Meals on Wheels provides one meal a day--the noon meal--Monday through Friday. Meals are hit or miss.
I would contact an eldercare attorney (forgot to mention this) and have him talk with FIL. He can draw up power of attorney and power for medical authorization forms. The doctor's offices have a form that fil can fill out about giving medical info to others or he could write a letter and sign it.
Also, it is Medicaid that would be giving him assistance with the nursing home costs, not Medicare. (Medicare would pay for up to 100 days if he would fall, etc, and need to be in the nh for rehab). If he goes to assisted living, I believe that expense is on him--so if his only income is SS, he would probably have to sell the home to pay for it unless the siblings are all going to kick in for it.
Medicaid has a whole packet to fill out to receive aid. It took about 1 month for the process for my mom and she was already in the nursing home. I have heard that for someone not in the nh, the process can be longer. A hint with the process is to provide everything that they "might" need (bank statements for 3 months, proof of income and insurance, etc) with the initial application. Also, if you can hand deliver it to the SRS office it cuts down on snail mail time. You can also fax in documents if you have that capability, but I always worried about the pages not all getting to the right person. Also, make copies of everything that you submit, keep a note on dates and times and names of people who you talk to. Nursing home social workers can help you with the application process as well.
DH and his siblings need to decide soon--perhaps tomorrow--who should be the one to have POA's. That person should also be on the bank account. I would also have someone go online tomorrow and have fil's name and address put on the no junk mail lists and his phone number on the do not call list. If fil's city has a no solicitation ordinance, get a sign to put on the front door--it may not turn everyone away, but it is a deterence. (My neighbor has a bigger notice on solicitation on her door and I can get a copy of it for you--gives definition of solicitation, etc, and they have not been bothered by solicitors because as soon as they see the sign, they know the neighbors are serious.)
How susceptible is fil to giving money to other people who come to his door, call him on the phone, etc? Would he give out his bank account or social security information? Would he let strangers in his house? These are also things you need to think about if he stays in his home.
What is going to happen to fil while you are working these things out? Are the siblings going to take turns staying with him or having him in their homes? It doesn't sound like he can be left alone.
From your post it really sounds like he needs to be someplace where someone else is taking care of him and his daily needs. And it really sounds as if he needs nursing home care rather than assisted living. If none of the siblings live close or are able to take him in, this might be the best option for him, as hard as it may be. Go around and visit nursing homes. Show up at different times of the days. Ask friends for referrals.
As for the house. No, he probably doesn't need to sell it, but Medicaid (if he uses that) can put a lein against the home for the proceeds upon his death. So, basically you pay them one way or the other. Also, if he keeps the home and is in the nursing home and is helped by Medicaid, who will pay the taxes and insurance on the home? If he does rent it, that would be considered income and could affect his eligibility depending on the amount of rent. If he does sell it, as I mentioned earlier, he can use some of the proceeds to buy a burial plan--otherwise who will pay for this? The siblings? You might be able to take it out of the proceeds of the sale after his death, but if he is on medicaid I'm not sure about that. You can call the SRS office and ask about that. Those are questions to ask the eldercare lawyer.
My mom lived with us for 7 years before she went to the nursing home. She had two falls in less than 6 months, one at home during the night and she laid there for 5 hours before we found her in the morning--her bedroom is on first floor and ours are on second. She was in rehab for 2 months.
Next fall was in the bathroom of the beauty salon. She went in the hospital and then to rehab and then remained in nursing home. She would have needed 24 hour care and she did not have the money to pay it. Medicare would pay for some, but it wouldn't make a dent. My husband travels a lot and we have a teen son who is busy with activities. I have a daughter who lives with her family in California.
The primary care for my mother would have landed upon me (actually it has been me for the last 7 years)--I have no siblings. Just getting her to doctor appointments, getting her meds, taking her shopping, meeting all of her other needs during that time could be exhausting in itself. I knew I could not work all day and then take care of her now more demanding needs at night or I would not have gotten any sleep and would have ended up sick myself. For my sanity and health, the well being of my family, and for my mom's best interests, the nursing home is the best place for her.
Again, hugs
and good luck on getting this all sorted out.
You asked for help and I suggested family. Your family wants others to help.
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