Isn't Anyone Allowed to Complain / Vent / Be Annoyed Anymore

[disneyfav4ever]

Something that I've seen in a lot of threads recently is that the OP is upset about something, and people will turn it into a "be thankful, I'm worse off argument."

Today I was reading a thread about someone having to work on Chirstmas, and people are commenting, "at least you have a job." So the OP isn't allowed to be a little annoyed, because other's don't have jobs?

Or when I vent about my parents, I get a lot of "be thankful your parents are still alive" comments. Does that mean that any of you who have lost parents were never annoyed at them?

I just don't get the point of posting comments like that.

 

[mefordis]

Yes, I think some people just want to vent and they like to come here to do so to get some empathy and understanding.

But whether one likes it or not, they will get that along with other points of view. I guess it comes with the territory of posting anonymously on a community bulletin board. Sometimes it's good to see the other views of things, though. Sometimes I personally don't like it at first, but then I get some time to reflect and it does change my point of view.

 

[My sister's princess]

I don't have a problem when people are venting... we all need to sometimes, and this is a great place to do it, as the person you are venting about is unlikely to know. I think people tend to run into trouble when they end that vent with now what should I do, how would you feel, or the always deadly... was I over reacting

 

[NikitaZee]

I wouldn't begrudge someone a good vent. What annoys me the most is when people disagree - and other posters keep on hammering away with their arguments - getting insulting and sarcastic. Just because you find a different way to say it, doesn't mean I'm going to agree with it! It'd be nice to hear all points of view, in a respectful way

 

[ogreenlee]

I have found this board to be different than most others that I'm on. I think it's because it brings in lots of different types of people; young, old, hardcore, soft-spoken, devouts, heathens, etc..... I've noticed that there are more snide folks and more sensitive folks on this one than others. I had no idea that when I posted what I thought was kind of odd and funny about the old lady yelling at my kid that it'd turn around on me to the point where I was pretty much being called a bad mom. I could never see myself jumping on someone I didn't know and telling them how to raise their kids. If I had asked for advice, it would have been one thing. That is something different that I see here than elsewhere.

Anyway, I get in trouble a lot on this board for my opinion, but very rarely on others. I'm not sure why. I find it interesting, though.

 

[Scurvy]

I hate, hate, hate the responses that belittle someone's problems by saying that there are people who are worse off. Or the ones that say "If that's all you have to worry about, you should be thankful." There's almost always someone who is worse off, but that doesn't mean that the rest of us can't feel bad about our problems. They may be trivial to someone else, but they matter to the person experiencing them.

Yes, an OP who has to work on Christmas is luckier than someone who doesn't have a job at all. That doesn't mean he can't be upset about being expected to work on Christmas. If I break my arm and Bob has cancer, the fact that my problem is not as bad as Bob's doesn't mean I have to be happy about the broken arm. (Of course I'll be thankful not to have cancer, but I'm still going to be upset about the broken arm!)

I think communities like this are great for seeing different points of view. I think there's nothing wrong with sharing your perspective about someone's situation. But I think it's tacky to dismiss and belittle their problems, and to act as though they don't have a right to voice their displeasure, just because some people's problems happen to be worse.

The "Be thankful your parents are alive" comments are a little different, I think. Some people might feel that you shouldn't complain at all and I disagree with that. But others might have lost their parents and they wish they had done things differently when they had the chance. Maybe they wish that they had valued their time together more. Perhaps there are things they would do differently if they had the chance to do it over again and they see you doing or saying things that they would take back if they could, and they are trying to keep you from making the same mistakes that they feel they made. It's possible they are trying to tell you that and they are just going about it badly.

 

[Planogirl]

Someone can always be worse off so you really can't pay much attention to comments like that. I feel for those who have greater issues but that doesn't keep some things from being real annoying.

I say just vent away and ignore those who undermine you.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I wouldn't begrudge someone a good vent. What annoys me the most is when people disagree - and other posters keep on hammering away with their arguments - getting insulting and sarcastic. Just because you find a different way to say it, doesn't mean I'm going to agree with it! It'd be nice to hear all points of view, in a respectful way

I agree. Hammering is a good summation. Sometimes it seems like a pack of posters that hammer away together routinely on certain subjects. It can get ugly pretty quick.

 

[Squirlz]

You just have to realize that you are posting your feelings for the entire world to read and judge. You have no control over the responses you may get. If you can't handle that kind of scrutiny you're best off just talking to friends.

 

[Planogirl]

I just vented over there myself. I personally don't care if I get flamed.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Something that I've seen in a lot of threads recently is that the OP is upset about something, and people will turn it into a "be thankful, I'm worse off argument."

Today I was reading a thread about someone having to work on Chirstmas, and people are commenting, "at least you have a job." So the OP isn't allowed to be a little annoyed, because other's don't have jobs?

Or when I vent about my parents, I get a lot of "be thankful your parents are still alive" comments. Does that mean that any of you who have lost parents were never annoyed at them?

