Is this creepy?/WWYD?

[luvmarypoppins]

I cant believe with all the "creepy" posts/threads I have been reading lately, I am actually posting one and asking WWYD?

Its really two incidents

1. Dh shares an office. He is going to be transferring to another dept. soon. But this officemate whom he still might have contact with talks to dh. They seem to be on good terms. Well dh commented to him and said he was happy that our ds23 finally was offered a full time job position. etc.

The office mates comment: Oh yeah, I already knew that. I read it on your sons facebook page. Doesnt this guy have anything better to do then to look at this. etc. I am glad dh and I are not on facebook or he would probably be checking us out too.

Of course I wish dh would say something, not confrontational, just maybe in a joking kind of way. But would you confront an office mate about this? It makes me feel uncomfortable.

Then #2.
Yest at church some guy whom we know comes up to ds19 and says "You know, you should be more careful of your surroundings." He then proceeds to show ds a picture on his cell phone of ds and a former girl/friend from hs. Ds and this girl were walking on campus etc.He said, oh I was waiting to pick my son up from college etc. (They only have 1 car to share). I dont know, it just creeps me out that this guy is taking pictures of my son when we are not even in church etc. Cant this guy do something else either and take pictures of his own kids and stop "Spying" on ours. He is another one of should we let it go. I dont want to say too much but really this guy needs a life. We night see him sat. at an event and I hope he doesnt take pictures again etc. WWYD?

 

[tar heel]

Facebook -- not weird b/c this is exactly how Facebook works. The office mate is probably "friends" with your DS. It would be truly weird if your DH "confronted" him about this.

Church -- Strange.

 

[npmommie]

I cant believe with all the "creepy" posts/threads I have been reading lately, I am actually posting one and asking WWYD?

Its really two incidents

1. Dh shares an office. He is going to be transferring to another dept. soon. But this officemate whom he still might have contact with talks to dh. They seem to be on good terms. Well dh commented to him and said he was happy that our ds23 finally was offered a full time job position. etc.

The office mates comment: Oh yeah, I already knew that. I read it on your sons facebook page. Doesnt this guy have anything better to do then to look at this. etc. I am glad dh and I are not on facebook or he would probably be checking us out too.

Of course I wish dh would say something, not confrontational, just maybe in a joking kind of way. But would you confront an office mate about this? It makes me feel uncomfortable.

Then #2.
Yest at church some guy whom we know comes up to ds19 and says "You know, you should be more careful of your surroundings." He then proceeds to show ds a picture on his cell phone of ds and a former girl/friend from hs. Ds and this girl were walking on campus etc.He said, oh I was waiting to pick my son up from college etc. (They only have 1 car to share). I dont know, it just creeps me out that this guy is taking pictures of my son when we are not even in church etc. Cant this guy do something else either and take pictures of his own kids and stop "Spying" on ours. He is another one of should we let it go. I dont want to say too much but really this guy needs a life. We night see him sat. at an event and I hope he doesnt take pictures again etc. WWYD?

I don't understand the being aware of your surroundings comment? what was son doing, just walking on campus. anyone at any minute can take a picture of anyone. seems like everyone has a camera phone so not sure what that is all about. but yes i find it creepy that he actually took the picture and showed it to ds and said that. I don't get it.

the first incident, yes creepy, but I don't facebook so I don't understand it, don't you have to be a friend of someone to read their updates? so if he is a friend on facebook of your ds then it isn't creepy I guess that he is reading it, but if its open to the public and he goes to seek out your ds yes creepy.

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

Facebook -- not weird b/c this is exactly how Facebook works. The office mate is probably "friends" with your DS. It would be truly weird if your DH "confronted" him about this.

Church -- Strange.

Agreed

 

[DMickey28]

The facebook thing - eh, I don't know if it's that strange. Is your DS friends with this guy on facebook? Maybe talk to your DS about making his wall more private?

