Isn't Anyone Allowed to Complain / Vent / Be Annoyed Anymore

What I hate is when I give my opinion about something and then I have someone who will disagree and then tell me my opinion is wrong. I wasn't under the impression that a opinion could be wrong?

This is the thing that often baffles me. Facts can be wrong, opinions can be neither right nor wrong, they are opinions. Two opinions can differ but that doesn't make yours right and mine wrong, it just makes them different.

People just need thicker skin when you are posting on a topic that will have heated opinions on both sides. Many of the threads are a slightly different re-hashing of a previous thread of threads. If that thread on a similar topic turned into a flame battle yours will too. Be prepared or don't don't start it.
 
I stand firmly by the motto: Say what you mean, mean what you say.



I think tone is hard to read over the internet, which is why things should be spelled out better. Many people come off sanctimonious in their tone when they say "YOU should have". It's pretty much waggin' your finger at someone. Most everyone here is an adult. No need for finger wagging.

I'm very thick-skinned, very opinionated, and can be quite crass. :laughing: I actually have to reign it in on this board. I just find that there is a certain way to say things to get your point across when it comes to the internet. I certainly expect opinions because lord knows I'm about to hand mine off. :hippie:
 
Or when I vent about my parents, I get a lot of "be thankful your parents are still alive" comments. Does that mean that any of you who have lost parents were never annoyed at them?

While I might say Be thankful your parents are still alive, I would mean it in a way to remind you to cherish the time you have - even the annoying PITA times.
My mom died 1 week before I turned 23 - the day before Thanksgiving. My dad died 6 months later.

I have spent a good portion of my adult life wishing I had respected my parents more, listened to them better, talked back less and told them I loved them more often. (you know - all the stuff the average teen doesn't do LOL)
Now that I have a child, I find myself wishing so many times that I had my mom to talk to about him - whether it's boasting about his latest accomplishments or asking for help when he annoys me.

So, it's not minimizing your problem - it's just a way to say, take a step back and realize you are blessed to still have them in your life - regardless of how stinking annoying they are! ;)
 
OP, I agree. Thinking about someone else's problem doesn't change ours. So people's belitting comments are really annoying.
 

Well, see, here's the crux of the matter. IMO, failure to pump pixie dust does not equal being disrespectful. Every person has his/her own interpretation of "polite" and "disrespectful." For some people (not necessarily you; I mean this in a general sense), anything short of agreement and hugs and all that means you are slamming or flaming them.

I feel that when you post something on a public message board, you had better have thick enough skin to be able to handle opinions that are contrary or may even feel hostile. If you can't, don't post it.

I don't know why--but that is having me laughing hysterically. FTPPD alert.:lmao::lmao::lmao:




However "failure to pump pixie dust" is totally different from, "let me show you how much of an idiot you are" type posts.

Not everyone has to agree--it is fine to disagree. I just don't feel someone has to be a butt about it.
 
While I might say Be thankful your parents are still alive, I would mean it in a way to remind you to cherish the time you have - even the annoying PITA times.
My mom died 1 week before I turned 23 - the day before Thanksgiving. My dad died 6 months later.

I have spent a good portion of my adult life wishing I had respected my parents more, listened to them better, talked back less and told them I loved them more often. (you know - all the stuff the average teen doesn't do LOL)
Now that I have a child, I find myself wishing so many times that I had my mom to talk to about him - whether it's boasting about his latest accomplishments or asking for help when he annoys me.

So, it's not minimizing your problem - it's just a way to say, take a step back and realize you are blessed to still have them in your life - regardless of how stinking annoying they are! ;)

I'm sorry for your loss.

However there are folks with issues so troubling that they'd rather not have the parent in their life and their not all about love and happiness. Sometimes I feel that when someone (especially someone I know personally) says that, it is like they expect me to foster the relationship they can no longer have. (I no longer have my parent--so you owe it to me to be nice and appreciate yours.)

It may not be what they intended, but depending on the person saying the comment, it can come across that way.
 
For me personally, I'm OK with a disagreement. I'm also OK with someone personally attacking another person if they felt it necessary because there are time that people are just simply asking for it.

The thing that makes me mad is when, and this is what I know OP and others are talking about, someone vents, complains or states annoyance about something that is a misfortune some people have to reply by saying "well at least it's not...," "it could be worse...," "I am in a worse situation...," etc. DUH! If I lost my job, can't pay rent, live out of a car and have to eat very sparingly... it sucks but there's always someone that has it worse than you. You should be allowed to come on here and say "I'm so mad I got a B on my paper" WITHOUT people coming up and saying "well at least it's not a C".

Why can't people just say life sucks? No matter what the degree of sucking it is to you, it's something bad to that person, it's something they were coming here for support.

