things left to do before we head out tomorrow morning. Plus, I found out my aunt is up at my DMs too, I am so excited to see her! And on my Bday no less - not sure if it was planned that way, but I'll take it!

Well, today I need to clean out the dog crate (its been stored in the barn - oops!), brush out the pony, fix the screen window in the barn, pack, and finish up the laundry. We will go in the pool too! Yippee! Yesterday, it didn't work out because of all the problems with the lawn gods...makes me think of the Tiki Room...

Hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th! Happy Monday!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

have a great day jaynee--happy 4th!!!

 

[rcyannacci]

Sounds like a busy day! Actually 2, counting yesterday.

Hope you have a good holiday!

 

[Jane E.]

Jaynee, I get worn out just reading about all of your gardening, mowing, animal tending etc. You must be in great shape. Thats not easy stuff to do. Have a Happy Birthday and get some R & R in.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

hope you are having a great weekend!

 

[jay-nee]

Had a nice relaxing visit with my DM and my sister and her family too. What fun! DS went tubing with his uncle and cousin, they have a new boat. It was great!

The weather was fairly cooperative too, and that was so nice!

I had a great 40th Bday with my DM, sister and her family, and my aunt came up from NH too! What a great Bday, I couldn't have asked for better!

I got some really cool gifts, but honestly, it was having my family around that made it what it was! My 2 kids decorated with their great aunt while I visited with my sister and my little niece (such a cutie!). Such a blast! The kids did a great job decorating, they wanted me to have a GREAT Bday and they made it possible.

I only gained 1 lb, but my official WI is Tuesday morning, I just wanted to see what, if any, damage was done. I had planned on riding my nephew's bike each day, but I was pretty busy with helping my DM around the house - it is WAY too much house for 1 person, so I try and help with the heavy stuff while I am up.

I have to get caught up on laundry, the lawn, etc, so I have to jet, but I wanted to say "hi!" to my WISH buddies! I missed WISH, it is part of me...

I'll catch up on journals on Tuesday (it's my LONG day tomorrow...yikes...).

Happy Sunday!

 

[calena]

Happy Birthday. I'm glad it was a good one. I liked your comment about Independence Day being independence from weight and other issues. I need an independence day too! Sometimes I get bogged down by junk that is so stupid and it is NOT good for me.
Glad things went so well with your family and you have a good supportive family. I am going to visit Mom and Day in August and I just love being in their home (not the home I grew up in since they moved countries) and being with mom. Sounds weird, but it is true. My parents have been with me for 10 days now and will be leaving tommorrow. I will miss them. It has been stressful at times, but a good visit. I just worry about if they are ok or this and that when I am the "host". I find they do better in their own home but they have ben a great help in mine with everything.

 

[jay-nee]

Well, trying to get back on track (gosh, I feel like I am always saying that! argh!) again...

Thankfully at WI I was at 148.5 - not bad considering that I have not been on the bike for over a week now.

This week has been insane, stb xH is driving us CRAZY! The kids and I hate using the phone and he just keeps calling and calling. Please STOP!

Work is going pretty good right now. I might have a chance at a new learning so I'm pretty excited. I hope I get chosen, but if not, it's ok, obviously not meant to be... I have a problem being stagnant at work and I've been so for close to 3 yrs, not good. And, right now, I could really use a change of pace.

It's hot and sticky today. I feel like I'm in the SE - not bad when you're on vacation and in and out of the AC, but not fun to live in here.

DS is getting lots of work pet sitting these days, very exciting for him. I'm glad. Now DD sees big bro making money and wants to take a Red Cross babysitting course and start babysitting when she turns 12. I say - go for it!

I'd like to take some adult ed courses or go back to college. I need some brain stimulation in my life. I'm going to make an appt with someone at the U Maine this summer. I just want to know how much more I need to get a BS in accounting, I already have a BA in Math. Hopefully not much. But I should know...

Well, dinners almost ready. I need to go grocery shopping so badly, that's one of the biggies on the agenda tomorrow.

Happy Thursday!

 

[rcyannacci]

jay-nee- I think taking a class sounds like a great idea! It sounds like you really thrive off of setting goals for yourself and meeting them, so this might be just the thing to keep you energized. It's really motivating to give your brain a "workout" just like you give the rest of your body- creates a kind of balance (at least, that's what I've been trying to tell myself the past few months to motivate me to exercise).

BTW- Austin is super hot!!! right now. I'm pretty much jumping from one air conditioned space to the next. But at least it's not humid.

HOpe you have a great day!

 

[Jane E.]