The church thing is just wierd. Why would he say that DS needs to watch his surroundings? He was just walking with someone ... was he implying something was amiss? What was the point of the guy at church doing that? How does your DS feel about that? Being that he's 19 now, it's probably up to him to ask that guy what he means by that.

 

[hj0519]

#2 I would say is creepy.

#1, I would say no, not necessarily, if he and your son are facebook frieds...he didn't necessarily have to go look up your son's page to know that he's got a full time job, it could have shown up on his newsfeed in a status or wall post from mutual friends or whatever. I find out a lot of stuff about random people I'm not really good friends with from facebook, but I'm not going and checking their pages out, it comes up in my newsfeed. If officemate and your son aren't friends, and your son's page is public and officemate went on your son's page to check things out, I would say that your son needs better privacy settings.

 

[Hannathy]

Facebook one no not creepy or weird, if your son hadn't friended him he couldn't see his page (meaning he doesn't care if this person knows, so why should you?) and if he can without being friends then your son needs to change his privacy settings.

The second one: i have a feeling they were doing more than just walking the way you worded it and with the guy taking a picture and then the guy is right your son does need to be more aware of his surroundings and know people are everywhere taking pictures.

so I don't think either and especially the first one is weird or creepy.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Incident #1--Sounds to me like you need to have a talk with your son about internet safety and setting his facebook page to friends only.

Incident #2--a bit odd, but not really creepy. Was your son just walking with this girl, or was their PDA or some reason for the person to make the comments? Either it is jsut odd and something to take note of but not worry about unless you get a bunch of other odd behaviour, or else your son needs some reminders of appropriate public actions with the girls. From what you posted, I have no idea which it would be

 

[LuvOrlando]

FB might have been a nice way to give your DH a heads up that the entire office can see what your kid is up to if his privacy limits aren't tight enough. If they are friends it just shows up on the news feed when it's opened, no snooping necessary, I see everyone's everything all the time.


Grown man snapping pictures of your kid, that would be over the line for me. Next time I see him I'd ask very publicly (embarrassment is a good deterrent) if he has any other interesting pictures of your family he wants to share on his phone since you heard about the one of your son and his friend and would like to see it too. That ought to do it

 

[The Mystery Machine]

#1. Facebook. If your son is on FB, expect to be stalked. Just how it works.

Tell your son to change his privacy settings esp if he is posting "interesting" stuff.

#2. I suppose I would ask him to elaborate why your son "needs to be more careful"? The guy is either off his rocker or more than likely is misinterpreting the situation of your son walking with a EX. Or maybe your son was doing more than walking?

Might be more to the story there or he might be a loon. That remains to be seen.

If you want to go speak to him I would go with an open mind in case there is more to the story.

If he turns out just to be "creepy" then I would ask him kindly to not take pics of my kids when they are out and about because it is just plain stalkerish.

 

[LisaR]

I'm confused. Is your son Facebook friends with your DH's coworker? If so, I can't figure out why it would be weird or creepy.

I am going to assume that your son isn't friends with him and this guy was stalking him. That really is to be expected with FB. Very simple solution for that. Tell your son to make his FB private/

The guy from church seems weird. Was your son doing something dangerous? I don't get how walking around a campus would warrant pictures and a warning. Seems odd to me and the guy probably should work on minding his own business.

 

[nmmom95]

I actually think both are creepy. I don't understand why someone at your husband's office would look at your son's facebook. I understand that everything is "out there," but I think it's weird to look up a co-worker's family.

The guy at church is even worse.

 

[lizabu]

If your son and the co-worker are "friends" on facebook this is not creepy at all. Any status updates made by your son would show up in this man's newsfeed. If they are not "friends" it is creepy because the co-worker would have had to actually visit your sons profile page.

Taking a photo of your son is weird and creepy unless your son was doing something wrong and the person from church was trying to make you aware of it but even then the kid is over 18 and can do what he wants.

