Its going to be ok, right?

[mm_ja]

I feel I needed to vent, or maybe just get it off my chest is a better way to describe what I need. I also need some support from people who understand, maybe been in a similar situation, or have advice. First off I feel I should put out a small disclaimer. I don’t mean to bring anyone down. I don’t know if this is the right place to post this. I know my wife and I have issues. Things are not as bad as they may seem overall, this type if incident is just a sore spot, not only about Disney but other things as well. Ok, so my wife is a Disney fan, but not near as much as I am. We booked a trip to WDW scheduled for next December. We will be there the 15th – 22nd. We chose this week so our 2 DSs will miss a minimum amount of school, we get to see Disney at Christmas, and miss the worst crowds. I am still concerned with crowd levels, and think if we could avoid them that would be great. So, I sign up for TGM, and read everything I can here on the boards to get a feel for what to expect and come up with a plan. Of course I do all this without her knowing, because I would be basically ridiculed for spending time doing something so frivolous, especially when our trip is over 10 months away (back in February). My plan was to gently over the course of time start bringing up ideas and plans the closer we got. Well, step one is ADRs, our 180 day window opens on the 18th of this month (Monday). We had had a few quick chats about what we would like to do about meals. She had even said to me at one time “We need to figure out what date we can start making reservations for meals”. I perked up and said oh I know, I have it written on my calendar. I get a look that just said what a nerd. Anyway for several weeks I had been working out a preliminary itinerary that I felt would work for everyone based on TGM advice and information found here. I came up with a list of restaurants I thought would be a good choice for us and decided this weekend I need to talk with her about it. Again trying to not seem so “loserish” to my wife and let on I had been doing all of this for months, I came up with a small plan. I wrote down all the info from TGM on his least crowded parks advice, hours of operation, and MVMCP party dates. I left this on the desk next to the computer hoping she would see it and ask “Hey, what is all this?” and I would have an opening or I could just say to her “Hey, I know our ADR date is coming up and here is some information I found that I think we can use to help plan things”. Well, I don’t know if she saw my notes or what, but I walked in the door from work yesterday and she is sitting there with a notepad and the Unofficial Guide to Disney. Of course it is the 2005 version I bought and we didn’t use for our last trip. I asked what she was reading and we did talk a little, but the kids wanted to play, and I asked her to please let me be involved in since this was important to me. Basically she could have cared less about any information I had, and said she thought it was too important to me. I got upset, but calmed down and thought we would talk some more later. When I got a chance to look at her notes, it was a bunch of restaurants she had written down and some basic questions like find out operating hours, and dates of MVMCP (stuff I could have answered for her) it should also be noted that she has all of the dining plan information from our 2005 trip she is using as reference material. Anyway, right about the time the kids go to bed, she picks up her book and notes heads to the bedroom, and closes the door. This is not unusual she normally goes to bed very early, but again it just takes away any chance for us to talk. So anyway I am just upset because I see how this is going to end. She is a SAHM so she uses her time during the day to get things done. This is good, but at the same time I never know what is going on. Several times I have asked her to let me be involved with the household budget and paying bills and stuff, but she does all that during the day while I am gone, and when I get home I am constantly with the kids till they got bed, and she normally goes to sleep at the same time. Anyway, I could be wrong, but I have a bad feeling that when I get home this afternoon she will have made plans her way, without letting me be involved. I know in the grand scheme of family and life this is not a terrible thing, at the end we will still go to Disney, we just may end up being in the wrong place at the wrong time with all of the crowds. What bothers me and hurts the most is her belittling me for something I find so fun and interesting. She just totally dumps on me for “wasting my time” with all this. That she has such a lack of respect for me and my interests and basically thinks I have nothing to offer to this (and several other things) vacation planning. My wife is a person who likes to plan, and so am I. For several things we have differing views on how to handle things. I normally let her do things her way so that we don’t get into a big fight, but most things we disagree on are not as important to me as this. Like I said things are not as terrible as I make them out to be, but this is an area that is a sore spot. Sorry for the long post, it feels better just to get this off my chest.

 

[Blondiex46]

I know this is a big deal to you. I am not organized except for when I go on vacation. I am not married but my question if I had one would be why can't you compromise on the plans and plan the vacation as a family. If people wanted to be involved on my end I would but they don't and believe by now they are are probably annoyed at all the stuff I am sending. If they don't have things or don't have directions, etc. it is up to them to figure it out. What is the worst that could happen? Two people married alittle anal and controlling doesn't make a happy marriage. It is going to be alright....good luck

 

[nuzmom]

Could we do a DH swap?

