is this tacky? kind of aggrevated.

[I_Know_You2!]

Not tacky. I'm sure they just see it as an awesome time to share a special moment within the family.

I'd just give a card to the second child.

 

[imthatgirl]

be happy you only have to take two gifts. My dfi became a godfather and was expect to pay for half the party, pay half for the dress, shoes , candle etc -outfit of the babyand a gift. Then the mother of the child mentioned tradition is to throw change/money to the kids that are there at the party. I finally put my foot down and told dfi he better speak up.

At that time we had just had a baby and bought a house so money was very tight.


our tradition is we the godparents between the pair pay for the child outfit, shoes, candle , bible etc. and chip in toward the party. Plus we buy a gift. No big deal for the outfit. candle, bible and gift but the party can get ridiculous with D.J or mexican band etc.

what religion?

 

[The Disney Bunch]

Why be aggravated? About what? They are having a joint celebration and you are invited to both. You only have to give a gift for the child that you are affiliated with. People combine celebrations all the time. Just go and have a good time. You may wish to bring a small gift for the other child - a book, a toy but you are not obligated to.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

I have a similar problem each year. We always celebrate my boys birthdays at one party. They both have December birthdays 2 weeks apart. We just pick a day in the middle and have 1 party. I never know how to do the invitations. I usually send invitations with both names to family and close friends. Then the boys each invite some friends from school. I usually only write 1 name on that invite. I feel bad, that I have surprised some parents when they showed up to a double party with only 1 gift. I thought I was doing them a favor, but they would have liked to bring a gift for each child. I guess I should just write at the bottom that it is a double party, but I don't want them feel like we are asking for 2 gifts.

 

[imthatgirl]

I have a similar problem each year. We always celebrate my boys birthdays at one party. They both have December birthdays 2 weeks apart. We just pick a day in the middle and have 1 party. I never know how to do the invitations. I usually send invitations with both names to family and close friends. Then the boys each invite some friends from school. I usually only write 1 name on that invite. I feel bad, that I have surprised some parents when they showed up to a double party with only 1 gift. I thought I was doing them a favor, but they would have liked to bring a gift for each child. I guess I should just write at the bottom that it is a double party, but I don't want them feel like we are asking for 2 gifts.

see i see it so different. if you write both names on the invite you are being invited to the party for both kids. therefor a gift for both kids would be appropriate. but, if there is only one name on the invite you would only bring a gift for the one child.
if i got there and there was another child i wouldnt feel bad one bit that i didnt b ring a gift for that child. i would assume the parents understood that not everyone knew both kids and each kid invited people the other didnt.

if it were my joint party i would never write both names on the invite. i would only send the invite from the child that is inviting them.

 

[imthatgirl]

Why be aggravated? About what? They are having a joint celebration and you are invited to both. You only have to give a gift for the child that you are affiliated with. People combine celebrations all the time. Just go and have a good time. You may wish to bring a small gift for the other child - a book, a toy but you are not obligated to.

if you are invited to both why would you not have to bring a gift for both? thisn is what the issue is.

 

[KATHINOWA]

We have done joint parties for our DSs and their cousins for first communion and another set of cousins did the same. We sent invitations with both names to everyone. With the exception of 1 or 2 people, people only brought gifts for the child that they knew. I didn't expect a gift for my child from my SIL's family. I didn't hear any complaints. I think people appreciated knowing it was a double-party but they certainly didn't feel they had to do a double-gift.

It never occurred to me that this was considered tacky, but from what I'm reading I guess it was.

 

[PaDisney02]

People r so wierd! y have a combo christaning? Thats the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I could see if they were twins or siblings but nothing more. y wouldnt each set of parents want to have their own party and their own baptism? This is a special occasion (at least in my family it is) I dont blame u for being ticket off. If u r not really close with the friends sister i would just get a little gift for their baby (but u almost have to get something) and get your regular gift for the godson. Good luck

 

[Tricia819]

Nor do I think it's tacky. I'm assuming most of the other guests are family of the children being christened, so rather than inviting the same guests to two christenings they just threw one as a matter of convenience.

Not being catholic I don't know what the gift guidelines are for such an occasion, but I'm sure it's perfectly acceptable to give the planned substantial gift to your husband's godchild, while just an acknowledgement to the sister's child.

Now, what would be tacky is if the sister gets miffed over it.

 

[nicki.momof3]

I think it is great they are having one party - great time saver for those families that have to go to both. You should not think you are expected to bering 2 gift. If you want to be nice give a nice card to the other child. I would not over think this. The celebration is about a christening not gifts.