 

[kamik86]

I agree that the FB one isn't creepy... Just something that happened at work once makes me realize its easy for something like that to happen.

The person who sits across from me (Lets call him A) works on another project, one day he was talking to someone about how his wife is pregnant again. They weren't talking exremely quitely and our cube doors are litterally 2 steps from each other.

A week later I'm in a meeting for my project. A's wife works on this project too so she is also in the meeting. Someone mentioned something about her being pregnant and everyone seemed really surprised, except me and the person who said it of course since I hadn't even realized no one else knew (I was new to the group so for all I knew she had made an announcment at a previous meeting). Now I didn't say anything about having known but I could see if I had that it may have seemed a bit weird at first, but its not like I'm stalking this couple or anything. I just happen to sit across from A.

So it is quite possible that the coworker is friends with your DS, maybe even due to something else entirely. And he found out that way. You don't have a location tag but this is even more likely if you live in a smaller town/area... I can't tell you how many stories I have about people I know getting caught in lies etc because their parents/significant others knew someone else that overheard/saw them doing something they shouldn't have been.

 

[tar heel]

Actually, the FB can be even more benign than has been mentioned. It could be that the two are not FB friends but have a mutual friend "George." When "George" congratulates DS on getting a job, it would show up on the co-worker's news feed.

Not sure what would be wrong with the two being "friends" for that matter since the DS is 23. I know my two younger sons are "friends" with someone DH works with.

I don't have my Facebook set to private, but I don't put a lot on there either.

 

[katesorad]

Situation #1: I think that stalking others on Facebook, while creepy, is normal. Though, it's possible that the co-worker just saw it on his news feed, which isn't all that creepy if he was just looking through what people had to say on his feed. Maybe it's a little weird that he told your DH that he saw it on Facebook.. he should've just kept it to himself.

Situation #2: This is very creepy. I'd confront this guy about it. I'd ask him why he's taking pictures of other people, and if he thinks that's normal. See what he has to say.

 

[Hannathy]

Situation #2: This is very creepy. I'd confront this guy about it. I'd ask him why he's taking pictures of other people, and if he thinks that's normal. See what he has to say.

Why is this very creepy? people take pictures of other people all the time. It actually is quite normal.

I still think possibly there was more to the picture than walking. Or the guy could just think it was neat he saw someone he knew at the school.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

1. Is this guy FB friends with your son? If so, then there is nothing creepy about it. If not, then yes it is creepy and your son needs to go through his privacy settings and make sure they are as tight as he can get them.

2. As I don't know what was in the photo, I can't really say. If your son was just walking across campus with his girlfriend, then there wouldn't be anything he can do about "his surroundings" and I would call the guy creepy.

If your son was doing something he shouldn't do in public (PDA, something illegal, etc) then the guy could have been teaching your son a lesson. Probably not his place but I wouldn't call it creepy per se.

 

[ilovejack02]

Facebook issue, not creepy at all if they are friends. Anything your son posts pops up on this guy's newsfeed, he doesn't have to go to your son's page to read it.


issue #2 could be or could be not creepy. Maybe your son was doing something that he needs to be more aware of his surroundings when he is doing it. : ) or maybe not. I would have asked exactly what he meant to get to bottom of story before jumping to creepy conclusions. As the mother of a 21 year old, If someone said this about my son , I wouldn't be real surprised, while he is growing up, at 19 yrs he was typical college kid who yes, at times needs to watch what he was doing in public.

 

[Pig Pen]

#1 not creepy.

#2 could be creepy. Taking pics of anyone w/o permission is creepy to me.

So what do you think about this? A co-worker says that when I call her cell from my WORK phone (which is not connected to facebook in any way), my facebook picture flashes. It's a bit disconcerting since she is NOT a facebook friend and I can't figure out how my work number got linked to my facebook profile. Also, I have set my pages for the maximum of security.

I have since changed my facebook picture to my daughter's dog, just in case...