I've had it with mommies in the CHANGE ROOM at the pool!!

[The Mystery Machine]

I swim several times a week at the university pool. There are always several swimming classes going on. This past week I've had TWO comments from mommies with older boys (between 8 - 10, I'd guess) about how I could change in private - I assume to protect their near pubescent boy from 30 seconds of my horrible nakedness as I change in and out of my swim suit.

The pool has a family change room for just this reason! It's not like there isn't another option available if you absolutely need to be with your son as he changes. But I am not scurrying off to change in the one of the two tiny (wet!) private showers/change rooms because you dragged your far-too-old-to-be-there boy into the women's change room!

I don't actually care that your son is in there. You're comfortable with it, fine. But at a pool, in a change room, you've got to be prepared to see people changing. The next mom who gives me static is getting an earful because I've just about had it...

Rant over...

I would have had it out with them, told them I was going to talk to management, and then speak with management to complain about the women in the locker room who were bringing their pre pubescent boys into the women's locker room so they can see me naked. Oh yes.

 

[Hrhpd]

I use to take my kids to swim at the YMCA when DS was about 8 years old up until last summer. He had to enter through the men's locker room to get to the pool and after we swam he took his dry clothes and towels and went into a bathroom stall or shower stall... his choice, and changed into his dry clothes. He knew to not drop his dry clothes on the floor and to make sure he brought out all of his wet stuff and his towel.

It never occurred to me to even take him in through the women's area.

I am not sure what the rules are exactly at the Y. I know they don't have a family changing room at ours. They just have the men's and the women's.

But I never got naked out in the main locker room either. I changed in privacy and I wouldn't want to see other ppl naked either.

And as for not teaching our kids to hide their bodies...UM. Yeah I will teach mine that they do need to keep their naked bodies private unless it is with their significant other or spouse.

Kids don't have to shower in front of each other at school. And if they change for P.E they can change in private.

I believe in teaching (especially girls) modesty and self respect.

But in the case of the OP I never would have let that slip with the first mom let alone the second mom. I would not have been able to hold my tongue. I would have told them exactly what I thought about little 10 yr old Johnny in the locker room with naked ladies.

My son swam varsity for his high school all 4 years, so we have been to lots and lots and lots of high school pools.

At almost all of them, the showers were large open rooms with multiple shower heads, no private stalls.

DS said he just left his jammers on when he showered, but a ton of the boys did not.

So, it is a fallacy to say that kids do not have to shower in front of each other in school. Many schools have open showers. Not a big deal at all.

But then I also believe that self-respect includes not being ashamed of your body and being able to comfortably change in front of same-sex peers.

Also...5 pages and not a single person chiming in that they will take their boy into the women's room no matter what anybody else thinks? Usually in the bathroom threads, by now there are plenty of moms defending their choices. Maybe there is hope that the trend is slowing down?

 

[SmallWorld71]

I expect things like what happened to the OP used to happen at our local Y, because it now has five (yes five) different locker rooms - women's, men's, girls', boys', and family - and there are clear ages posted on each door. It was like that when we joined, so I'm not sure when they were divided up.

Ours is the same. Are you on the South Shore? Maybe it's the same one.

I really like the way it's divided up. There's a solution for every family scenario.

 

[Kimberle]

(I haven't read all the reply's.)

I don't have a problem with a 8-10 yo boy seeing a grown woman change. What I have a problem with is a 8-10 yo boy seeing my 8-12 yo daughter change.

When my dd was on the swim team, the woman's locker room would be full of 8-16 yo girls changing. A few Mom's would bring their ds's into the locker rooms. There were only 2 private areas blocked with curtains. They would make a beeline to have their son's change there, saying "Albert is to old to have girls/women see him change." Well, if he's to old to BE SEEN, then he is to old to SEE!

 

[Wishing on a star]

I will finally chime in here....
NO WAY would I change in front of a boy that age...
If one request did not prompt the mother to have her son leave the area, then I would have went and looked for somebody from staff because.. "Sorry, I need to change, but there seems to be a young man in the women's locker room. Can you come check this out and maybe do something about it..."

I can also remember the thread some time ago about the woman, who I think was with her daughter, and another exhibitionist came up totally nude, even propped her one leg up on the bench, (sorry for the visual image!!!!), and proceeded to try to have a conversation. There ARE those exhibitionist who see this as a great opportunity...

I'll bet that there are those who are biting their tongue who would defend bringing their little precious entitled prince into the women's locker room. I think it is what I tend to call the "six foot five year old" phenomenon. I see very, very, VERY few young men my son's age who have been, or are, being raised to be independent and responsible. Overinvolved parents see that they are never held responsible for anything. The number of six-foot five year olds that I seem to have encountered now that my son is a teen, it is just... and and

PS: I can remember, back in the day, there were no private or even partitioned areas in the showers in the school locker rooms. I think that this is still common.

 

[nicolita3]

I'm so glad that at our Y they have signs that say if you are with children under 14 you must use the family room.

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm so glad that at our Y they have signs that say if you are with children under 14 you must use the family room.

So they would be OK with a 13 year old boy in the women's changing room?

 

[dansamy]

So they would be OK with a 13 year old boy in the women's changing room?

No. They aren't. They're Ok with you taking them into the FAMILY change room as opposed to bringing them into the regular locker rooms.

 

[mom2rtk]

No. They aren't. They're Ok with you taking them into the FAMILY change room as opposed to bringing them into the regular locker rooms.

Duh. I totally misread that. But this day and age they probably ought to also post a sign saying that 14 and over must use the appropriate gender's changing room.

 

[nicolita3]

Also the family rooms at my Y are mostly a bunch of changing stalls and bathrooms, where as the men and women only have like 3 and is open with lockers all around.

 

[krcit]