Isn't Anyone Allowed to Complain / Vent / Be Annoyed Anymore

[JerseyJanice]

I'm sorry about your loss, too, Linda. Condolences.

I hope you and your little girl have a wonderful trip, Greenlea. Sorry about the loss of your Mom, too.

To the OP, I agree that it sometimes seems like you're walking on a land mine when you post a vent. No matter what the vent is, someone will always have worse problems, that's a fact of life, but having somebody actually say it doesn't help anyone.

 

[eliza61]

Something that I've seen in a lot of threads recently is that the OP is upset about something, and people will turn it into a "be thankful, I'm worse off argument."

Today I was reading a thread about someone having to work on Chirstmas, and people are commenting, "at least you have a job." So the OP isn't allowed to be a little annoyed, because other's don't have jobs?

Or when I vent about my parents, I get a lot of "be thankful your parents are still alive" comments. Does that mean that any of you who have lost parents were never annoyed at them?

I just don't get the point of posting comments like that.

You have to remember that people post from their experiences.
Remember this is an usual time in this country. A lot of people are unemployed so it's natural that they would remind the op of that especially if they are struggling.

Some time posting comments like the above bolded can talk you down from your vent.

All and all these boards have always leaned toward the "sunshiney-Happy place" view.
Do me a favor go on the restaurant thread and post that you thought Le Cellier was overrated. Duck and cover. I did that once (I still think Le Cellier is way overrated ) and you would have thought I short sheeted the Pope.

 

[C.Ann]

and you would have thought I short sheeted the Pope.

 

[BelleWDW]

To throw old posts about different subjects back at them? I would think that would fall under the category of 'off topic'.

Sometimes it seems that the same people antagonize the same people over and over again.

I'm thinking of the ones who are filing bankrupcy and then 3 months later going on a cruise. or other similar stories

 

[clovergirl5]

to all who are having difficult times with anything in their lives. I have been there and I want to send huge hugs to anyone who needs them for whatever reason...tis the season

 

[just4today]

It's fine for people to vent as long as they understand this is a public forum where others might - probably will - disagree. What I want to vent about is that people get offended and start crying because somebody disagreed with them. It's a discussion board, meaning people discuss things. Just because somebody doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they are attacking, slamming, or flaming you.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Well for the 2nd day in a row on a THIRD thread that I was involved in, I am getting postive reinforcement that if disagree with someone that the use of this guy:



And being made fun of are still things that some adults consider okay.

And I'm immature?

And my favorite--a homonym typo and suddenly my credibility is lacking. Alrighty then.

I've discovered that some folks on this board, aren't as--mature as I thought they were or they claim to be.

 

[clovergirl5]

It's fine for people to vent as long as they understand this is a public forum where others might - probably will - disagree. What I want to vent about is that people get offended and start crying because somebody disagreed with them. It's a discussion board, meaning people discuss things. Just because somebody doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they are attacking, slamming, or flaming you.

When the words "you should have", "you shouldn't have" are used...that is attacking in my opinion. Been on the receiving end of that and it wasn't just a discussion anymore. It turned into personal attacks. There is a polite way to disagree and there is a way that comes across as attacking or flaming. Its hard for some people to think that there is a real person on the other side of the screen with real feelings. Just because you are typing in cyberworld doesn't mean the manners, respectfullness and compassion should go away.

 

[just4today]

When the words "you should have", "you shouldn't have" are used...that is attacking in my opinion. Been on the receiving end of that and it wasn't just a discussion anymore. It turned into personal attacks. There is a polite way to disagree and there is a way that comes across as attacking or flaming. Its hard for some people to think that there is a real person on the other side of the screen with real feelings. Just because you are typing in cyberworld doesn't mean the manners, respectfullness and compassion should go away.

Well... I disagree. Here's the difference, imo -

Disagreement: OP, you should have taken your DD out of the store immediately.

Personal attack: OP, you're an idiot for not taking your DD out of the store immediately.

 

[Planogirl]

Well for the 2nd day in a row on a THIRD thread that I was involved in, I am getting postive reinforcement that if disagree with someone that the use of this guy:



And being made fun of are still things that some adults consider okay.

And I'm immature?

And my favorite--a homonym typo and suddenly my credibility is lacking. Alrighty then.

I've discovered that some folks on this board, aren't as--mature as I thought they were or they claim to be.

The typo thing really puzzles me. This isn't a professional or classroom setting so I don't see why a typo or even several matter. I can see that if the post is hard to read then asking for clarification is right but can't that be done in a respectful way?

 

[clovergirl5]

Well... I disagree. Here's the difference, imo -

Disagreement: OP, you should have taken your DD out of the store immediately.

Personal attack: OP, you're an idiot for not taking your DD out of the store immediately.

Did you flame me in my (dare I say it) Walmart thread?

 

[just4today]

Did you flame me in my (dare I say it) Walmart thread?

I disagreed with you, so I suppose, in your opinion, that means I did.

 

[clovergirl5]

I disagreed with you, so I suppose, in your opinion, that means I did.

Did you disagree politely or bluntley in a disrespectful way?

 

[Bluestars]

I think that if you vent on a message board, then you should know that other people will make comments. Some of the comments you will agree with, and some you might not. If you want to vent without getting opinions from random people, it might be better to vent on a blog or to personal friends who will listen and either agree or not give you their honest opinion.

 

[ogreenlee]

Well... I disagree. Here's the difference, imo -

Disagreement: OP, you should have taken your DD out of the store immediately.

Personal attack: OP, you're an idiot for not taking your DD out of the store immediately.

Isn't that the same as Monday Morning Quarterback?
Easy for you to say since you weren't there, right?
Maybe it'd be better if you said, "I would have taken my DD out of the store."

love,
Shoulda Coulda Woulda

 

[just4today]

Did you disagree politely or bluntley in a disrespectful way?

Well, see, here's the crux of the matter. IMO, failure to pump pixie dust does not equal being disrespectful. Every person has his/her own interpretation of "polite" and "disrespectful." For some people (not necessarily you; I mean this in a general sense), anything short of agreement and hugs and all that means you are slamming or flaming them.

I feel that when you post something on a public message board, you had better have thick enough skin to be able to handle opinions that are contrary or may even feel hostile. If you can't, don't post it.

 

[clovergirl5]

Mmmmm, these gingerbread cookies are sooo good. On with no worries. Its so nice to be cheery rather than dreary

 

[happygirl]

What I hate is when I give my opinion about something and then I have someone who will disagree and then tell me my opinion is wrong. I wasn't under the impression that a opinion could be wrong?

 

[clovergirl5]

Isn't that the same as Monday Morning Quarterback?
Easy for you to say since you weren't there, right?
Maybe it'd be better if you said, "I would have taken my DD out of the store."

love,
Shoulda Coulda Woulda

It absolutely makes it not a personal attack when you put yourself in the situation by saying "I woulda..", NOT "YOU should of".

Love shoulda, coulda, woulda--didn't I say that once ogreenlee?

 

[just4today]

It absolutely makes it not a personal attack when you put yourself in the situation by saying "I woulda..", NOT "YOU should of".

Love shoulda, coulda, woulda--didn't I say that once ogreenlee?

It's semantics. Obviously, my saying "You should have...." means the same thing as saying "This is my opinion, therefore I would have done it this way." In the first case, the "I think...." part of it is understood given that this is a discussion board and every response to that type of thread is, inherently, an opinion.

The person reading can choose to be offended or not. Seems like many times the OP chooses to be offended rather than just blowing it off because it has no affect on his/her real life.