"It was just a joke! Can't you take a joke?"

[Iforgetmypassword]

Here's my story:

My house was burglarized last month. My laptop, my daughter's xbox 360, her wii, all her video games and more, were stolen. I spent days changing passwords, dealing with insurance company, etc.

I'm careful of any attempts to gather my personal information now.

Last evening, at work, it was very quiet-I work at a call center. I started getting texts from an unknown no., within my area code. It was from someone I didn't know, but knew some things like my daughter's name, etc. My first thought was that it was someone phishing for my info, perhaps to set me up for a second robbery?

I googled the phone no. It was being routed-I guess-to India! Even though it appeared to be a local no.

Then the texts started getting more personal. The person knew so much about me! I started getting scared. From clues he'd gotten from the stolen laptop?

Meanwhile, a co-worker came over to chat. I told him about the texts, and that I'd been robbed and was scared that the person was phishing. Other people told me to call the police, to report it.

The texts started getting more specific. The unknown person knew my description, where I work, etc. I was afraid now. The person who'd stolen my laptop, was using information in it to stalk me!

Finally, the person said that he knew my position at work, even when I took my lunch. That was enough. Only my co-workers would know that! I realized that the co-worker who'd come over to chat, who also takes his lunch the same time, and loves playing practical jokes, was texting me from his cubicle, only 20 feet away, and out of my sight.

I was furious with him. Thank God it was near the end of our shift, and as we were leaving, he said, you knew it was a joke, right? No, I did not! I thought that someone with my laptop was trying to get to me. I was so stunned that someone could do that, knowing I'd been robbed and was vulnerable.

So, today, I have to go to work and see him again. What should I do? File harassment charges?

 

[NaLisa]

Here's my story:

My house was burglarized last month. My laptop, my daughter's xbox 360, her wii, all her video games and more, were stolen. I spent days changing passwords, dealing with insurance company, etc.

I'm careful of any attempts to gather my personal information now.

Last evening, at work, it was very quiet-I work at a call center. I started getting texts from an unknown no., within my area code. It was from someone I didn't know, but knew some things like my daughter's name, etc. My first thought was that it was someone phishing for my info, perhaps to set me up for a second robbery?

I googled the phone no. It was being routed-I guess-to India! Even though it appeared to be a local no.

Then the texts started getting more personal. The person knew so much about me! I started getting scared. From clues he'd gotten from the stolen laptop?

Meanwhile, a co-worker came over to chat. I told him about the texts, and that I'd been robbed and was scared that the person was phishing. Other people told me to call the police, to report it.

The texts started getting more specific. The unknown person knew my description, where I work, etc. I was afraid now. The person who'd stolen my laptop, was using information in it to stalk me!

Finally, the person said that he knew my position at work, even when I took my lunch. That was enough. Only my co-workers would know that! I realized that the co-worker who'd come over to chat, who also takes his lunch the same time, and loves playing practical jokes, was texting me from his cubicle, only 20 feet away, and out of my sight.

I was furious with him. Thank God it was near the end of our shift, and as we were leaving, he said, you knew it was a joke, right? No, I did not! I thought that someone with my laptop was trying to get to me. I was so stunned that someone could do that, knowing I'd been robbed and was vulnerable.

So, today, I have to go to work and see him again. What should I do? File harassment charges?

That's awful. I'm all for a good practical joke with my family, but that was over the top and very inappropriate for a co-worker.

I would report the incident to human resources and let them deal with it. I do not think legal charges are warranted.

 

[lynxstch]

That was awful! I would be reporting it to HR first thing!

 

[sam_gordon]

Do you have repeated problems with this coworker or a generally good relationship? If the latter, I'd simply let him know how much the texts bothered you. And then let it drop. If he repeats, THEN go to HR. I would assume he was just trying to prank you, but did so in very poor taste.

However, if the former, yes, I'd have a conversation with him about how you didn't appreciate the "joke", AND submit (at least) an email to HR.

 

[Iforgetmypassword]

I DID have a good relationship with this guy. He's almost 20 years younger than me. I knew he was a "joker", who likes pulling phone pranks.

I was worried enough last night that I posted on Facebook, asking for advice. My friends, including other co-workers, posted that I should call the police. After I busted him, I posted that I knew it was him. I didn't mention his name, but my co-workers knew immediately who I meant, because of his reputation. So, now at least 3 co-workers know it was him.

That reminds me: time to go unfriend him.

 

[design_mom]

Do you have repeated problems with this coworker or a generally good relationship? If the latter, I'd simply let him know how much the texts bothered you. And then let it drop. If he repeats, THEN go to HR. I would assume he was just trying to prank you, but did so in very poor taste.

However, if the former, yes, I'd have a conversation with him about how you didn't appreciate the "joke", AND submit (at least) an email to HR.

I agree with Sam. I think what your co-worker did was very inappropriate, especially once he realized you were getting upset by it and still continued.

However, if I had a good relationship with him up until that point, I would probably save the texts (to document the incident) and tell him in no uncertain terms that I never want to be the recipient of one of his "pranks" ever again. At that point, I'd probably let it drop (but save the texts, just in case.) If it ever happened again, I'd go to HR with both incidents.

ETA: If you really think this could turn into "harassment," you might consider putting your request to stop with the pranks in writing. If I recall, in the case of harassment, I think there is an onus on the 'victim' to tell the harasser that his behavior is unwelcome. That is, inappropriate behavior does not count as harassment unless the victim has told the harasser to stop and he/she refuses. If it's in writing, it would be harder for him to later say "I didn't know she was that upset by it."

 

[Iforgetmypassword]

What upset me so much, was that HE KNEW I'D BEEN BURGLARIZED. He continued to taunt me with little facts about me.

