Is this a marriage "Red Flag"?

[NY Disney fan]

Someone who I care about (a cousin of mine) is getting married to a guy , who seems very nice and her parents approve of. The future groom is having a woman (who is labeled as his best friend from college) be his "best man" (aka best maid). Now I'm not concerned that the best maid is a cute blonde, that doesn't concern me. I'm more concerned that when problems occur in the marriage (and they will, as all marriages go through rough patches) that he will lean on another woman instead of his wife. Am I being too sensitive?

 

[teacups]

Do both the Groom and the Grooms Maid have integrity... or not? That's what to comes down to.

 

[Frankiesmom]

Yes, you are. I'm sure he has guy friends also. I have a friend that's a girl and her best friends are guys.

If the bride doesn't have a problem with it, than that's that.

 

[NY Disney fan]

If the bride doesn't have a problem with it, than that's that.

The bride does not have a problem with it. And it is none of my business. I was just throwing it out there to see if anyone felt uncomfortable with it (like I kind of do).

 

[tigger813]

Yes, I think you are being too sensitive. I say that with respect and not to be rude. I know many people who have best friends of the opposite sex. I've heard of many brides having their friends of the opposite sex be man of honor or the groom have a woman as the best '(wo)man". If the bride doesn't have a problem with it and nobody in the family has a problem with it then I wouldn't worry. It's nice to see you care for the cousin but I wouldn't make yourself too stressed about it.

 

[emma'smom]

No....I don't think it should bother you. Friends are friends.....

 

[GoodFairies]

Yes, too sensitive and not really your business.

I can't see a bride who has a major problem with her husband's friendship to a woman being ok with her massive presence in the wedding. So that should tell you all you need to know about where the bride stands.

 

[connorlevismom]

As long as the bride is OK with it, then I would not worry about it.

Kristine

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I have never heard of that and find it kind of weird, but what ever floats your boat. Personally, it wouldn't have happened in my wedding, no matter what.

 

[ez]

personally Ive never heard of this and I think its a bit odd. He doesnt have a close guy friend family member that can be best man? I wouldnt have been happy if dh had wanted a best woman...I am the best woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just my 2 cents, to each his own, I dont know if its a red flag, that remains to be seen. But odd, to me, yes.

 

[Stitchfans]

As long as the bride is OK with it, then I would not worry about it.

Kristine

I agree.

 

[Keira1387]

It's actually becoming more and more common for someone off the oppoiste to stand up for you. If the bride is ok with it, then I don't see it as a problem.

 

[Pigeon]

First of all, I don't think this is something you should concern yourself with in the first place. If it were any issue at all, it would be an issue for the bride, and no one else.

That said, yes, I think you are imagining an issue where none may exist. I've been happily married for 27 years, and have always had more and closer male friends than female friends. It's just the way it's worked out. I haven't had many problems in my marriage, but when I've had them, I have never gone running to my friends (male or female) to get involved. I've dealt with them by looking to myself and my husband.

 

[momrek06]

Will she be wearing a tux???

I have never heard of it but if they are close and the groom, bride and friend do not have any issues with it.....well then it could be a whole new trend!!!

Grooms maid and Brides man!!!!

 

[Justanopinion]

I have heard of this but never seen it with my own eyes at any wedding I've attended.

But at the same time, my DS(19) and his best friend, a female, say they will doing this when the time comes. Now, that's left to be seen, but I could see it happening. They are very close. Like brother and sister.

 

[Camicar]

I worked in bridal and this was not uncommon. He doesn't need a female friend to be unfaithful. If a guy's gonna cheat, he'll find a ho.

 

[Imzadi]

I think if she's been a real best friend to the groom, he could have "leaned" on her in the past when he had troubles. If they haven't done that already, there's probably not that kind of attraction there on either side. They are probably really platonic best friends.


I can't understand why you can't speculate on something that came up in your thinking that you are ondering about, without having a whole bunch of people coming down on you. You didn't say you were going in there and breaking up this wedding.

 

[clgwli]

Someone who I care about (a cousin of mine) is getting married to a guy , who seems very nice and her parents approve of. The future groom is having a woman (who is labeled as his best friend from college) be his "best man" (aka best maid). Now I'm not concerned that the best maid is a cute blonde, that doesn't concern me. I'm more concerned that when problems occur in the marriage (and they will, as all marriages go through rough patches) that he will lean on another woman instead of his wife. Am I being too sensitive?

Are you serious? Yes you are being too sensitive.

I've been to more than one wedding where a woman stood for a man and vice versa. I've stood for a man and honestly we had no intentions for each other. In fact he stood for me and I had my siblings (both male and female) on my side as well.

I really think it is crappy that you made that kind of a judgment call without any thing other than "it's a woman".

 

[diznygirl]

I wouldn't worry about it. I can't tell you the last time my DH talked to the best man from our wedding.

 

[NY Disney fan]

I really think it is crappy that you made that kind of a judgment call without any thing other than "it's a woman".

With all due respect, I did not insult you.