Is your Olive Garden like this?(Clarified in Post #30)

[LoveWDW]

Isn't a Madame the person who runs a brothel?? Maybe if I was receiving the money they make I might think different, but being called a prostitute is not a compliment.

No, Madame is French for a married woman. A Madam is the head of a brothel.

In the past, the married woman had more status, and so it was considered polite and even flattering to refer to a woman as Madame or Ma'am. To call a married woman "Miss" was considered condescending and even rude.

Olive Garden hostesses and servers are far from sales people and if they were "good" wait staff, they'd probably be at a fine dining establishment.

In defense of servers at small family restaurants everywhere, perhaps there is no "fine" restaurant convenient to the worker, or perhaps the hours needed are not suitable, or perhaps the person just likes working there or is part of the family who owns it.

 

[jgmklmhem]

The point about the "training" is that it is BAD training. Good sales people are natural and have more than one comment they use to greet clients and they NEVER comment on clothing in an insincere way. It's simply fasle, fake and bad form. Also, familiarity is NEVER good service, never. Have you not heard the saying, "familiarity breeds contempt?"
It's true and as a mark of good training, young staff people in restaurants should NEVER call a patron "dear", "Hon", "sweetie." The word, ma'am, is appropriate and polite when used with proper decorum.

Hey, I love the food at OG but the service leaves MUCH to be desired. Good wait staff never cross the line by being 'familiar.'

I disagree whole heartily. Where I used to work I went to a certain diner almost weekly. They knew my name and my order and even though it is just a little thing it made me feel special which is one of the reasons I kept coming back. Heck even the girl at Gandolfo's knew my name and that again made me feel special. Had they not done those things I probably would have still eaten there but probably not as frequently. People all the time on the cruise threads remark on how their server learns their eating habits and adjusts to them and it does make a difference. As for the OP as long as the canned responses/greetings/etc are given warmly and are not deadpanned I don't really see the problem.

 

[Planogirl]

I think it's obvious that no one really agrees on the best way to address customers. Everyone seems to have their own preferences with a few even being a bit "out there" IMO.

Since servers can't read minds, they have to go with whatever they assume will work and hope that enough people appreciate their "style" so that they will be compensated. To me, the important thing is intention. Short of calling me "stupid" or something similar, I think that I'll continue to assume the best.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

To the OP, would it be too far fetched to ever consider that your husband is a nice dresser and the host really did like his suits?

I am 41 LOVE being called ma'am, I call people my own age, in a position of authority ma'am. I was raised in Chicago and raised to use sir and ma'am.

As far as the Olive Garden by us - we just went for dinner with the kids this Saturday and had to get there at 4p so we wouldn't have to wait. We go because the kids like it; I think the food is fair, we live in an Italian neighborhood, some of the best Italian restaurants in the City and we have to go to the suburbs for Olive Garden . And we had snow Saturday night so and we got home at 9p! The things we do for love!

 

[bananiem]

To the OP, would it be too far fetched to ever consider that your husband is a nice dresser and the host really did like his suits?

Yes, it would be far-fetched . Where he works EVERYBODY wears a dark suit with a white shirt. Extremely conservative. And it's about 3 blocks from the OG. Trust me, the guy sees virtually the same suit over, and over, and over. Plus, it's the tone of his voice. It's painfully obvious that SOMEBODY at OG told him to say that to the men who come in at lunch time.

 

[cruiserkaren]

I just sat here and read every post in this thread. I am 28 and use the word "ma'am" all the time. I was raised being expected to use it along with sir. I'm shocked that some would find it offensive. That never crossed my mind. It also doesn't bother me one bit to be called ma'am. It doesn't make me feel old. I actually like it b/c is seems manners are so hard to come by these days. I have called my 2 year old DD ma'am. As in, "moommmyyy, soup ready???" I'll say yes, ma'am! The next few times I use the term I'm sure I'll think of this thread and hope the person I'm addressing isn't offended.

 

[Tiggerlover91]

Denise, you sound like a great waitress and I'd love to sit in your section. The only thing you mentioned that I dislike (and believe me, you are NOT the only one that does this) is to call the parents mom and dad. Although I've never fussed at anyone for doing this, it just gets on my last nerve. It seems to happen mostly at the doctor's office--not our regular dr who calls me by name but if we go to Immediate Care or the hospital. I hate it when they call me Mom. I'm not their mom. And DH isn't dd's dad which makes it really weird although he appreciates that more than if they call him her Grandpa!

Thanks for the honesty. I perfectly understand. I'll have to rethink about what to call mom and dad. Well that's easy, how about ma'am and sir!

Tiggerlover91, I think that you sound like a lot of fun and I would not mind that kind of service and interaction at all. Of course I'm the one who LOVES 50's Prime Time Cafe, so what do I know?

Aww thanks! And don't think your opinion isn't valid because you like a lot of interaction with your server. After 18 years, I can tell who wants to be interacted with and who wants to be left alone to dine in peace. I have no issue with that at all.