is this weird?

[friend2Figment]

If they ask just tell them you got a really great deal on it at one of your favorite shops. If your DDIL knows your shopping habits she may figure it out.
Not sure if you looked other places and could just not bring yourself to pay what they were asking, you could say something like after a long day of shopping and no luck you swung into Goodwill to see if they had any ???? and found a dress that was stunning so you tried it on and IT was the one.

For my nephew's wedding I got my dress, purse, shoes (w/ tag still on the bottom) & speciality bra (brand new in the box) for less than what my one sister paid for just her shoes. So I would not be afraid to tell others but my family knows I love to shop for the best deal I can find.

 

[momof2gr8kids]

Well, I am not sure I want to post this as some of you will conjure up all sorts of images in your mind....

but my WEDDING DRESS came from a thrift store!

I called the shop where it was made and the dresses start at $800 (back in '95) and went up to $5K.

There was a stain on the dress, probably coffee.

I got the dress for $50, soaked it in ALL in the sink and the stain came RIGHT OUT!

I spent $60 on alterations.

I got a lot of compliments on the dress. It really was a beautiful dress and very much my style.

Noone knew!

Dawn

No worries here - I'm picturing the gorgeous wedding dress I saw hanging up at our local 2nd hand store last week. I was thinking I wish I knew someone getting married that I could tell about it!

Our local stores get donations directly from the bridal shops in town, with the tags still on. Some great deals to be found!

The price of the dress doesn't guarantee the success of the marriage! Too many people get caught up in what everything's going to cost, trying to have the biggest, fanciest dress and wedding, they forget to take notice on making a marriage.

 

[fakereadhed]

It's a thrift store dress- not a lie detector! You don't have to tell her where you got it, just say, "So glad you like it!" or whatever makes you feel comfortable, even if it's not the gospel truth. Not a big deal! Enjoy your find and the wedding!!!

 

[jgates]

I was amazed at the number of people who asked me where I got my dress for son's wedding last fall. I really didn't expect it! I actually bought mine at Dress Barn Outlet a year ahead of time & had to pray it still fit when the time came!

 

[kimgg]

I don't encourage a lie, but just think the name "Goodwill" could cause the reaction she is trying to avoid. So saying a specialty store, or some other desription or just changing the subject (me, honestly I'd make something up) may make her more comfortable.

And I agree that there is a good chance no one will ask with all the other things going on that day. So all this speculation is probably not necessary. I think she just wants to make a decision beforehand so she feels comfortable with whatever she decides, whether it is to tell the truth or "spin" the truth a little.

 

[Nissi]

I agree with the posters who advise NOT to lie. You don't want to start off the relationship that way. Plus, if they found out later on where you did get it, it could cause an issue. Not to mention, how would you feel about yourself inside if you anything less than honest with them.

A suggestion, if I may, next time you are all three alone together, you could say...OK, ladies, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. (You could say you would like it to be just between the 3 of you if you want.) But, I didn't know if I was going to confess this or not! But.....I bought my dress at Goodwill for $7!!!!

They will probably say no way...I can't believe it.....It's gorgeous, you lok beautiful, etc. Then your daughter in law to be may ask you to help her start learning how to bargain hunt just like you!

My 21 year old daughter, who is adorable, classy and stylish, LOVES to find clothing at yard sales and thrift stores..then brags about it!

P.S. My (2nd) wedding dress was a Bridesmaid's dress that I ordered in white and accessorized. Nobody knew!

Will you keep us posted?

 

[bjscheel]

I still think the PP who said to tell them "It's X Brand, it's sold at X Store" or "this is from X Store" has got the solution. It is not a lie, and gives enough info to satisfy the asker. It was from that store at one time. I do the same thing. Today I am wearing a Talbots sweater that came from either GW or Salvation Army. But if anyone asks, I'll tell them "it's from Talbots"...

This is an important day for DIL and the above response will serve just fine and not call any further attention (good or bad) to the OP.

My DD wore a thrift store flower girl dress to her aunt's wedding and the aunt was quite pleased about it. I had actually picked it up just to add to the girls' dress up clothes. Then when I saw the bride's dress was ivory with a scalloped hem and a darker ivory scallop below- just like our flower girl dress in the dress up hamper I immediately pulled it out of dress up duty and tossed it in the washer. It was perfect.

 

[Disney845]

I also caution against a lie, or even deliberate misdirection (specialty store, it is such and such design from this brand name store, etc). You have already told all of your work friends, your husband, and everyone on the DIS. The chances that someone else could spill the beans and make you look like a liar is far worse than thinking you are "cheap" or place less value on this event than the son's first marriage.

I personally think that politely accepting a compliment about it (which is generally why anyone would ask where you got it in the first place) and then changing the subject would be the best thing if you just don't want to come right out with it.

The exchange could go something like this:

MoB ~ Oh Smidgy, what a lovely gown, you have to tell me where you got it!

Smidgy ~ Thank you so much MoB. As soon as I saw it I knew it would be perfect for this occasion. Of course we all pale in comparison to the bride. She is radiant today! I have to compliment you on the wonderful job you have done. She is such a lovely young lady and we are thrilled she is joining our family.