My DH leaves all the planning up to me. He tries to act interested, but he just has confidence that I'll take care of it and it will be great. I really don't mind too much, but it's a little more "pressure" than I'd like.

I want to mention to you that most wives have NO IDEA that what we do can be disrespectful to our husbands. This was a real eye opener to me - husbands want RESPECT. Seriously, most wives don't know how important it is. I would strongly recommend that you grab whatever time you have and tell you wife that you REALLY want to do the vacation planning WITH HER. Let her know that you've done some of the research already and want to share it with her. You know how her time is limited being a SAHM and maybe you could save her some time. Please let her know that you feel disrespected when you're left out of the planning and that this is something that is important to you.

You MUST talk to her!!!! Focus on how this makes you feel and what you'd like to happen. Don't come across that she's done anything wrong - she may think that she's actually helping you by doing it "for you". She may be thinking "well, I'm helping plan the vacation." Let her know that you want to sit down and do this together!!!!!

Oh and don't worry - ADRs can be changed!!!!!

Best wishes

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Now I would think with both of you being planners that it would be a match made in heaven. Then again, I guess that leaves a lot of room for head butting if you have different ideas. I'm not sure I know what the answer is for your situation. I truly empathize with you about the belittling, when someone is continually knocking you or discounting you, it is very tough to take. My DH left his ex-wife for that very reason, it finally wore on him after 23 years. I'm not saying that is anything like what you are dealing with, but just that I know it is not easy to live with. I made one very biting comment to DH once and had to check myself and think if the tables were turned, I would not want to be spoken to that way. You really need to have a talk with DW about this in general, not just with respect to Disney. Nothing will change if you don't say something. If she doesn't take steps to correct it, then that is another matter for another day.

If it were me, I would not worry so much about DW mocking you and I would just say that you are really excited about the trip and want to help make it as perfect as possible and you want to plan it out together. I don't think there is anything wrong with that since it is a family trip. I understand it is much easier when one person takes the reigns so to speak, but no one person knows everything. I try and get opinions and input from my family on where they want to eat, parks, accomodations, etc. After that, DH tells me to "set it up". I guess I don't understand why your DW doesn't want to take the information from you-does she think your not capable of giving her the correct info? Even if that were the case, she could always double check your info later.

I hope you are able to work things out. I can't imagine NOT being part of our vacation planning, but I never mind sharing that job with DH or my kids. Good luck to you-I really hope things turn out positively and of course, you will have a great trip no matter what!

 

[jagafen]

Well, I don’t know if she saw my notes or what, but I walked in the door from work yesterday and she is sitting there with a notepad and the Unofficial Guide to Disney. Of course it is the 2005 version I bought and we didn’t use for our last trip. I asked what she was reading and we did talk a little, but the kids wanted to play, and I asked her to please let me be involved in since this was important to me. When I got a chance to look at her notes, it was a bunch of restaurants she had written down and some basic questions like find out operating hours, and dates of MVMCP (stuff I could have answered for her) it should also be noted that she has all of the dining plan information from our 2005 trip she is using as reference material.

Okay... will you marry me??? I haven't even booked our Summer 2008 trip yet (waiting for packages to come out), but I already have a rough itinerary of our days, and restaurants picked out for dinner and CS lunches (we'll be doing the DDP).

It seems like your wife could use a gentle reminder that she is using outdated materials that may not have the most accurate information. That may be an "easy in" for you to show her what you have been working on. Or, (read gently) maybe her distance is a reaction on her part due to "imposed plans" from the last trip. I'm just guessing here, I don't live with you guys, I'm just trying to see it from both sides!

I too am an uber-planner. My husband recognizes this, and understands my need to plan something....vacations, birthday parties, our wedding....he is ok with this though, and realizes that for me, part of the fun is immersing myself in the details and making notes, then re-arranging my notes, adding color coding, making charts, cross referencing the color coded charts, and you can see how much fun it is!