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

We have joint birthday parties every year - but my kids are still little and we only invite family and close family friends (people who would be coming to both kids parties anyways LOL) so is actually more convienent for them to only have to come to 1 party LOL

 

[bumbershoot]

if you are invited to both why would you not have to bring a gift for both? thisn is what the issue is.

Because you only know one of the children.

I'm sure this isn't a gift grab, I'm sure this is just something they worked out as some sort of convenience to someone...either the parents or some co-relatives/friends, or perhaps even the priest (if they both wanted the same day, for instance, and it was really important to each of them).


There is absolutely NO chance that I would feel, even for one minute, like I even had to get a card for the kid of the people I don't know, let alone a present. And I don't think you should have to either.


And if it IS a gift grab, there's NO reason for you to opt into it!

 

[Alesia]

Because you only know one of the children.

I'm sure this isn't a gift grab, I'm sure this is just something they worked out as some sort of convenience to someone...either the parents or some co-relatives/friends, or perhaps even the priest (if they both wanted the same day, for instance, and it was really important to each of them).


There is absolutely NO chance that I would feel, even for one minute, like I even had to get a card for the kid of the people I don't know, let alone a present. And I don't think you should have to either.


And if it IS a gift grab, there's NO reason for you to opt into it!

Exactly!

Keep in mind that, almost always, the guests invited to a christening are family and very close friends, so a joint celebration makes a lot of sense.

 

[2kids1dog]

We had a joint party with my niece and DD this year. I made the invitations, and made three different sets. One for their side with niece's name, one for my side with DD's name, and a joint set with both of their names for the family who would be going to see both of them.

I think it's a little strange they didn't send out separate invites.

i could be completely off base here, so if i am let me know.

ok so my husband was asked to be the godfather of one of his closest friends son. great! they then said there would be a party at his mothers house after. great! cant wait!

well today i get an official invite in the mail. the christening is for not only that child but also for this friends sisters child. its a combo christening and a combo party and both children are listed on the invite. so i guess im brining a gift for both kids. we know his sister, shes not a close friend, we've met her.

i dont know maybe im mad for no reason, but shouldnt they have sent out seperate invites? or at least seperate invites to people that are only friends with one party? i understand having them together, it makes sense. but why put people in a position where they have to bring 2 gifts?

im really not trying to be cheap here, but traditionally its a cash gift. my husband will be the godfather of one of the kids so that gift should be somewhat substantial. i dont plan to match the gift.

aaargghhh...im a bit tiffed right now!!!

an i wrong here?

 

[imthatgirl]

Because you only know one of the children.

I'm sure this isn't a gift grab, I'm sure this is just something they worked out as some sort of convenience to someone...either the parents or some co-relatives/friends, or perhaps even the priest (if they both wanted the same day, for instance, and it was really important to each of them).


There is absolutely NO chance that I would feel, even for one minute, like I even had to get a card for the kid of the people I don't know, let alone a present. And I don't think you should have to either.


And if it IS a gift grab, there's NO reason for you to opt into it!

like i said, i know them.
i have never heard of a gift grab?

 

[Stitchfans]

do you think i could get away with just a card for the other child?
i get what youre saying about not knowing. i think if it were me i would write on the bottom something to the effect of "we will be celebrating along with so and so". in sort of a non chalant way. so the guest wouldnt feel they are being invited to both parties.

Didn't read all of the responses, but IMO just giving a card to the other child would be fine. Yes the way it was done is a bit tacky so you shouldn't feel bad just giving the other child a card.

 

[dancin'girl]

We were invited to a birthday party and when we got there we learned that there was a second child included in the party - and we didn't even know him! I felt awkward the whole time and felt almost embarrassed by the situation were we put in (not how the guest should feel!) At least you know ahead of time that there is a second child involved. I would think about how your going to feel when you arrive at the party and then do what you think you should do. I felt uncomfortable and wished I had brought something - even the smallest token. A card to wish the other child well is a kind gesture.

 

[imthatgirl]

We were invited to a birthday party and when we got there we learned that there was a second child included in the party - and we didn't even know him! I felt awkward the whole time and felt almost embarrassed by the situation were we put in (not how the guest should feel!) At least you know ahead of time that there is a second child involved. I would think about how your going to feel when you arrive at the party and then do what you think you should do. I felt uncomfortable and wished I had brought something - even the smallest token. A card to wish the other child well is a kind gesture.

i dont really understand why that would be weird? if you dont know the other child and werent given an invite with their name on it, you wouldnt feel the need to bring a gift. but had they invited you to a party for joe and jan, then you would be invited to 2 childrens birthdays. therefore , it would be appropriate to bring 2 gifts.