Is this strange or is it just me?

[OurBigTrip]

Did anyone post that they were opposed to the couple going to the parks alone? I posted about not leaving them together in a hotel room, but that's it.

Yes, someone did.

Vacation begins on New Year's Eve? If they think it's ok to book airfare and assume you'd be fine with your daughter going, will they also assume you're fine with her drinking, too (in the room, perhaps)? Going off in the parks alone with their son?

 

[NHKristy76]

No, she didn't know until this past week, when they did the booking while she was over there for her BF's birthday. She came home that night and told me. She is a very responsible girl, getting straight A's in school, is the first chair violin in orchestra, plays two varsity sports and volunteers at the local shelter. I trust my daughter completely and that is why we are letting her go. The BF's family does treat her like part of their family, taking her to the eldest brother's college to visit, shopping at the mall, and inviting her to all of their family celebrations. I do not appreciate you lumping my daughter in with how other teenagers behave. I do plan on speaking with the BF's dad this weekend when he drops him off on Sunday and I'm sure he'll give me all of the details then.

Sounds like you have raised a great girl and she's going to have a great time!

 

[LaurenT]

I bet when you call them (and of course you have too!!) you'll find out that boyfriend told them he already cleared it with you.

 

[Baptist]

I'm not sure if everyone is taking this into it's proper context. Boltfan has known the family for years. Her DD is like part of the family. Sleep overs and overnight trips have already happened between the families. This is not a stranger inviting your 15 year old daughter on a vacation.

Should they have asked first, sure. But, sometimes people get excited and want to book first and ask questions later.

I have 2 daughters and are very protective. Proper sleeping arrangements are a must of course. You got that covered.

Posters should lighten up a little. I hope you have a great time in November and she does the same at New Year's.

 

[maiapapaya]

I'm not sure if everyone is taking this into it's proper context. Boltfan has known the family for years. Her DD is like part of the family. Sleep overs and overnight trips have already happened between the families. This is not a stranger inviting your 15 year old daughter on a vacation.

Should they have asked first, sure. But, sometimes people get excited and want to book first and ask questions later.

I have 2 daughters and are very protective. Proper sleeping arrangements are a must of course. You got that covered.

Posters should lighten up a little. I hope you have a great time in November and she does the same at New Year's.

The OP posted asking whether people thought this situation was strange, because she thought it was. People have answered with their honest opinions (the OP added more info re their knowledge of the other family etc, as things were posted), but if there were no questions about this situation in the OP's mind then why bother posting and asking others what they think?

 

[Laineysmom]

I'm not sure if everyone is taking this into it's proper context. Boltfan has known the family for years. Her DD is like part of the family. Sleep overs and overnight trips have already happened between the families. This is not a stranger inviting your 15 year old daughter on a vacation. Should they have asked first, sure. But, sometimes people get excited and want to book first and ask questions later. I have 2 daughters and are very protective. Proper sleeping arrangements are a must of course. You got that covered. Posters should lighten up a little. I hope you have a great time in November and she does the same at New Year's.

I guess everyone is different but I would be more put off if it's someone I'm close to. For example if my sister told my daughter they were taking her to Panama City Beach (3 hour away) next weekend without asking me or DH first, I'd be very upset. Even if it was just a sleepover at their house, my sister knows this should be discussed with the parents first. I agree that since these are family friends and not just the BF, as long a appropriate sleeping arrangements are in order the trip itself isn't questionable (although I know my DH would never agree to something like this with our DD). The fact is this is major trip out of state. One thing that hasn't been mentioned, you need to get notarized letting giving the boyfriend's parents medical power of attorney during the trip just in case heaven forbid it necessary.

I admit this hits a nerve with me because my father did something similar. My sister and bil were planning a trip to visit him in PA (we are in AL) and when talking to my daughter (5 at the time) on the phone ask if she wanted to come too and he'd pay for it. If he had asked me first I would've been fine with it but he didn't and that really irked me. The point is parents should be consulted before speaking to the kids about any sort of trip.

 

[nervous1sttimer]

Last year I let my 9-yo DD fly unaccompanied to visit a friend from camp, whose family I had never met.

ZOMG.

 

[Laineysmom]

ZOMG.

This was my initial thought as well but then I reread it. The friend her daughter had met at camp. I'm sure the parents had spoken on several occasions while planning this all out. I still don't think I would've done this (but having been a flight attendant, I'm not sure I have a lot of faith in the unaccompanied minor programs airlines have).

 

[StitchBuddy]

I teach high school and also have a DD17. This is very common these days among teenagers and families. It is up to the parents and child, and what they are comfortable with.

 

[1stvisit0909]

ZOMG.

My reaction exactly.

 

[disneynewbee]

I'd tell them she couldn't go without you, maybe you can get a free trip I do think it's odd that they didn't ask before booking airline tickets but I'm also not rich and can't afford to lose money. I would just talk to them ASAP, there may be a perfectly good explanation.

 

[LilyWDW]

The OP posted asking whether people thought this situation was strange, because she thought it was. People have answered with their honest opinions (the OP added more info re their knowledge of the other family etc, as things were posted), but if there were no questions about this situation in the OP's mind then why bother posting and asking others what they think?

