Jay-nee's journal

[DisneyEnthusiastic]

Best wishes to you ard your family.

 

[sarahsmom73]

Oh Jay-nee!!! You are in my thoughts daily and I wish you and your family the best!!! Hang in there! It sounds like things are on a postive!

 

[jay-nee]

I WI'd in this morning and I am down another 5 lbs. I should be excited, but it's coming off too fast. I'm definately in a better place since this weekend at DM's house. I'm eating 3 times a day again, trying to exercise each day too. I walk Kip 3 times a day except Mondays (only 2 walks due to my work schedule), but I don't count this as exercise for me.

So, I now weigh 164 and I am beginning to fit in my size 12 jeans, one pair is definately better than the others. I'd like to tone up now, especially around my mid-section, love handles, thighs, and my arms. (sounds like everywhere, huh?) Not really that bad, I just remember how I looked 2 years ago and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm giving away 4 more pairs of pants to my Mom and sister, hoping that they can stay motivated.

I really have to dig out the Bowflex at this point and build some muscle and just tone my body again. I might even hang the heavy bag again and do some boxing (not kickboxing - bummed - due to unstable knee). It's a great cardio and anger reliever too! Plus, I think I need a change in my routine and soon. I still don't have my exercise bike working yet, the lazy tech won't return my calls...aaaaaaaargh!

I hope everyone is doing well. You have no idea how much it has helped to know my WISH friends have my back...

I'm hoping to take time soon to catch up on your journals. It is my intention, I'm just a little self-centered right now... sorry...

 

[jay-nee]

I have felt so out of the loop with everything in my life, that it feels good just to be in a routine again.

Yesterday, I rode my windtrainer for 30 minutes and did 20 minutes of pilates too. I think I'm up to 235 minutes for Feb. I wish I could get the darn tech to return my call and get my exercise bike fixed! I really love riding that bike so much better than the windtrainer.

Family is settling back too and that helps me to feel alot better about things. Hopefully this is a good sign. I was so blindsided before that I am not going to become complacent about my relationships again! I will have to stick a sign to the fridge or something.

Will be trying on my size 12s again this weekend. I won't wear them unless they are very comfortable through the mid-section. I really want to go shopping and get some new clothes soon too.

 

[wilderness01]

I just got caught up on your journal. I wish you and your family the best. Try and keep your chin up. I hope things work out for the best.

 

[DisneyEnthusiastic]

I hope you fit in those jeans this weekend..that would be such a boost! I guess you need to keep your guard up until you make sure you don't get blindsided again. I'm glad things are getting back to normal for you and your family. Take care.

 

[Strings]

Hi Jay-nee,
Congratulations on the weight loss. I am glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself. I hope things work out for your family.
Take care,
Beth

 

[sarahsmom73]

Great Job!!! Keep it up!!! Glad to hear things are settling in!

 

[jay-nee]

well, I had a bit of a meltdown today, I just think that things are starting to sink in and I am just SCARED... I don't want to go down this road ever again!

I finally heard back from the tech to fix my exercise bike! I am so happy!!!! Hoping that it will be fixed tomorrow! That will be such a huge boost.

So, things are ok on the homefront for right now. I'm trying to be ok with that (I know that sounds wierd...).

The kids are doing great, really great. It helps that I'm not dwelling on this constantly. Also, I go for a walk or out to the barn if I need some time to think, cry, whatever... much healthier for everyone while I am dealing with all of this...

I have been pretty good about the windtrainer. I am going to switch bikes on it (if I can) and give the mountain bike a try (much, much more comfortable!). I have been doing pilates every other day but I am going to dig out the Bowflex today (hopefully) and give that a whirl. I will try for 2-3 times a week with the basic workout to start. I have never really gotten into it, but I love to lift, so with my motivation level, I should be able to get into a groove with it.

I'm eating alot better (just having an appetite is a great start). I usually start my morning off with whole wheat total with craisens and walnuts and skim milk. I try to eat a piece of fruit sometime before lunch, usually a banana. For lunch I have a peanut butter and preserves on 100% whole wheat bread and skim milk. I eat a normal supper, but smaller portions. Plus, more water than my body really wants, probably still not enough though.

No additional sweets anymore.

This probably sounds like alot of food to everyone, but I put alot of energy into a day. Plus, I used to eat at least twice this amount, scary, huh?

I am trying to use fitday.com and figure out my calories, but it's a pain for me to get used to. I'm thinking about breaking down and seeing a nutrionist if I can track my eating for a couple of weeks 1st. I really want to learn to eat for life, health, fitness. Not sure what I am doing is right. But, I will say, I have huge amounts of energy since I've cut out alot of the fats and sweets. That has been a huge benefit especially through all of this.

Thanks all for your support and kind words.

 

[geetey]

Keep messing with Fitday, Jay-Nee. It will get easier and faster - especially as you get 'your' foods added in.

I am happy to hear the kids are doing well. I know this is hard on you. Hard on everyone. Keep your chin up. I am sending prayers and for you and yours.

 

[wilderness01]

Hang in there and keep your chin up.

Actually that doesn't sound like a whole lot of food, but just enough.

 

[sarahsmom73]

Jay - nee! You are going through a major stressor right now, and the feelings you are having are normal.. Please know we are all here to support you in any way we can... Come on in here if you need a good cry!! We'll help you get though!!!!

 

[Strings]

Jay-nee,

You are going through a lot, and you are dealing with it. You'll have moments where you cry. I think you are handling everything with a lot of class.

You are doing great with your menus. I think you have a pretty good balance to diet. Looks good to me.