I just don't get the point of posting comments like that.

This isn't recent to me, I have seen these kinds of posts like this ever since I joined the Dis.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i've noticed that too. i made a post once just venting about something and i got so many "uhm.....i think you should be THANKFUL" comments that i didn't post anything for a while after that.

 

[disney1990]

When you post on a board like this, you are going to get every side of the story thrown back at you and you should expect that to be the case.

Yes, I know the OP was upset because she has to work on Christmas Day, but at our house Christmas has been cancelled due to my losing my job in February, so it is hard to be too upset that the OP has to work on Christmas Day.

This is basically a board about Disney and most Cast Members at Disney World and Disneyland will have to work on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and a lot of other holidays. The members of our Armed Services also have to work on those days; I am sorry that the OP works someplace that needs to be covered on holidays and I am sorry that she has to work, but life could be worse. Sorry.

 

[mefordis]

Are you really canceling Christmas? Do you mean you are just not buying gifts or do you mean you are completely ignoring the holiday? Just curious. I'm sorry about your job loss and I really hope you find another job soon!

When you post on a board like this, you are going to get every side of the story thrown back at you and you should expect that to be the case.

Yes, I know the OP was upset because she has to work on Christmas Day, but at our house Christmas has been cancelled due to my losing my job in February, so it is hard to be too upset that the OP has to work on Christmas Day.

This is basically a board about Disney and most Cast Members at Disney World and Disneyland will have to work on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and a lot of other holidays. The members of our Armed Services also have to work on those days; I am sorry that the OP works someplace that needs to be covered on holidays and I am sorry that she has to work, but life could be worse. Sorry.

 

[wdwfan16]

For me, when I am having a bad day I just remember that others have it worse than I do and that along gets me back on tract and out of the funk.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Something that I've seen in a lot of threads recently is that the OP is upset about something, and people will turn it into a "be thankful, I'm worse off argument."

Today I was reading a thread about someone having to work on Chirstmas, and people are commenting, "at least you have a job." So the OP isn't allowed to be a little annoyed, because other's don't have jobs?

Or when I vent about my parents, I get a lot of "be thankful your parents are still alive" comments. Does that mean that any of you who have lost parents were never annoyed at them?

I just don't get the point of posting comments like that.

I don't think there is anything wrong with pointing out the situation in that argument regarding working on Christmas. The person wanted special treatment and they aren't getting it and they are mad. I'd be upset too, but I'd make the best of it b/c nothing I can do will change it and it is 1 day out of 365.

I can't get all rah rah and agree with an OP who feels they are being treated unfairly when they actually are being treated very fairly.

I get more upset with people who are TRULY having a hard time and folks telling them they should be glad they are breathing. That includes people with family issues (be glad your relative is still alive), financial issues (you brought this on yourself OR your better off than the starving children in Africa OR at least you have a roof over your head), vacation issues (I wish *I* could afford to have that dilemma ).

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

This isn't recent to me, I have seen these kinds of posts like this ever since I joined the Dis.

Me too.

I once posted a response similar to what Scurvy wrote once. Only I can't remember the topic, but it was at least 2 years ago, but probably more like 3 or 4.

I find that if a person is truly just venting--they'll say that. Almost like, one should realize that folks may judge your post a certain way.

But sometimes, it is difficult to tell if a person is just venting and our own personal perspectives will come out and it doesn't always jive with what the OP intended.

But noone should ever be belittled their feelings and told "it could be worse". One can disagree without resorting to that. Though there are some poster who are gifted and saying those things with grace and it doesn't come across as belittling but just trying to help an OP to see the brighter side of the situation.

 

[NikitaZee]

But noone should ever be belittled their feelings and told "it could be worse". One can disagree without resorting to that. Though there are some poster who are gifted and saying those things with grace and it doesn't come across as belittling but just trying to help an OP to see the brighter side of the situation.

Well said. We aren't required to use the yardstick 'someone has it worse than you' to have a valid point. Someone may always have it worse than me - so what? Doesn't mean my pain, annoyance, irritation, etc. is any less important.

 

[C.Ann]

Anyway, I get in trouble a lot on this board for my opinion, but very rarely on others. I'm not sure why. I find it interesting, though.

Ditto! And for goodness sake, if you're going to post anything at all on here don't forget to include EVERY detail of your life - from your SS# to your doctor's name and phone# - to what color underwear you have on..

As for working on Christmas Day - I wouldn't be happy about it either - regardless of who does or doesn't have a job right now.. I'd like to see one person who currently has a job (and a family at home) jumping up and down with "glee" because they're working on Christmas Day rather than being able to spend that morning with their family.. I would be EXTREMELY surprised - unless they don't "do" Christmas..

 

[BelleWDW]

But there are some posters who "have" posted every tiny trivial detail of their lives. So when they vent, is it wrong that posters remember things theyve posted?