One way I keep him in the loop, and this may work with your wife too (since she is "so busy with the kids all day " and you want to "help out as much as you can with the planning to take some of the responsibility off her "...without sounding condescending of course!) is to do the background info and then present him with a short list of pros and cons for the options (e.g. when we were picking our resort), or leave the appropriate web page on the computer so that he can read the info for himself. Then we sit down and make the decisions together. It saves him time to get a synopsis from me (trust me, he would rather watch ESPN while I'm "doing Disney stuff" ) than be involved in every little detail! Would your wife be more responsive to that? She would still be involved in the ultimate decision making process, but you could control the (source of the) information she has in front of her.

Maybe it would help to set aside an evening or weekend afternoon (send the kids outside to play) so that the 2 of you can sit down and go over your options and nail down some details. after all of the planning is done never hurts either!!

 

[gris gris]

I'd like to marry you too My DH just shows up. Leaves everything to me. I should have known it would be this way even when we were planning our wedding. I planned, he arrived on time

One thing we learned in marriage counseling is not to treat the other like a child. I had gotten into the habit of forgetting that my DH was a grown adult and could make decisions on his own. Your wife should figure out a way to stop belittling you, it's disrespectful and disruptive to your relationship. I had to learn that from our therapist. Good luck to you and have a great trip.

 

[deejohn]

Dude,
I feel your pain. My DW doesn't do any planning for our vacations. I spend hours doing research and shooting ideas at her.

One thing we do as a family is sit down for dinner at least 4 times a week. If there is nothing to talk about, I'll give a "vacation update". WDW is a great talking point for everyone.

You could also talk to her about your prior trip. Talk about what you both liked/did not like that could help mix both of your ideas. Allow you to share the planning in a way.

I'm sorry to hear that she knocks you for helping to plan. Heck, it sounds like there are a lot of women who would welcome that kind of help!!!! If you don't take some of these proposals...send them my way...although I should warn you ladies...I snore.

 

[mm_ja]

Thanks for the support, and all the proposals. If I end up divorced over this I will let you know. If I thought talking about it would help, I would. Unfortunalty my wife takes any kind of notion to talk about something (household budget) as crticism. I truely believe she feels that she knows what is best and cant trust anyone else to do as good a job as her. She has her way things should be done and her way is how she expects everyone should do the same task. I guess I have learned to live with it. I was once told "You can ask me to do something, or you can tell me to do something, but you cant do both" I think that is good advice, but she doesnt beleive it. There have been attempts at speaking with someone, but she feels that if anyone else knew we were seeing a therapist she would be seen as a failure at marriage. So there were conditions imposed. Find someone we can afford that has some sort of childcare so that we dont have to get family to watch the kids, and I (me she doesnt want me leaving work) cant miss work for this. Anyway, things really arent as bad as I make them out to be. I am going to not say anything today, and Tomorrow night maybe just mention something like "So what have you come up with from your reading?" and see if that opens any doors. I guess I can pick my fights and push for following TGM advice for least crowded parks on our trip.

 

[ldo]

Sometimes, you have to suck it up for the sake of the marriage. In this case, I would say, I'm really excited about Disney and am trying to make it as fun as possible for our family--It's great you are excited too and want to plan it---but, it would be fun to plan together---here are A FEW things that I found out", then let her make some plans. If you have something that REALLY important to you, let her know that you really want to see the Lion King show, for ex., so she can work it in.
There are only a few "wrong" things to do at Disney---going late morning at a super crowded time--but that's about it.
Give a few pointers and then let her plan it---it's important to you--but, communication and working thru something together is far more important than any Disney trip.
In planning, one thing to think about character meals--if you go at a crowded time, consider lunch and use the AM to get on rides. However, even at peak times, many families still do a character breakfast, which I would NEVER consider, b/c we like to go commando style thru the park in the AM, then wind down later. So, again, no "Wrong" answer--just different perspcectives.

There is no "wrong" place to stay, or any "Wrong" park to go to---if she reads the 2005 book, she will get the park strategies, etc.
One last REALLY IMPORTANT note--when at Disney, if something is too crowded, goes wrong, etc.---PLEASE resist the "I told you so/if we have used my plan" comments----take your happy shot, even if it isn't what you might have done. The most important thing for your kids is a happy family time.
good luck--ps--I am the obsessive one and my DH (bless his heart), indulges me.

