Isn't anyone else's spouse a jerk sometimes?

[superdiz]

Blah I'm sure the people on LPBW are fine, all couples fight every now and then.

I don't think my husband is a jerk. He has his annoying moments. He is so lucky that I don't have any of those...

Seriously if you never have disagreements, to me that means you don't really care enough about anything. I'd rather have an occasional moment of heated discussion than a life full of vanilla and "yes dear".

 

[dzorn]

Nope mines a sweetie has been for over 25 years. Sometimes irritating but never a jerk.

Denise in MI

 

[disykat]

One of my favorite sayings:

Just remember, behind every wonderful, successful man...

...is a woman who is sick of his cr@p!

LOL!

I can only speak for about my spouse and he has NEVER been a jerk. Sorry that you don't want to believe it. I would have never married a man who acted like a jerk to me when we were dating.

I think some people have a narrower definition of jerk here (I just picked one post of the many who aren't married to "jerks!")than I do. I also would never have married someone who was jerky to ME! Some people here seem to almost be equating jerk with abuser. The jerky stuff I'm talking about are mostly opinions about things that differ so greatly from mine sometimes that if they were coming from anyone else I would think "what a jerk."

I'm sure it's very peaceful if you never think your spouse is a jerk and I often wish I knew what that was like! (And as I've said before, I'm sure dh does too) But the fact that dh and I are not always on the same page, or even in the same book, on everything hasn't doomed us.

 

[Jennasis]

I WAS married to a jerk, but I divorced him. No way would I stand for living with anyone who would EVER treat me badly or bean mean/rude.

My current DH is a saint.

 

[MiniGirl]

I think some people have a narrower definition of jerk here (I just picked one post of the many who aren't married to "jerks!")than I do. I also would never have married someone who was jerky to ME! Some people here seem to almost be equating jerk with abuser. The jerky stuff I'm talking about are mostly opinions about things that differ so greatly from mine sometimes that if they were coming from anyone else I would think "what a jerk."

I'm sure it's very peaceful if you never think your spouse is a jerk and I often wish I knew what that was like! (And as I've said before, I'm sure dh does too) But the fact that dh and I are not always on the same page, or even in the same book, on everything hasn't doomed us.

I was thinking the same thing about the definition of "jerk." When I think "What a jerk," I think of someone who is treating someone else disrespectfully. I don't equate it with abuse though. Just a general "my wants and my needs come before anyone else's wants and needs." With that in mind, I can say that I did not marry a jerk, and I really don't even remember any "jerky" moments on my dh's part either. (We celebrate our 15th anniversary this summer. Together almost 20.) We disagree and argue occassionally. During those moments, I sometimes think "moron" or something like that, but never jerk. LOL!!!

Me, on the other hand, yeah...... I've gotten jerkier with age. Since it comes in cycles, I'm calling it PMDD.

 

[wvjules]

Odd, "jerk" is one of those words that sounds strange when said too many times.

 

[disykat]

When I think "What a jerk," I think of someone who is treating someone else disrespectfully. I don't equate it with abuse though. Just a general "my wants and my needs come before anyone else's wants and needs." QUOTE]

No wonder - that's not my definition at all. I define jerk VERY differently - more along the lines of thinking their opinions are misguided when they are behaving like a jerk. They have temporarily veered off what I consider the "norm."

 

[MiniGirl]

No wonder - that's not my definition at all. I define jerk VERY differently - more along the lines of thinking their opinions are misguided when they are behaving like a jerk. They have temporarily veered off what I consider the "norm."

That's funny how differently we use the same word, but it helps me understand some of the comments a bit better. Also, using that definition, then yes, dh is a jerk sometimes.

 

[Jennasis]

I interpret a jerk as someone who does something with complete disregard for others when they know others would react badly, being mean, or taking anger frustration out on others.

For example,

Spraying me with the hose while I am gardening.
Loosening the cap on the salt shaker.
Rubbing in the fact that I was wrong/lost at something/did something wrong.
Standing over me while I'm doing something and pointing out how I could do it better.
Buying himself a soda/ice cream etc and not asking if I'd like one too.
Coming home from work and giving me crud about not having XYZ done.

To name a few.

 

[disykat]

While it's not a complimentary term, I just looked it up in three dictionaries and can't find anything that insinuates downright nastiness.

 

[krcit]

While it's not a complimentary term, I just looked it up in three dictionaries and can't find anything that insinuates downright nastiness.

Yes I posted about everyone being a jerk sometimes b/c my definition of a jerk is much more varied. Like if DH was telling a stupid joke at a party I would laugh and say "You're such a jerk." Or if he ate the last of soemthing I wanted. I wasn't talking about downright nastiness. Of course I believe that some people(dare I say most) aren't ever nasty/mean. I was going with the more playful expression. I'm from NY. We have other words for nasty, mean people

 

[wdwfan16]

While it's not a complimentary term, I just looked it up in three dictionaries and can't find anything that insinuates downright nastiness.

Here is one for you:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jerk

4 a : an annoyingly stupid or foolish person b : an unlikable person; especially : one who is cruel, rude, or small-minded


DH is none of the above.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm not married to a "jerk"--but we do have disagreements and arguing does occur.

The problem that I see on LPBW is that Matt does things regardless of the outcome of their disagreement. I find him to be quite manipulative. That is beyond being a jerk. He's quite disrespectful to Amy. Some my say that she too is disrespectful in the way she treats him. But what I see is a frustrated spouse.

If someone I knew were what I considered a "jerk"--I wouldn't be hanging around them very much. I don't think Amy considers Matt to be a jerk.

 

[disykat]

Here is one for you:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jerk

4 a : an annoyingly stupid or foolish person b : an unlikable person; especially : one who is cruel, rude, or small-minded


DH is none of the above.

Thanks for posting that. It helps me understand where people are getting that definition because it's certainly different than my American Heritage and Random House dictionaries as well as dictionary.com!