If I hadn't figured out that it was him, I would have sent all the texts to the police, as a follow-up to the burglary. Three houses on my street were robbed within a few days. The police want us to report anything suspicious. Until I realized who it was, I thought this was someone with my stolen laptop.

He could be facing a policeman today, asking him if he knows anything about the robberies.

 

[Poohforyou]

I DID have a good relationship with this guy. He's almost 20 years younger than me. I knew he was a "joker", who likes pulling phone pranks.

I was worried enough last night that I posted on Facebook, asking for advice. My friends, including other co-workers, posted that I should call the police. After I busted him, I posted that I knew it was him. I didn't mention his name, but my co-workers knew immediately who I meant, because of his reputation. So, now at least 3 co-workers know it was him.

That reminds me: time to go unfriend him.

Wait, you thought someone was stalking you using information from a stolen laptop and you post on social media asking what to do? Sorry, not the brightest thing to do.

It depends on what you want the outcome to be as to what you should do. It you want him officially reprimanded I'd report him to HR. If you just want to let him know it wasn't cool I'd lay into him.

 

[Iforgetmypassword]

Wait, you thought someone was stalking you using information from a stolen laptop and you post on social media asking what to do? Sorry, not the brightest thing to do.

It depends on what you want the outcome to be as to what you should do. It you want him officially reprimanded I'd report him to HR. If you just want to let him know it wasn't cool I'd lay into him.

I'd changed my Facebook password, probably 5 times since the robbery. The person who has my laptop can't read any of my Facebook posts.

And yes, I wanted advice. And, of course my Facebook is set to private. Only my friends can see my info. He's not my friend any more.

 

[msjprincess]

It was a dumb thing to do, but no I would not file harassment charges. If I previously had a good relationship with the person I wouldn't contact HR or anything. I would just talk to the co-worker. But that's me.

I may be mistaken but I would think it would have to be more than a one time thing to even be considered harassment.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

I'd changed my Facebook password, probably 5 times since the robbery. The person who has my laptop can't read any of my Facebook posts.

And yes, I wanted advice. And, of course my Facebook is set to private. Only my friends can see my info. He's not my friend any more.

How many "friends" do you have on Facebook? Hundreds? Eighty? It wouldn't be the first time someone's "friend" did something unsavory. I think the PP is saying that unless you're like my MIL (7 friends, all family) you shouldn't post specific info like that. I had a friend ask the dates of my upcoming cruise and when I posted the answer, my SIL messaged me and asked me to delete the post because of recent robberies on her street, as she is going with us. I did so happily. I don't worry about my house because we will have house sitters, but she won't and I didn't think about that info being out there.

 

[Jennasis]

Is there a chance HE is the one who burglarized your home? Stranger things have happened. You should tell him "Oh MAN, that wasn't smart. I was so freaked out about the texts, what with the burglary and all that I sent everything to the detective handling the case...so you'll probably be getting a call/visit from him."

Turn the tables.

 

[Iforgetmypassword]

I have about 50 Facebook friends. And, where else can I turn to for advice? I posted this, here, because I did NOT want to ask my Facebook friends what to do, after I knew it was him.

They all said the same thing: call the police. Then they wanted to know if I had called them. I hadn't, because I knew by then that it was a co-worker, "joking". So, then I explained why I hadn't. Only a few Facebook friends are also co-workers.

 

[HM]

I would ream him a good one. What a jerk. There was NOTHING funny about that situation.

 

[sam_gordon]

Is there a chance HE is the one who burglarized your home? Stranger things have happened. You should tell him "Oh MAN, that wasn't smart. I was so freaked out about the texts, what with the burglary and all that I sent everything to the detective handling the case...so you'll probably be getting a call/visit from him."

Turn the tables.

Now THAT is a good way to handle this.

 

[DawnM]

He was a young kid doing a dumb thing. I would make a big deal about it to HIM and see if he offers an apology. Tell him it is unprofessional and inappropriate. I would also mention that he could get in a heck of a lot of trouble if he does this again.

If he does apologize, I would take it. Hopefully he will learn.

DH's secretary (she is the secretary for the that whole group) did something really dumb last month. She started texting my DH pictures of body parts. Nothing sexual, just of a thumb, a knee cap, etc.....they weren't even HER body parts. Then she started saying weird things about how she knew where he worked.

Problem was, DH's imessage account and mine crossed over and I got the messages too. I texted back that I was calling the police, that my husband worked for the police department, etc .......

I called DH and he went STRAIGHT to her desk and told her to cut it out. He knew it had to be her. And it was. She is 45.

Dawn

 

[Shelly888]

Way over the line and totally inappropriate!

 

[Mandychelle79]

While not cool on his part, Id probably just have reamed him a new one and then went on with life.

 

[EMom]

He crossed the line from a practical joke to terrorizing you. I'd report it to HR. You'd be doing everyone at work a big favor. He needs to get the message NOW, at this stage of his life, that all "practical jokes" are not funny and that he must use more common sense. If he doesn't HAVE any common sense, and it seems he does not, a chat with HR will likely sober him up and teach him to contain his "humor'. Seriously, he must get the message that this should NEVER happen again with you or anyone else. Otherwise, he's probably going to do something just as despicable again.

 

[SarahWeasley]

He was a young kid doing a dumb thing. I would make a big deal about it to HIM and see if he offers an apology. Tell him it is unprofessional and inappropriate. I would also mention that he could get in a heck of a lot of trouble if he does this again.

If he does apologize, I would take it. Hopefully he will learn.

Yes, I agree with this. It sounds like you have no reason to believe that he did it out of malice; it was just an incredibly thoughtless prank. Tell him how angry you are and hopefully he'll apologize. If he doesn't (or if he does, but it's not good enough for you), you're free to cut him off as a friend, but I wouldn't bring in HR unless there are further problems in the future.