Is there a man-code that says men can't diss each other?

[foolishmortal]

When one of the women is disabled maybe? When it's tradition to have such a family time? When the person being rude is a guest and not the owner of the TV? When an adult that is not a child's parent yells at them? When said child has a disability? The FIL should be glad he's able bodied and appreciate the fact his DIL was trying to help his wife enjoy her holiday too.

I usually am not one to pray but I must say I pray that no one in your immediate family ever has a physical or mental disability if that is your attitude.

when it's tradition to have family time?? I have asked this twice of the OP and niether time was I answered..my guess is it wasn't tradition and that's why the FIL got mad because they were actually breaking tradition.

Yes he was rude I never once disputed this, but has we all have elders in our families the elders are used to getting thier way, this may be the case her as well...again I AGREE he was rude and out of line with the comments to the child

When the adult is not the childs parent??? Maybe different with yours but all the families I know...including my own in state and out of state, have full authority over all the kids in the family if they see them doing something wrong to punish them or bring it to the attention of the parent. Both of my sons know this and they know just because they are with great grandma, grandma, auntie or cousin, etc..they better listen because mom or I are not the only ones that can punish.

Maybe FIL doesn't know about the diability, or maybe you can even consider old age (set in ways) his own disablity as well....again I never said he should have yelled at the kid.

And AGAIN yes he should be happy as opposed to angered about the movie, but again, if football was the tradition why change it without EVERYONE knowing. What kind of household has Tday at thier house, but only has 1 TV to watch. When we invite people to our house for tday x-mas whatever we make sure EVERY tv is accesible and everyone can do as they please.

AND PLEASE DON'T PRAY FOR ME. I have both mental and physical disabilites on allsides of my family and they all know I RESPECT them greatly..and when we have gatherings I make sure they are accomidated for immensly.

For example this tday we watched football on the big TV but brought another tv from downstairs up to the dining room with a dvd player attached just in case, also my sons room as a tv dvd and gaming systems for the kids, so NOONE is left out at my gatherings!

So until you know how someone actually lives and respects people you may want to hold your prayers thank you.

 

[roque]

I am not going to comment on where the rudeness started, or who was right and who was wrong.. I will only say this:

Your FIL's behaviour towards your DS was disgraceful (regardless of who was 'in the right') and your DH needs to realise that, and should be protecting his little boy.

EXACTLY...for heavens sake Thanksgiving is for family not the pigskin... I personally don't think you did anything wrong ...hmmm i guess i did comment
oh well....

 

[Disney Doll]

I am amazed at the number of people who are saying that the OP is rude!!!!!!! Since when does anyone dictate what happens in your own house????

I've got a newsflash for everyone...my house, my rules. Regardless of who said football was going to be on for another hour, when it was time for football to go off, football would have gone off (especially after 5-6 hours of viewing football) and FIL could take a long walk off a short pier if he didn't like it.

I'd have plenty to say to DH, about his lacking of "guts" in not standing up to his father for his wife & child.

It's be a long time before FIL would be invited back to my house.

 

[disykat]

What kind of household has Tday at thier house, but only has 1 TV to watch. .

Yeah - the gall of some people. Inviting people into their home for a holiday meal without the guests preferred tv viewing situation prearranged! How dare they! I usually don't use smilies, but this one requireds an eye roll.

 

[foolishmortal]

I am amazed at the number of people who are saying that the OP is rude!!!!!!! Since when does anyone dictate what happens in your own house????

I've got a newsflash for everyone...my house, my rules. Regardless of who said football was going to be on for another hour, when it was time for football to go off, football would have gone off (especially after 5-6 hours of viewing football) and FIL could take a long walk off a short pier if he didn't like it.

I'd have plenty to say to DH, about his lacking of "guts" in not standing up to his father for his wife & child.

