Is this more normal than I think?

[Maleficent13]

Is it normal for people 2 years into a relationship to be completely exclusive with each other? What I mean is, spending 24/7 together, with no outside influences at all? Cutting off all friends and all activities enjoyed prior to meeting each other?

It sends my radar spinning, but maybe it's not as odd as I thought.

 

[Hedy]

It's possible, but (and I am donning my flame proof suit) is there any possiblitity that there is any abuse going on in this relationship?

 

[NMAmy]

24/7--no work or anything at all?

Are both parties perfectly content with this? Or is it a control issue on someone's part?

 

[Maleficent13]

Well, yes, they do spend 8 hours a day physically apart at work...but they call each other every half hour so while there...once many months ago I went to lunch with her and he called 5 times in that hour.

I personally think this is a control issue, and yes, I am terrified there is some possible abuse, but I have NOTHING to base this on. I would never say anything to this person, but I have told her I am always here to talk.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Well, yes, they do spend 8 hours a day physically apart at work...but they call each other every half hour so while there...once many months ago I went to lunch with her and he called 5 times in that hour.

Every 1/2 hour?? Sounds pretty possessive, especially since they've been together that long. I could maybe see if they were just starting to date and they're MADLY (aka ) in but that kind of thing usually dies out after a couple weeks.

 

[ducklite]

Not normal and sounds controlling, which is a form of abuse.

Anne

 

[NMAmy]

Well, yes, they do spend 8 hours a day physically apart at work...but they call each other every half hour so while there...once many months ago I went to lunch with her and he called 5 times in that hour.

I personally think this is a control issue, and yes, I am terrified there is some possible abuse, but I have NOTHING to base this on. I would never say anything to this person, but I have told her I am always here to talk.

They call EVERY HALF HOUR? How do they get anything done?

No, Mal, it doesn't sound normal to me at all. If DH called me every half hour, I'd quit answering the phone. I mean, I like him and all but come on!

I don't know what more you can do than you've already done, Mal. It sounds like she knows you're there if she needs help. It's really beyond my imagining to be in a relationship like that.

 

[hlbtimes2]

If he is calling her 5 times in an hour, I would say with out a doubt he has some control issues. She should run, and run fast, away from him. She more then likely doesnt see it, just thinks he cares about her. Once she is away, she realize just how bad it was. I've seen it happen more then once.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

While DH and I do most things together and our friends are usually friends with the both of us, that five phone call in a hour thing is Also, we do things apart on occassion (I have a girl's only shopping trip coming up for an example). This relationship does not sound normal.

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

DH and I are best friends and do practically everything together. We do have some things we do apart though and we haven't ditched our friends.

He also calls me several times a day. He has never called me 5 times in a hour though.

I think their relationship is a little strange. There is probably something going on (controlling, depedency, something).

 

[Wishing on a star]

Not normal at all...

Frightening!!!

 

[curlybop]

Red flag, red flag!!

No, it doesn't sound normal. To leave out all activities or social stuff is just odd. Plus all the phone calls? There's got to be more going on there. Lack of trust or major control issues.

 

[Aidensmom]

That is one of the big red flags of a controlling/abusive relationship. Not that I am saying there is a guarantee that it is this way, but it is definitely something to think about.

 

[kimmikayb]

no, not normal at all and frankly, very creepy.

 

[juligrl]

IMO probably not very healthy.

 

[MareQ]

The phone calls are what's throwing me off.

Everything else is pretty much what DH and I did - he had friends, I had friends- we met - fell in love and pretty much realized that we're perfectly happy just with ourselves and our families. I didn't intend to "ditch" my friends - that's just what ended up happening.

We're together 14 years - married 10 - have 3 kids. He works - I work at home - other that that and my weekly trip to the supermarket - we do everything together Suits us just fine BUT - we only talk once during the day - sometimes twice if we need something (IE pick up milk etc) Calling 5 times in a hour is NOT normal.

 

[Kimmie5870]

The phone calls are what's throwing me off.

Everything else is pretty much what DH and I did - he had friends, I had friends- we met - fell in love and pretty much realized that we're perfectly happy just with ourselves and our families. I didn't intend to "ditch" my friends - that's just what ended up happening.

We're together 14 years - married 10 - have 3 kids. He works - I work at home - other that that and my weekly trip to the supermarket - we do everything together Suits us just fine BUT - we only talk once during the day - sometimes twice if we need something (IE pick up milk etc) Calling 5 times in a hour is NOT normal.

It's nice knowing DH and I aren't the only ones like this. We've been married 18 yrs and it still doesn't get old


OP: The phone calls sound a little odd. Do you know if they've cut themselves off from their families?

 

[chamonix]

I agree it can be normal to be together all the time...dh is my best friend and I would rather be with him than with anyone else most of the time.....however, I also agree it's the 5 phone call thing that seems really off.

That's the red flag--doesn't he trust her to go somewhere for an hour or two without him? I would try to get her to open up about this aspect more. That's pretty controlling and freaky, and clearly a trust issue. Focus on that if you try to speak to her about this.