:hippie: :love: ::MickeyMo
 
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Something that I've seen in a lot of threads recently is that the OP is upset about something, and people will turn it into a "be thankful, I'm worse off argument."

Today I was reading a thread about someone having to work on Chirstmas, and people are commenting, "at least you have a job." So the OP isn't allowed to be a little annoyed, because other's don't have jobs?

Or when I vent about my parents, I get a lot of "be thankful your parents are still alive" comments. Does that mean that any of you who have lost parents were never annoyed at them?

I just don't get the point of posting comments like that.

I agree with you to a point.

I do think if a poster constantly "vents" then people may say things (especially if the poster is given advice but refuses to listen and then complains about a similar issue later).

Case in point: A poster has roommates that constantly annoy her. They steal food, they do illegal things, etc. The poster vents the first time. People sympathize and yes, some people offer advice. The poster either has some excuse or ignores the suggestions. A while later, the same poster vents about the same people. Same thing happens; some sympathize, some offer suggestions. Eventually, after many vents, people get annoyed.

Of course, the people that say you should be thankful you have parents or whatever) are perhaps trying to get you (the general you) to look on the bright side. Yes, things annoy you, but it could always be worse.
 
I do think if a poster constantly "vents" then people may say things (especially if the poster is given advice but refuses to listen and then complains about a similar issue later).

Case in point: A poster has roommates that constantly annoy her. They steal food, they do illegal things, etc. The poster vents the first time. People sympathize and yes, some people offer advice. The poster either has some excuse or ignores the suggestions. A while later, the same poster vents about the same people. Same thing happens; some sympathize, some offer suggestions. Eventually, after many vents, people get annoyed.

Of course, the people that say you should be thankful you have parents or whatever) are perhaps trying to get you (the general you) to look on the bright side. Yes, things annoy you, but it could always be worse.

But what if a poster wanted to vent, just for the sake of venting, about a specific issue that he/she might be having with his/her roommates? Perhaps he/she wouldn't include all the details about his/her relationship with the roommates. To protect their privacy or keep things from getting too complicated or whatever, he/she might leave out a lot.

Is it fair then for some posters to agree somehow that this poster is no longer allowed any "vents" because it appears their advice wasn't taken? Even though the advice given was not based on all the facts because I said in the previous paragraph, details are left out for good reason sometimes.

FWIW, I don't think that anyone should follow all the advice they get on-line as if nothing else exists. And anyhow, with all the different viewpoints one might encounter on any given thread, how is one poster supposed to ascertain what the majority of posters are advising and then follow that advice?

It seems very unreasonable to demand that someone never vent unless they take all the advice they get, or that they can only vent if no one on Earth has it worse than they do. As was said several times earlier in this thread, someone will always have it worse. Someone else will always have it better too. ;)
 
It seems very unreasonable to demand that someone never vent unless they take all the advice they get, or that they can only vent if no one on Earth has it worse than they do. As was said several times earlier in this thread, someone will always have it worse. Someone else will always have it better too. ;)

As was also said several times earlier on this thread, the internet (in general) is a public message board. I find it unreasonable to post anything and expect everyone to agree/support at all times. Doesn't happen in real life, why should it happen here?
 
OP I agree with you. Sometimes you just need to vent. Things don't seem fair, you had a bad day, you want to talk about it.

Now everyone doesn't have to agree with you or say....but I think we can at least be empathetic.

I posted in the Christmas thread and I don't see why the OP needed to be attacked. If the people who don't have jobs are upset, then post a vent thread about not having a job for the holidays.
 
Is it fair then for some posters to agree somehow that this poster is no longer allowed any "vents" because it appears their advice wasn't taken? Even though the advice given was not based on all the facts because I said in the previous paragraph, details are left out for good reason sometimes.

FWIW, I don't think that anyone should follow all the advice they get on-line as if nothing else exists. And anyhow, with all the different viewpoints one might encounter on any given thread, how is one poster supposed to ascertain what the majority of posters are advising and then follow that advice?

It seems very unreasonable to demand that someone never vent unless they take all the advice they get, or that they can only vent if no one on Earth has it worse than they do. As was said several times earlier in this thread, someone will always have it worse. Someone else will always have it better too. ;)

I responded earlier in the thread that I hate the dismissive and belittling posts, and I really do. However, for me, there's a big difference between those and the example in LoveDisney!!!'s post. I still don't think that responses like "Tons of people have it worse so get over it" or "Well my roommate tried to kill me so you should be happy yours just stole your stuff" are helpful or appropriate.

In LoveDisney!!!'s example, the poster knows that the behavior she's upset about has happened before and it is entirely possible that it will happen again and she chooses to stay in the situation anyway. She's decided that the reasons for staying outweigh the reasons for leaving. And that's her perogative, of course. But it does get frustrating to see someone make the same decision over and over, and then complain about the results of that decision over and over. It's hard to sympathise with someone who has the power to help herself but chooses not to. In a case like that, I understand why people point out how easily the poster could avoid having to deal with the problem in the future.