Have a good weekend,
Beth

 

[jay-nee]

I appreciate the positive thoughts on my daily intake. I am really trying to eat the right things daily! It's hard. There is this place not far from us that sells HOMEMADE chix pies, they are so good. We always buy 2 and have the leftovers the next day for lunch. I cut each pie into 8 slices. I was so good, I only had 1 1/2 slices the first night and NONE for lunch, I had tuna salad instead.

I am trying so hard to learn to be good and to not feel deprived because it will make me so much healthier for the rest of my life. But, it's so hard to be good... DH eats everything in sight and the kids, of course, can eat anything (both are very slim). The kids are picking up my healthy eating habits, I am so proud of that! I wish DH would get a clue (in more ways that one! ).
I had to put that in...

BTW, update on my exercise bike, more parts are needed, argh! I will be using the windtrainer for another week. But, when he fixes it, it should be for good this time! He seemed nice and really wants to fix it right.

I shoveled for about another 1 1/2 hrs today, 2 1/2 yesterday! ARGH! I'm sick of that, but it does burn the calories! yippee!!!

I will keep plugging away at fitday.com, hopefully I can figure it out better for me! I'm sure it helps to know how much you really are taking in each day, huh? I know that sounds dumb, but this is so new to me...

Hope everyone is doing well.

 

[jay-nee]

is Saturday! Finally, oh, finally, the weekend! We are all shoveled out for this storm so, I might be able to enjoy the weekend a bit too!

I dug out the Bowflex on Thursday and I've decided to do the basic 20 minutes workout on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Fridays. I will keep up with the windtrainer for 30 minutes (ouch!) each day and do pilates on most of the alternate days. I measured my waist today and it is 31". I am starting to feel good about how I look and people are definately noticing at work too. Kinda funny to me because it wasn't that long ago that I looked like this and I didn't think people had really noticed that I had gotten big. I don't notice stuff like that at all!

I'm going to try my size 12s again this weekend. My 14s are feeling quite baggy, I love wearing jeans like that! I'd like to go shopping for myself, but honestly, past jeans and t-shirts, I have no idea where to start! I don't even know what is in style. Not too many younger people work at my office, so not really sure where to start with the clothing revamp. I need to give this some thought, hmmmm...

I really, really do not want to ever get that big again, so I am starting to think/plan maintenance. I read KimRaye's thread about maintenance and I do need to be accountable, a challenge would help me. As you all have figured out, those work for me in a HUGE way! My competitive side showing through! I will always weigh myself weekly for the rest of my life. Also, just exercising each day has made such a difference in my knee, I will not stop biking anytime soon. My knee feels so good. I go back to the ortho on 03/23/05 (had to reschedule again, due to snow storm! argh!). I think he will be impressed with my progress! I know I am.

I have definately learned what I need to stay away from...sweets! They were my downfall! I am afraid to eat any sweets, I am so afraid that I will get sucked in so fast! Also, heavy sauces. My kids are so bummed that I will not make Alfredo or order Egg Foo Yong anymore. I am just so scared that if I have them in the house, I will go crazy. Probably not fair to the kids, huh? I will have to learn more self-control. Actually, in contrast, it's better for them too.

Well, on with the day! I am trying to begin to catch up on my fellow WISHers journals, now that my life is starting (I hope!) to calm down a bit. I'm still very weary, but trying to learn to be ok with things... yikes...

BTW, I know I have said this before...but, I have to say it again, this board and my fellow WISHers have really, honestly, made the biggest difference in my success. I don't think I would have accomplished much without WISH. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope I am able to give back over time, what I received! I will surely try!

 

[sarahsmom73]

Love ya!!!

 

[jay-nee]

I kept up with my workouts and did very well on my eating. We did go out for pizza on Saturday but, I had only 2 slices! I also had ginger ale, but I hate soda, so it just reenforces that! Bring on the water, COLD mik, and juice and I'm good!

Things are ok on the homefront. Counseling is clarifying for me too. I really need some time away from all this, but I can not imagine leaving the kids at this point. I may do it anyway.

Counselor thinks I need to do something(s) for myself, not sure where to start with that, but I'd love a massage. So, I'm thinking about jumping in!

Any ideas/suggestions from any of you WISHers? What do you all do for yourselves?

Hope everyone is having a great Valentine's Day!

 

[keenercam]

Hi, Jay-nee -- just wanted to say hello and send you hugs and pixie dust
I really hope you are doing okay. Look at all you have accomplished! I hope things are better for your family. I am such an emotional eater that what you are going through would completely ruin my healthy eating and fitness habits. I am glad you have your walks and your exercise as an outlet.

As for something you can do for yourself, how about a spa pedicure? Our local nail salons do their pedicures with the client sitting in a massage chair that is so wonderful! You should consider this.

Congratulations again and good luck!

 

[pettyone]

Things are ok on the homefront. Counseling is clarifying for me too. I really need some time away from all this, but I can not imagine leaving the kids at this point. I may do it anyway.

Counselor thinks I need to do something(s) for myself, not sure where to start with that, but I'd love a massage. So, I'm thinking about jumping in!

I hope you're able to get a bit of time away...you need to take care of yourself too, so that you can take care of the kids...sounds like a cliche', I know!

A massage would be heavenly!! Oh, or maybe one of those mud baths!! Seaweed wrap?! Any sort of spa pampering gets my vote...except a pedicure, I DO NOT want anyone touching my feet!!

 

[sarahsmom73]

Massages are great!!! I love the hot stone massage.. Deep heat!!! I also love to scrapbook .... When I can do it it is very theraputic!!! Right now my saving grace has been the hour a day on the tredmill!!!! Right now I need that mfor mywelf more than anything!!!!

To you!