JACK GRUBMAN ADMITS HYPING TOYS R US STOCK IN EXCHANGE FOR CHICKEN DANCE ELMO
Batteries Not Included, Citigroup Claims
Solomon Smith Barney star analyst Jack Grubman admitted today that he raised his rating on Toys R Us stock in the hopes of securing a hard-to-find Chicken Dance Elmo toy for his twin children.
Emails exchanged between Mr. Grubman and Sanford Weill, the CEO of Solomons parent company Citigroup, reveal the lengths to which Mr. Grubman was willing to go to obtain the coveted chicken-dancing toy before the holiday shopping season got under way.
Sandy, I am prepared to rate Toys R Us a strong buy in exchange for a Chicken Dance Elmo, Mr. Grubman wrote in one of the emails, published today in The Wall Street Journal. But whatever you do, dont let the Wall Street Journal ever get their hands on this email.
Mr. Weill, trying to control damage from the roiling Chicken Dance Elmo scandal, issued a statement today minimizing the quid-pro-quo nature of Mr. Grubmans hyping of Toys R Us stock.
While Mr. Grubman did in fact obtain a Chicken Dance Elmo from Toys R Us, batteries were not included, the statement read.
News of the scandal pummeled the stock of Toys R Us, which was already in a free-fall last week after the retailing giant admitted a major grammatical error in its company name.
It should be We 'R' Toys, the terse company statement read.
The company also admitted discovering that the R in its logo was printed backwards and estimated that it would cost upwards of $30 billion to correct the mistake.
***Borowitz Reports****
Batteries Not Included, Citigroup Claims
Solomon Smith Barney star analyst Jack Grubman admitted today that he raised his rating on Toys R Us stock in the hopes of securing a hard-to-find Chicken Dance Elmo toy for his twin children.
Emails exchanged between Mr. Grubman and Sanford Weill, the CEO of Solomons parent company Citigroup, reveal the lengths to which Mr. Grubman was willing to go to obtain the coveted chicken-dancing toy before the holiday shopping season got under way.
Sandy, I am prepared to rate Toys R Us a strong buy in exchange for a Chicken Dance Elmo, Mr. Grubman wrote in one of the emails, published today in The Wall Street Journal. But whatever you do, dont let the Wall Street Journal ever get their hands on this email.
Mr. Weill, trying to control damage from the roiling Chicken Dance Elmo scandal, issued a statement today minimizing the quid-pro-quo nature of Mr. Grubmans hyping of Toys R Us stock.
While Mr. Grubman did in fact obtain a Chicken Dance Elmo from Toys R Us, batteries were not included, the statement read.
News of the scandal pummeled the stock of Toys R Us, which was already in a free-fall last week after the retailing giant admitted a major grammatical error in its company name.
It should be We 'R' Toys, the terse company statement read.
The company also admitted discovering that the R in its logo was printed backwards and estimated that it would cost upwards of $30 billion to correct the mistake.
***Borowitz Reports****