Jaynee, sounds like you're doing a great job! Send your son over to watch our animals next time we go to Disney. Its always a mad scramble to see where we're going to have the animals. The last time we went to WDW on spur of the moment our vet was booked up. My older son used to animal sit & made very good money. The people with the little dogs pay the best!

 

[NYcpa]

Go for the accounting degree. I may be a little biased but the work is interesting and you usually have enough variety so as not to become bored.

Hope your situation with stb ex-h gets finalized soon. The kids and you need some closure. Ever wonder why the suddenly become attentive to the kinds when they have ignored them virtually all their lives. I have an ex who is doing that to DD2. He doesn't even remember the date of her birthday which upset her.

Have a good day.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

class sounds like a great idea--i am glad DS is liking the money he is making...as for DD, i started babysitting at 12 and loved it--almost 21 and still babysitting
have a great weekend!

 

[plutosmyfav]

Hi Jay-nee

Congrats on holding your goal weight. You are an inspiration!

Back to school? Go for it!!!! I went back for a second degree at age 30. I started out in graphic design and then went back for a degree in physics. I'm so happy I did. Who knows, maybe you'll meet a nice guy in school!!!!!

Keep smiling

Sunny

 

[NYcpa]

Hope you have a great day and there is lots of . Keep your water and enjoy the day with your children.

 

[rcyannacci]

Hey jaynee...just stopping in to say hi and I hope you're having a good day!

 

[Cruise04]

Hope you are having a good day and congrats on wanting to go back to school!!!! Someday I will too - once dd gets to college and my life is not so hectic. I started once but never finished. A goal in my life is to finish something in college and get a degree - I've started two different degrees.

Keep on
Chris

 

[calena]

Going back to school sounds great. I think about it too sometimes. We will see.
Hope things are going well. It is hot here too.... but just think about January! Drink lots of water and stay cool.

 

[Cruise04]

Hope you are having a good day!

Keep on
Chris

 

[jay-nee]

I have not been on the computer at all lately... Gosh, so much going on.

1st I want to thank everyone who has stopped by my journal lately, it was so nice to come back to my support network. Because...

I am just learning how little support I really, truly have in this life. It is so good that I am a strong and naturally positive person, but I've also realized that is the survivor in me too.

I went to an all day seminar yesterday (court ordered) on helping my kids through divorce and it included an entire afternoon on domestice abuse and violence. I am now completely shell shocked. I already knew that my husband is a non-violent sociopath, but to learn that my Mother enabled him to continue his abuse on the kids and I has been a real eye-opener. I have only had my Mom (yes, typical isolationism of an abuser) and she never gave me a safe place to go (mentally or physically) and played into his games because she was so impressed by how much he provided for us (sick). Even now, she mentions that to me. Plus, she tells me how much I was impressed by this, and what was my second choice, I ask? I used to tell her how hurting I was and she would tell me to make my marriage a priority and it was hard for him too. I spent 19 yrs falling for this. Thank God he left, because I would have stayed with him. Our picture perfect exterior was only that. Inside our hearts were breaking, but we kept that smiley face on.

Well, so now, I am going to focus on how to break this cycle for my kids. Yes, picture perfect, but are they? I wonder... Or are they like me, just trying so hard to be like that? hmmmm They will be going to counseling very, very soon.

So I woke up today wondering where my life will now take me. Awareness is a strange thing, I can do anything with it, but I want to use it to effect change! Good change! Positive change! Baby steps (for the kids sake) - if it were just me - I'd jump both feet. I might even dive! But, I don't want to overwhelm them and I want them to feel like they are affecting their own change at their own pace. Kids - you don't have to be perfect anymore! This is probably why my kids have loved that I've always let them do what they want with their hair - they can control it, since everything else in their lives was controlled. Maybe, because they are kids, it won't mean as much to them. But, it is freedom for the 3 of us. And it will be utilized in a positive way! Look out world, 'cause here we come!

Soon, I will catch up with everyone, but not today. I need to finish processing what the heck has gone on here... wow...

Thanks again WISH friends for giving me a safe place to express myself. BTW, my weight is 149 lbs this morning. I'm getting too close to 150 again. Gotta make a plan about that! And stick to it!

Happy Sunday!

 

[Cruise04]

My 1st marriage was a verbally and mentally abusive marriage. But I kept at it for several years because I was told and taught that was what I needed to do. And the guilt that I had received from my mother-in-law was enough to drive anyone nuts. But stepping back and seeing the reality really helped me too. Hang in there and glad you have gotten this far - you can only remedy what you see!!!!!!

And you'll get back on track - you've had more priorities lately to think about and that needed to be the #1 thing to take care of right now!!!!

Keep on
Chris