 

[ldo]

I go at peak times, and, even TGM will say that having a plan is MORE important than which park. WE can only go on certain days and it might be the most crowded day. My advice for peace is to GET A PARK HOPPER. THat way, if you have a park that is just too crowded, you can go to another later that day.
My touring plan (from research and reading bookds) consists of going to the park where I want to ride certain rides in the AM each day, riding those rides near each other (sometimes 3X in a row with 5 minute wait--even at Easter), then doing lunch and maybe parade and more "show" things in the afternoon when we are tired and the shows can handle biger crowds-this plan has worked for 5+ years at peak times with very young children.
Also, with a park hopper, you can come back another day, if you had to skip a ride b/c of crowds.

 

[Mdlex]

I feel I needed to vent, or maybe just get it off my chest is a better way to describe what I need. I also need some support from people who understand, maybe been in a similar situation, or have advice. First off I feel I should put out a small disclaimer. I don’t mean to bring anyone down. I don’t know if this is the right place to post this. I know my wife and I have issues. Things are not as bad as they may seem overall, this type if incident is just a sore spot, not only about Disney but other things as well. Ok, so my wife is a Disney fan, but not near as much as I am. We booked a trip to WDW scheduled for next December. We will be there the 15th – 22nd. We chose this week so our 2 DSs will miss a minimum amount of school, we get to see Disney at Christmas, and miss the worst crowds. I am still concerned with crowd levels, and think if we could avoid them that would be great. So, I sign up for TGM, and read everything I can here on the boards to get a feel for what to expect and come up with a plan. Of course I do all this without her knowing, because I would be basically ridiculed for spending time doing something so frivolous, especially when our trip is over 10 months away (back in February). My plan was to gently over the course of time start bringing up ideas and plans the closer we got. Well, step one is ADRs, our 180 day window opens on the 18th of this month (Monday). We had had a few quick chats about what we would like to do about meals. She had even said to me at one time “We need to figure out what date we can start making reservations for meals”. I perked up and said oh I know, I have it written on my calendar. I get a look that just said what a nerd. Anyway for several weeks I had been working out a preliminary itinerary that I felt would work for everyone based on TGM advice and information found here. I came up with a list of restaurants I thought would be a good choice for us and decided this weekend I need to talk with her about it. Again trying to not seem so “loserish” to my wife and let on I had been doing all of this for months, I came up with a small plan. I wrote down all the info from TGM on his least crowded parks advice, hours of operation, and MVMCP party dates. I left this on the desk next to the computer hoping she would see it and ask “Hey, what is all this?” and I would have an opening or I could just say to her “Hey, I know our ADR date is coming up and here is some information I found that I think we can use to help plan things”. Well, I don’t know if she saw my notes or what, but I walked in the door from work yesterday and she is sitting there with a notepad and the Unofficial Guide to Disney. Of course it is the 2005 version I bought and we didn’t use for our last trip. I asked what she was reading and we did talk a little, but the kids wanted to play, and I asked her to please let me be involved in since this was important to me. Basically she could have cared less about any information I had, and said she thought it was too important to me. I got upset, but calmed down and thought we would talk some more later. When I got a chance to look at her notes, it was a bunch of restaurants she had written down and some basic questions like find out operating hours, and dates of MVMCP (stuff I could have answered for her) it should also be noted that she has all of the dining plan information from our 2005 trip she is using as reference material. Anyway, right about the time the kids go to bed, she picks up her book and notes heads to the bedroom, and closes the door. This is not unusual she normally goes to bed very early, but again it just takes away any chance for us to talk. So anyway I am just upset because I see how this is going to end. She is a SAHM so she uses her time during the day to get things done. This is good, but at the same time I never know what is going on. Several times I have asked her to let me be involved with the household budget and paying bills and stuff, but she does all that during the day while I am gone, and when I get home I am constantly with the kids till they got bed, and she normally goes to sleep at the same time. Anyway, I could be wrong, but I have a bad feeling that when I get home this afternoon she will have made plans her way, without letting me be involved. I know in the grand scheme of family and life this is not a terrible thing, at the end we will still go to Disney, we just may end up being in the wrong place at the wrong time with all of the crowds. What bothers me and hurts the most is her belittling me for something I find so fun and interesting. She just totally dumps on me for “wasting my time” with all this. That she has such a lack of respect for me and my interests and basically thinks I have nothing to offer to this (and several other things) vacation planning. My wife is a person who likes to plan, and so am I. For several things we have differing views on how to handle things. I normally let her do things her way so that we don’t get into a big fight, but most things we disagree on are not as important to me as this. Like I said things are not as terrible as I make them out to be, but this is an area that is a sore spot. Sorry for the long post, it feels better just to get this off my chest.

