Is this tacky for a bridal shower? *UPDATE* page 6

[anniemae]

Any update OP?

 

[littleblackegg]

I think a bride would be disappointed to have her shower at Pizza Hut.

I would find a subtle and non-confrontational way to ask the bride what kind of setting she would prefer. I would definitely avoid any leading and confrontational statements like, "OMG. Mom wants to have your shower at a Pizza Hut!" Just about any food, from the very cheap to the very expensive, can be pre ordered and brought to the venue. You can decorate and make it just as fancy as you'd like for very little money. You want your sister to look back at the photos and see a lovely space and have wonderful memories. Maybe give your mom a special task, like the cake.

 

[cluvsdisney]

If I was invited to a shower that was being held in a pizza hut, I would think it's weird but it wouldn't keep me from attending. I would not be on board with switching venues midway through the shower.

If I were throwing a shower, I presume I would know the bride well enough to know whether or not she would be OK with having it at pizza hut. And it sounds like you know your sister wouldn't be happy with this. If you can be flexible about certain things, I am sure you'll find you can put together something within your budget that you know your sister and the guests would enjoy.

Good luck!

 

[scrapquitler]

An explanation to answer a lot of people's questions regarding why, if she's willing to have people come to her house afterwards, would she not have it there to begin with: She initially proposed to have the entire thing at Pizza Hut with a cake she brings in. I told her I didn't think Pizza Hut was a good idea for something like this, that a private residence with decorations, etc. would be a much better choice and I suggested that the bridesmaids could even help defray costs by each bringing a dish. She initially agreed to have us talk tonight about it, and shortly after is when she offered (what I see as a compromise of our ideas) to come back for desserts after Pizza Hut; this was only offered because I had resisted her initial suggestion.

I have a feeling the pizza deal she found is only if you eat in, so having pizza at her house would be defeating the point of the package deal (in her eyes). She also mentioned that if we have it at her house that she'd have to so much to do to clean up (this point however would be null and void if we come there afterwards, anyway). Her house on normal days is a bit cluttered so the task of cleaning every nook and cranny is probably overwhelming to think about.

I think that another part of this is that whenever she's hosted things like this she seems to go way over and above what one would expect her to do... In the past she's made more dishes than necessary, and each one is from scratch, sometimes using ingredients that don't need to be as fancy/expensive as she's made (crab dip, shrimp salad, etc.). She had my sister later in life and is getting older so I think she's at a point of wanting to make things easier on herself. She would usually be so exhausted before the party even started and maybe she's thinking she doesn't want it to get to that point again.

I'm going to talk to her tonight and assure her she doesn't have to hand-cater it with the best dishes... a few hors d'oeuvres and small dishes with maybe one dessert will suffice. I'll offer to greatly help her with preparing the house and food and I'll take care of the decorations. I'm glad I posted here because it seems apparent that this Pizza Hut thing *is* slightly strange so I will do my best to change her mind! Thanks for all the input so far, and feel free to continue commenting if you'd like!

A bunch of the pizzerias around here (Not Pizza hut, but still...) do functions like this....and they have a separate room where they do them. Does the pizza hut in question have a separate area where this function would take place? Like a separate room or maybe even a sunroom area that will be separated from the rest of the patrons? If thats the case, why not? Maybe not what you are used to, but I wouldn't say tacky. YOu keep mentioning the 'privacy' of having the gifts opened at home....have you never been to a shower or a party in a restaurant?

 

[Nettester]

I'm really in the minority, here. I see nothing wrong with having a shower at Pizza Hut if that's what the bride wants. So what if it's not traditional? I'd be more comfortable at Pizza Hut in jeans than at a fancy restaurant, hall, or church basement. Who's shower is it anyway? Maybe the bride doesn't care about decorations and silly shower games. A lot of people don't like those, by the way. Maybe she just wants everyone to have a relaxed time in a more casual environment. Nothing wrong with that. It's about celebrating together with close family and friends. It might not be what most other people would choose, but I'm not sure what difference someone else's choice makes, as long as it's within the budget of those who are hosting.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Saw this thread float to the top and thought it had been updated!

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm really in the minority, here. I see nothing wrong with having a shower at Pizza Hut if that's what the bride wants. So what if it's not traditional? I'd be more comfortable at Pizza Hut in jeans than at a fancy restaurant, hall, or church basement. Who's shower is it anyway? Maybe the bride doesn't care about decorations and silly shower games. A lot of people don't like those, by the way. Maybe she just wants everyone to have a relaxed time in a more casual environment. Nothing wrong with that. It's about celebrating together with close family and friends. It might not be what most other people would choose, but I'm not sure what difference someone else's choice makes, as long as it's within the budget of those who are hosting.

It wasn't the bride's idea, it was the mother of the bride's idea. The sister of the bride didn't seem to think the bride would love the idea, so she threw it out here.

 

[Allons-y!]

Another vote for tacky. Maybe I'm a total snob, but I honestly would have been mortified if my shower had been at someplace like Pizza Hut, and I would want no part of planning one there unless the bride specifically asked for that. I can't even begin to imagine anyone I know doing that, though, lol.