In another example, there was a post recently by someone whose family was in a bad situation and I felt so badly for her that I was actually wondering how I could help her. But after someone posted additional information, it turned out that she knew that something she was considering doing was likely to cause her to end up in that situation, and she chose to do it anyway. She gambled and it turned out badly for her. Hopefully years from now she'll look back and feel she made the right decision. But for right now she's not happy with the position she put herself in. When she posted, her post made it seem as though this situation just randomly happened to her. When a poster pointed out that it didn't just randomly happen, that the OP took a calculated risk knowing that this was one of the possible outcomes, she was accused of not being supportive. And maybe it wasn't the most supportive post, but I don't think it was wrong to remind the OP that she had a hand in causing her current woes. I think sometimes people forget that they have control of their own lives. They get upset about things that they could have avoided, and I think in the long run it's good to be reminded about that control so that they can take more control of their future. They don't have to let these terrible things happen to them. They can do things to avoid these upsetting situations. So while I still don't think anyone ought to tell the poster that she has no right to be upset (because of course she does, anyone would be upset in that situation) I do think it's fine for another poster to remind her that she did have some control over the situation. If she truly believes that this situation just randomly happened to her through no fault of her own, she's more likely to end up in the same situation again someday. If someone can get her to believe that her actions led to the situation, maybe she will decide to take action to avoid those situations in the future.

I've seen this sort of thing often on many boards, and it amazes me how many times people really don't seem to see that they could easily avoid the things that are upsetting them so much!
 
I agree with you to a point.

I do think if a poster constantly "vents" then people may say things (especially if the poster is given advice but refuses to listen and then complains about a similar issue later).

Case in point: A poster has roommates that constantly annoy her. They steal food, they do illegal things, etc. The poster vents the first time. People sympathize and yes, some people offer advice. The poster either has some excuse or ignores the suggestions. A while later, the same poster vents about the same people. Same thing happens; some sympathize, some offer suggestions. Eventually, after many vents, people get annoyed.

Of course, the people that say you should be thankful you have parents or whatever) are perhaps trying to get you (the general you) to look on the bright side. Yes, things annoy you, but it could always be worse.
I feel though, that when someone vents, and just wants to vent, and does not ask for advice, and will even say they are just venting and not looking for advice, that posters shouldn't get annoyed when the OP doesn't listen to advice.

And if the same people post the same kind of things over and over again, and people do get annoyed reading them, then people could just very easily skip over those threads.
 
:thumbsup2 Boy, do I agree with you. I especially dislike it when you give your opinion, and someone confuses it with facts, and tells you you have the facts wrong. First, it's an opinion, second it's just their opinion, you have the facts wrong :lmao:

What I hate is when I give my opinion about something and then I have someone who will disagree and then tell me my opinion is wrong. I wasn't under the impression that a opinion could be wrong?
 
I feel though, that when someone vents, and just wants to vent, and does not ask for advice, and will even say they are just venting and not looking for advice, that posters shouldn't get annoyed when the OP doesn't listen to advice.

And if the same people post the same kind of things over and over again, and people do get annoyed reading them, then people could just very easily skip over those threads.

I will add that if people don't want to hear others say "Well, it could be worse..." or give advice, then those posts could be skipped as well. :)

Of course it is OK to vent (I don't mind people venting at all), but since there are other people here, one must assume that not everyone will have the same feelings.
 
I think dynamics in a community forum can be hard sometimes. In one way it's very personal, people feel they can say things here that they wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable saying even to a close friend in person. On the other hand it's very impersonal. It's hard to get a sense about someone from black and white words.

For instance, while I know there are people who are belittling, others may genuinely be trying to help the venter see the silver lining in a bad situation. Also, I know there have been times when my venting or response to venters has been too heavy handed, just like I'm not perfect in life I'm also not perfect on the Disboards :). I don't think I'm a mean person, but I do get passionate about things and sometimes that goes too far and I could totally understand someone thinking I'm mean when that's not my intention.

I'm part of a few different forums and I have to say that things do spiral out of control here pretty quickly. I think it's because this forum casts a large and broad net, whereas a lot of other forums are a lot more niched down to where most of the members think a lot a like and/or are the same personality types. The Disney bug doesn't discriminate :) so I think this could very well be one of the most diverse forums on the internet.

I would have to say I don't think people intend to be mean (or at least I like to think that, we are on a forum where a lot of people, myself included, believe in pixie dust afterall :)) and I would guess that some posts that are taken to be mean may very well have been taken in a completely different way than they were intended. Venting on a public forum also opens up the OP to public scrutiny and that's just the way it is, right or wrong.
 














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