It's be a long time before FIL would be invited back to my house.

wow, my mom or dad would kick my a$$ if I tried to tell them that in my house none the less and I'm almost 30. It's called respect for your elders, that's how I was raised and that's how I raise my kids. I don't care who's house it is mine, your's, the mayor's, etc..the elders get to do/watch what they want first, then it goes down the chain from there.

That's why I have more than 1 tv going or have more than 1 activity for everyone. Also it wasn't 5-6 hours of football we already established that timeline, and does that really matter when the elder was already doing it anyways.

Could he have moved YES, should he have moved YES. But does that give anyone the right to just up and change the channel or the likes, NO.

I am not arguing the FIL is in the right, but what I am saying is the OP is just as at fault in this situation.

 

[foolishmortal]

Yeah - the gall of some people. Inviting people into their home for a holiday meal without the guests preferred tv viewing situation prearranged! How dare they! I usually don't use smilies, but this one requireds an eye roll.

obviously TV is a big part of this families tday activities or it wouldn't have been an issue would it?

Is it a big part of your maybe not, but reading into the OP it is in thiers, as well as it is in my families.

WOW the gall of some people to speak out against others..what has this world come too?

 

[roque]

wow, my mom or dad would kick my a$$ if I tried to tell them that in my house none the less and I'm almost 30. It's called respect for your elders, that's how I was raised and that's how I raise my kids. I don't care who's house it is mine, your's, the mayor's, etc..the elders get to do/watch what they want first, then it goes down the chain from there.

That's why I have more than 1 tv going or have more than 1 activity for everyone. Also it wasn't 5-6 hours of football we already established that timeline, and does that really matter when the elder was already doing it anyways.

Could he have moved YES, should he have moved YES. But does that give anyone the right to just up and change the channel or the likes, NO.

I am not arguing the FIL is in the right, but what I am saying is the OP is just as at fault in this situation.

wow.....this is almost funny if it wasn't so wel...l odd...respect is one thing and you can be an adult and still show your "elders" respect ...and why would one have a family get together and the focus be tv .... that's sad if everyone goes to their prearranged room to watch tv you could do that at home by yourself

 

[mill4023]

Is there a man-code that says men can't diss each other?

Are you kidding me?
If my father ever talked to my child that way, I would have had a hard time not punching him in the face and I would have definitely told him to get the hell out of my house.

As a man, I'm ashamed of your FIL for being such a jerk and your DH for not defending his own child.

IMO, respect is earned by actions, not simply by aging.

 

[foolishmortal]

MEMO TO THE OP


There are football games on x-mas and new years eve this year....you may want to plan ahead and let EVERYONE know what is going on.

 

[roque]

MEMO TO THE OP


There are football games on x-mas and new years eve this year....you may want to plan ahead and let EVERYONE know what is going on.

this was just mean and uncalled for ...why would you do this ???? just plain nasty and mean

 

[foolishmortal]

wow.....this is almost funny if it wasn't so wel...l odd...respect is one thing and you can be an adult and still show your "elders" respect ...and why would one have a family get together and the focus be tv .... that's sad if everyone goes to their prearranged room to watch tv you could do that at home by yourself

the "focus" for the whole family isn't TV but there are a few in the family we know have thier "programs" as they call them that need to be watched because god forbid they record them. I am pretty sure most families have the few elders that are like this. And my family it isn't just football, a couple have to watch thier westerns as well. so 1 room there is tv another there is outside there are kids playing, and other room is where the gathering happens

I am one that watches all the games but you know where I am at during halftime, and before and after...outside playing with all the kids....so if you think TV rules I am sorry you think that.

 

[foolishmortal]

this was just mean and uncalled for ...why would you do this ???? just plain nasty and mean

How is it mean to let the OP know ahead of time that the situation could occur again. If they know ahead of time then they can plan ahead and avoid the same situation from happening. I can tell from the post the OP would have no clue as to when some games are on so why not inform them ahead of time???

 

[foolishmortal]

wow.....this is almost funny if it wasn't so wel...l odd...respect is one thing and you can be an adult and still show your "elders" respect ...and why would one have a family get together and the focus be tv .... that's sad if everyone goes to their prearranged room to watch tv you could do that at home by yourself

This becomes even funnier now.