I've been to showers at homes and at venues. All but one or two have been catered and they all were lovely.

 

[Nettester]

It wasn't the bride's idea, it was the mother of the bride's idea. The sister of the bride didn't seem to think the bride would love the idea, so she threw it out here.

Oh . . . . I missed that important piece, sorry. Well, in that case. I think unless the bride really does like the Pizza Hut plan, she and her sister should have an honest discussion with mom and suggest some preferred alternatives.

 

[dollarmite]

I wouldn't attend a party that involved a location change half way through. Too much bother for me. If the MOB is going to clean the house anyway for the dessert portion of the day, why not just have the entire party there? It'd make the effort of cleaning a bit more worthwhile.

There's also the issue of other diners in the Pizza Hut. I've been into restaurants like this and seen kids' parties underway. Surprisingly the noise level from those tables were quite low. The same can't be said for the large adult groups I've seen in the same establishments. I can imagine that for something like a bridal shower where everyone is trying to get the bride's attention etc it'd be extremely noisy and rude towards the other diners.

 

[wishesuponastar]

If the bride is ok with Pizza Hut party then go for it.

 

[wide awake]

I skimmed this so may have missed something, but the family of the bride is not supposed to host the shower, so this is actually a non-issue for the OP.

 

[nkereina]

I skimmed this so may have missed something, but the family of the bride is not supposed to host the shower, so this is actually a non-issue for the OP.

This is a regional etiquette thing that is, IMO, old fashioned. Here in upstate NY, it's most common for the MOB and bridal party to host the shower. Typically, it's the MOB and Maid of Honor that call the shots and front the most money, and often the Maid of Honor is the sister of the bride. If you're of the opinion it should be the bridal party only hosting the shower, would you also say that any sisters of the bride or groom in the bridal party should then not contribute financially or in the planning efforts? That doesn't make sense to me.

 

[CrzyforPiglet]

It seems to me the easiest solution is the OP pay for the shower herself and then she can do what she wants. I think asking/expecting your mom to pay for the majority of the shower cost and then tell her how she should spend her money is tacky.

I have been to bridal and baby showers at homes, country clubs, bowling alleys, VFW halls, banquet rooms and yes Pizza Hut. If it's what the host can afford then that's what I expect. The point of the shower is to celebrate the bride and shower her with wishes for a happy marriage. I'm guessing this isn't your moms first choice of venue and probably wishes she could do more but maybe just can't. How about you call around to other restaurants and find another option comparable in cost? Then you can have your moms financial support which you seem to need and it would be at a place more "acceptable" for you. And please stop pushing to have it at her house - as much as I love to entertain it stresses me out no matter how much help I have. Let your mom enjoy herself at her daughter's shower.

 

[Vernie822]

In our area, most showers are held at a restaurant or at a person's home. I hosted a shower for my friend a few years ago and we held it at my parents' church. There was a full kitchen with a bunch of tables and chairs in the church hall. It was really nice and I think we paid $150 to host it there (this paid for the rental and a liquor license through the diocese).

The $150 to rent was not bad at all because we split it among the 6 bridesmaids & we made or purchased all of the food ourselves. Honestly the cost was minimal & if you're willing to do most of the set up, I highly recommend it!

Personally I would not want to change venues in between (I know you said that was a suggestion after your mom had already suggested the Pizza Hut idea). I also think about the Pizza Huts in my area and I would not want to have my shower there.

What about Panera? They cater and often have the meeting rooms available. You wouldn't have to cook, except bringing in dessert.

 

[MickeySP]

Pizza Hut - OH that is hilarious!!!

Wait she's serious?

Maybe McDonalds - they have the Fun Place & a ball pit.

 

[georgina]

I skimmed this so may have missed something, but the family of the bride is not supposed to host the shower, so this is actually a non-issue for the OP.

Why should anyone care who is hosting the shower? THAT is the non-issue for me. Would you refuse to attend a shower hosted by the MOB because 'it just isn't done'?

 

[nkereina]

What about Panera? They cater and often have the meeting rooms available. You wouldn't have to cook, except bringing in dessert.

Good suggestion but a word of warning that if price is the main concern, Panera is expensive! We order from there for work lunches sometimes. Once we spent over $700 on sandwiches, chips and cookies! When I go there alone for lunch, I easily spend $10-$15. Pizza Hut would surely be cheaper, but no doubt Panera would be nicer.

 

[mamamary]

Why should anyone care who is hosting the shower? THAT is the non-issue for me. Would you refuse to attend a shower hosted by the MOB because 'it just isn't done'?

I know I don't care who hosts the shower. I think if a MOB wants to it wouldn't matter to me at all.

 

[Donnainnj]

Another option that may be available at a reasonable price is through your local parks system. While looking for venues for my son's First Communion party I found out that our county parks have rental spaces available for a reasonable rate. The starting price depending on location and size was as low as $100 for 4 hours (basic room for 40, more like a classroom set up) Some of the locations are beautiful. I knew they offered outside picnic facilities, but didn't know they had indoor rooms for rent.