Is This Common?

[disykat]

I think it sounds like a great rule. However, I would think it would be more fair to go by having a passing GPA not individual classes.

I finally got it out of my son why he has refused two invitations to Tolo - he thinks the behavior at dances is too bad and doesn't want to go to any more dances unless they get a handle on it. I thought it was pretty interesting coming from him because he's all about a party. My older son, who I just thought wasn't interested in going to the dances, piped in that his whole crowd has pretty much decided to avoid the dances. I was talking to another parent today and I guess the dances are struggling financially because there's such a divide (among the kids) on what kind of music, what kind of dancing, and what kind of rules should be enforced. There's a large segment that wants more rules. I think a "student in good standing" rule would be a good start.

 

[Reddy]

when I was in school - the school only had the prom
all other dances where done by the Medtist church

 

[chmbnaut66]

I have been teaching Middle School for about 13 years and applaud your Principal's decision to hold the students accountable for their grades. When I was in school, if my grades dropped, I was grounded. End of story, I brought my grades back to passing and so my social life returned....and I had a learning disability.

We no longer have dances at our school because the local youth sports association sponsors dances with few if any rules. Honestly, most middle schools in my area that do have dances do not allow students from other schools to attend dances on campus.

 

[auntie]

I think it's just plain sad. There just might be a child out there who..maybe for some reason, be it a learning disability, or having a rough time with a particular subject, or I don't know, even because they messed up..and made a God forbid mistake and actually failed a subject. Let's not encourage them to do better, participate and work harder. Let's ridicule them, punish them and shun them from all positive school events. Going to a school dance is not the same as a being involved with school sports or after school activities. Those activities require time from the student that is proably best spent studying and meeting the requirements for passing their course of study.
Attending a dance on a Fri. evening with your peers in what is supposed their school too, in my opinion, is something that should be encouraged. Dances should be inclusive of each and every student.
Yep...banning a child who failed a subject from socializing in a positive manner..that's really gonna make them want to try harder.
I'm so glad I'm done with this stuff. I don't know, my youngest graduated back in June.
Secondly..be glad they have dances ..our district doesn't have them anymore.

 

[kaytieeldr]

our school has the guest pass rule too, except our school demands that the guest bring his or her school ID. We dont have the grade rule, THANK GOODNESS. DC11 is having issues in math and failing. Shes also failing socially to make freinds. Banning a child like her from the chance to socilize would be bad! What a stupid rule!

I disagree that the rule itself is stupid.

What's stupid, or at least shortsighted, is notifying students and parents less than two weeks before the dance.

 

[NotUrsula]

I don't like the rule for one-time social events; it does isolate kids who otherwise are not behavior risks at all. (Now I can see banning kids who had a certain number of behavior demerits; that's a fair punishment for failure to follow the rules.)

I agree with the grade-threshold rule for ongoing time-intensive committments, however. If you are having serious academic difficulties you have no business spending 5 afternoons a week practicing basketball or rehearsing a play when you should be studying or attending tutoring sessions.

 

[NMAmy]

I think it sounds like a great rule. However, I would think it would be more fair to go by having a passing GPA not individual classes.

If they're going to do it, I like this idea, as well.

When I was growing up or when dd was in school, if school work was suffering, the plug was pulled (by my parents or by me for dd) on all social and after school activities. I don't see this as being any different.

 

[DebD4T]

At DD#2's middle school, in order to participate in any trips, dances, performances, etc, you must have passing grades and have no discipline problems. Each student is given an "invitation" to attend events.

For all the posters who are bothered by students missing events because of possibly failing a class, I can only speak for DD#2's school, but each student is looked at individually. The AP's and teachers KNOW if a student just had a bad marking period or is truly trying and is just having a hard time.

At DD#1's high school, in order to participate in certain events (leaving during the school day to participate in an activity, or participating in the student exchange program) the student MUST go to each teacher and get their signature on a permission slip.

 

[kirbsam]

this is middle school. in order to get a failing grade, you must not be trying. learning disabilities, etc. have an iep. though those kids may struggle, they are not earning failing grades. you have to not even care or try to get an f in middle school.