My wife just called and said she will be on a local news channel tonight!! She works for an online toy company and they are running a story on online shopping as today is "cyber monday".

 

[Magickndm]

Things always seem to find a way to get ugly here.


I had a grandpa who could be very crotchety, and, no matter whose house we were at, if I, or a cousin of mine, came in and turned off the show he was watching (his would have been Lawrence Welk) he would have been furious. I think this is the real issue here, your FIL didn't like the fact a child was taking over. He may not have heard you yell out the one hour warning, especially if he is older.
If I were you, I'd make a mental note to not get your son involved in a situation like that.....then let it go. Grandparents are not with us near long enough. It would be a shame to let something like this end up being an even worse memory, and who knows? You may very well be laughing about it some day. Looking back, my cousins and I still laugh (with love) at how my grandpa could be.

 

[roque]

How is it mean to let the OP know ahead of time that the situation could occur again. If they know ahead of time then they can plan ahead and avoid the same situation from happening. I can tell from the post the OP would have no clue as to when some games are on so why not inform them ahead of time???

to late to back pedal...

 

[VSL]

wow, my mom or dad would kick my a$$ if I tried to tell them that in my house none the less and I'm almost 30. It's called respect for your elders, that's how I was raised and that's how I raise my kids. I don't care who's house it is mine, your's, the mayor's, etc..the elders get to do/watch what they want first, then it goes down the chain from there.

Respect is a two-way thing and is earned with deeds and actions, not with age (as mill4023 said). Just because someone is older it doesn't mean they should have more rights than younger people.

Either way, I am so glad that all people have to deal with over here is the Queen's Speech on Christmas Day!

 

[foolishmortal]

to late to back pedal...

I was being serious when I wrote that

read the OP posts they admit to not liking football so would they know there would be games on x-mas eve and new-years eve when that isn't the norm every year?

 

[foolishmortal]

Things always seem to find a way to get ugly here.


I had a grandpa who could be very crotchety, and, no matter whose house we were at, if I, or a cousin of mine, came in and turned off the show he was watching (his would have been Lawrence Welk) he would have been furious. I think this is the real issue here, your FIL didn't like the fact a child was taking over. He may not have heard you yell out the one hour warning, especially if he is older.
If I were you, I'd make a mental note to not get your son involved in a situation like that.....then let it go. Grandparents are not with us near long enough. It would be a shame to let something like this end up being an even worse memory, and who knows? You may very well be laughing about it some day. Looking back, my cousins and I still laugh (with love) at how my grandpa could be.

 

[foolishmortal]

Respect is a two-way thing and is earned with deeds and actions, not with age (as mill4023 said). Just because someone is older it doesn't mean they should have more rights than younger people.

Either way, I am so glad that all people have to deal with over here is the Queen's Speech on Christmas Day!

I agree it is a 2 way thing, but if your mother or father is watching a show at your house would you just go in and change it on them???

 

[MICKEY88]

Are you kidding me?
If my father ever talked to my child that way, I would have had a hard time not punching him in the face and I would have definitely told him to get the hell out of my house.

As a man, I'm ashamed of your FIL for being such a jerk and your DH for not defending his own child.

IMO, respect is earned by actions, not simply by aging.

wow now there's a Thanksgiving the kids would remember...!!!!!

and a very good lesson, violence solves everything...

has anyone considered that the husband did nothing because he was trapped between a rock and a hard place..., on one hand his father was wrong with the way he handled things, on the other hand his wife was wrong for not addressing the issue beforehand with the adults, rather than getting the nine year olds hope up over the movie, and then sticking the nine year old in the middle . the average 9 year old would do the exact same thing if you tell them they can watch a dvd at a certain time, they will assume they have permission, and change channnels to watch the dvd,,,unfortunately the permission was indirectly granted by someone not in the room watching the tv, rather than those adults who were watching the game..