I've reached that awkward stage in a relationship...

[Charade]

I've been seeing a really nice woman (Laura!) for about 5 months. We're going to Disney next month. The other night uttered the "L" word. I like her a lot and see this relationship going places. However, I don't think I can reciprocate. Not just yet. She left me a note that she meant what she said and would wait for me.

It's been so long since I was at this point in a relationship, I'm not sure how to handle it. I guess I will know when the time is right. Hopefully.

What was your experience at this point in your relationship?

 

[Jeafl]

My advice? Don't say it back until you are sure you mean it. Since you didn't say it back right away she will know that you aren't being sincere.

I would just tell her that it means a lot to you that she feels that way, and that you are well on your way to feeling the same. I myself would prefer that you be honest.

Good luck!

 

[LoraJ]

I agree with Jill.

Maybe the right moment will come while the two of you are watching "Wishes".

 

[Papa Deuce]

I've been seeing a really nice woman (Laura!) for about 5 months. We're going to Disney next month. The other night uttered the "L" word. I like her a lot and see this relationship going places. However, I don't think I can reciprocate. Not just yet. She left me a note that she meant what she said and would wait for me.

It's been so long since I was at this point in a relationship, I'm not sure how to handle it. I guess I will know when the time is right. Hopefully.

What was your experience at this point in your relationship?

I never once said it before I meant it.

 

[Buckalew11]

Me too. Never say until you mean it. DH told me so soon I thought I'd die and I certainly wasn't ready to say it nor did I know if I even believed him! LOL Wait until you are sure.

 

[snoopy]

Oh Good Lord, that poor woman. She never learned NEVER EVER mention the L word before he does.

(o.k., taking my cynic hat off now)

Uhhh, I agree with the others -- don't say it until you mean it. But you do know that she is going to be waiting for it, right? I would guess there is going to be some tension until you've committed to it either way.

 

[lovemygoofy]

At least make sure you say something not just like I "like" you. At least explain that you are having some deep feelings that you need to put a name on yourself before telling her the L word. Tell her somethng about how you only say it when you mean it.

Now I have to tell you that when my dh, then bf, told me he loved me the first time. I hung up on him and everytime after that for a week anytime he mentioned the L word. At least you didn't do that or puke. I did that too when he told me in person. Sign of true love.

 

[MagicalMom]

I would assume that any man that took me to Disney must be madly in love with me! Why else would he want to share the magic with me.

I would explain to her that it is not a word that you throw around lightly. That way is you ever do utter those words it will be so much more. Now while in Disney don't problaim you love to every gal there. No "I love you Belle! I love you Minnie! I love you Cindy!" shouted across mainstreet, you don't want her to get jealous!

 

[Bob Slydell]

Eh, what the heck, tell her you love her!! You can always break it off later!



































Pssssttt -- I'm kidding

 

[Christine]

I would assume that any man that took me to Disney must be madly in love with me! Why else would he want to share the magic with me.

Me too!!

And didn't you just get out of a long-term relationship (marriage?). It seems to me that it might take me a LOT longer than 5 months to determine if I was in love or not if I were in your shoes.

I've always had a bit of problem anyway distinguishing between the whole love/lust thing... I think men are a lot better at that than women.

 

[Aidensmom]

At least make sure you say something not just like I "like" you. At least explain that you are having some deep feelings that you need to put a name on yourself before telling her the L word. Tell her somethng about how you only say it when you mean it.

I agree with this, it will help take away some of the awkwardness. I know from experience, as this is what I heard from my now DH when we were in this situation.

 

[Duckfan-in-Chicago]

The other night uttered the "L" word. What was your experience at this point in your relationship?

Loofah?

I'm all about cleanliness at any point in a relationship.

 

[Laurajean1014]

I somewhat agree with the others. I would say it when I felt it. However, by the brief description of this woman, I would say she is a keeper. I'm not sure of your age, but after 20, your chances of finding a good partner is slim. As people age, they get less patient with "trying people on."

The fact that you want to go on vacation with her, is a commitment in itself. The fact that you have been together for 5 months is a commitment in itself.

What are your feelings for her? How deep do they go?

Do you have reservations with her or the "L" word? By 5 months, these answers should come easily for you..... and so should the "L" word, if this is how you feel!

Good luck and let us know how things work out.

 

[Maleficent13]

I'm not sure of your age, but after 20, your chances of finding a good partner is slim.

Wow! Lucky me that I didn't know this!

Are you sure you meant 20??? That seems a bit young for most of your romantic chances to be behind you.

To answer the OP, I agree that if you were taking me to Disney, I would probably assume the "L" word. But whomever said she was going to be waiting for it was right...she probably will be.

 

[snoopy]

I also think maybe you are gun shy, having been divorced before.

For me, though, love is not something I have to wait to know if its there. It is, or it isn't.

 

[MerryPoppins]

I've been married for 21 years. I started dating DH in college. He told me a couple of weeks into our relationship that he loved me. Now, I loved him too. I mean I was crazy to spend time with him and had a terrible crush on him. And I use the word love loosely with my friends and family. But that wasn't what he meant. He meant he LOVED me! I told him I didn't use that word lightly. That I cared for him deeply, but to give me some time. A few days later, I told him that I'd been thinking and I wanted to say that I loved him too. He was thrilled and said, "Good, because I want to marry you someday!" Scared me to death! But he was right.

Don't feel rushed to say something you aren't ready to say. Open up and tell her what you are feeling. She should feel good that you have deep feelings for her. And she should understand that after divorce you are a bit slower to say the word love this soon in a relationship.

 

[mark&sue]

I was married after 5 months so at your stage we had both said it!!! but we didn't go to WDW until we had been together for one and half years so it must be love for you!!!

I think you either know you are or not. If you want to spend all your time with someone and think about them all the time that usually tells you.

Good luck to you both



Susan

 

[Charade]

I would assume that any man that took me to Disney must be madly in love with me! Why else would he want to share the magic with me.

I would explain to her that it is not a word that you throw around lightly. That way is you ever do utter those words it will be so much more. Now while in Disney don't problaim you love to every gal there. No "I love you Belle! I love you Minnie! I love you Cindy!" shouted across mainstreet, you don't want her to get jealous!

I'll keep that in mind but I can't promise I'll be able to control myself when I see Ariel. ( those shells!!)

 

[Charade]

Eh, what the heck, tell her you love her!! You can always break it off later!



































Pssssttt -- I'm kidding

Smooth Bob, reaaaaaal smooth.

 

[Charade]

Me too!!

And didn't you just get out of a long-term relationship (marriage?).

Yes. 16 years but that pretty much ended about 2 years ago.

It seems to me that it might take me a LOT longer than 5 months to determine if I was in love or not if I were in your shoes.

I agree but I can't remember how long into my previous relationships (marriage and all) when that happened. I'm not trying to set a timeline because I believe I'll know it when it happens.

I've always had a bit of problem anyway distinguishing between the whole love/lust thing... I think men are a lot better at that than women.

Oh, we're real good at the lust thing.