 

[Becky2005]

We haven't had those types of Middle School dances so I have no clue at that level.
They only have 1 dance and it's their graduation dance so they aren't going to not admit anyone. It's not open to others not at school but 90% of the dances end up with people just going with their friends, etc...

I know in High School if you do want to bring a date not at our school, you have to have the Principal of the OTHER school sign a form stating the student is in good standing, good character, etc.... type of thing.

As far as I know, no rule about grades for dances, attending sports games, etc... Now to be ON the sports team, perform in the play then your grades have to be passing. I don't think there is any requirement for after school clubs though -- especially since people can come & go in those all year long.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I understand the thought behind a rule like that, but it might push those on the fence- at risk to drop out- kids further away. Not only can't they keep up academically, but they can't keep up socially either.

Interesting point which I had not thought of. I am now on the fence about the overall merits of such a rule myself.

I agree with others that if this rules is to be implemented it really needs to be done from the start of the year and with plenty of warning. I would assume the idea is that the dance is then an incentive for students to keep their grades up--however, with no warning it cannot work as an incentive at all. It is doubtful that anyone can pull failing grades up into passing in any random two weeks.

When I have more time I will have to post about my discussion with my DD14 about the lack of school dances in Germany. I think it is somewhat relevant and interesting to the topic at hand.

 

[bicker]

I love the idea of focusing schools on academics, and motivating academic achievement through affording benefits mostly to those who are successful, rather than just relying on punishing those who fail.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

IMO I don't think dances should have this rule. Sports, theater, Newspaper etc OK but Dances are purely social and I don't think they should be tied into GPA.
I feel for the pretty good student who just happens to have a lousy grading period in say maybe Algebra or some other tricky subject, it may be the only time in their life they have a bad grade and now they can't go to the dance? that is a bit to much social embarrassment for my taste.

I agree. I thinks it's a terrible rule for a dance.

 

[WDSearcher]

I understand the thought behind a rule like that, but it might push those on the fence- at risk to drop out- kids further away. Not only can't they keep up academically, but they can't keep up socially either.

Then again ... maybe a few geeks will get a little bit of social recognition. Since they tend to be the wallflowers.

 

[WDSearcher]

IMO I don't think dances should have this rule. Sports, theater, Newspaper etc OK but Dances are purely social and I don't think they should be tied into GPA.
I feel for the pretty good student who just happens to have a lousy grading period in say maybe Algebra or some other tricky subject, it may be the only time in their life they have a bad grade and now they can't go to the dance? that is a bit to much social embarrassment for my taste.

Yeah, but it says PASSING grade, so it would depend on how that's defined. If "passing" is a D or above, then I'm thinking most kids would be covered, even with a bad grading period. If "passing" is "A or B", then that's a whole 'nother thing.

 

[englishteacha]

In the middle school where I teach, students on "academic probation" don't get to attend dances or activity nights or play in athletic events, or perform in the talent show or spring play. You have to be failing AND not putting in effort to get on AP, so I don't feel badly when a kid is put on AP. If you try and still don't pass, that's one thing. But when you don't even try, you don't get the perks of school.

 

[HM]

DD13 brought home a letter today from her school, letting parents know that the school's valentine's dance would be open to all students of the middle school who have ALL passing grades. is this a common thing now? this is DD's third year of middle school, and i've never seen such a rule. if this rule had been in effect when i was in school, the popular kids wouldn't have been nearly so popular, because none of them would've been allowed into the dances, lol.

it also includes a permission form for DD to bring a guest, in case her date doesn't go to her school, and i personally have to sign it and vouch that the guest is a middle school student. i sort of understand this part, but wow, the overall tone of the letter doesn't make it sound like much fun.

At my children's middle school, you had to get a sheet signed by one of your teachers or an administrator and your parent in order to be admitted. It testified that you were not on disciplinary suspension of any kind. Children from other schools were not allowed. The dances were always sponsored by a sport team or club to raise funds....$5 entry.