I am not a therapist, but in you thread there seems to be alot of underlying issues here. This is not just about planning your vacation there seems to be no communication. I am married for 11 years and I can't imagine wondering it my DH would "LET" me help plan a vacation. I do all of the planning but that is because he dosen't like to do that stuff. Sometimes I wonder if he thinks I am nuts for planning so far in advance but he would never belittle me. I think you should sit down with her and tell her how you feel. In a marriage there needs to be Communication and Respect! Just my opinion. I hope you can talk things out !!!!

 

[dis-happy]

First, a hug, I know you're trying to have a great vacation for your family! Any chance you could say you want to give her a suprise and make the ADR's? If that doesn't go over well, at least you're both making plans so it's not as if there won't be any adr's when you get there (even if not optimum times in your book).

Second, last year our church ran a very sucessful marriage seminar called "Love and Respect" that came with weekly dvd's. Everyone raved about it (I didn't do it because I was in charge of child care at the time). But the basic premise is that wives need love and husbands need respect from their spouse. It changed a lot of lives and marriages. Maybe it's something you could find and watch together at home.

Third, the next time she hides in the bedroom, how about opening up a bottle of wine and joining her? One thing leads to another.....then when she's totally relaxed ( ) you could say, "by the way, how about Crystal Palace at Thurs. lunch?" I bet you'll get the go ahead for whatever adr you want.

Hope it all works out for you and your family. PS. You're not nerdy at all!!! Just another DIS planner, one of many.....

 

[ldo]

My husband might make "fun" of me and say I'm a little crazy---but he would NEVER belittle me about it--and if he did, I would tell him that he hurt my feelings.
IF the therapist thing does not work out, consider asking her to read a book--"Boundaries in MArriage" is a good one, but I am sure that there are MANY coummunication books out there---some marital communication skills have to be "relearned" and the other spouse has to want to make it work.
Or consider a weekend marriage enrichment seminar---you could take kids to parents, etc. for the weekend and she could tell friends you were "going away"--I have never been, but (happily married) friends have and love them. Do a google search for your area and see what's offered. Or call a couple therapists offices and see if they know of any. Some are church-based (but you don't have to belong to that church), but others are not.

Anyway--even in the best marriage, there is give and take, but you have to have mutual respect and be willing to work on communication.

 

[tink_about_it]

I would make the ADR's and list them. Talk about it AFTER and say you can change anything she would like. You need to have a heart to heart. Sounds like things are HIGH TENSION anyway. I am the planner in our family,but DH lets me. He likes to have a say in how many restuarants...but mainly doesn't care. Tell her that you would really enjoy planning.

 

[NemoMOm]

This may sound dumb, but have you told her how you feel about all of this? Maybe, even printing out your post so she can see how upset she has made you and how you feel about her responses?When I get really upset with DH because he is just not getting it I write it all down. What he said or did and how it made me feel. He is usually really suprised and always apologizes and tries to change next time. Good Luck

P.S. I would also tell her you want to know what is going on in the household, you have that right.

 

[benderbunch]

I do have a suggestion which has worked for us in the past. There was a time my DH and I were not communicating very well. I found a good book at the library (I don't remember the name). It suggested getting a notebook/journal and communicating in writing just like you are doing here. It takes away the emotion and tone in your voice. You should use the word "I" not "you" in your note. "You" is accusing. "I" tells how you feel. Don't forget to ask for a reply from her. It helped us and I use it with my now teenage daughter and it works in tense situations. I hope this helps.

 

[Zoesmama03]

I've been to WDW soo many times I couldn't really count and figure it easily. But it started when I was 10 and we have never had any "plans" about anything other than what time to get there.


Try to relax some and enjoy it. In my opinion planning every second of the day will leave little time to actually sit back and enjoy the trip as fully as possible.

Yes it will be alright if you "miss" something you had planned or if its not at the time you were thinking.


Definitely tell her how you feel. Try to leave more of the days "open" to roam from activity to the next. It really makes it that much more enjoyable to "swing" it in my opinion. Sure plans are great for "dinner" but really what if you get there and supposed to eat and such and such place but you don't really "feel" like having that kind of food at that moment.