Then people should read the whole thread before posting. It was mentioned plenty of times that they had known each other awhile. She even mentions that her daughter has known their daughter even longer then anyone has been dating. But people kept posting based off of just the original information even AFTER things were cleared up a bit better.

 

[Laineysmom]

Then people should read the whole thread before posting. It was mentioned plenty of times that they had known each other awhile. She even mentions that her daughter has known their daughter even longer then anyone has been dating. But people kept posting based off of just the original information even AFTER things were cleared up a bit better.

Wow! I don't know which posters you are referring to but I for one did read the entire thread before posting and my original opinion changed very little. And actually the poster said her daughter was very close with the family and the poster only saw them occasionally at school functions. Just because one doesn't share your same opinion on the subject doesn't mean they didn't get all the facts first. Also, a subject like this can lead to answering the original post without reading through. Sorry if that violates your personal rules for posting.

 

[maiapapaya]

Then people should read the whole thread before posting. It was mentioned plenty of times that they had known each other awhile. She even mentions that her daughter has known their daughter even longer then anyone has been dating. But people kept posting based off of just the original information even AFTER things were cleared up a bit better.

My point was, this thread is titled "Is this strange or is it just me?" The OP described the situation and seemed to be asking for people's opinions. Some may have been questioning the daughter's actions, etc, but no one here knows these people (therefore don't know all the in's and out's of their relationships) or maybe they got the impression, in their opinion, that the DD was not being honest with the parents ... (not saying that's the case, just guessing at the intent behind people's comments) Anyways, as I was trying to say in response to the post I quoted, this wasn't a thread about "wow, my DD's BF's parents are taking her to WDW, isn't she lucky?" then people got judgey. The OP said she thought the other parents' behavior was strange, and asked if others thought the same. They offered their opinions. The person I was replying to said that people should relax. Why? They were asked their opinion and gave it. She made it sound like they were giving unsolicited negative comments.

 

[Baptist]

The OP posted asking whether people thought this situation was strange, because she thought it was. People have answered with their honest opinions (the OP added more info re their knowledge of the other family etc, as things were posted), but if there were no questions about this situation in the OP's mind then why bother posting and asking others what they think?

I appreciate the posts and everyone's input. I think the typed version of "lighten up a little" reads worse than I intended. I really meant "after you read all the posts, it does not seam that bad".

 

[mousefan73]

I do find it a bit odd. Odd as it takes at least 30 minutes to book a vacation yet they didnt have the 1 minute to call or have DD call direclty as they were booking in the background.. You said she was there when they booked.

Just odd and needs some clarification. I understand the issue is just the lack of communication, not the trip or other issues people are making up.

I get how responsible kids at 15 need to ask themselves and many do and parents are ok with that. But If I was the one making the bookings, the least I could do is pick up the phone and call.

Actually I would be more mad at DD.. I read she was at their house when they make the booking??

At 15 I would have taken my smart phone ( dont they all have one now) right there on the spot and called my mom and have said all excited.. "hey mom I am at boyfriends house and his parents are booking a vacation and I can go.. can I??"

Also, Does DD have school break at this time?? If not, did the parents assume you will be getting her out???


In your situation, I'd be cool with the trip,excited. But I would still add my .02 nicely and say

" so I heard from DD that she gets to go on the trip with you guys, to be honest I am just a bit put off, that I wasnt told beforehand,, I have no problem but would have liked to have know...from you directly"


ESPECIALLY if they are paying.. one other thing.. has it been 100% communicated they are paying.. I would also discuss what their expectations are.. Is this a free for all, food, everything... just my .02 that would bug me,. someone booking a vacations for DD without asking and then assuming I cover some costs.. sure DD at 15 can take responsbility. but IMO, not that kind.

 

[Fly me with Balloons]

It's strange & inappropriate. As a father of 3 teenaged daughters, it's an easy one. The answer is no. The way it was handled, combined with the fact that she's only 15 and will be traveling away with her boyfriend makes my spine twist.

 

[Minniesgal]

I invited my 15 year old sons girlfriend to stay with us in June. She spoke to her father who bought her flight and I picked her up at the airport and we treated her like one of the family for he week she was here. Not no point did I speak to her father he communicated direct with her. At that age they are almost a adults and we should be able to trust them quite a bit.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I don't even allow my DS 14 to have a friend have a simple sleepover unless I speak with the parents first.

I clearly remember being 15 and telling my mom I was going to stay at this persons house and really be somewhere else.

I don't ever want a kid using my house as his cover and being in the middle of anywhere.

 

[Mousemommy1]

So all either set of parents had to go on was the word of a 16 year old? You could have made up the whole trip when talking to your parents, and you could have made up permission to his.

When I was 16 that would not have been OK with my mom, though she was always weighing things against the fact that she was married at 17. And it woudn't be at all OK with me, thinking ahead to when my son is 16.



OP I'm glad you're OK with it. I wouldn't be. And a 15 year old having been dating a boy for 18 months...hyperventilating at that one! I had my first date at 16! Worked out well for me. (for my mom, too, since it helped me not follow her in early marriage-land, though the reason she had was just to get out of her parents' house)

Had my first date at age 15. It was with a wonderful guy who I have now been with for 20 years (married for 12). I wouldn't change a thing.

OP, his family absolutely should have gotten permission though!!