 

[Sugardimples]

Here's what I would say.

"thank you so much. I'm glad you like it. I never reveal my shopping secrets, I like a little mystery."

End of story.

 

[EclecticWAHM]

I'm not embarrassed; I'm actually proud of my thriftiness. I'm not cheap. Ill look for bargains, and yet spring for lunch with a friend, or buy a round of drinks.

the deal about telling the truth is: I don't want to hurt my new DIL's feelings. I don't want her to feel like, because it's my son's 2nd wedding, it's not important. ("why did you buy a new dress for his 1st wedding?")

Honestly, if that would hurt her feelings, she needs to grow up. That is not something that should hurt anyone's feelings. If it does, she's being unreasonable and immature and it's not your responsibility to coddle someone in a manner like that! As long as the dress is appropriate to the occasion, that's all that matters...or all that *should* matter.

 

[Vacation Lover]

Interesting thread. I totally get that you wouldn't want her to take the fact that you got the dress from goodwill the wrong way. I also think the evasive route is the way to go. If the topic comes up, say something like, "Oh, I feel like I tried on 100 dresses before I finally settled on this one! It's a (brand name.) I think your dress is lovely!"

 

[mrslur]

I bought my mother-of-the-bride dress at Goodwill for $4.00 and was proud of it. It was beautiful and perfect. It was a Friday evening wedding even.

 

[Philleigh]

If specifically asked where you got the dress, I would tell the truth that you got it at Goodwill. You could say you were making a donation and just decided to browse, and you liked this better than anything you saw in the department stores. Since you said how great your DIL is, I think she'd understand (and hopefull admire your bargain hunting skills!)

 

[OandA]

Here's what I would say.

"thank you so much. I'm glad you like it. I never reveal my shopping secrets, I like a little mystery."

End of story.

I like that idea.

 

[goNDmay9]

i think that is sooo sweet of you to be thinking of your future DIL like that. Some Brides get really sensitive and it is nice of you to be thinking of her feelings.

I am with the "don't lie" crew. If it EVEN comes up - i love the suggestions about - this day is about you....etc etc. My wedding day was such a whirlwind - i hardly remember what ANYONE wore - much less my MIL. I think she would care more about you trying to find the "perfect" dress than how much you paid for it.

it would mean more that you took the time to find the right dress for 7$ than if you paid your admin to pick out a dress for $400.

if anyone asks - you can always get excited and say - OMG - i got the BEST deal on this perfect dress....i will have to tell you the story later. CHEERS to having the perfect DIL! <insert clinking of champagne glasses>

PLEASE let us know if anyone asks and what you end up saying! No worries though - i PROMISE it will all work out.

dmm

 

[smidgy]

I bought my mother-of-the-bride dress at Goodwill for $4.00 and was proud of it. It was beautiful and perfect. It was a Friday evening wedding even.

great deal!! good for you!

i think that is sooo sweet of you to be thinking of your future DIL like that. Some Brides get really sensitive and it is nice of you to be thinking of her feelings.

I am with the "don't lie" crew. If it EVEN comes up - i love the suggestions about - this day is about you....etc etc. My wedding day was such a whirlwind - i hardly remember what ANYONE wore - much less my MIL. I think she would care more about you trying to find the "perfect" dress than how much you paid for it.

it would mean more that you took the time to find the right dress for 7$ than if you paid your admin to pick out a dress for $400.

if anyone asks - you can always get excited and say - OMG - i got the BEST deal on this perfect dress....i will have to tell you the story later. CHEERS to having the perfect DIL! <insert clinking of champagne glasses>

PLEASE let us know if anyone asks and what you end up saying! No worries though - i PROMISE it will all work out.

dmm

thanks!!
the problem with a lot of suggestions.. ie, say "after shopping around, i "happened upon" this at goodwill while looking for (blank)." or many of the other suggestions....
any of those are liesl I went there specifically looking for a dress I could wear. I didn't want to spend a lot of money. my intention was to loook there first. then go to Penny's or dress barn. start as inexpensive as possibel, then move up..
but NOT because the day isn't important, or anything. just cause I can't see spending a lot on a dress to wear one time.. I'm practical, and we're kinda broke... but she and my son know we DO spend money on Disney (and not much else!)
also, she and my son know me, and know I don't "shop", have NO idea where any "specialty" shops are, etc.\
If I said anything about not revealing my shopping secrets, my whole family would roll on the floor laughing, and say "you mean Wal mart, Mom?"
sorry, guys. I feel like I'm playing "why Don't you? Yes but." anyone remember that book in the late 60's "Games People Play"? (a psychology book) in this "game" the initiator poses a problem, others come up with various solutions, and after each solution, the initiator comes up with a "reason" why that won't work.
The end result is ... everyone has to admit that the initiator has an insurmountable, unsolvable problem. and.. she wins!
anyway, the wedding isn't till the end of July. so I'll let you all know if anything occurs in the meantime. (if she asks me straight out, I just KNOW I'll "crack".. yikes)
note to self.. be evasive, yet don't lie. (If I just wasn't such a chatterbox!)