Really I've been a member here for long time even before my current registered name and I've seen sooooo many over planners come through. I'm as much a planner as others but definitely leaving plans a little looser is going to be ok. But if you are having opposite ideas of "plans" talk it over find the time somehow if it means going to bed early yourself even if you don't stay in bed.

I'm definitely not the one to give marriage advice when I'm going through a divorce but talk to her REALLY, don't do what I did and let it slide talking and communincating is the way to make things good from what I'm told. IF you can't find the time TELL her you wish to talk to her when she has a moment. Put a Disney movie on for the kids and sit close enough to keep and ear or eye on them while you look things over. Its not gonna harm the kids to not have a parent 24 hours of the day.

 

[VeroBeachGirl]

Maybe we're still in the "honeymoon phase" but my husband thinks it's so cute/funny that I over plan EVERYTHING! He understands that I get really excited about things and thankfully the enthusiasm rubs off on him.
Try explaining to your wife that you are excited that the family gets to go to WDW together and part of the fun would be planning with her.
About the finances, household expenditures, if you do them online, just ask her what the passwords are and say you would like to check them from time to time because it is important for you to know what's going on.

 

[Sir Ron]

I don't think it's fair to say that all women don't know that their husband needs respect. That's a bad generalisation. Now that generalisation perfectly describes my ex-wife though. She brought me down constantly. In 8 years, she never once bought me anything that I would like. She would say that she didn't know what I wanted. Wow.. really? So you haven't picked up that I liked football and Disney in that long of time? She never would plan anything but just expect me to do everything. She'd mock me to my face, behind my back, etc. I once bought her and her sister a 7 day cruise and watched my two daughters for 9 days by myself. Did I mention the youngest was only 2 months old? She never once thanked me. All she did was complain about what went poorly. That was the point where the relationship I knew was doomed. She wasn't fond of being a mother. When I say that, I mean that she didn't want to be their mother. She wanted to be able to show them around and buy cute stuff for them. But when it came to being their mother she couldn't be bothered with thinking the kids need to be home in bed on a school night before 10. She'd rather go shopping. When she went to a family function, she would say "good somebody else can watch the kids". So for years, I took the abuse that I got. But when I realized that she was hurting my daughters, I finally had enough.

I filed for divorce about 2 years ago and the woman seemed shocked. I guess she didn't think that not being a good wife, or being a bad mother wasn't enough.

The reason I bring this all up is that your Disney story sounded very familiar. I would let her do anything she wanted but when I wanted something, it was too expensive or silly. I wanted to do a Keys to the Kingdom Tour and she told me it was dumb to want to do that.

Fast forward to January with my girlfriend. She surprised me with that KTTK tour because she said she knew me and knew that I would love it. I had never mentioned it to her. It seriously choked me up. She is the most caring sweet, SELFLESS (which I've never encountered), and understanding woman I have ever known.

In fact, my daughters told me to marry her for months before I had even popped the question. They even call her mama on their own accord. Now, we're getting married at Walt Disney World because that's what my fiancee thought would be a great idea and I agreed since we both grew up going to the parks and loving them. She also asked my oldest daughter to be a bridesmaid because she wanted her to. She asked my youngest to be a flower girl because she wanted her to. She then proceeded to say the girls should be with us on the family honeymoon because she wanted them to know that she married all of us. I honestly could not be luckier now.

I'm not saying file for divorce. I'm saying if you open up to her and she still doesn't respect you, you guys have more problems than just Disney. Men deserve to be happy too.

Good Luck from a fellow guy who has been there,

Ronnie

 

[mm_ja]

Thanks to everyone for all the advice. I guess like everyone we have our good and bad days. Just seems like lately more bad than good. I know a talk needs to be had, part of the problem is I am pretty sure a talk would devolve very quickly into a fight and me sleeping on the sofa, so I would rather just go with the flow, and keep it to myslef. This planning issues is just the latest example of a bigger issue. I hate any kind of confrontation or argument with her. Again different styles, I will get mad, and lose my temper, apologize and it is over lets move on and be happy. She holds a grudge. I can apologize for something and it still be days before she puts it behind her. Anyway this could really get long and involved. I appreciate everyones advice. I think I will try to take it easy this weekend, and maybe bring up Disney stuff again. We can work on our overall marriage later. The 180 day window is monday.

Trying to maintain a sense of humor.